The Joker strode over to one of the largest chairs in the room and made himself comfortable as familiar faces filed into the room and sat down around the table.
First Edward pulled up a chair beside Sophie and Victor pulled his one closer to the table.
Matthew took his feet off the table as Harley came rushing into the room, followed swiftly by a woman with red hair and a slightly green tinge to her skin, she was Pamela Isely.
"Hey puddin'!" Harley threw herself at Joker, he caught her in a hug and Pamela rolled her eyes.
"Hello pooh, come and sit next to me!" he grinned, tapping the seat to his right.
Harley jumped into the seat obediently before Pamela groaned and went to sit between her and Edward. "You have honestly got to stop being his pet Harl." Pamela whispered into Harley's ear, just loud enough so Joker could here.
He scowled at her before turning to grin as Ally walked into the room. Bane followed in after her beside Harvey, who kept flicking his coin.
Bane sat and Ally sat beside her new friend, creating a two seat gap between her a Matthew.
The next man to walk in was short, fat and looked like a penguin. This man was, of coarse, Oswald Cobblepot. And behind him came the unmistakable tall and scaley Waylon Jones, known to everyone as Killer Croc or just Croc. Oswald took the spare seat beside Victor who was sitting next to Joker, Croc simply pulled up a chair next to Harvey.
Now there were only four chairs left at the table, the owners of these chairs marched silently through the door. Jonathan Crane's face was set in a scowl, Jervis' in a worried expression and as for Victoria and Briar, well there faces were extremely flushed as they gripped their mugs of stolen beverages in their hands.
The Joker watched them as they took their seats before he began talking. "Alright so I think it's about time we set things straight…"
"Were have you two been?" Ally whispered as Joker went on talking obliviously.
"It is such a long story," Briar replied her eyes flickering surreptitiously towards the two men who sat opposite, lingering in the skinny one she favoured.
"Too long," Victoria concluded. "But did you see their asses when we were walking along? I mean damn!"
"I know!" Briar grinned. "I do not believe I have seen a finer ass."
Joker's cough broke into their conversation, "Do you want to tell us what is so important you must whisper about it?" He raised a suggestive eyebrow.
"Should we tell them?" Victoria asked Briar, her voice was no longer a whisper as the people around the table turned to look at them.
Briar shrugged after a moments pause, "What have we got to loose?"
"Let's see…your dignity, pride and self-respect perhaps?" Ally answered Briar's question quickly.
"Honey we lost all that in the kitchen," Victoria snickered and turned to speak openly to the table. "In all honesty we were just talking about how Jonathan and Jervis have really nice asses." She kept a straight face until the stares of the rouges became too much and she burst out into a fit of giggles and Briar started laughing into their shoulder.
When their laughing finally died down Joker restarted his speech with a final look at Briar and Victoria. "Yes so as I was saying, we have some little helpers for our grand scheme. Would you like to introduce yourself kids?"
A sharp elbow poked Victoria in the ribs. "Well go on!" Briar whispered to her, nodding towards the rest of the people.
"Why me?" Victoria's eyes were wide as she looked at her friends, pleadingly.
They did nothing to argue with Briar's choice of who was to speak for them.
"You seem most capable of speaking today," Briar explained.
"Oh right I see," She glared at Briar before standing to address the table. "My name is Victoria and these are my friends, Ally, Briar, Matthew and Sophie." Victoria pointed to each of her friends in turn. "And we're from um…out of town. Way out of town." She grinned sheepishly brushing her hair out of her eye.
"And how far out of town did you say you were earlier?" Joker pressed.
"Well we come from um… another dimension." Victoria looked away from the eyes of the rouges staring at her.
"That's impossible!" Edward exclaimed from his seat.
"Look trust me," Victoria turned to Edward. "I don't know how it is possible it just happened, and it's all because of a spoon."
Edward arched a quizzical eyebrow, "A spoon?"
Victoria removed Mister Sebastian Wetherspoon from her pocket and showed it to the rest of the people at the table. "I bought it for a fiver at St. George's market, we did know how it was magic but whenever we were discussing the existence of Gotham City I said, "We will go to Gotham City." And we found ourselves in an alley near the mall."
"That's completely impossible!" Scoffed Edward leaning back in his seat, arms crossed.
"And what did you mean 'the existence of Gotham City'." Pamela shifted in her seat, obviously confused.
"Yeah!" Harley chirruped beside her. "I mean of coarse it exists! It always has!"
"To you guys yeah it has but where we come for well…" Victoria trailed off. "It's hard to explain and I don't know where to begin."
"Begin at the beginning and go on till you come to the end: then stop," Jervis quoted.
"Ah yes frabjous idea," she dared a blushing grin at Jervis and to her surprise he smiled back making her blush strengthen. "But you see the problem is there are many beginnings, I suppose we could begin with my beginning to this tale, but then again perhaps it would be better to say the general beginning." She stroked her chin in thought.
"Would you just say the damn story?" Harvey suddenly shouted, thumping his fist on the table.
"Well I suppose I could begin with the general beginning and end with my beginning…" she turned to her friends. "Did that make sense?"
"Well…" Matthew shook his head.
"But I'm surprised with you my insane squiggle." Smiled Briar.
"Please Kitty, we're all mad here." Victoria laughed. "But yes so in our world, you are all comic book characters. Even the dumbass Batman." She looked around as a murmur of disbelieve sounded through the rouges. "We come from a world without vigilantes, and you all exist in comic books, video games and movies. People dress up like you for Halloween, I can kind of admit to that. Other people write stories about you guys, they're called fanfictions, again I can admit to that…" She rubbed the back of her neck. "I found out about Gotham City through a video game my brother bought, called Batman: Arkham Asylum, where." She stopped suddenly and turned to Briar for quick advice. "Should I tell them what happens?"
Briar nodded, "I don't see why not, it might actually never happen."
"Well it's where Joker takes over the Asylum and you have to play as Batman to stop him, and from there I got addicted. I watched all the old cartoons and started going to the comic book store every weekend, eventually I roped these guys in, and I think that is pretty much it…" she looked around the table, every one was staring at her.
"Completely impossible!" Edward exclaimed again.
"Now, now," Jervis tried to calm the table. "Let us not dismiss the possibility of some one else's life and especially one that seems to be through the looking glass. My dear you say you are a fan, and you seem to know Jonathan and I very well. It is obvious that you do not come from Gotham City, as you do not seem afraid of any of us, except Jonathan, and it is clear from your accent you are not American, is that correct?"
Victoria nodded, "That is true, we're from Northern Ireland, we're British. Well Briar's kind of Dutch but she's lived in Northern Ireland for most of her life."
"I see," Jervis smiled. "Well to prove that you are in fact from another world why don't you go around the table and tell us what you know about each of us."
"I think that would be a good idea, is every one ok with that?" Victoria looked around them.
As she looked around the table they nodded.
"Alright then!" Victoria clapped her hands excitedly and grinned at her friends. "Though I may sound like some crazy stalker or hit a few nerves, so sorry in advance."
She moved away from her seat and began to walk towards Edward. "Your real name isn't Edward Nigma but is in fact Edward Nashton." She stood beside him and looked at him. "You were abused by your father as a child, when you completed something because of you high intellect he thought you a cheater and beat you." She stroked his head and smiled before walking on to Pamela. "Pamela Lillian Isely, you worked with Jason Woodrue who was also a plant/human hybrid, like your self. He made you into what you are today when he pushed you into the chemicals that you were using to make animal/plant hybrids that they could stand up for themselves, after you found out that he was making super humans and selling them to other countries to use as weapons."
"How did you…?" Pamela stared up at Victoria with wide eyed shock.
Victoria smiled and walked on and stood beside Harley. "Doctor Harleen Quinzel, I don't know anyone who doesn't know your story, well except the people who don't know you and I have to tell them you're The Joker's girlfriend." Harley squeaked gleefully at being described as his girlfriend. "However no matter how much you love him and care for him your brutish beau will sometimes loose his temper and it is at that time you will turn to the care of Pamela your closest friend. I recall how in your first therapy session with Joker he did in fact drop his trousers as he described his relationship with his father who apparently beat him; I also know you're not a real blonde." Victoria was becoming more confident as she continued on to Joker.
"At risk of inflating your already incredibly large ego, no offence of coarse, everybody I know in my world knows you. With you there are way too many stories so I'll just say a few details, aliases you use are Jack Napier or Jack White. You used to be a hit man for the mob but you went solo as the villain Red Hood. So one day you went into this chemical plant to collect the pay roll, the flying rodent showed up and knocked you into a vat of chemicals, or maybe you just fell, nevertheless it changed you for life and you swore to hunt down Batman and kill him."
"This girl knows her stuff!" Joker laughed. "Go on! Oh I wanna know what you know about Jonny and Jervis! Do them do them!" he begged childishly.
"Oh gladly," Victoria snickered and Briar, still in her seat burst out laughing. "But first," she quickly walked past Victor and Oswald and pointed at them as she went along. "Wife called Nora and froze her to find a cure for her terminal illness. Raised in an aviary owned by your mother, she always made you carry an umbrella because your father died of pneumonia after being caught in a rain storm." Both men stared at her as she walked over to a discarded chair in the corner and pulled it in between Jervis and Jonathan. "This may take some time." She explained noticing the looks she was getting from everyone.
Victoria turned to "OK let's see, begin at the beginning, begin at the beginning. You were born in Georgia to a mother and grandmother who didn't want you, they did not even name you. Your great grandmother raised you and named you Jonathan, Jonathan Keeny, which was your mother's maiden name. Your great grandmother never loved you and you thought her quite mad. You had such a lonely childhood, working for her in the corn field. Even as a child you were called Scarecrow, because of your ragged clothes and because you were, and still are, extremely thin. To punish you your great grandmother in her…damn what was it?"
"Oh it was her grandmother's chapel and he grandfather's aviary Squiggle." Briar reminded her.
"Ah yes! That was it, thank you Kitty. Oh, and one more important fact that absolutely no one in this world knows," Victoria continued as everyone around the table leaned in to listen. "Though fortunately I like you and I know you don't want anyone else to know this so, come here." She leaned in a whispered into his ear. "You worst fear is crows."
Jonathan's mouth dropped open and his eyes were wide. "Who told you that?" he breathed.
She leaned back and smiled softly, "I know it because I come from a world where you and everyone in this room, aside from the five of us, where invented from someone's imagination. Need I go on?" She asked the table.
"Yes dammit!" Joker giggled. "I want to know about Jervis."
"Joker I think that is terribly cruel of you because I know you just want to black mail them later and as I said before I like Jervis. Not that I don't like Edward or Pamela but I like him the most."
"Damn you for having morals!" Joker pointed an accusing finger at her, but still had a large smile on his face.
"I'll only say it if Jervis doesn't mind." Victoria smiled and turned to Jervis, looking for an answer.
"I won't mind my dear, as long you do not say anything that he could use against me." Jervis replied sweetly.
Victoria coughed, a smile on her face as she struggled desperately to contain her inner fangirl, "Alright. Hmm… you worked at Wayne Enterprises and that is where you secretly developed your mind control devices which you know use in your crimes. Your first test subjects were mice whom you trained to make you tea and on the wall of you lab there was a framed poster of the Mad Hatter's tea party, I do believe it looked like the original illustration from the book, yes?"
Jervis smiled broadly and nodded, "Quite right my dear and I have never told any one about those things and no could have ever found out about the mice, so what she is saying must be true."
"Thank you." Victoria stood and returned to her seat on the other side of the table, giving a short bow before she sat.
"Nice performance," Matthew complemented her in her ear, Sophie nodded in agreement.
"Yes so if we could finally get back to the point at hand!" Joker tried again to talk about what they were all here for. "I have personally employed these children to help us with our heist, as you know a lot of work will be going into this. I suggest we spilt into teams of three, two of us and then one of them." He pointed to the children. "Agreed?"
The rouges nodded. "That seems like a good enough plan," Harvey grunted from the other end of the table.
"Alright so lemme see… how about this Tori, if I match up the rouges in twos, you assign them a kid." Joker suggested.
Victoria looked at her friends, they nodded.
"You will match us up with the ones we want to go with." Sophie grinned quietly.
"That sound like a plan!" Victoria agreed to Joker's idea.
"OK so, Harley and I?" he started the list wrapping an arm around the young woman to his right.
"That would be me," Victoria grinned.
"Pammy and Bane?"
"What? Me and Bane!" Pamela objected but she was ignored as Victoria continued, seemingly oblivious.
"Ally, you wouldn't mind would you?" Victoria looked to Ally.
She shook her head.
"Dent and Cobblepot?"
"Matthew." She patted Matthew's head as he sat there grinning.
"Eddie and Vic?"
"Sophie." Victoria smiled down to the already blushing Sophie.
"That leaves only Briar left, so I guess you can go with Jervis and Jonathan." Joker finished.
Victoria turned to Briar, who was broadly grinning. "You lucky bitch!" Victoria laughed.
"Ok next on the agenda, you kids are going to get known by the press so you're going to need aliases. Tori?" Again Joker turned to who seemed to be spokes person for the children.
"You guys don't mind do you?" Victoria asked her friends. "I kinda already have some ideas running through my head, and they all have reason."
Sophie gave her the thumbs up, Matthew nodded, Briar's grinned broadened (if that was possible) and Ally nodded, "Only if you tell us the reasons though."
"Alright," Victoria sat up straight in her chair. "Sophie: You could be 'Dilemma' because, 1. It's another name for a question or riddle. 2. It somehow reminds me of the name Nora, no idea how though. And 3. you seem to be in a dilemma most of the time. Sound good?"
Sophie grinned, "Yeah I like that. Sounds kind of mysterious too, 'The Dilemma'!"
"Me next!" Matthew grinned, eager to get a new name.
"You shall be Du!" She smiled happily. "1. It is how you pronounce the Korean word for two. 2. Harvey. 3. It reminds me of a bird."
Matthew smiled, content with his alias.
"Now for my darling Ally," Victoria turned to her. "You shall be call La Espina. The reasons being 1. If my knowledge of Spanish serves me right then that means The Thorn…am I right?" Victoria looked up to Bane.
"Sí señorita," he answered, nodding his head. "That is correct."
"Great! 2. You find thorns on plants! And 3. You can um… have a thorny personality and I love you for it." Victoria slightly regretting saying that and moved swiftly on to Briar. "You my dear Kitty shall be call The Cheshire Cat. 1. Because you are just that my Kitty. 2. It involves Alice in Wonderland. 3. That cat's grin kinda sends chills down my spine." Briar smiled at her new name. "And finally me, I shall be called The Jester. 1. You all say I'm funny and number 2 and number 3 I am working with two clowns." Victoria grinned proudly. "Sound good?"
"Yeppers!" Briar grinned, obviously ecstatic.
"I guess." Ally agreed and Matthew smiled and nodded.
"Good!" Joker smiled. "And can I just say that it's up to the rouges in the group to clothe the kids, unless of coarse, I'm guessing you have ideas for the outfits Tori?"
"How did you know?" Victoria winked at Joker.
"Good, but still I think we should discuss the plan." Joker reached the under the table and pulled out a bundle of papers and rolled it out across the table, the title clearly read: 'The Theft of Lady Liberty'
"No way," Matthew breathed.
Victoria's smile grew. "I know right?"
"This is going to be impossible," Ally sighed. The other four turned to look at her.
"After all that has happened today do I really need to say anything is possible?" Victoria raised her eyebrows and smirked.
"Shut up," Ally stuck out her tongue. "But you have to admit, in any world, shifting the Statue of Liberty would be hard work!"
"Ally had a point and it is going to be hard," Joker nodded grimly. "That's why we all need to shut up and listen to me!"
Suddenly Sophie yawned loudly, quickly followed by Matthew.
"Dammit Sophie," Victoria breathed in deeply and blinked, trying desperately not to yawn. "It isn't that late!"
Briar tapped her on the shoulder and directed her eyes up to the clock. "It's one in the morning."
"And?" Victoria turned round to Briar. "…Like I said not that late!" She finished with a yawn, her eyes watering.
"Victoria, perhaps it is time to reside for the night." Briar smiled softly, clearly trying to not yawn and ruin the moment.
"But I wanna know what happens!" Victoria whined like a three-year old child, gesturing to the papers on the table.
"We'll go through it quickly now," Joker grinned, he too was clearly tired…or perhaps stressed from having to deal with some certain children. "We'll go through it in more detail after we 'acquire' your outfits tomorrow. How does that sound?"
Briar nodded, smiling and Victoria huffed.
"So!" Joker yelled suddenly, clapping his hands together. "There are 5 teams, and Croc. Croccy will be needed here for heavy lifting and guard duty. We'll need a shrink ray, explosives, a big ass digging machine and a helicopter to make a good get away. Eddie how are the blue prints going for the shrinking ray coming?"
"Um…well," Edward looked down at his shoes and rubbed the back of his neck, a small bashful smile on his face. "They are still in the designing stages; I can't get all the components working in harmony." He twiddled thumbs his to illustrate 'working in harmony'.
"Eddie!" Joker groaned. "You're meant to be the genius here!"
"Wait," Victoria raised her hand for silence, she was becoming oddly confident around these lunatics. "Doesn't Wayne Enterprises have some kind of designs for odd inventions like that?"
"Yeah, I heard a rumour that they made stuff for Batman." Matthew confirmed with a nod. "If they have blueprints for Bat-explosive gel they must have something like that."
"Really?" Oswald looked intrigued as he spoke for the first time. "Interesting..."
Victoria cupped her hand over her mouth so that it almost covered it and whispered to Matthew, "I think that we started that rumour."
Briar mimicked what she was doing and spoke into Victoria's ear, "I think that just because you slightly cover your mouth, doesn't make it secret."
Victoria turned quickly and snapped her teeth shut into a grin in Briar's face. Briar promptly retaliated by a sly smirk and slowly stroking Victoria's hip making her victim scream and jump onto the table.
"Would you kindly stop doing that please?" Victoria squeaked in a meek wide eyed voice.
"Best friend rights." Briar held up her right hand and nudged Ally to do the same before they spoke in unison. "We solemnly swear to make our best friend as uncomfortable as possible at all times as long as it doesn't involve puppets of any nature, except Oscar." They grinned in unison.
"Why not puppets?" Jonathan raised a curious eyebrow.
"Oh I'm um… scared of them. They're my worst fear actually…" Victoria blushed and fiddled with a stray strand of hair on her face that had escaped the clutches of her Alice band.
"Also Tori, do you realise where you are sitting?" Ally cheekily grinned at her blushing friend.
Victoria looked around her newly acquired 'seat' on top of the table as her senses came flooding back. Her eyes widened as she realised how she was sitting in the middle of the table the blueprints to her left. "Well then…" Victoria rolled backwards off the table and landed in something oddly comfortable. Suddenly her blushing intensified dramatically as she looked up into the slightly blushing face of Jervis Tetch. "I…um…"
A chorus of stifled giggles sounded from the other side of the table.
"I…I'm sorry, I feel like a complete j…Jabberwock…" Victoria clambered off Jervis's lap, blushing red face in her hands.
"Th…that's alright my d…dear just so long as you were not um…hurt," Jervis mumbled suddenly distracted by the very interesting desk in front of him.
Victoria, once again, quickly made her way back to her seat and sat down in silence as her friends giggled at either side of her, making her sink down into her seat.
"OK how uncomfortable did that make you," sniggered Matthew quietly.
"Shut up," Victoria huffed and sank deeper into her seat.
"ANYWAY!" Joker yelled, trying to get back to the point at hand. "We will need to raid Wayne Enterprises, I'll make some funnily genius plan tonight while some of us," he stopped as looked over to Sophie and Matthew. "Sleep. So yes STEP 1!" He yelled again. "Infiltrate Wayne Enterprises and find these blueprints! Jervis! You used to work there, your group will take this one. And if you need any extra hands you could always take along Victoria…" Joker waggled his eyebrows in a suggestive manner before bursting into fits of giggles. Through laughing he spluttered out an order. "Pooh?" Harley was immediately at the clown's side. "Will you take," He laughed some more. "The…the girls to a spare room!"
"And what about Matty?" Harley smiled fondly at the adorable young boy.
"Oh!" Joker giggled. "I'll…I'll take care of him!"
"'Kay puddin'!" Harley chirruped happily and ushered the girls out the door, "Come on girls!"
"Wait!" Sophie stopped, suddenly brave as a good joke popped into her head. She grinned at Victoria. "Don't you want to say good bye to Jervis, Tori?"
Victoria looked at the ground and rushed out the door, face red. "You inconceivable little red haired devil!" She turned suddenly as the girls walked down the corridor. "I have been through enough embarrassment to day thanks to those two!" She pointed an accusing finger at Alex and Briar who grinned happily. "Without you joining in as well!" Victoria turned away from her friends with watery eyes.
"So um…" Pamela tried to strike up a conversation after following Harley out of the conversance room. "What's with you and The Hatter?"
Victoria coughed lightly before looking away from Pamela.
"She wants to screw him!" Ally answered for her.
Immediately Victoria spun around to defend herself, "I do not!" She yelled before her voice went quiet and she lightly blushed, a small smile on her face. "I just think he's kind of cute is all…"
"Aw!" Harley squeaked happily putting an arm around Victoria and hugging her. "You've got little crush on Jervis! Well that's how it starts." Harley sighed dreamily, reminiscing about her time as a doctor in Arkham Asylum.
"Yeah…" Victoria hugged Harley back and the rest of the women in the corridor looked at them as if they were one being with two heads and Victoria glared back at her friends with daggers in her eyes.
Sophie squeaked, clearly too frightened too speak.
"Yeah so…" Pamela cleared her throat, uncomfortable. "There is a room down this hall with four beds and there should be some bed clothes and clothes for tomorrow that will fit you."
"Here we are!" Harley smiled happily as she flung open a door and grinned down at the girls. "Pick your beds!"
The girls went in a promptly sat down on a bed each.
"There are clothes in the draws and…uh…" Pamela looked from the obviously pissed off Victoria, to the scared to no end Sophie and finally at the hyper looking Ally and Briar. "Try not to kill each other alright?"
The girls nodded briefly before Harley and Pamela exited the room.
"Well!" Ally grinned. "This is a great night. One friend who is completely pissed off and another who is scared to speak. What to do?"
"I think we should try and cheer them up!" Briar replied as the two girls looked at Victoria, sitting up on her bed looking as if she was ready to fight the world. Ally and Briar looked back at each other and shared a small sly grin before they got off the bed and started to advice upon Victoria.
"What…what are you two doing?" Victoria looked up suspiciously for a moment, a small flicker of a smile on her face. "Don't come any closer! I'm warning you!" She jumped up and armed her self with a pillow as her elder friend lunged at her, fingers out stretched like talons and began to tickle her relentlessly.
They banged harshly to the ground as the three girls slipped off Victoria's bed. Sophie sat up on her own bed and began absentmindedly swaying from side to side as Ally and Briar giggles and Victoria shrieked with laughter, only two things were going through her tired mind. 1. Are those two torturing her? And 2. What was Matthew doing?
As it turns out Matthew had stayed up a little later than the girls with the rest of the male rouges as they tortured Jervis relentlessly about him liking a girl so much younger than himself. All the time a devious, psychotic smile was all over his puppy dog face.