Hmmph…finally got around to updating. Sorry. I've been very bust lately, and I have a double-championship swim meet next weekend, so don't expect an update TOO soon. Gah…so tired. I hope this will quench your suspence/boredom.

Disclaimer: Hell no, I seriously wish I did, though

REWRITTEN/EDITED

- Where Tear Drops Fall -

-3-

It was lunchtime and we were all sitting quietly on our long plastic table.

The room seemed so quiet; there wasn't the usual hum of conversation going about the cafeteria. I lifted my head that was hovering above my plate and looked around. It was true; almost no one was talking. I guess change of the month was just so tiring…

I never really thought about it…but I missed the way real silverware sounded on actual plates. It's amazing how much you miss something you never really though you took for granted. Like knives.

Quietness lingered on; most were desperate for conversation.

Tidus cleared his throat, and most of the table looked at him expectantly. But the boy just blew out a breath and lightly tapped a fist at his chest. He was just a victim of a common case of heartburn. I could almost sense the inward sighs of disappointment as they turned their heads towards their plates again to focus on their food.

I set down my utensils on my unfinished plate of food and stared at it grudgingly. Spaghetti and meatballs, how I loath them.

Here at the center, most of the food was starchy and carbohydrate based. Obviously for those who have eating disorders.

I looked over at Naminé, who was just staring at her plate in disgust, wrinkling her face and grinding her teeth. And then at Aerith, who was slowly eating piecemeal. Roxas was next to her, observing her, making sure she was eating.

My amethystic eyes flicked back to my plate. They lingered on the deformed spheres of meat, to the overly liquefied dark-red pasta sauce, until they set on the cheap plastic knife that was to the side of the plate. Unused. Clean. I became curious. My mind started to bubble. What if…?

I pretended to knock the plate against it, so the knife skidded closer to the edge of the table. I quickly glanced around. No one paid attention. A bead of sweat formed on my forehead from sheer concentration and stealth. I lay my hand over the pathetic piece of plastic, and carefully slid it over so it fell onto my lap.

I tried to not look suspicious, so I stared at my plate as I fumbled with the knife in my hands, thinking of where I was going to hide it. I carefully hid it into my pant's pocket, and I tugged at the hem of my long sleeved, cotton shirt to pull it over the pocket area. I then stood up, grabbed my plate, and walked towards the wastebasket.

I passed by my table again to reach the exit, and I heard them softly mumbling to each other.

"Why did she leave so quickly? It's only twenty minutes into lunch." I could barely hear Sora ask under his breath. Axel rolled his eyes. I slowed my pace.

"She's weird, leave her alone."

I was glad that tiny conversation was only between him and Sora; because I didn't want Roxas to hear them. I was afraid he might start something.

I walked on, blankly, barely remembering what had just happened. I was focused, I was stealth. The door guard quickly inspected me with her eyes, nodded her head, and let me pass. I let out a breath. I continued down the empty hall, tracing my tender fingertips against the rough walls as I walked close to them. I passed by the main desk towards the central closet, where all of the coats were hung up.

I quickly grabbed mine, pulled it on, and headed towards the back entrance.

The harsh wind stung my face as I stepped outside. I looked around the area. Dead. It was winter, the trees were bare, and the ground was covered in a thick blanket of snow. The last remains of the faraway autumn were covered and hidden from view. The sky, a dull gray, did not contain even a trace of sunlight to light up the crystal snowflakes. This was a barren landscape. It was no sugary winter. It was bitter.

The icy snow crunched beneath my Converse sneakers as I stepped through the snow toward the ghost town playground.

They used to treat younger abused kids years ago, Selphie told me, and they still haven't gotten rid of the playground. I didn't really care, though. It was one of the limited things I liked here. It was a little escape from the jailish rehab that I have called my home for three months, fourteen days, and sixteen hours.

No wait…eighteen hours.

I reached the swing set, where I always sat. There were three swings, but on one them, the chain was snapped, leaving the seat to dangle and collect snow on the frigid ground.

I sat down on one of them as the tips of my shoes pushed me a long to a steady, pacing rhythm.

The cold, dry breeze and the soft creak of the old swing were the only thing heard for miles. It was so quiet, and for a while, or whenever I came here (everyday), I was the only person on earth; I was free.

It was empty. And it affected me so deeply.

I gingerly reached into my pocket, and felt around for the smooth surface of the knife. I pulled it out, and set it on my wan hands.

I stared at it for a long while, just feeling the plastic surface on my fingertips. My thumb ran along the edge of the knife carelessly. I looked at it. Barely a mark.

Was I going insane? So insane that I was resorting to a plastic knife? And not even. A reduced plastic knife; one that didn't even have the jagged edges. That I actually thought that somehow it would draw the slightest bit of blood? Sudden fury struck me.

Was I that desperate? Desperateness was a sign of weakness. I was not weak.

I shook my head, stood up, and chucked the plastic knife as hard as I could away from me in anger. My teeth were grinded and I kicked the snow ruthlessly. The snowy bits splattered onto the still play set, and slowly slid down the plastic until it reached its source; leaving a wet, moist path behind them.

I felt like screaming, to hear some kind of echo, some kind of reassurance that I was real.

With exaggerated force, I sat back down on the cold seat. I puffed out a breath.

Was it even worth it?

I clenched my eyes closed, and began to rattle the metal chains of the swing with all the left over strength I had. I shook until my arms were as numb as the landscape around me. The snow that resided between the interlocking links of the rusted chain scattered, and fell on the ground or on me. I stopped, finally, and leaned over so my forehead rested on my lap, trying to even out my breaths. I was crazy.

No. I was addicted.

The dry, cold air nibbled at the tips of my toes and fingers; a sign to go in. I slowly rose from the seat, and walked away with my hands in my pockets. My head lowered and I hugged my coat closer to my small, helpless body.

Life wasn't too hot right about now.

My eyes grew stiff, and my lips curved into an unpleasant straight line as I entered the warm building. I hung my coat back up in the closet and slowly walked down the hall again. At least this time I had a whole day ahead of me.

I was back in my room, Naminé was there too.

I was lying on my bed, back flat. I stared at the ceiling blankly, thinking about the knife and the cold winter day. But my deep thoughts were interrupted.

"So Kairi, what do you think the movie will be tonight?" Naminé asked conversationally as she folded some of her used clothes and threw them in the hamper.

I rolled my eyes. Our table was on one single topic the entire dinner hour: the movie showing. The Center would host a movie the first and last night of each month as a welcoming or farewell for those who were leaving or joining. It was required to be a Disney movie, or some other movie that did not promote violence, drugs, alcohol; the works. It was always supposed to be a big 'surprise', to build up suspense and excitement throughout the Center. But a lot of people, like me, didn't give a shit. But others, like my Therapy group, discussed it constantly, ranting on and on on how excited they were for the movie that night.

What made it worse was Sora, who asked so many questions, that it only fueled everyone's need to converse on such a trivial subject.

The only thing I liked about Movie Night was that I could get lost in it and forget about everything.

My mind snapped back to the feeble conversation. I shrugged my shoulders.

"Well… I just hope we don't see the Lion King again…we've seen that two times already." Naminé continued. She looked at the room's clock. "Oh! Come on Kairi, grab your blanket, we have to go!" she rushed. I nodded my head, grabbed some random blanket, and walked out of the room behind Naminé.

Wearing our required PJ's, we walked into the cafeteria. We were late, of course, and most of the benches that were lined up in front of the tapestry and projector were filled. We saw someone waving at us.

"Naminé! Kairi! Over here!"

We walked to where the person was, and there was our Therapy group, all packed into one bench.

"Hehe… well, we're sorta' squished. But there's one right next to me, and one over there." Selphie explained. We both looked over where she sad there was a space. It was between Sora and Roxas. Naminé sat down next to Selphie faster than my eyes could travel. She gave me an apologetic look, and shrugged her shoulders. I had a feeling she was scared of Roxas.

I narrowed at my eyes at her, and jostled through the path until I got to my space. I sat down and slid low in the bench with my arms crossed in front of me, my blanket somewhere caught inbetween them.

"Hey Kairi." Sora greeted, smiled flawlessly, and then nudged my side. I felt my face heat up. Roxas just did his signature nod, where he jerked his head up as if he was saying: 'hey'. I didn't say anything, of course.

Excited conversations filled the room as the owner walked up in front of the tapestry.

"Hello students! Welcome to our first movie screening of the month of January. I hope you all are comfortable and excited, because this is a classic!" the woman welcomed. She had a cheap, fake smile plastered on her face. If I had to do this twice every month, I would probably be the same.

I felt Sora lean closer to my ear. "Why does she call us 'students'?" he asked, squinting his oceanic eyes quizzically. I jumped.

"Because they think that if they call us students, it would somehow trick us into thinking we aren't at a psycho rehab." Roxas answered for me, not even bothering to look at him.

"…Oh." Sora responded. He leaned back to his original position. I looked at him. He was a wearing a clean Hanes shirt and some plaid, soft pajama pants. It looked good. It looked really good. I could see an outline of stomach muscles and toned chest through his top. My face heated up again as I realized I was staring.

I looked away, but too late, he noticed. Damn. Too slow.

He smiled. "I like your pants."

I stayed still, but I found my head automatically drop to my pants. I was rushed with embarrassment. They were red with pink hearts and moogles. But I shrugged. And he laughed. And I blushed again.

I blinked.

What the hell was wrong with me?

I let out a frustrated puff of breath, cracked my head the side, and looked straight ahead sternly. I had to pull myself together.

It was Riku. Yeah…that's it.

Damn him.

The woman finally stopped giving her overly used speech. A few people clapped. Most just sighed in relief. The room grew dark, and the janitor, Cid, turned on the projector. The movie started, and we all began to realize what movie it exactly was: The Notebook. The Notebook? Well that's no Disney movie.

Ugh…gag me with a spoon.

There were squeals of delights from various females in the room and deep, depressing groans from most guys. This was going to be a long night…I knew it. I slid lower on the bench.

We all were still watching the movie, and romance came on full power. A few girls, like Selphie, 'awed' and put their hands to their hearts hopefully. I rolled my eyes, and continued to watch. I tried to stay as calm as possible. But as they began to kiss, and the romantic, orchestrated music meshed with the love scene, I found my self fidgeting in place uncomfortably.

I felt extremely awkward, like Sora and everyone else in the room was watching me, looking for some kind of change of expression. I felt closed in.

I took a risk. I briefly looked to the side at Sora. Curiosity struck me; I couldn't help it. The grays and blues mixed together and cast a brilliant light on his face, dying his chocolate locks indigo, and shining in harmony with his eyes. I looked away, but I didn't really want to.

He didn't seem embarrassed or awkward, like I knew Roxas probably did. (I could feel it; he was also shifting his weight from side to side self-consciously.) He was serene, yet still blankly looking at the screen, waiting for the next thing to happen.

The movie turned grim. Heart wrenching. Tearjerker. Whatever you wanted to call it. Something tugged at my heart, I had to admit, and I wanted to cry terribly. To let it all out. It was the perfect excuse, right?

But I knew better than that.

I cast my gaze to the side, and realized that Aerith was grasping onto Roxas' arms tightly, tears brimming her eyes. Roxas look uncomfortable, but he soothed her the best way he could. From the corner of my eye, I saw Aerith's hand slip into his.

I looked away. I felt like I was intruding.

I flashed my eyes back to the screen, only to realize the two characters were in the middle of the most passionate kiss in the movie while raining. I swallowed hard, and my heart bumped uncomfortably against the side of my lung.

In my uncomfortable-ness, I unfolded, and re-folded my arms, and then cleared my throat quietly. My arms felt like they were going to fall asleep from staying in place for more than an hour, so I finally released them, and let them fall to the side. I felt someone else's hand occupy that spot.

Bad move, Kairi.

I hastily pulled my hand away, and tangled my arms back together across my chest, tighter and tenser than before. I didn't dare look at the owner of the hand. I shrunk lower in my seat.

The movie soon ended, and lights turned on. I looked around.

Basically all of the girls were crying with puffy-red eyes and hanging onto the guy next to them. My heart bumped again.

I wondered…what if I had cried? I swallowed.

Would I be latched onto Sora's arm?

I quickly whipped that thought away as I bustled through the crowd. I finally found an 'air patch', and broke free from the other 'students'. I walked down the hallway that led to the next one where my dorm was, but someone jogged up behind me.

"How did you like the movie?" I jumped, tripped, and soon found myself on the hard tile ground. Gee, I must have slipped. I put my hand on my head as I lay sprawled on the floor and looked up. There was Sora, leaning over me with a worried expression.

"Kairi, I'm so sorry! Are you alright?" he asked as he stuck his hand out as a bolster to get up. I narrowed my eyes at the boy, and picked myself up. I swayed from side-to-side on my jelly-like knees until I gained my composure and stood straight.

"I'm so sorry! I didn't mean to scare you." Sora pleaded and explained. I kept walking, eyes straight in front of me. I finally reached my door and stopped. I reached for the knob, and then paused. I mustered up all of my fleeting energy.

"It's okay."

With that, I went inside and closed the door, with ought looking at him.

I wasn't really sure why I did it, but I just felt the need to say it. So I did.

I turned towards my bed, and there was Naminé, sitting on her bed with a raised eyebrow, hinting something.

"Hmm…alone in the hallway with the new boy…you're finally coming out of your shell, Kairi." She said, teasing me. "He's all yours." I stopped at my bed.

What the hell did that mean?

Yay…its finished. Umm…I've never really seen but it was the only thing in my head…so…yeah. Sorry if the timing's bad.

.shrugs.

well, Sora's still a little mystery of his own, Kairi's not talking, and things drag on. Haha. Well, TO ALL OF THE REVIEWERS WHO NEVER GOT A REPLY FROM ME...im very sorry, im so freaking busy, its not even funny. But each one, i love A LOT. So if I don't reply your reviews...im REALLY sorry! I try my best, I usually reply the earlier reviewers, but only because i usually have more time. Once again...I LOVE ALL OF YOUR REVIEWS, really, with ought them, i probably would have deleted this story by now. Haha...

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