A/N - written for angelprincesslilac's Summer 2010 Challenge. Just a one-shot
Disclaimer - Nothing is mine that could be NCIS LA, just having fun.
Under the Stars
He was drinking at the bar, alone. He needed some time after today and Dom. He could probably call Sam if he drank too much, but he wasn't planning on it. He had his car outside. Hopefully that would keep him in line. He didn't want to get drunk, even if it was tempting to do, to dull the pain and memories of today. The plan was just a drink in an unknown bar, away from everyone he knew. Well not exactly unknown. Dom had mentioned that he came here sometimes. He just wanted to be anonymous for a while.
"Buy you a drink?" a female voice came from the bar stool next to him. He turned toward the voice. She was pretty, his type even. He saw her look him over and smile.
"Sorry, only having one," he said, indicating the drink in his hand. He turned back away from her. Another night, maybe he'd have said yes, he just wasn't interested right now. Pity, a night with a beautiful girl would've help him forget about today, at least until tomorrow.
"Mind if I stay?" she asked.
"Sure," he replied, not looking at her. "Probably won't be here much longer anyway," he added, just so she didn't think it was her that had caused him to leave when his drink was done.
"Really? You look like you needed company," she said.
He turned and looked at her, frowning, wondering why she was trying to pick him up. He was sure he was sending off signals that said 'Stay away'. He watched as she shook her head, a blush covering her cheeks and closed her eyes, letting out a sigh.
"God, he'd be so mad at me if he knew what I was doing tonight. I'm sorry," she said, starting to move of the stool.
"Wait," he said. She turned back to him. He could see the embarrassment in her eyes.
"Who'd be mad?" he asked. He had seen the pain in her eyes just before she had closed them and somehow, he felt like it was the same as what was hiding behind his.
"My cousin," she said, looking away from him.
"Why?" he asked.
"Because I'm out here, trying to get drunk and get up the courage to go home with some strange guy and just forget. I can almost hear him telling me to go home, to not be so stupid, that I could get hurt. Sorry, no offence," she said, looking back at him at the apology.
"None taken," he said, thinking her cousin sounded like a good guy.
"You know, here," she said, putting some money on the bar just in front of him. "Have something on me sometime. I think maybe I'll take his advice after all. Thanks for the chat and not taking me up on the offer. I think I needed that tonight," she said and stood up. As she took a couple of steps away he called her back again.
"Wait," he said. She turned back. "So the talking helped?" he asked, wondering what Nate would have thought of him asking that question.
She smiled at him.
"Yeah, it did. Guess I should go find someone to talk to instead," she said.
"You've started with me, want to continue?" he asked, surprising himself at the offer. She tilted her head and looked at him.
"You offering an ear?" she asked.
"Maybe even a shoulder to cry on," he said. He wasn't quite sure why but something in him felt that maybe the two of them could help each other.
"Okay, but not here," she said, shaking her head, as she looked around. He had a feeling she was uncomfortable here.
"Fine by me," he replied as he handed back her money and replaced it with his own. He'd had enough of the crowds anyway. Too many people to witness if you lost it.
"Shall we?" he said as he stood up and held out an arm for her.
"Am I going to be safe with you?" she asked as she put her arm in his.
"Won't hurt you. Too much of that in my life today," he said. He wished he could forget the pain he saw in his team mates eyes, felt reflected in his own, but unless he wanted to get seriously drunk, that wasn't going to happen tonight.
"Then let's go," she said.
Outside the bar, she stopped and he watched as she looked up and saw the crystal clear night, no clouds. She turned to him and said, "How about we continue this chat at the beach? It's a beautiful night."
"Deal," he said as he walked them over to his car, opening the door for her.
"Just find me one without too many lights so I can see the stars," she said softly, as he got in the driver's seat. He knew a beach like that, so he drove them to it, wondering if he should find out her name. He kind of liked that this was all anonymous.
"Any chance you have a blanket or something in the back?" she asked. He looked at her for a moment before answering, wondering what she had planned. Wondering whether he had misread the signals. He was pretty sure he hadn't.
"Good chance. Why?" he asked.
"I want to lie on the beach and look up at the stars. It's something I used to do with my cousin," she said and he saw the tears in her eyes. No, he hadn't misread the signals, she was in pain and just needed someone. Just like him.
"I'll see what I can find," he said as he got out and checked the trunk. Right where he left it.
"Let's go," he said, holding out his hand to her. She took it and smiled at him, though he could see she was having a hard time holding back her tears. He wondered what had happened, wondered what had happened to her that seemed to be causing her as much pain as what had happened to him. When they got to the edge of the path near the beach, she stopped and slipped off her shoes. He took her hand again and they found their way to a patch of darkness out of the way of the lights and the water.
He spread out the blanket and they both laid back on it, side by side, arms just touching and he waited. He wasn't sure who was going to speak first, he wasn't even sure if he would say anything. But somehow, being here with her felt good. Like two people in pain, somehow managing to make it a little bit better by sharing it, even without words. Not as good as getting drunk and not feeling a thing, but better than being alone. She started to speak first and he listened quietly.
"I was sixteen when this guy broke my heart. He was an idiot, but it still hurt. He broke up with me because I wouldn't sleep with him. My cousin came over that night, after he heard about it. He grabbed a blanket and took me outside to the grass. We laid down like this, well close anyway. I had my head on his shoulder, he had arm around me." She paused and he heard her shaky breath. He waited, giving her time and the listening ear he had promised her. Listening to her tell her story was giving him something else to focus on.
"He showed me all the stars in the sky, then he handed me some binoculars and told me to look again. There were so many more than you could see without them. He told me that if you look through a telescope there were even more. Then he showed me the constellations, showed me what to look for, how to find them easily. After a while, he said something I'll never forget. He told me that there were a lot of people in the world, a lot of guys. That you can't see all of them in one glance. Told me not to just go fishing for anything. To figure out what I wanted and how to find it. To not settle for just anyone. 'You're worth more than that.' he said. That's some wisdom coming from a sixteen year old boy." As she finished he could hear the tears in her voice and looked over to see them falling down the side of her face.
"What happened to him?" he asked, though he had a very strong suspicion he knew the answer. That much pain could only come from loss.
"He died," she said.
"I'm sorry," he said, meaning it. He was right, she had been feeling the same kind of pain as him.
"Hardest part. They won't tell us much. Just that he died in the line of duty," she said.
Just like Dom.
"What about you?" she asked, turning her head to look at him. "Why are you so miserable?"
He figured why not. It seemed to work for her. Plus, at least she wouldn't try and get into his head like Nate would.
"Collegue, killed. Hardest thing, he died saving one of us, but I can't tell his family he was a hero," he said. Dom had died saving Sam. He'd given his life for someone else. Can't get much more heroic than that. But they couldn't really tell Dom's family that. Because of who they were and what they did, they couldn't explain what had really happened.
"I'm sorry," she said. He knew she meant it.
They were quiet for a while, and then she started pointing out some of the constellations. Telling him how she knew what to look for to find them. He knew some as well, so they took turns. He wasn't sure how long they were there for, but when he felt her start to shiver by his side as the night got cooler, he stood up and pulled her up too. He slipped an arm around her to help keep her warm as he said, "Perhaps I should take you home."
"How about just help me find a cab," she said, looking up at him. Seemed like she liked the anonymity too.
"Okay," he said. They walked back to his car and he drove them back to where he knew they would find one.
As she was about to get in, he stopped her and gave her a gentle kiss on the cheek.
"Thank you," he said. He'd probably never admit it to Nate but sometimes it seemed talking did help, even if you didn't really say much.
She kissed him back on the cheek.
"Thank you," she whispered and got in the cab. He handed the cab driver some cash which would cover just about anything within the city limits and watched as it left.
He felt better and, thankfully, he hadn't had to call Sam to come get him.
He was sitting with the team at Dom's funeral. If there was anything he hated more than hospitals, it was funerals. At least in a hospital, unless you were in the morgue, there was a chance. A funeral was the end. There was no chance that they would make it out alive. They were already dead if you were at the funeral. They were about halfway through. He'd been asked to say something but he'd declined. He just didn't think he could do it. Hetty was going to instead. He was looking down, not really listening at that point, when he heard a familiar voice.
"Dominic Vaile was the best cousin a girl could have," the voice said.
He looked up to see the woman from the other night.
"He was like a big brother in a cousin's body. He..." She stopped as she saw him, looked at him with a tilt to her head, like she was trying to figure out who he was. He saw the tears in her eyes; saw her bite her lip; saw the smile that she gave him. He watched as she put away the speech she'd been reading and started again.
"I was sixteen, with a broken heart when he told me not to go fishing for just any guy. To find out what I wanted and to look for it, to not settle. That I was worth more than that. He was sixteen as well." She smiled softly before continuing.
"At sixteen, Dom was a hero to me. He saved me from doing something really stupid. He was so much more than just a kid. The night he died ... he saved me as well. Sending me someone to stop me doing something stupid again." She smiled at him as she said that last part, and he knew she was referring to him. He wondered where she was going with this impromtu speech.
"If he was already a hero to me at sixteen, imagine what he could do in his life. He wanted to serve his country from the time he was five. He made that dream a reality, giving almost everything to make it happen. But never, never sacrificing his family. All of us, extended, close and otherwise." Again, she glanced at him, and he wondered what Dom had told her about them. "He was always there for us. We might not know the who's, or the why's, or the when's, but I have no doubt that Dom was a hero to more than just me. Always will be," she said as the tears fell and she couldn't speak anymore. She stepped away from the microphone and went back to her seat. He watched her for a moment before she turned, looked back at him and smiled. Silently he said, "Thank you," to her. She did the same back to him.
She'd been able to do what he couldn't. Tell his family that Dom was a hero, in a way that was believable, and good. He'd been able to give her what she needed. Knowing how Dom died, even if it wasn't in detail. Two unknown people. He still didn't know her name. That didn't matter. All that mattered was that somehow they had helped each other get through a most painful time.