Authors Note: Apparently I am in some kind of mood and the only stories I can do are angst ones. I'm sorry. The following is nothing I ever want to see on BONES- it just came out. I enjoy reviews- the let me know if I should stop writing all together.

I do not own the series BONES or any of the characters.

She had been in the Polynesian Islands for nearly seven months, but the days leading up to her departure from DC was fresh on her mind. She longed to be sitting on the steps in front of the reflecting pool. She could see his face from where came to the airport to tell her goodbye. She wondered what he was doing. She had gotten a letter from him a few weeks ago. He never said where he was, just talked about how hot it was, how he missed everyone in DC. He had included a picture that Parker had drawn for her- confident his dad could get it to her. She looked down at the picture again- Parker had drawn his dad chasing bad guys with her close behind. A tear slowly ran down her face dripping onto the paper and slightly smearing the ink. She had barely registered when Daisy entered her room. "Doctor Brennan it is time to go. Are you ready?"

Finding her voice she whispered, "Yes, let's get on with it."

She had gotten the call earlier that morning. Cam had been the one to call requesting her to come back to DC but would give no details. When she was persistent that she was not going to come rushing back for no reason Cam broke down into tears but calmly said that Booth has been shot.

She refused to believe it. He had faked his death before. As if Cam could read her thoughts she quietly started to tell Brennan the details.

"He was supposed to be in a green zone. Apparently he was standing in the wrong spot at the wrong time. It was the only place in the zone that somebody on a ridge could get a position for."

Brennan didn't say anything except I will be on my way when I can. If it were true than leaving here would make it real. And if it wasn't than she didn't think she would be able to look Booth in the eyes ever again. Daisy booked her a flight and made sure she got on it. Cam had called Angela and Hodgins as well and they were meeting Brennan at the airport in England.

The flight had been silent the entire way. She couldn't sleep and wasn't hungry. She was trying to picture him dead. It didn't seem possible.

When they landed they had to go straight to the church where the service was being held. They met Cam and the interns there. Parker was there with his mother and when he saw Brennan ran up to her to give her a hug. She knelt down at first surprised by the lengthy hug but then embraced the little boy. She didn't know what to say. To say it all would be okay would be to lie. They were led into a side chapel to say their goodbyes privately. She caressed his face- still not believing it could be him. After a period of time they were led into the church for the service.

She didn't remember anything from the service. She was replaying images inside her head. They day they first met. The day they first kissed. Him finding her after the grave digger episode and after the FBI agent gone rogue. She remembered finding him moments before the ship blew and how relieved she felt. And she remembered his face as he said goodbye for a year.

After the day was done, and Booth was lowered into the ground she assured her friends, her family, that she was doing just fine and needed some space. She needed to go for a walk. They all offered to come but she respectfully declined. She needed to get her wits about her- needed to rationalize it all.

Somehow she wound up sitting on the steps before the reflecting pool. It was there all her emotions completely overwhelmed her and she let loose. It was finally real. Tears ran down her face in rapid succession. Then she looked to the distance and all of her rage and anger had some place to go.

"Why? Tell me why you had to go. You weren't a soldier anymore. You said you hated being a sniper. So why did you have to go?"

In her mind she knew there was no one there- no one was going to answer. But her heart had taken over and she was pissed off at him. Pissed off at the one who had shot him. Pissed off at just about everyone. She sat on the stairs for hours and just cried. Occasionally screaming out another question. And when she felt her legs could hold her, she stood up and left- never looking back.

The next day she went back to work at the Jeffersonian- although it wasn't without protests from those close to her. She said she needed to work- needed to be able to put her mind towards something useful. She attempted to make everything go back the way it was before. The one thing she changed was she never worked for the FBI again. She was Booth's girl- not the FBI's- and Booth was gone. But no matter how hard she tried to convince herself, no matter how much time went by or how many times her friends tried to convince her to do this and that- she couldn't forget he was gone. It was her fault he was gone. She couldn't say the words to keep him here when he needed to say them. And now that she could, it was beyond too late.