Sorry this took FOREVER. I just got a bad case of writer's lethargia. On the upside, I blocked out a massive outline for the rest of the story. On the downside, I have already strayed from the path I laid out for myself with this chapter. Oh well. Onward and upward! I hope you enjoy this chapter, featuring Adolescent!Lucy. And thank you so much to everyone who reviewed. I would never have forced myself to write this if it weren't for you. firstmorningdew, your review was the straw that broke the camel of despair'sback and the reason I just sat in the lobby of this building for an hour and a half to finally finish this chapter. Bless you!
This Desperate Youth, Chapter 3
The Grand Vizier's party stayed on at the castle for five weeks and showed no signs of leaving until suddenly one Saturday morning all of their things were packed and a long line of horses and carts and servants wended down the steep incline from Cair Paravel to the sea. A flurry of trumpets and song as accompanied the parade of nobles and a swathe of crushed flowers trailed behind.
Lucy stood with Susan on the dock, beneath an awning held by four retainers and tried not to sweat through her blue silk morning dress. She stole a glance at Susan, but her sister was beaming regally at the gathering crowd, every inch the High Queen of Narnia. Peter and Edmund stood a little to the side, conversing with the captain of the Golden Wind, the Grand Vizier's flag ship.
The harbor at the foot of Cair Paravel was large enough to hold several ships, but had only two docks, one of which was undergoing extensive repairs, and the other, at which the Golden Wind was tied up. Two other ships were anchored beyond the Wind, almost at the mouth of the harbor, and several boats were rowing back and forth delivering passengers and last minute baggage. Lucy fanned herself, wishing for a breath of wind to stir the sultry morning air. Summer had not even truly begun and already the heat was stifling. Lucy eyed the never diminishing line of the nobility and their staff with dismay.
"I suppose there's a good reason we're doing this so early?" Lucy asked idly.
"The tide waits for no man," Edmund replied cheekily, planting a kiss on her cheek. "You look fantastic this morning, Lu. New dress?" Susan cast him a glare and he laughed, patting Lucy good naturedly on the back and taking up his position to her right. Each departing visitor paid their respects to their Royal Majesties before proceeding to board the ship. Lucy's face began to ache from smiling and her head was throbbing with the effort of remembering each of their names.
"Well, that's the last of them," Peter said with relief as a particularly oily courtier joined the last group and was rowed out to his ship.
"I suppose they'll--what is it? shove off? weigh anchor?-- now," Lucy said with a sort of grim satisfaction, thinking of a particular Tarkheena she was not going to miss in the slightest.
"Not yet, your Highness," the captain said. "We're waiting on the Minister of International Trade."
"How dreadfully boring," Lucy said with disdain. "And how awful that we must stand around in this heat, waiting for some self-important little bureaucrat." Edmund laughed and mussed her hair.
"Well, we shan't have to wait long. Here comes your bureaucrat now." Lucy patted her curls back into place and squinted up along the long avenue. Her hand paused in mid pat and her eyes widened.
"It can't be Tumnus!" she gasped, but the little figure steadily growing bigger was unmistakably faunish and wearing a splendidly embroidered scarf of the type Tumnus had taken to wearing this last month. Lucy whirled towards her siblings, fists clenched at her sides.
"Minister of International Trade?" she screeched. "Tumnus!" She looked from Peter to Susan in disbelief. Edmund was bent nearly in two with laughter. Lucy shrieked with irritation.
"I'm sorry, Lu," Edmund wheezed, "but if you could see your face..." He trailed off into a series of slow wheezes, clutching his sides. By this time Tumnus had trotted up to their small party on the dock, smiling apologetically.
"Hello, Queen Susan, Queen Lucy, Your Majesties. Am I the last one, then? Yes, well, I'd better get on board, hadn't I?" Susan smiled indulgently and lent forward to kiss his cheeks.
"Go with Aslan, Minister Tumnus," she said formally and stepped back to let her brothers shake his hands and offer similar sentiments. Lucy stood silently to the side, biting her tongue to keep from shouting. Of them all, only Tumnus sensed the approaching storm. Finally he turned toward her and offered a false-bright smile. She bent her head to hide her furious tears and worked her fingers in the folds of her silk skirt.
"You're leaving, then, Tumnus?" she asked in a high, tight voice, hardly daring to spare him a glance. He stared at her and could find no words to bring them out of this moment of intense accusation. The silence stretched out for a few heartbeats. "Obviously," she said and looked at him. Her eyes were hard and empty and Tumnus wondered suddenly how the girl he knew had been transformed into this cold, formidable woman.
"Slipping out like a thief in the night. Going to test the tropical waters? Smell the desert rose?" she scoffed.
"Lucy!" Susan said in shock.
"You know, Tumnus, when you mix the desert and the sea you don't get anything but a pile of mud, no matter how well connected. No matter what's outside, it's all mud underneath!" Somehow Lucy had gotten quite close to Tumnus and she could see him flinch as she flung each word at him.
"That's quite enough, Lu," Peter said firmly, taking her by the arm. Tumnus' mouth had dropped open slightly and his rosy face had gone stark white. Lucy gasped in a short breath, staring at him.
"I hope you don't get sand in your fur," she said viciously. She jerked her arm out of Peter's grasp and rushed past Tumnus up the road to the palace. The others stood for a moment in stunned silence on the dock, the captain blinking rapidly in confusion, Susan clutching Edmund's arm for support, Edmund gaping at Tumnus, Tumnus with his face averted and eyes downcast, and Peter looking up the road after Lucy, who had disappeared over a hill.
The captain cleared his throat and everyone seemed to spring suddenly to life. Vague, shocked apologies were made and Tumnus was hurried onto the Golden Wind. The last of the cargo was lashed to the deck and the captain bowed to Peter, shook Edmund's hand heartily, and hurried up the gangplank. In moments, the anchor was weighed and the ship cast off, leaping to follow it's brethren out of the harbor.
Tumnus was leaning against the railing, looking out at the slowly passing headland when he spotted Lucy. She said nothing, but he heard her as clearly as if she had shouted his name. A wordless calling that pulled him around until he was facing her, standing on the exposed beams of the dock. Her blue dress was whipping in the rising wind and her hair had pulled free of its ribbons to sweep in the wind, alternately obscuring and revealing the pale oval of a face.
The ship swept closer and they locked eyes across the expanse of water. He saw the tracks of tears glistening down her cheeks and she mouthed something at him. The motions of her lips were unclear but he read the words as if he'd seen them written.
I didn't mean it. He closed his eyes briefly and breathed in the rising wind. When he looked at her she was farther away but he knew she would hear him.
"I know," he whispered. "I know."