Soo...don't kill me for the lack of updates. I've been trying, honestly. Well, anyways, i believe that this story will be coming to an end soon. Ah! Yes, the closing. I'm thinking in maybe two or three more chapters; including the epilogue or not. Not too sure. Well, please enjoy, hope you like the chapter! I nice little amount of Kaiora for you guys, too!

Disclaimer: I do not own Kingdom Hearts or any of the characters. No need to rub it in.

REWRITE/EDIT


-Where Tear Drops Fall-

-6-

I sat rigidly in the cafeteria the next day.

Today was the day for my first one-on-one Therapy session in about two and a half months. I was nervous, I had to admit. For the time that I was in those sessions, I didn't talk at all. Yuna, who was my personal counselor, just sat there asking me questions, which were never granted a response. I would just stare at the ceiling, completely ignoring her. I felt bad now. But hopefully I could get it right this time. "So Kairi, I hear you have your first session today." Naminé said out of conversation. I nodded my head, playing with my parmesan pasta. "I'm sure you'll do great, Kai." She finished encouragingly. I flinched at the pet name. It brought back bad memories of that silver haired son of a bitch.

"You okay, Kairi?" Aerith asked sympathetically, obviously noticing my sudden jump. I made a small smile to her and muttered a small 'yes'. Her smile grew as she returned back to her plate. It was quiet for a while longer until the bell rang suddenly. Everyone around the table jumped, no one was really expecting the bell to ring. Shuffling out of the large cafeteria, I found myself walking alongside Sora and Naminé.

"Hey guys, want to come with to the schedule desk? I totally forgot what I have next period." Naminé said as Sora and I nodded, squeezing our way through the diminishing people in the hallway. We finally made it to the desk, realizing that I too had forgotten what I had after this period; I checked my schedule on the hallway wall. I groaned and swore under my breath. I had workout period with Tifa. She was sure to make a fun ride. I usually didn't like workout period, but they say it takes down stress levels. And as much as I don't want to admit it, it actually did help at times. Except when it was with Tifa.

I looked at my schedule again. But something there made my blood go chill. Under the same period of workout was Sora. Shit. Crap. Fiddly winks. And I didn't stop myself in muttering those out loud, too. I felt a presence beside me, and jumped when I realized it was Sora.

"What were you swearing about?" he asked me with a raised eyebrow and a large smile. I gulped, my mind thinking quickly. I pointed to Tifa's typed out, messy name. His mouth formed an 'O' in recognition. "Well, I'm sure we'll survive." He said, then ruffling my hair as he walked away. I quickly smoothed it out again. Realizing that I was probably late by now, I tapped a flustered Naminé on the shoulder to tell her that I was leaving.

I walked quickly through the maze of bleak hallways towards my destination. Finally reaching it, out of breath and wishing I had chosen a thinner sweatshirt for the day, I knocked on the door. After hearing a muffled greeting, I turned the golden-rusted knob and entered the room. It was very much like the other rooms of the Center, in exception for the increased amount of interesting artwork on the walls and fluffy rugs on the floor.

I spotted Yuna, who was sitting cross-legged on an office chair in front of a maroon couch. She was looking nice, as always. Her short chestnut hair was combed and tidy, and she wore a pressed khaki skirt and pretty blouse. She smiled at me and motioned for me to sit down on the couch. My nerves flared up again, and I found myself playing with my hands as I gazed around the room stiffly.

Yuna continued to smile, "I'm so glad you decided to join one-on-one sessions again, Kairi. We never really got far last time." She said sweetly, but somehow, not in an annoying, 'psychologist' way that I previously remembered. Funny how memory can altered. I didn't say anything. What was there to say?

She flattened out her clipboard on her lap tidily, "So I've heard you've been talking more lately. That's really great." She said conversationally. I looked into her eyes. Why were these statements not annoying me like they did before?

"So I suppose we should talk a little about the past. You don't have to if you don't want to, but I do want to know about how this all started." She said, clicking her pen. Not knowing what to say, I shrugged my shoulders. I hoped she understood that my doing meant that I was paying attention, and that I still wanted to do this. And I think she did, because she smiled. It seemed to have encouraged her.

"Do you have any siblings, Kairi?" she asked. I almost smiled to myself to think about it. I nodded my head, not looking in her direction, but attempting to flatten my hair and make it look presentable.

"What are their names?"

I bit my lip and cleared my throat. "Reno." I said softly, "His name is Reno." It wasn't much to say, but I was glad I said something that wasn't so negative. Yuna's smile only increased.

"So tell, is he older than you or younger?" she asked, still keeping the casualty in her words. I appreciated that.

"He…just started college." I murmured, playing with my hands.

" Ah, and do you miss him?" she asked, writing some notes down on her clipboard. My heart suddenly became heavy at the thought of my brother. We used to be so close, and when he left home, I remember feeling so alone. For years, he was my only companion, considering that for a while we moved around so much with my parents. We grew up with each other; we grew off of each other. And we were all we had.

I nodded. Yes, I missed him terribly.

"That must have been hard. You were probably close." She then laughed to herself, "Oh my, I had a bunch of little siblings. The only bad thing about it was that I never really got close to them, which I'm sure you were with Reno. It was hard to get to know someone when they were always stealing your stuff to play dress-up." She began laughing at her own memories, and the smallest smile turned on my lips. That was something I've always wanted though; to always have someone below you so that they were always be there for you, even if you could not always be there for them.

I decided to speak, "I've always wanted little siblings." I said softly looking at my hands. Yuna looked at me, but I did not remove my gaze from my hands.

"Hmm, I suppose you are right. They were always there, weren't they? And all you wanted was someone to relate with." She smiled. I shrugged, now picking my nails, surprised on how she was right on target.

There was silence for a while longer. "But there must have been some other reason for you to start inflicting pain on your self. You don't have to tell me now, so if you feel uncomfortable about speaking about it, it's alright with me." She said, leaning back on her chair, giving off a vibe of flexibility for these sessions. I shrugged my shoulders. She nodded her head.

"You know, often for cutters like yourself, sometimes something drastic happens in their lives. I know that the absence of your brother was troubling, but was there something else? Such as a death of a loved one?" she continued, her hair falling out behind her ear as she leaned forward in her chair. I thought for a moment, and then shook my head.

"No? Then what was it? Remember, you don't have to tell me anything just yet."

I nodded my head, continuing to pick at my nails. I noted how dry they looked. "Well…" I quietly started, "there was a boy." Silence pressed on as I looked up at her eyes. I could see that there wasn't the standard "oh I feel so sorry for you". But there was actually something there in the depths of her mix-matched eyes. It was a raw understanding.

"Would you like to talk about it?" she asked. I bit my lip. Was I ready to tell her? But what about people I trusted?

I shook my head. No.

She smiled brilliantly. "Don't worry, we can talk about it when you're ready." she casually said. There was a silence. "Well, how about we talk more about you." I nodded.

I ended up telling Yuna how my absolute favorite food was key-lime pie, no matter the occasion. That I loved contemporary rock and techno and the occasional hip-hop song. I told her that I thought that this place resembled a prison, about my afternoon swing set sessions, and about my friendships with my therapy group. The bell rang, and she walked me to the door with a smile, saying that she'll see me tomorrow and to have a great day.

I'll have to admit, as I walked out of that room, I wondered. I wondered why I had been so set on hating such nice people like Yuna, or why I had always thought life was out to get me. But the weight on my shoulders was lifting. I was feeling a little bit of freedom.

Work out period didn't turn out as badly as I thought it would. Tifa was in one of her incredibly rare good moods. I supposed it could have been because of the endorphins, but I didn't think about it too much; I was trying to focus on my work out schedule. Sora and I stuck together that period, considering no one else we knew other than Tifa was there. And anyway, Tifa was too busy kicking the shit out of one of the male padded targets. You see, here in the Center, they didn't just use manikins or foam figures, but real counselors. No wonder Tifa loved this period so much.

Another plus about work-out period was that right after, we had an additional rest period with the people in that particular period. It also happened to be the period before dinner. This had been an unusually good two days.

By the time the bell rang, I was ready to stop. I had a good burn surge through me as endorphins weren't that far behind. I couldn't help but compare the feeling to cutting. I shook my head quickly as I began to look around for sharp objects. I kept my head down, trying desperately to ignore these urges.

I followed Tifa into the showers as all the girls washed up in the gym bathrooms. After a hot shower and a warm towel later, we were all sitting in the free-period room, where I usually spent my mornings with Aerith and Roxas. As I headed towards my usual spot, I spotted some other kid sitting there. In my chair. I took action. I stood directly in front of him and just stared at him. The boy, immediately recognizing me, jumped out of the seat and scurried away to his friends in the back. Satisfied, I sat down and adjusted myself into my most comfortable position; flattening down my dark, wet hair.

"Ah, Kairi, you have power, don't you." Sora said, plopping animatedly on the couch next to my seat. I didn't answer him, but eyed Tifa who was edging herself towards the remote.

"Tifa." I said lowly and quietly. She immediately shot her head in my direction.

"What?" she snapped, her eyes deepening. She knew exactly what. I just stared at her.

"Ugh! Fine, it's you're turn. Jeez!" she said, chucking the small black box onto my lap. I picked it up and started to flip through the channels quietly. Whenever Tifa and I had rest period after weight lifting, we would take turns with the remote. This only applied to us two, considering we were the most intimidating ones in the room. Hey, gotta' keep up the title.

Stopping at a satisfying channel, I got up to get a bottle of water, and sat back down; not changing the channel.

Silence pressed on as everyone watched the TV. And then, "Kairi, this channel is crap. Change it." Tifa snarled as she crossed her arms in front of her in a childish fashion. I only glared back. I seemed to have forgotten on her mood swings, and this time it turned a total 180 degrees due to the lack of control over the TV.

The staring contest continued. "No." I said, not letting my gaze break from hers. I could see Sora, who was sitting next to her, look between the raven-haired girl and me with worry of conflict. Sora's wishes of peace were ignored, as before I knew it, Tifa had picked up my water bottle and tossed its contents on my face and sweatshirt. Before I could react wildly, though, a counselor jumped in and pulled the girl away. She gave her breathing instruction, her back facing me. My own breath was pumping in rage. I threw the remainder of the water bottle to the floor, and stomped out of the room before either of us did anything else.

I could feel my hot breath rip through my nostrils as I tried desperately to calm myself down. My fists were clenched in fury; my nails digging into the bareness of my palms. My mind was on fire. I quickly turned the corner and stomped toward the bathroom to dry myself off. As with what I could see that no one was in the hallway, I ripped my sweatshirt over my head without thinking as I neared the entrance of the bathroom; revealing the graffiti on my limbs.

Before I could react, think, or even realize, Sora's voice was traveling around the bend of the hallway. The anger flushed away so quickly, its speed is incapable of defining in words. Fear took its rightful place. "Kairi, wait! Don't just run off like that during a period, you'll get in-"

But it was too late. He saw. One of the many secrets I had kept beneath my heart and cloth of my sweatshirts was revealed. I turned around with fear stricken eyes. He was not looking at my eyes, not even at my face, but at my arms. I looked down at myself as well. There, plain as day, pink and scarlet scars, stretching their way across every inch of my pale arms. There were crosses, tiger-marks, or even long, continuing lines that snaked up towards my shoulders and hid behind the cloth of my tank top. There were no arms left, I realized, just the healing scars of my past, dug deep, deep into my skin.

I looked into his eyes, but he would not look into mine. He could not seem to break the gaze he had on my marks. It scared me. It scared me even more to look at his blank expression than to look at these scars that I inflicted willingly. What would he think of me now? Would he think of me as inferior? My eyes began to sting. And just as I was making things right…

But the worst part, the absolutely horrifying part was the way his eyes, his face, and his body began to shake as he read what I had inscribed on myself with the blade of a kitchen knife and the pain of those words.

Before he could say anything, react…I ran.

It didn't take too long of running until I quickly collapsed on the corner of the floor. It did not take long until Sora was by my side. He didn't say anything. He didn't need to; we both knew what was etched into my arms that both induced this silence and filled in many blanks on the page.

Riku did this.

Tears felt very funny. It had been a long time since I'd cried, and I had completely forgotten the feeling of a sudden wave of exhaustion. Or the feeling of you truths, lies, and fears cascading out of your eyes; leaving you forever in peace.

And maybe perhaps that was why I couldn't stop.

And Sora, poor, kind, Sora, just sat there with me quietly, rocking me back in forth in his arms as I languidly sat on his lap like a pathetic baby. His shirt was damp from my tears, and if he had noticed, he didn't say anything. He just pressed his warm cheek to the crown of my head and continued to move me back and forth. My heart filled with both warmth and sadness as we sat there for what seemed like a long time. Here he was, holding me, supporting me. And then again, here he was as well, breaking under the truth.

A long time had passed until my tears began to slow. Sora stopped rocking me back and forth. But we just sat there in silence, a sniffle and a breath here and there, but ultimately, quietness. And then, he spoke.

"So," he said quietly, not removing his head from mine so I could feel the sweet vibration of his vocal cords, "this Riku, he…" Sora said, trailing off of his course of words, waiting for me to finish his sentence.

After a couple of moments, "…he was your Riku." I said shakily, my voice still recovering from its sobs. Sora didn't say anything, and I didn't expect him to. I continued painfully. "He hurt me, Sora. He hurt me in the worst way possible." I said this very slowly and quietly, like it was secret, only for him to know and understand.

He stayed quiet for a while longer. "And…" he swallowed, "did he, did he do that to you?" he asked with such a tone in his voice, as if he was hoping, wishing, that this could not be true, that I had been lying this whole time. Ah, how wrong he was.

I shook my head in his chest, listening to his slow heartbeat. "I did it because of him." A loud sniff came after this whisper and I could almost feel a chill go down both of our bodies.

"It's hard to believe you…" he continued slowly, his own voice shaking quietly, "but somehow, I do; I know it's true."

We didn't talk for a while after, as if we were both pondering very hard on his words.

"Riku, he was always aggressive and quiet. But I never thought - I still cant think- that he would-" but I cut him off of his attempt to comfort me, and himself.

"Sora?" I asked quietly. He snapped his jaw shut and pulled away slowly, looking at me. "Yeah?"

"Can we not talk about Riku right now?" I said quietly, losing energy with ever syllable. He just looked into my eyes in the coolness of the floor, diving deep into my soul and coming back. He nodded. We so close right now, I could feel his every breath, his essence of life. My heart neither sped up nor slowed down, but at if we both had gone still with the world around us. But I just relaxed my tiny self against his chest again. He hugged me closer.

Suddenly, and without warning, the bell for dinner rang, and footsteps could be heard through the hallways. But somehow, we did not move, we barely breathed. That is, until a slim shadow cast over us.

It was Naminé. She was looking down at us, not with scorn, and neither with understanding. But as if she knew that this was exactly where she expected us to be, and that she knew this exact situation was going to happen. A sniff escaped my nose and she sighed deeply. Her eyes softened as she spoke.

"C'mon Kairi, lets go to our room." she said evenly, and even possibly, with a small friendly edge. She stuck her slender arm down at me, waiting for me to take it to bring me back to safety. The gesture was simple, uncomplicated, easy. But I just stared up at her quietly, as if it meant everything. If it were any other day, any other time, I would have smiled.

Because I think I had friends.

Sora had supposedly gone over to the front desk as Naminé brought me to our small, in-ornate, safe room. He had told the main secretary that I had had a small meltdown, that no, I did not need a counselor, and that yes, I was with someone and was completely being taken care of. Considering it wasn't a big deal, or however Sora ingeniously depicted the situation to them, they did not take any further action, and gave a pass to both Kairi and Naminé to not attend dinner that night. Luck, I thought.

So there Naminé and I were, sitting in the warmth of our room on one bed, brush and Kleenex at hand, and both hugging our pillows close to ourselves. I had told her a brief summary of what happened, but only after her insisting that I didn't. But I ignored her and my fatigue from words and told her anyway. In my mind, we had grown closer, and that maybe she deserved to know what happened to me. I think she appreciated that too, and also the fact that I didn't smother my arms up again with a sweatshirt, but left them oddly free for the first time in a long time.

"That's quite a story." she said, her normal, Naminé straightforwardness tone coming back again. I just nodded, staring down at the milky creases of my pillowcase.

She sighed dismissively. "Well, in my opinion, that Riku guy should never even think of going near you again." She said, toying with her nails. And then she said casually, "And if he does…I might just have to pull out my crazy-ass fist and sock him in the face."

I thought of this situation carefully, and I couldn't help but let a smile creep up on my lips. I could tell Naminé saw it.

"Well, anyway, I kind of feel sorry for Sora right now as well." I nodded softly along with her comment. "I mean, imagine your best friend moving away and becoming this terrible person who hurt a girl like you, someone he befriended and obviously cares for. I mean…it's probably confusing." a silence stretched after her comment. I couldn't help but agree with her. Sure, it was hard being the one being the target of abuse by the boy. But to have your best friend hurt your other friend? My stomach sunk deep into my system.

"Well, lets not talk about that bastard anymore. I'm sick of him. Now turn around and let me comb out that mess you call hair." she said without a tone of a question. I only nodded, actually happy for the change in tone of this conversation, and turned around so that I faced the headboard of my bed as she took my hair into her hands. I felt her reach for the brush on my left side, and began to tug at my hair.

"You have got some got some split ends, honey. I can lend you some of my damage remedy conditioner and that should tune it back up. You do have fabulous hair, if I do say so myself." she rambled on, tugging at my neck and hair.

A loud squeak emit from Naminé's mouth and I jumped in surprise. "Oh! I just had the most wonderful ide-a!" she sang animatedly, turned my shoulder hard so that I could face her. "How about," she continued, "I cut your hair and make it amazing again? Trust me, I'm a professional. I used to cut all of my family's hair before I came to this place. Oh! And how about I do your nails as well?" her eyes glittered as she asked me these questions, excited that I would obviously have no say in being her new object of creation. Before I could even open my mouth, a large smile spread across her face.

"Great!" she said and she jumped off of the bed, making me bounce up and down from the springs, "I have this nail polish that was actually approved by The Center; no dangerous toxins to inhale or ingest. I mean, its not great, but it's definitely something. Here, choose a color." just as quickly as she said this did a white bag filled with clanking bottles land in front of me. I opened it slowly, and saw it filled with makeup of the same, supposedly approved brand.

"And no, you may not ask to wear black nail polish. It's cynical! I don't care if it's coming in fashion nowadays, you wouldn't catch me dead in that color." she rambled, sitting back down in front of me and rolling her eyes with every word. I just stared at her silently, innocently. And shook my head.

"I wasn't going to ask for black…" I said quietly, averting my eyes away from hers. I could see her through the corner of my eye smiling slightly. But it soon disappeared.

"Good. Trust me, especially in a place like this, black only screams 'I have problems'. So, I've just decided on the color for your nails." she continued, obviously forgetting that she asked for me to pick a color. "How about a maroon-ish red? It would match your hair, anyway. And after I fix up your hair, you will look fabulous. And plus, I don't think light colors would compliment your pail skin…" I only nodded, and then tried to open my mouth to say something, to thank her, to say words I had ignored for so long. I had taken for granted on what kind of roommate I had. But she interjected.

"Shut it." she said, as if reading my mind, "Don't say anything, and stick your pretty little hands out to me so I can put the base coat on you. Oh, how I wish I could push your cubicles back with something easier than cheap plastic! Damn Center, wont me let me bring in my nail-necessities…"

And that's how it went for the rest of the night. Us, in the silence of our room as she rambled on about one thing or another, seemingly forgetting that we were in a prison, a freak house. We were normal, I was normal. And maybe that's why she was doing this for me.

I smiled lightly as she continued to blabber, focusing closely on my nails. Because I had another friend to add to my list. A list that was just beginning, and a list that meant a lot.

That night, as I lay in bed, I listened to the darkness. Listened to what it had to say to me, snaring me in my own guilty pleasures with its cool, wisps of mist. It tasted like before, when I was in full rage with that addiction, with that pain. But I didn't let it pass through me, didn't let it soak into my finger tips and taint my veins with its ways. I ignored it. I felt a light in the distance, beckoning me, coming closer. But my eyes were closed, waiting for that certain nightmare that never came.

And one that may never come again.

So, yay or nay? Why dontcha review and tell me? Atta' boy! Almost at 100 reviews!

Hope you enjoyed, don't flame too hard. :)