IT'S BEEN UPLOADED! I FINALLY DID IT! It's right now 00:27 on a newly-turned Thursday. Simply know that I have reasons for not having posted this until now (I shan't make excuses) and don't expect the next chapter until AT LEAST Thanksgiving. Enjoy, you deserve a good chapter after all of your patience.
PS: Thank my girlfriend, btdubs. Had I not promised to her that I would have this posted by tonight, it would not have been done.
"Alright, we're live in five, four, three, two…" counted down Freddie.
"Hi, I'm Carly." yelled Carly into the microphone.
"And I'm Sam." continued Sam.
"And this is iCarly."
"Hey Carly," began Sam, sounding more genuinely enthused about the show.
"Yeah, Sam" recited Carly, hoping the difference was just in her head.
"Did you know that this week is International Nerd Pride Week?"
"Why yes, Sam. In fact, I even planned a…"
"SPECIAL iCARLY EPISODE!" the two girls screamed in unison into the camera while Freddie typed the words onto his computer to make them appear on the screen.
"So Carls, what did you have planned?" asked Sam.
"Well, I was thinking 'What if we had a contest to see who was iCarly's biggest nerd?'"
"Fredward would win," commented Sam into the camera lens.
"Ha-ha," retorted Freddie after he turned the camera to himself.
Wow, is it just me, or does their banter sound a lot like…thought Carly. No, bad Carly! Don't think those things!
"Well," continued Carly, hoping her inner monologue didn't affect her delivery, "Freddie isn't a contestant, but we do have three great ones. Aaaannd heeerree they are!"
Three teens, two boys, one Indian and one African-American, and a white, blonde girl, all three dressed in grayish, brownish, greenish, button-downed shirts with neon-colored backpacks that had their initials sewn onto them, suspenders whose black straps were clearly visible against their vomit-colored shirts, carbon dated shoes, and glasses with thick, obvious, and repeatedly taped lenses, entered the room accompanied by cheers from Sam, Carly and the recorded crowd from Sam's remote.
"So," started Carly once the contestants had put themselves into a line, "Why don't our contestants introduce themselves? Just say your name and the nerdiest thing you can do."
"Hi, I'm Armin," the Indian boy introduced himself, "And I'm taking a college-level theoretical math course."
"I'm Marc," continued the other boy when Freddie focused the camera on him, "And I have been training to become a software technician since the summer going into eight grade."
"And I'm Sheila. I can name every regular on Buffy the Vampire Slayer in order of appearance."
"Now that our contestants have been introduced," yelled Carly once Freddie placed the camera's focus on her again, "They'll have to use their smarts to help us with an old-time favourite..."
Carly, Sam, and their three guests all shouted simultaneously "Messing With Lubert!"
"Bye guys," yelled Freddie as he bid the contestants.
"It's been great having you," added Carly. "Congrats again, Sheila."
Freddie closed the door to Carly and Spencer's apartment, commenting, "Great show tonight, guys."
"Yeah," agreed Sam, "I can't believe Armin thought of that."
"And did you see the look on Lubert's face?" the two laughed out simultaneously.
"So Carly, you up for a trip to the Groovy Smoothie?" asked Spencer once Sam and Freddie's laughter quieted.
"No, I don't think I could take anymore of their..." Foreplay! screamed Carly's mind almost before it caught itself. No, Sam and Freddie are not doing foreplay! Bad Carly, don't think that ever, ever again!
"Their what?" asked Sam after Carly's silence.
"Ice," Carly replied defensively.
"Ice?" aked Freddie incredulously.
"Carly are you feeling okay?" asked Spencer with concer.
"Yes. No." Carly looked to see her brother and best friends look at her with worry. "I-I-I'm not feeling well. I'll go to bed now." She quickly began to run up the stairs to her room.
"D'you want me to make to make you some hot-"
"No! I'm fine." yelled Carly downstairs.
"Well d'you want me to stay home in case you need some-"
"No. Go with Sam and Freddie. Right now. I'll be fine."
"You sure Carly?" yelled Freddie.
"Yes," she replied. "Just go; have a good time."
"Okay, but we'll bve back soon," concluded Spencer. "Call me if-"
"Will do. Bye."
Carly looked around her. It was neither dark nor light, yet somehow both. She turned around in circles to see blank flatness on all sides. On her fourth spin, she was greeted with the vision of a bedroom. It was not unlike her room in terms of furniture placement, but the furniture itself reflected both a Victorian era and large abundance of purple: the wallpaper sported fuchsia hyancinths; the carpet was a deep plum; on the amythest couches were cobwebs of lilac lace; and a on a rich, royal-purple bed with thin, lavender shades were two all-too-familiar figures, in little clothing, who seemed to try to be making fire by rubbing their bodies against each other.
"Freddie? Sam?" called out Carly in incredulous disbelief.
The two broke their connecting tongues for a moment to give her a quick glance; they seemed to be expecting her. "Carly," Sam greeted her, after which Freddie began eating her neck.
"What are you two doing here...together?" asked Carly.
"We're here to make something abundantly clear because you have not gotten it yet."
"And what exactly have I not gotten?" asked Carly, feeling stupid.
"That we're no going away until you do something about it," answered Freddie patiently as Sam's tongue began working its way down his chest.
"'We' who?" Carly was beginning to become vexed.
"Your fantasies."
"What do I do about them?" the now-intrigued Carly questioned.
"Get us out of your system," replied Sam. "You know how."
"Fanfiction," responded Carly, finally understanding.
"Yeah," answered Freddie. "Now go. I'd get moving on this quickly if I were you and wanted these gone. Also, we're kinda busy." With a turn of his head, he indicated Sam, who was engrossed on her newest project: his nipple.
Carly bolted out of her bed like her heart had just been restarted. She leapt out of it and ran quietly downstairs, stopping only to look at her alarm clock, which read 1:17.
Good, Spencer's asleep, she thought.
When she reached the computer, she hesitated for a moment. How much do I need to get it out of my system? She pondered how many fantasies she had had over the last two weeks and of what they typically consisted. No. No, I can't write Sam and Freddie doing that.
It's what it will take, replied Dream-Freddie in some sleepy corner of her mind.
Carly sighed. "Twincestual fanfiction it is," she muttered as she titled the venture.
Reviews, pretty please. Also, if there is any confusion, ESPECIALLY because the next chapter starts Carly's fanfiction within the fanfiction, feel free to ask me about it; I really would be happy that you felt it worth your time to ask. Again: vos amo.