Faith's Point of view
I dragged the blade across my skin. I whimpered and flinched at the pain. Do it i told myself. I dragged it again and blood pooled to the surface. I was crying. Tears and blood mixed on my wrist and i whipped it on a towel that i had hidden away in my bathroom.
"Faith, its dinner time!" My mom yelled from downstairs.
I tried to control my crying, "Coming," i yelled back.
My name is Faith Bray. I have major depression and bipolar. If im not sleeping, im crying and cutting. That had been going on for about a year. I only had one escape. Tokio Hotel. Their music was my escape. I would sit in my room and listen to their music until i got through the hard moments. I sing, but no where as good as Bill Kaulitz. He is my idol.
I hid the razor and covered my wrist with my long sleeve t-shirt. Whipping under my eyes to clear the makeup i calmed myself down. I wouldn't let my little sister see me like this. Helen was only six years old. She got so worried when i even had a frown on my face.
I ran down the large staircase and went into the kitchen. Everyone was there. Helen, my dad and my mom.
"Whats for dinner?" I asked, sniffing the air.
Mom smiled, "Roast Beef for the rest of us. Veggie burger for you." I was a vegetarian.
I clapped my hands together, "Bring on the food."
Helen laughed, "Come sit next to me Faith."
I sat down next to her and gave her a hug, "are you excited for camp tomorrow?"
"Yeah. Were going to play on the beach every day," She was so excited.
She was going to a sleep-away camp for a whole two weeks. I was going to miss her, but she was so excited.
I smiled at her, "im excited for you."
We all sat down and my dad took some food, "so have you filled out those applications yet Faith?"
Oh great, more collage talk, "Yeah Dad. I have."
He nodded, looking at his paper, "Good."
"Hows Jake?" Mom asked taking some roast.
I swallowed my bite, "He's great," I lied.
Jake was my ex boyfriend. He only wanted one thing from me and i figured it out a little too late. Good thing i carried pepper spray with me.
She nodded, "Thats good. Tell him we say hello."
I didn't answer back and the rest of the dinner was in silence. As soon as i did the dishes i ran back upstairs to my room. I burst into tears when i entered. I hated my mom and dad. They never knew what was going on in my life. I grabbed my ipod and laid down in my bed. I turned the volume up all the way;
Running through the Monsoon
Beyond the world
to the end of time
where the rain won't hurt
fighting the storm
into the blue
and when i loose myself i think of you
together we'll be running somewhere new
through the Monsoon.
I sang along quietly to the music. All i wanted to do was meet Bill. Then i could kill myself. I fell asleep that night trying to convince myself that i would meet him, and that everything would turn out right.
I woke up at three am and went on my computer. It's what i usually did when i woke up early. I looked on the Tokio Hotel website for any updates and i gasped. There was a contest. To meet the band in New York. That might not be a big deal to all but i lived in shitty Maryland. New York was so much better. I red the article and all you had to do was submit a page essay on why you should win. I closed the page and immediately began.
It took me up until everyone else was awake. Basically it said that Tokio Hotel was my hope, my everything and i wasn't lying. I submitted it and checked the ending date. Luckily I had gotten it in. The ending time was later that day.
"Faith. Come drive your sister to camp," Mom said.
Crap i forgot. I had to drive Helen, "Coming."
I got downstairs and Helen was ready. She had all her things packed and her favorite pillow under her arm.
"Ready?" I asked trying to smile.
She nodded, "Ready."
I helped her carry her things out to the car and we sped off toward the shore. The ride was about three hours long so i had brought my ipod for her to listen to. I put hannah montana and other things like that on for her. I hated Miley Cyrus.
She fell asleep for about two hours and i had to wake her up when we got there. I got out and went around to her side, helping her out of the car.
I knelt down to her level, "I got you this," I gave her a cell phone, "You call me if you need me."
She beamed and took the phone, "ok."
I gave her a hug, "ill miss you."
She looked at me, "but you need to come in for orientation."
I raised my eyebrows, "I do?"
Helen nodded.
"Ok, lets go," I sighed.
She held my hand and we walked down to the big outdoor hall where the rest of the campers were. The adults stood up while the campers sat on the benches.
"Welcome to Camp," The lead woman said into the microphone.
She talked about all the activities and what he campers would be doing. I noticed a boy around my age looking at me. He was emo and sorta beautiful. When he noticed i saw he smiled at me. I smiled back, then looked away.
When the speech was over Helen came up to me and gave me a hug.
"See you soon," I said and she ran off to join her friends.
I saw her make friends with this little blonde girl and they ran off together.
"Looks like our little sister's are friends," a voice said from next to me.
I turned to smile at the boy who had been staring at me, "that was your little sister?"
He nodded, "Yeah. Her name is Rachel."
"Im Faith."
He smiled, "Im Troy."
I checked my phone for the time, i needed to get back.
"I need to go. It was nice meeting you," I waved as i walked the other way.