Yeah..i knoww! I'm really sorry, but It's finally up, right? Well, I hope you guys will like this one...it is the long awaited chapter that all you readers have been waiting for! YES, you know what that means.

edit: sorry that i just replaced this chapter...i recognized a good amount of typos and i nearly feel over. .

Disclaimer: okay, the rules abide, and they will never change: i do NOT own any characters.

REWRITE/EDIT


-Where Tear Drops Fall-

-5-

Dinner was quiet a few days later.

The word of Selphie resuming back to her problems seamed to leak throughout the Center, along with my 'ratting' her out in the past four days. I spooned my mashed potatoes quietly, farther away from the eating group than usual. I didn't feel at all that hungry; every time I tried to raise my spoon to my mouth, I felt like I was going to vomit. I felt incredibly guilty for my decision in telling a counselor about Selphie's accident in the bathroom. But, even through the remorse and rejection I felt from everyone else, I know deep down that it was the correct thing to do. No matter how painful it was to betray my friend.

Giving up, I put my spoon down on my plate and slumped even lower. I was scared to look anywhere else but my plate. The thought of the whole cafeteria secretly talking and looking at me sickened me; leaving myself even queasier than I had felt before, even thought the incident was days ago.

But I stole a glace to my left at the rest of the group who were all eating quietly as well. I was still surprised that Axel hadn't taunted or spoken a word about Selphie and myself's occurrence. My eyes silently strayed to Roxas, who seemed to be thinking hard as he stared into his plate. I had a strange feeling that he was slightly blaming himself for Selphie's well being in the past days. I guessed he was convinced that if he had looked after Selphie, like he did Aerith and I, things would have turned out differently.

My amethyst orbs then set to Namine, whose eyes were also plastered to the surface of the grayish lunch table. She was probably feeling terrible about how she always made fun of Selphie's upbeat and hyper attitude behind her back. Then, my eyes lay on Tidus, who hadn't even bothered to get dinner. A dark film seemed to have cast over his occasionally bright eyes in the past four days. Dark, tired bags have formed underneath his eyelids, as his less-radiant bangs covered most of his face.

I finally looked at Sora, who had been staring back at me. A lump formed in my throat, and my saliva felt like goop inside my mouth. He stared at me softly, face drooped in respect. He hadn't really talked to me since the accident. A few moments later, he jerked his head towards the door, signaling for me to meet him outside. I looked away. I wasn't sure I was completely ready to talk just yet. And the thought of it being with Sora terrified me even more.

I watched from the corner of my eye as Sora stood up from the bench and threw his trash away, heading towards the door. I fidgeted in my deep-sea green sweatshirt as I sat there wondering whether or not to stand up and follow him. I bit my lip as my emotions seemed to make up my mind, and allowed my legs to lift my body up.

I could feel almost the whole cafeteria's eyes follow my every move, judging and studying me as I started to head for the exit. I felt sick again.

Once out of the cluttered room, I felt a large weight lift off my shoulders. But at the sight of Sora leaning again the wall waiting for me, the weight seemed to sink into my stomach.

Sora seemed to straighten up as our eyes met and then dug his fists into his pockets. He looked around in a slightly awkward fashion. I couldn't help notice how his spiked bangs hung over his gorgeous liquid eyes. This didn't help much with the current situation.

I stopped in front of him, mentally kicking myself for deciding to meet him there. I looked down at the floor, and then up at him again, my eyes lingering on his surprisingly complimenting outfit. A nice, jersey-fabric green shirt fit him nicely around the torso, without exaggerating his already lithe body. Dark jeans hung loosely along his legs, and I found myself biting my lip.

I kicked myself once again. This was no time for such thoughts, no matter how amazingly handsome he was at the random moment, or how—

"So, how are you?" he asked slowly, his voice deeper than normal. I jumped, shaking myself out of my stupid thoughts as a light blush caressed my cheeks. After a few moments' pause, I decided to open my mouth to speak, but nothing seemed to come out. The question suddenly seemed much more complicated than it was supposed to be.

I looked down, but Sora seemed to understand. "C'mon, lets go walk." He looked into my eyes pleadingly. I had never seen him like this in the past week that I've known him. I nodded quickly, and began to walk next to him; neither of us knowing exactly where we were going.

There was a silence for a while as the only noises produced by us were our echoing footsteps in the vacant hallways. I felt like I needed to say something.

I hesitantly opened her mouth. "I…I've been thinking." My voice was soft from lack of use and I continued to stare at the tiled floor. Neither Sora's countenance nor his pace seemed to falter, making me feel a little less worried about what I was going to say, and giving me a little more confidence.

"I was thinking about…starting one-on-one therapy again." I said very slowly, realizing my voice was barely louder than the sound of our footsteps. I felt Sora nod. "That's really good, Kairi. It's actually very good that you might do it; it's to your benefit." He said equally as soft.

The silence pressed on, as we found ourselves by the door that lead us outside to the bitter winter. I had been out by the swing set a lot in the past few days, and I felt the need to feel the cold once more. Silently, we both dug through the closet, looking for our jackets, until we swung them on and walked outside.

The brisk and dry air cooled my senses, and the crunching snow felt good beneath my black converse sneakers, which were slightly dampening with each step. Fog formed out of my mouth with each breath like a steaming teakettle, and each bold inhale stung the inside of my nostrils. I enjoyed the cold. It was oddly welcoming to me.

I stole a glance at Sora, who was staring blankly at the frosted ground below him, and then towards the horizon of barren, gray trees. Silence pressed in our ears as we continued to walk past the forgotten playground and towards the small, frozen pond.

I slipped my hands into my jacket pocket, searching for my gloves with frigid fingers. To my great misfortune, they were not there. I cupped my hands around my mouth and exhaled to release heat into my bitter hands. Sora watched me do this.

I dropped my hands to my sides, clenching them together to attain some kind of warmth. My teeth clattered, and all I wanted were my fleece gloves.

Then I felt something grab my hand, and I realized it was Sora.

My heart seemed to freeze over like everything else in this wasteland, and my pulse strangely doubled. I quickly looked down, scared if he was looking at me and expecting something. But I knew he wasn't, he was just breathing in the air around him and soaking in the environment. I licked my chapped lips. Was he holding my hand out of affection or to just warm up my hand? My mind went fuzzy at the thought of either.

"You know…there are a lot of rumors going around about you and Selphie." His voice was casual, yet soft to the touch. For some reason, my stomach sank at the thought that maybe he was probably just warming my hands up. "Ha, some of them are really stupid. I think one of them was that you actually hit her after finding out, and she broke her jaw." He merely chuckled to himself. I was relieved he didn't believe in those rumors.

But I was clearly aware of the awful rumors spreading around, and once I just felt like screaming the real story out at dinner on night, so that I would stop being tortured. But I knew better. No one would be able to hear. They were deaf to the truth.

I knitted my eyebrows, and decided to speak. "I…I found her in the bathroom. She…actually begged me to not tell anyone; that she could stop when she wanted." I sucked in a breath, I was already getting tired from talking, "but I knew…I knew she would never recover in time." I bit my lip. I wondered if it was safe to tell these things to Sora. I had only known him for a week, after all.

Sora nodded as I looked at him. He was staring blankly at the untouched ground in deep thought. I really wanted to know what he was thinking.

"That was really brave, you know." He said. My stomach did a back flip and my mind felt fuzzy again. " Don't listen to what other people say. It was the right decision." He nodded and halted as we reached the small pond. He dropped my hand, and I embarrassingly stuffed my hands into my coat pocket. The little pond was nothing more than a near circle of untouched snow atop a layer of ice. A twiggy, dead-looking tree with long and crystal-like icicles leaned over the pond. The remains of dead weeds stuck out near the edges of the pool, and I thought the scene looked rather lonely.

Sora crouched down close to the ground, and stared at it for a second. He picked up a close rock, and chucked it towards the ice. The rock made a wide crack, and bits of snow fell into it.

"The ice is pretty thin. I bet spring is coming soon." He said, smiling lightly to himself. I looked at him and I couldn't help but feel depressed. The smooth grin reminded me of someone I distinctly didn't want to remember. I felt hate bubble up inside me. And at the moment, I wanted to explode with questions on exactly how he knew Riku. My eyes turned to slits, and the temporary lax atmosphere and tranquility melted before me. I was about to open my mouth when he spoke.

"I heard you used to cut yourself. And that that's how you ended up here." He declared calmly looking at his pale hands. My anger also branched into annoyance. I distinctly didn't like to talk about it. "But…" he continued, looking up into my eyes, "I guess you don't know how I got in here, do you?" his eyes matched the scenery behind us. His usually crisp, near cobalt blue eyes were now a sadder, emptier gray. Something seemed to twitch in the pit of my stomach. But as his words soaked in the in the look of his eyes, I felt slightly curious. However, I didn't dare let my angry defense down.

He looked away from my eyes only for a second, and than back at me. "I've done bad things, Kairi." His eyes looked even emptier than seconds prior, and my stomach sank into my intestines. My anger slowly, very slowly, calmed, and I wanted to understand him as much as he wanted me to understand as well. He seemed to have swallowed hard.

"I-I," his voice cracked and he looked down towards the bitter snow, "I didn't know it would get so bad when I started…"

I froze. A sick feeling erupted in my stomach and I felt like throwing up. My muscles tensed like elastic rope as I stared wide-eyed up at him. All this time…I had never known exactly why he had come here. He seemed like such a normal boy, a fun-loving and peppy boy that you probably wouldn't meet everyday of the week. But then I thought, wasn't that how I was so long ago? I suddenly didn't want to hear the rest of his story. I knew too well where it was headed.

"You know…my mom was never home and," he fiddled with his fingers as his vocal cords seemed to continue cracking, "when she was, she was always so tired. But she always told me to work hard and everything. Which I did! I really, really did. I-I was one of the top of my class, honor roll every semester…but then one day I couldn't take it." My mind was frozen over once again along with the water in the pond, and everything else around me. I inwardly begged him to stop. Please, just stop! I was having a hard time handling all of this; why did so many lives have to be screwed up? I would rather live in blissful ignorance than hear his tragedies. I knew this was wrong. I knew this was selfish. Who was I to reject one of the few people who seemed to care about me? I bathed in self-loathing. I needed to be strong. I was not weak.

"I was…"he sniffed loudly and looked up towards the morose sky, "so, so tired of life! So tired of the pressures of school, so tired of coming home to a frequently empty house, so, so, SO tired of always being the one left out! So I found an escape." Sora half turned away from me in shame, and I continued to beg him to stop inside my mind.

"I want you to promise me, Kairi. Please, please, don't…don't ever do such a horrible thing as I did. After I got addicted to the drugs…there was no stopping me. I stole things…lots of things." He grabbed his head and kneeled down on the floor like a ball. I didn't move, I didn't blink. All I could do was stare at the boy who seemed to be lost within himself.

"I stole from a little kid, Kairi! A little kid! A-and only to get money for more…" he looked up at me from the ground, water brimming his small pupils and now chattering his teeth as if he were naked in the snow. "I am such a disgrace. My mother…is probably so disappointed. I let her down. And now…" he cried standing up straight slowly and looking down at me, "I let you down."

The bitterness of the sky nipped at my watered orbs of violet. I wanted to yell at him, scold him, hit him, and cry to him. My stomach was so queasy now I wanted to fall over. Then he whispered, "I know its strange to confess this all to you so quickly...but for some reason I feel I need to. I can't explain it. I'm so twisted up inside. Sometimes, I don't even know who I am anymore…" But as I stared up at his pleading round eyes as he hesitantly stood up again, I thought: I want to be the first to forgive him. And soon I found myself wrapped around him and compressing him as if he was going to disappear from my fingertips. My mind screamed 'I forgive you; you don't disappoint me', and I prayed that he could somehow hear me through the thickness of our close-grained bodies. His reaction was almost immediate; he wrapped his arms around me equally as desperate. He dug his face in the crook of my neck as I shivered from his warmth; something I haven't done in so long.

And then I wondered…when was the last time I hugged someone?

We stayed like that for a long while, supporting each other by a simple yet complex embrace of mixed emotions and regrets. His brown hair tickled my cheek as I hugged his torso tighter. The scene was odd, I figured, two people holding onto each other in a tight embrace in the middle of a winter wasteland. But as of right now, the arctic judgments around us were nothing compared to the warmth between our bodies.

I didn't know why, and I didn't know how, but I felt myself letting go.

Later that night I was alone in my small room.

I couldn't stop thinking about the confession of Sora earlier that morning. There was something about holding each other after such a speech that felt so…important. There was a strong connection between us now, I thought, a friendship I hadn't experienced in a while. Along with a feeling I hadn't felt in a while aswell.

I thought about Selphie, too. I finally mustered up the courage to visit her a while after my encounter with Sora. Rather, our moment inspired me to do it. She was in a separate section of the Center, the Special Care Unit. That was the place students when to when there was an emergency. They still weren't sure what they were going to do with her just yet, but one thing was decided: she wasn't going to graduate this month. That piece of information impacted me strongly. She had looked forward to it for so long, and part of me felt as if I had ruined her dream. But when I visited her, she just smiled at me softly and talked to me as if nothing much has happened. Apparently I was the second one to visit her, the first being Tidus, of course. She talked to me about a lot of stuff, and I inwardly felt relieved. And I think she was trying to tell me that she forgave me…and I felt a little bit better.

She talked to me about her worry for Tidus, and she asked me to look after him. I found this surprising, but I nodded to a promise. She asked me a lot of questions away from those two subjects as well, and it felt like things were back to normal again. I even didn't feel the occasional annoying feeling I felt when she talked to me so much like that. But I didn't mind; it felt like she was so happy to finally talk to someone again.

Before I had left the patient's room, I remembered, I turned around and said softly, "I'm sorry." But she only smiled at me as I left the room. And after that, my heart surprisingly felt lighter.

I also thought about how a while after talking to Selphie, I signed up for one-on-one sessions again. Amusement played inside me as I remembered the look on the secretary's face. But she smiled pleasantly at me and told me she was glad that I was doing this. I only nodded, but I found myself agreeing with her.

I fell back on my stale bed and let out a puff of air as I closed my eyes. For some odd reason, I felt very peaceful at the moment. I had certainly accomplished a lot today, I thought. I found a small smile creep up on my lips. I shot my eyes open.

Where did that come from?

I sighed again and scratched my uncombed hair. I crinkled my brows and sat up with my legs dangling off the side of the small bed. I stood up and looked into the only mirror in the room. For some reason, the Center did not promote mirrors, and our room was one of the very few that actually had one. We tried to keep it secret though; we didn't want people coming into the room every second of the day to see how they looked. Heck, even the bathroom barely had a mirror.

I stared at my reflection. It seemed so tired. My hair was a stringy mess and I had small bags under my eyes. I looked better than I did a few days ago when I look in the mirror in the bathroom, I thought. But I felt an odd sensation to clean myself up. I rummaged through my drawer noisily in search for a comb. I finally found the wooden utensil, and then pulled it through my hair with difficulty. It took a few minutes for my hair to be flat and untangled again, and I nodded my head. I touched my face and leaned closer to the mirror. My skin seemed greasy, and I felt a very urgent need to wash it.

What was wrong with me?

I haven't washed my face in a long time, why am I caring about how I look now? I sighed and silently decided to go to the bathroom and freshen up. I searched through my drawer again to find a scrunchy to pull up my hair. I blinked. Jesus, something must really be up with me today. I haven't pulled up my hair since I came here. I seemed to be doing things I haven't done in a while today.

I rolled my eyes and slipped on some slippers before I left the room. For some reason, we always had to wear some kind of shoe. I thought that the pinkish shoes clashed with my navy, baggy hoody and gray sweat pants, but I just shrugged it off and closed the door behind me and stepped into the empty hallways.

Things were strangely quiet tonight, I thought. Namine wasn't in our room, I was pretty sure she was going to visit Selphie after she heard that I did. But she should have been back by now.

I wondered what time it was, certainly not too late, I hoped; I didn't want to get into trouble. But I continued to walk down the horribly decorated bland walls towards the girl's community bathroom. As I walked I traced my fingertips against the wall absentmindedly. I found my lips humming a song from the movie The Notebook. I knotted my eyebrows together; humming this song in particular was quite random.

I continued to walk down the hallway humming the song lightly. But suddenly I felt someone behind me, and then a grab on my shoulder. My eyes shot open and I must have a jumped a few feet in the air. I quickly whipped around to see who it was.

"Roxas!" I found my self saying breathlessly. The sudden rush of fear and cold that went to my head thawed as I took a deep breath and took a step away from him. Roxas made a kind of subtle smirk, "Sorry I scared you." He said quietly as always. I stared at him with a biting of the lip and took a step away from him.

"What are you doing up this late?" he asked as he looked around the hall. I pointedly looked towards the nearby entrance of the girl's bathroom, "Ahh, right." He said. Silence followed after that, and they both stood out of place in the middle of the abandoned hallway.

He then looked me in the eye, "I haven't talked to you in a long while, how are you?" he ask kindly. Roxas was never this polite and kind with many people…really only with Aerith and me.

I shrugged and shoulders and looked down. "I heard you've been talking more lately." He told me. I looked up at him, realizing I was slightly blushing for no reason. Have I really? I've barely noticed…

"Yeah, and that you signed up for one-on-one's again. That's good." He said, something of a smile etched across his countenance. He looked down at the floor and then said, "Lets sit down, I don't feel like standing." I looked at him quizzically as he sat down on the floor and leaned against the drywall wall. I nodded my head and sat on the opposite side.

We sat in silence for a while. My eyes set on him. He wasn't wearing his usual beanie over his unruly hair, and I liked it that way. For some reason, I had an urge to tell him.

"I like how your hair is now." I said softly, not used to the vibration of my vocal cords. He made a small snort and kept his eyes closed as he rolled his head against the wall. That was the great thing about having Roxas as a friend, he didn't freak out when I actually spoke a little bit like I know a lot of people would have.

"And I like how yours is." He replied with a small yawn at the end. I made a small snort for myself and looked away from him and made myself into a ball with my legs tucked under my chin. The hallways felt even eerier than before. It was dark, and basically the only light available was the full moon from outside the window a few yards away from them. I sighed and closed my eyes too. But I felt him looking at, searching me, and I felt uncomfortable. I opened my eyes to see him looking at me as if he was deciding something, and then shook his head and stood up. He walked over to me and offered me a hand.

"C'mon, we're gonna get in trouble. I bet one of the nurses is going to walk through here soon." He said looking down at me. I nodded my head and took his cold hand. He lifted me up easily. "Hmm…you're lighter than you look." Roxas smirked as he looked down at me. I snorted, and then looked up at him. We were close. Much to close. But he didn't make any move to walk away, and I was rooted to the spot. Why did this 'rooting' happen to me so much?

Without warning, I found myself in an embrace. My eyes widened substantially.

Once again, we stayed like that for a long while. I wasn't really sure what was happening, and I wasn't even sure about how I felt about it, either. The hug felt uncomfortable for me. It felt good, I had to admit…but it didn't seem right. This was Roxas, my first friend at the center. This was Roxas, the misunderstood young man. This was Roxas, a boy in love with someone else.

Maybe that was exactly why I held him tighter. I wondered how long it had been since he'd had a hug. Probably longer than me, I thought, and I knew that that kind of emotion bottles up inside you until it overflows. This was his moment of overflowing, I reasoned. And he had a right to.

But then his hair tickled my cheek. My heart skipped a beat and an exhilarated shiver ran up my spine. Sora. I blinked. Hadn't this just happened hours before?

Roxas began to pull away, and his rough bangs covered his eyes so I couldn't see them. He stepped away from me. "I'm sorry…I just…" he trailed off softly, not looking me in the eye. I swallowed hard. "I can…help you, you know." I said softly, digging my hands into my hoody's single pocket. He looked at me timidly.

"Hmm?" he asked softly, not completely understanding what I was talking about.

I bit my lip, and cleared my throat. "I can help you…" I took a breath, I was already getting tired of talking, "be closer with Aerith." I looked up at him; a very small smile turned my lips. He opened his eyes wide, but were nonetheless twinkling distantly. He stared at me for a few seconds and then looked away with a small laugh.

I supposed that that was his own subtle way of saying "thank you".

"C'mon, we should really go now." He said softly, walking away with his hands in his pockets. I walked next to him down the hall in a comfortable silence. Everything felt at ease, even if I knew it wouldn't last until the morning. But then, I thought, as we walked down the winding maze of this prison, perhaps there was a chance of an end coming into sight.

Well, I [hope you all enjoyed that... It definately took long enough, i know. Some fluffyness here...im sorry it was really bad fluff, but i PROMISE that this will probably the only overly-dramatic chapter for the ones to come. Im sorry...it was terrible, I'm sure. Well, please review! Ive been really ahppy with all the reviews lately...you guys really inspire me a lot to right. So please review, and you'll get a chapter sooner. :)