A Bump in the Night
Chapter Three
"Bye. Enjoy the rest of your holiday," called Ianto.
"Yeah, have a great time." Jack hugged and kissed Sue, having done the same for her friends, and then stepped back. "Don't do anything I wouldn't do."
Sue took her seat and all three of the girls called out, "Bye!" They waved until the minibus disappeared down the drive leaving Ianto and Jack standing in front of their hotel.
"They were really nice," said Jack, hefting his rucksack and putting one strap over his right shoulder. "And Pete organised us almost as well as you could." He grinned and put his free arm round Ianto's shoulders, planting a kiss on his nearest cheek.
"So you don't mind I made you climb the mountain?" The Welshman narrowed his eyes and looked slantwise out of the corners at Jack. He would remember being chased around the summit of Snowdon and finally caught and tickled mercilessly for some time to come.
"That's a hard one, have to think about it." Jack continued to grin, taking a few steps towards the hotel entrance and pulling Ianto with him. "But now I need a shower and something to drink."
Ianto sniffed noisily. "We are a bit ripe. Think I'll soak in the tub, ease my leg muscles."
"I could do that for you." Jack eyebrows waggled up and down as he leered.
"Later." Ianto slipped out of Jack's grasp and walked into the hotel. No one was about – it was late afternoon and the other guests were still out - and he made straight for the stairs, groaning as the effort of climbing them pulled at sore muscles. "If I can get up the stairs. You may have to carry me."
"My pleasure."
Jack, whose body had already recovered from the day's exercise, rushed to help, grasping Ianto's hips and making to pick him up. With a little shriek, Ianto fought him off, forgot his aches and pains and hastened upstairs with Jack hot on his heels. They fell into their room and dumped the rucksacks, clomping noisily on the bare boards in their walking boots.
"No, Jack, leave me be." Ianto batted away Jack's hands and adopted his best 'not now' look. "I want a bath."
Jack flopped into an easy chair and sat with his legs stretched out in front of him, hands lightly clasped across his middle. "Off you go then. Don't be long."
Sitting on the bed to unlace his boots, Ianto asked, "What about your shower?"
"In a bit. Gonna make a cup of tea first."
"Tea?"
"Umm, fancy one." Jack leant forward to rummage through the refreshment tray finding a tea bag and brandishing it. "You?"
"No thanks. I'll wait."
He had both boots off now and placed them neatly by the wall before going into the bathroom and turning on the taps. A small bottle of bath gel stood on the side and he poured this in, sniffing the lemony aroma appreciatively. That would make him smell better. Back in the bedroom, he stripped off his clothes, left them on the bed to sort later and then went back to his bath. Jack watched this with unashamed interest, sighing when the naked Ianto disappeared into the bathroom. Easing off his own boots, Jack wiggled his toes and remained sitting for several minutes before taking the kettle to the bathroom to fill it with water for his tea. He caught Ianto in the process of getting into the bath and slapped his handy arse before it disappeared.
"Oy! Hands off." Ianto moaned with pleasure as he slipped beneath the warm water. "This is so good." He lay back and closed his eyes, arms resting on the side of the bath.
"Ianto Jones, you are seriously out of shape if a little canter up a mountain does this to you. Have to do something about that." Jack bent down and brushed his lips over Ianto's before leaving the room. Ianto did not move or open his eyes, too busy luxuriating.
Half an hour later Ianto was still in the bath. He had let out a little of the cooled water and added more hot to maintain the temperature so he could remain lying half submerged. His quiet contemplations were shattered by Jack who came into the bathroom, naked, and jumped into the shower, singing loudly about Casey Jones and the Cannonball Express and every other train-related song he could think of. Clearly he was not going to let Ianto forget about the train that ran up Snowdon. Rousing himself, Ianto reached for the soap and began to wash.
"Feel better now," announced Jack, standing beside the bath towelling himself dry. "You ever coming out of there?"
"Maybe."
"Or maybe you're so decrepit you can't get out on your own." Jack threw the towel on the floor and advanced on the helpless man. "Or you're waiting for this." Jack sat on the edge of the bath and ran a finger down Ianto's chest.
Ianto shivered. "Don't," he said, meaning the exact opposite.
"Let your fingers do the walking," sang Jack, using the index and middle fingers to 'walk' down Ianto's prone body. "Entering a forest," he said pompously as the fingers moved through chest hair. "Now entering a sunken area," came when he reached the belly button and paused for a moment. "The goal is coming closer," he went on as he moved ever lower under the water. "Getting near the flagpole … and the flag is flying!"
"You idiot." Ianto was giggling as he looked down the length of his body to check for himself what was happening down there. He gasped as Jack grabbed hold and squeezed, letting his head fall back again. The next few minutes were bliss as Jack worked his magic then, with no warning, Ianto felt a coldness brush against him and he sat upright, splashing water onto the floor and jerking Jack off balance forcing him to stand up or fall to the floor himself.
"What the heck?"
"I felt it. That … presence, whatever it is." Ianto was looking round but there was nothing in the room with them.
"This is bloody ridiculous!" stormed Jack, stomping out of the bathroom. He reached for his wrist strap which he had left on the bed – he always took it off to bathe – and flipped the cover open. He began pressing buttons.
"What are you doing?" asked Ianto from the bathroom door. He dripped water onto the tiles as he threw a towel on the bedroom floor and stood on it, using another towel to dry himself.
"I am sick and tired of being stopped from having you," Jack ground out. "I mean to find out what the hell is going on."
"But how will that gizmo help?"
"I don't know!"
"Jack, let's talk about this." Ianto shuffled forward on his towel and placed a hand to Jack's arm. "Please."
"Sod it!" Jack stopped his frantic tapping at the controls and took a deep breath.
"Thank you." Ianto flicked the towel over his shoulder and forgot about getting dry for a moment. "Now, what are you thinking?"
Jack took more deep breaths to calm himself. "You were fine earlier, in the car. It's only here that it happens, right?"
"So far but we haven't tried anywhere else."
"Knew we should have gone for it this afternoon." He grinned, delighted when Ianto blushed all over. As they had been coming down the side of Bwlch Cwm Llan, Jack had suggested they have a quickie behind a rock and not been particularly subtle about it. "Shall we go out in the garden?"
"No! Be sensible." Ianto busied himself putting the towel round his middle. "And let's put some clothes on, no need to search for whatever it is in the nude." As his feet were now dry, he picked up the towel from the floor and walked to the chest of drawers.
"What does it matter?"
"At least put on some underwear." He threw Jack a pair of boxers and found some for himself which he donned as soon as he finished drying. "Let's think this through logically."
"But it's not logical," retorted Jack now wearing the boxers. "Tell me again, what is it you feel? What makes you stop?"
Ianto, who had also put on jogging bottoms, sat on the bed and stared into space, trying to find the right words. "It's a coldness. Sometimes as if … as if something is brushing past me, other times like a cold shower. And it's as if there's someone watching." He looked over at Jack. "I can't describe it any better."
"And when does this happen?"
"When we're having sex!"
"No it's not, it's long before we get that far!" Jack sat on the end of the bed, turned to face Ianto. "You've been hard, right?"
"Yeah. I suppose … it's when I'm letting go. Giving in to the feeling."
Jack was on his feet again. "Someone has to be watching." He prowled round the room looking for hidden cameras or other signs of surveillance.
"That's make no sense whatsoever. What's the point? What does anyone gain? And," he added as the thought occurred to him, "why doesn't it affect you?"
Jack stopped dead and spun round to face Ianto again. "That's a very good question. Why doesn't it?" The two men stared at one another, neither able to come up with an answer.
-ooOoo-
At seven o'clock Jack and Ianto were sitting in the bar with drinks waiting for other guests to appear. Geraint and his wife, Mary, were bustling about making finishing touches in the restaurant and popping into the bar every now and again to check if more drinks were needed. Their next customers to arrive were Darren and Anne Moss who chatted to Mary as she poured their sherries.
"Tact, Jack, remember? I'll not have you blurting out what's going on." Ianto stared at Jack until the other man met his gaze. He was having grave doubts about the wisdom of trying to find out if other guests were experiencing the same difficulties as themselves. "Best behaviour."
"All right. Hey, you two, come and join us," he called to the Mosses indicating the small group of easy chairs around them. "Have a good day?"
"It was lovely, thanks," said Anne, dropping into a chair next to Ianto. She was a thin woman in her fifties who wore rather too much makeup and revealing dresses which accentuated the thinness of her arms and legs and her scraggy neck.
"Bloody expensive," grumbled her husband. He was older than Anne but had worn better, as men often do. His hair was greying at the temples and he was thicker round the waist than he should have been but overall he looked the country solicitor he was in their hometown of King's Lynn.
"Stop it, Darren, you know you don't mean it." Anne turned back to the others. "We went to Portmeirion and I got this fantastic coffee set. A real bargain. And some casseroles and dishes."
"They were not a bargain, Annie. We have plenty of cups and bowls already." He turned his pained expression on Jack who he thought looked sympathetic. "Women!"
"I know just how you feel. Still, I'm sure Anne will be grateful tonight." He winked suggestively.
Ianto rolled his eyes and looked heavenward. "Ignore him, please. So Portmeirion is worth a visit; I had it on my list of places to go."
"You must go," replied Anne ignoring Darren and Jack's schoolboy sniggering. "The houses and streets are so strange and the colours riotous but they all go together in an odd way."
"What about Caernarfon, is there much there?"
Ianto and Anne got into a discussion of this and other local places of interest so Jack accompanied Darren onto the terrace when the latter wanted to smoke, thinking he was more likely to turn the conversation in the direction he wanted if it was just the two of them. He was correct. In the next fifteen minutes, Jack heard enough about the couple's sex life – at home and on this holiday – to feel seriously hard done by. If they were having it away, why weren't he and Ianto? When Darren went off to the bathroom, a prostate problem that Jack had also been told all about, he went back into the bar for another drink. Seeing Ianto in the middle of a group of other guests, he didn't disturb him. Waiting at the bar for Geraint or Mary to return was a older man, well into his seventies, Jack had not met before who introduced himself as Dai Roberts, a local farmer who was treating his wife to dinner. They fell into conversation and when they had their drinks, Jack went with him to meet his wife, Blodwyn.
"You know," said Jack, "I've lived in Wales for quite some time and I never met a Blodwyn before tonight. Was getting to think I never would."
"It's not so common now," she said with a small smile and a twinkle in her blue eyes, "but when I was at school there were five in my class."
"And I bet you were the prettiest." Flirting came naturally to Jack but it was even easier with bent old ladies with white hair and perfect skin who smelt of lavender.
"I can vouch for that," put in Dai, at ease in a chair. "I was at that school with her."
"And that was around here?" asked Jack, settling down for a long chat.
It turned out that the couple had been born less than ten miles away on neighbouring farms within two weeks of each other – Dai was the elder – seventy six years earlier. They had attended the same village school which they'd left at the age of fourteen, Blodwyn to work in a shop at Caernarfon and Dai to work on the family farm. They'd courted for years and finally married when they were twenty three, living in a cottage on her father's farm. When both fathers had died, the farms had come together and Dai and Blodwyn had worked it until they got too old and neither of their boys wanted to take it on.
"We sold the land and the main farmhouse," said Dai without a trace of regret, "and kept the smaller one for ourselves. Our youngest wanted us to go to him but we like it here. It'll see us out."
"I couldn't live anywhere else now. Of course, this was a farmhouse," said Blodwyn.
"Was it?" Jack had become entranced by this old couple and their lives, recognising a togetherness and contentment with one other person that he would never know.
"Was a good farm. Ran a lot of sheep on the hills, it's got natural boundaries, see," said the old farmer. "But the daughter got into a bit of trouble and needed money so they sold up to raise it. Bloody stupid of them."
"Language, Dai!" admonished his wife.
"Sorry. They'd have got more money mortgaging the place and carrying on but there was no telling Ron."
"And so it became a hotel." Jack looked around, wondering at the transformation that had been made to create this comfortable hotel from a farmhouse.
"Not straightaway. The Masons tried to farm it for a while but they didn't know a cow from a sheep and they soon scarpered back to the city. It's been a hotel for about six years or thereabouts."
"Did you know it's haunted?" said Blodwyn leaning forward.
-ooOoo-
Over dinner, Jack related all he had learnt from Blodwyn and Dai, excited at this new information. He'd have liked the couple to eat with them so Ianto could hear it first hand but it hadn't seemed fair to impose on their evening out.
"It seems," said Jack, waving his butter knife, "that a couple of years ago guests reported encounters with what they thought was a ghost. A feeling of someone watching them and a chill to the room. All the usual stuff. The owners – the ones before Geraint and Mary – played it up a bit, thought it would add to the hotel's attractions, but people who did 'experience' the ghost left hurriedly which put others off."
"And you're thinking this has something to do with … our difficulty." Ianto spread pâté on his toast and then popped it in his mouth, chewing thoroughly.
"Sure. We're pretty open to stuff like this but other people aren't. No wonder it freaked them out when they were stopped from shagging." He took a large bite of his buttered roll.
"Lower your voice, Jack." Ianto was pleased the restaurant was almost full and other people were talking loudly. He didn't want his sex life – or lack of it – broadcast for all to hear. "I suppose it is a bit like what I experienced."
"Sounds just the same to me."
"The couple over there," Ianto indicated a table on the other side of the room, "are in number eight. The woman said she felt a presence last night."
"Did it stop them shagging?" Jack had finished his roll and soup and was peering at her with interest.
"Keep your voice down! I didn't ask outright, one can't, but I got the impression it might have."
"Darren and Anne have been at it like rabbits."
"So he says. I expect he exaggerates. That pâté was lovely."
"So was the soup. Any others say anything?"
"No. But where does this leave us? And we still haven't worked out why it doesn't go after you," pointed out Ianto.
"I've been thinking about that." He looked up as the waitress approached to remove the dirty crockery. "Thanks, that was great." When she was gone, he went on, "Ghosts don't exist so we can discount that for a start. It is not great-grandfather unable to pass over." He rolled his eyes. "If it was echoes of events and emotions from the past there'd be more feedback and we'd both feel it. Seeing as I'm immune," he grinned, "it has to be something that my superior nature can cope with."
"More likely you're too insensitive to feel it." He reached for the wine and topped up his glass. "Want some more?"
"Okay." Jack held out his glass. "And I'm as sensitive as the next guy."
"You? Where is you come from again? Cloud-cuckoo-land?"
"I'm hurt." Jack sipped his wine and tried to look offended.
Ianto was unrepentant. "Of course you are. Whatever the reason, you don't feel this presence. Does that give you any better idea of what it is?"
"One or two. We'll need to run some scans though before I can be sure. Did you happen to pack anything useful like a PDA?"
Ianto nodded. "In the boot."
"Great. We'll get it later and then we can go hunting." He raised his glass in a toast.
-ooOoo-
The rest of the evening was spent chatting to the other guests followed by a gentle walk through the gardens, Ianto's legs still aching from the day's exertions. When it came on to rain, they hastened back to the hotel and after a detour to the car to get the PDA – secreted with Weevil spray and cuffs alongside the spare wheel – they retired to their room.
Ianto stood in the centre of the room as Jack used the PDA to sweep the bedroom and then the bathroom. He was meticulous, going into every corner and pulling out furniture when he deemed it necessary, constantly adjusting the frequency of the scan. Every time Ianto tried to ask about the results, Jack shushed him so he finally sat on the bed and waited as patiently as he could.
"Interesting." Jack was finally finished.
"And?" prompted Ianto, taking the PDA when it was handed to him. He glanced at the display but it was blank.
"Just one more sweep I think." Jack was off again, using the instruments built into his wrist strap this time. He thought he knew what was interrupting his fun but wanted to be sure. Of course, knowing what it was and counteracting it were two different things but he was sure he'd come up with a solution. After ten minutes, he was finished. "It's as I thought."
"What?" exclaimed Ianto.
"Don't get your knickers in a twist, Ianto. Just because you've not been getting enough you don't have to take it out on me."
Ianto screwed up his eyes and gritted his teeth, counting to ten and then ten again. Jack could be entirely exasperating at times. When he opened his eyes, Jack was crouched down eye to eye with him and a bare fifteen centimetres away. "Fuck!" Ianto jerked backwards in shock.
"What's with the counting?" Jack slowly stood up, looking down with a bemused expression.
"Forget the counting. What have you found?" Ianto kept his voice as calm and reasonable as he could but his hands, balled into fists and dug into the duvet, showed the real level of his frustration with the other man.
"Not 100% sure," said Jack, sitting on the bed beside Ianto, "I've only heard rumours of them. Basically, they're energy beings who go about their business doing their thing and don't harm anyone until …" Jack waited looking at Ianto expectantly.
"Until what?"
"Until one of them dies. They hate being alone, go into a decline and expire themselves unless …"
With a noticeable sigh, Ianto said, "Unless what? And I'm not playing this game any more so spit it out."
With a wicked grin, Jack replied, "Unless they find a source of energy that's like their own." He waited again and saw the dawning understanding creep across Ianto's once expressive face.
"Sexual energy?"
"Give the boy a prize." He put an arm round Ianto's shoulders and hugged him. "Oh no, he's already got the jackpot – me!"
Ianto ignored Jack's chortling laughter and concentrated. If the theory was correct, an energy being had been left alone and was trying to find another mate, seeking out sources of energy that were familiar. Somehow it had arrived at the hotel and … what? It may have found people staying here and engaging in sex but how had that helped it? Ianto supposed it was enough to keep the being alive if it was still around after two years, but was that all it wanted? He shook his head and turned to Jack.
"So it's being kept alive by … soaking up human sexual energy?"
"Uh huh. The infusions it gets are enough to make it think its mate is still around." Jack stood up and began pacing between the bed and the door. "Probably came through the Rift originally and drifted north, these things are long-lived, and floated around doing … whatever energy beings do. When it was left alone it happened to be here and had a ready supply of familiar energy to keep it alive but I bet it's confused."
Ianto had been considering another point, one they had been dancing around all night. "But that still doesn't explain why it latched onto me and not you. You have more sexual energy than anyone I've ever met. Why doesn't it like you?"
"Because, my dear Ianto, you taste better."
"Huh?"
Jack plumped down onto the bed, the mattress bouncing beneath the two men. "By my time, the human race has met and mingled bodily fluids with an untold number of aliens and lived on worlds with diverse ecosystems. You're vintage wine while I'm supermarket plonk. A pedigree to a mongrel." He stopped, frowned and added seriously, "Which is hard to believe given how I look."
"Don't worry, I won't tell anyone." Ianto patted his hand consolingly.
"I'd be grateful. Never live that one down."
Ianto shook his head and smiled. "So, now we've found out what it is, or think we have, what do we do about it?"
"We capture it, of course."
"Of course."
They lay on the bed and considered what they were going to do next. Luring the creature out would be no problem at all – they just had to start making love – but capturing an alien energy being with just a PDA, Weevil spray and cuffs was impossible. Even cannibalising items in the hotel would not help. When they had tossed the problem around some more, it was clear there was only one answer. They had to get some more kit from the team in Cardiff. Having compiled a list of what they wanted, Jack picked up his mobile and hit speed dial.