Thank you Bonefan4evar4 for looking over this chapter, you're help is appreciated. Also thank you for the review you left for the last chapter, I'm glad you're enjoying this story.
Thank you for those who have added this to your favorites and alerts. Your suppose is appreciated.
This chapter is to show Loghain's turmoil; there will be more chapter of him later on as my other story continues.
Loghain part 1
With a sigh I sat in my tent waiting for Cailan, he hadn't shown up yet and I had been expecting him over an hour ago. With a curse I threw open the flap of my tent, squinting at the glaring sunlight that hit my unshielded eyes. The heat was almost unbearable as I stood there, while the sun beat on my metal armor.
"Where is Cailan?" I growled at the guard at my tent. One, that I have known for years, who has served me loyally for many of those years, and knew most of my secrets. I trusted him and regretted taking my anger out on him.
"He went to meet the new recruits for the Grey Wardens ser." He told me, his eyes down casted as I snarled, storming back into my tent. Damn him and those Grey Wardens, to the Maker and back. I vented to myself as I paced the confines of my tent.
Papers littered my table, maps hung on cloth walls or lay strewn through the tent. These things would usually keep my attention, since war was imminent, but even that couldn't overcome my annoyance towards my daughter's husband. Cailan… there was so many things I wanted to do to him, after finding out from my daughter what had been happening. I could never forgive him some of those things. He had hurt my daughter deeply. Women, there were always women waiting for him. All he has to do is say no, but he doesn't.
I closed my eyes, taking deep even breaths, trying to calm down and think rationally. But that was futile, as the guard at my door was sending someone away quite noisily. With an annoyed growl, once more I threw open the flap of my tent to be met by the bluest eyes. Eyes that I remembered so well, that use to haunt my dreams and still do at times. Mikhail; he was here.
I knew the Grey Warden would have picked him; he was the best fighter that I had met. With training he would be a menace on the field. He was one of those few that could boast about being a nature with a blade.
I greeted him quietly after getting over my shock seeing him here of all place. He had a small smile, his eyes bright as he regarded me.
"Mikhail, walk with me," I asked him after a time as he stood there waiting. With a motion of my hand, we headed towards a place that overlooked of one of the fields. He stood beside me, a grown man that was sure of himself. From what I heard he was becoming too well known with the woman and men. That information grated on my nerves.
His long black hair, pulled back into a braid, some things never changed, even after a year. His blue eyes were harder, colder, no longer the smiling ones I remembered, the one that I…
We talked quietly for awhile, he was astute as ever and knew I was hiding something from him. I tried my best to keep him out of this, but that was easier said than done. He could read me to well as I could read him, he was curious, intrigued to say the least.
I sent him away, a part of me happy that he was here and another part fearful that he was. I had heard the rumors that the initiation into the Grey Wardens could be deadly. I hoped he would survive.
I went back to my maps and planned, while the hours slowly passed by. Day turned into a brisk cool night, giving a reprieve from the blistering heat from the day. I heard Mikhail nearby as I sat back in my chair listening to him as he and another young man were teaching some girls.
Quietly, I chuckled to myself and wondered how long would it take for what he was doing to spread around the camp. I heard another voice, a very annoyed voice that belonged to our king. I should leave him and Mikhail alone for awhile and see what happens. I had heard how Mikhail had treated him when they first met. I had to hide a small smile from Cailin. Mikhail didn't suffer fools gladly and Cailin at times could be a fool.
"What is it Cailin?" I asked him as he stormed into my tents, the flap fluttering behind him letting in a slight breeze that cooled the skin on my face.
"That Cousland I met, he has no respect for the crown." He ranted pacing the confines of my tent, his anger, almost palatable. "Now I see him not far away, he and another are seducing women. Aren't you going to stop him?" He asked with a bite to each word.
"No, why should I? My job is to plan strategy for the up and coming battle, not babysit wardens." I growled angrily at him, that he would expect me to take care of Mikhail.
"I should talk with Duncan about him." He grumbled, glaring towards where we could hear Mikhail and his companion.
"I wouldn't, this could be his last night of fun." I told him quietly as I listened to Mikhail voice drop low and intimate. A part of me hated him at the moment, hearing his voice as it was now.
"You're right," he sighed. I knew what his problem was and I tried to keep my anger in check. He wore the crown and I was an advisor, nothing more, even though my daughter was his wife.
He sighed and left my tent in a sulking silence. Peace and quiet enveloped the small confines of my tent. Finally the camp was slowing down and I could relax. Mikhail's voice couldn't be heard anymore, I breathed a sigh of relief.
Late the next morning Mikhail and the new recruits were sent into the Wilds. I feared for his safety, I feared that he wouldn't be returning. Old memories came to me as I paced my tent, my frustration mounting. I left my tent needing air, it was too stifling in there for me. To my shock I found three men standing in front of my tent talking about the new wardens, especially Mikhail. I glowered at them, but they didn't notice.
I motioned for my personal guard to follow me into my tent, "I want you to follow Mikhail in the Wilds, I want you to watch him and then report back to me." I ordered him.
"Ser, may I ask a question?" He glanced at me and then back to the floor.
"What?" I came close to growling.
"Is he the one that you…" He trailed off when I turned a lethal gaze at him. I watched as he swallowed nervously, before rushing out of the tent. How dare he bring that up! Now of all times! I seethed silently.
I watched him leave from the flap of my tent, letting the sweltering heat pour in and wash over me. Duncan stood by the fire watching the gates, I could see the tension in his shoulders from here and I wondered about it. I saw worry in his features as he glanced my direction a worry that I shared.
I went to him, hoping I would get more information about this ritual. "Duncan." I greeted kindly. He hadn't done anything to cause my ire. He thought this war was a mistake, the Kings way was anyways.
"Loghain, I see you know Mikhail," he commented with a raised brow. Well if I want information I would have to give some.
"I was his teacher for a short time." I shrugged as if it was no big deal, when it was quite the opposite.
"Yes, I thought I recognized his fighting style. What motivated you to teach him?" he asked watching me closely.
"His pragmatic attitude and aptitude for a sword; he was a quick learner, and very easy to teach." I gave a small smile at the memory.
"You could teach him here, if you so wish it." He murmured, staring off into the distance.
"No, we have a war to fight, now isn't the time. Plus I don't have the time." I frowned and then shook my head trying to dislodge my wayward thoughts.
"I'm sorry. I shouldn't have brought that up." He gave me an understanding look. I hoped I was reading more into that look than what was there.
"Don't worry about it." I muttered turning to leave, but something near Duncan caught my eyes. Niko laid down nearby. With a smile I walked over to him, his eyes perked up as I neared. He gave a happy bark seeing me.
"Hey, Niko." I petted him on the head, scratching his ears. He rolled onto his back, his stubbed tail wagging as he squirmed his great body like a pup.
"You're the first that has been able to go near him, other than to give him food." Duncan stated astonished as he moved closer. Niko jumped to his feet with a low warning growl, his sharp fangs showing, warning Duncan away.
"That's enough out of you." I reprimanded softly, hoping he would listen. He looked at me for a moment before laying back down with a snuffle. The Mabari was so much like his master, easy to anger, but until you had his trust then he remembered.
"He listens to you?" Duncan asked shocked.
"No, not really, he knows me." I mumbled, unsure how to explain this. I rose to my feet with a sigh giving the Mabari a last pat.
I was about to enter my tent before Duncan stopped me, "Loghain, Mikhail will be doing the ritual later tonight but before then you should be able to see him." He told me with knowing eyes. I swiftly looked away from him, not sure what to answer to that.
With memories and thoughts that I shouldn't be having anymore, I poured myself a mug of ale to forget. To forget a past that haunted me. To forget the good times I had with him and the one time that I still regret the most, but most of all was to forget, Mikhail…if possible.