*disclaims* Enjoy. I don't have a beta, so all errors 'belong' to me.
XXXXXX
Love, Divya knew, was complicated.
There was friendship, and there was family. There was the kind of love you felt for someone who felt safe, a love of comfort—such as the love she'd had for Raj.
There was another sort though. The kind that could sneak up on you and make you doubt everything and anything you'd ever felt before.
The idea that Divya could love Evan seemed ridiculous, impossible and highly unlikely.
It was also probably true, at least as far as Divya seemed to feel.
It had surprised her.
She hadn't wanted it, she hadn't seen it coming.
She was also apparently lying to herself. She could have seen it coming if she'd been paying attention.
The truth was that she hadn't let herself think about it. She'd spent so much time insisting to herself and anyone who would listen that she loved Raj, that she hadn't let herself pay attention to the small things.
Like the way he made her laugh, even when she simultaneously wanted to smack him. Like the way he was loyal, to a fault, to those who mattered to him.
Like the way her heart beat a little faster whenever she was around him—a phenomenon she'd attributed to the fact that he drove her crazy.
Now she felt foolish. She'd broken things off with Adam because it was wrong to be with him.
She'd wanted her freedom. She'd sat with Evan, just looking out at the ocean, and she'd known. She'd known that what she really wanted was more out of life. And then, when she'd gone to share her news with Evan—for reasons she couldn't even begin to explain, as she didn't understand them herself—she'd seen something.
For a brief moment she'd seen Evan—kindly, funny, amazing Evan. Then Paige had shown up, and it was all wrong. Someone like Evan didn't belong with someone like Paige. He needed someone with more . . . determination, someone who would challenge him and make him be a better man.
He needed Divya.
Divya couldn't have answered if you'd asked her when she'd fallen for Evan, because she simply didn't know the answer.
She just knew that she felt something when she was with him—a sort of intensity, a softness. When she was with him, she didn't feel alone, and she felt safe. But she also felt inspired, and amused and . . . maybe she was just reading too much into the situation, she assured herself.
Kissing Evan had just been . . . wow. But maybe that had been the adrenaline, maybe they weren't compatible. The only way to find out though was to try again and see what happened.
Divya wasn't running away from love, she was seeking it at full-speed.
XXXX
Evan wasn't expecting her.
Divya stood in front of him, rambling on about something reasonably insignificant, as he grew increasingly curious as to why she'd shown up at his doorstep.
"Divya, why are you really here?"
Divya stopped in the middle of her sentence as he interrupted her. "I just wanted to talk about the—"
"Don't lie to me. Obviously, you're not here to complain about the new design of the HankMed website. You don't really care." He looked at her, concerned. "Are you okay?"
Divya closed her eyes and breathed deeply. That he seemed to be able to read her didn't make this any easier. He knew her—somehow better than she'd ever given him credit for. "I've been thinking . . . " she drifted off.
"Well, um, thinking is usually a good thing. About what?"
Divya didn't know what to say, so the words came out of her without her control, without being filtered through her brain. "Paige. Is she really right for you?"
Evan stared at her as if she'd lost her mind. "I don't see how that would be any of your business, but we're okay. We're . . . happy."
"Are you really? Is it just, 'oh, this is nice' or 'this could be nice forever'? Is she it, is she the one, the person you want to love forever?"
Evan thought for a few seconds, actually considering her question. "Maybe. I don't know. But Divya, why are you asking? Why would you care?"
"I thought you said we were friends, Evan."
"We are, but—"
With that Divya interrupted him by placing her lips on his in a kiss.
"What the hell was that?" Evan asked her after she pulled away, staring at her, obviously shocked and confused.
"I wanted to make sure."
"Of what? That you've lost your mind? Because I can verify that if you need me to," he joked semi-seriously.
Divya looked at him sadly. "I wanted to see if there was something between us."
"Is there?"
"Evan, I think you know as well as I do what the answer is." Divya stared at him, slightly dizzy because of the sensation she'd felt while kissing him.
"I wish you hadn't done that." Evan said softly.
Divya, hearing that, felt her heart clench. "Fine. We can pretend I didn't." And she left him alone with his thoughts.
XXXX
Hours after the kiss, Evan finally stormed over to Divya as she walked along the beach, apparently unaware of the storm currently brewing.
"Why would you do that to me?"
Divya looked up at him in surprise. "Evan, what are you doing here?"
"Divya, answer the question."
"What did I do to you?"
"You ruined it. Divya, I've had feelings for you practically since the first time you insulted me. When I found out you were engaged to Raj it nearly broke my heart. I tried to convince myself that you didn't love him, or that he didn't love you. But Raj is a nice guy, Divya. And then you broke things off. But not because of me, but because of Adam, and that hurt. I told myself, over and over again, that it didn't mean anything, that I don't care about you in that way. I finally managed to convince myself, and then you come along and try to change the game. It hurts, Div." The words seem to explode out of him in a slight scream, as if he'd been holding them in for so long all he could do was let them out.
Divya looked at him, her eyes watering slightly. "You never said anything."
"What was I supposed to say, Div? Half the time you seem to hate me, and the other half I just don't even know. But now things are different. I'm with Paige."
It sounded final and ominous.
"Evan, I—"
"Divya, you make me crazy." Evan placed his hand on her cheek. "I loved you, but I made myself stop."
"I—"
"Divya, please let me finish," Evan grabbed his hair with his left hand in a nervous gesture. "Actually, you know what? Nevermind. You should probably just get inside. This weather is pretty awful. We don't need to have this conversation."
Divya looked into his eyes, searching for something, though she wasn't even particularly sure what. "I care for you, Evan."
"It doesn't matter."
Divya started to turn around walk away. Evan watched as she walked away. She got about five steps away before she turned on her heel and closed the gap between them quickly, jumping into his arms and kissing him with everything she was, and everything she wanted to be with him.
His hands, he would assure himself later, only went around her out of surprise. He didn't pull away because, again, he had been surprised. He kissed back because there was an attractive woman in his arms. It wasn't because she was Divya, and he was Evan. It wasn't because no matter how hard he tried he couldn't stop loving her.
He was, of course, lying to himself.
Divya stepped back suddenly, pulling away from the intensity of the kiss. "I'll see you later, Evan."
"Yeah." It was all he could say.
XXXX
When in doubt, Evan believed firmly in the power of going to his brother for advice.
"What do you want now, Evan?" Hank asked, barely looking up from his dinner.
"Just to talk."
"Then talk."
"Divya kinda said something today that made me think—"
"Good for Divya."
Evan pretended to laugh, "Ha. Ha. So clever, Hank."
"I like to think so."
"She said she has feelings for me."
Hank looked up in surprise, "I thought she was dating that guy Adam."
"She was. Not anymore. Apparently she—wow, when I say this it sounds impossible."
"Evan, just tell me what happened." Hank prodded gently.
"She kissed me, and she said she has feelings for me. And then I yelled at her."
Hank facepalmed. "Why would you do something like that?"
"I told her that she hurt me. I spent so much time trying so desperately to not love her, I can't just turn my emotions on and off like that." Evan said, slightly annoyed.
"Evan, why did you tell me you didn't love Divya when I mentioned it to you right after she started dating Adam and you were giving her a hard time?"
Evan thought carefully, "Because I don't want to love her."
"Why not?"
"Because she doesn't—didn't love me." Realization dawned. "But Paige—"
"Are you in love with Paige?"
Evan shook his head, "No."
"Is she in love with you?"
Evan cocked his head to the side, "Not really."
"Then why would you give up being with the woman you're in love to be with her?"
"I wouldn't," Evan replied. "I need to—"
"You need to fix things."
"How do I do that?"
"You know Divya, what does she need?" Hank asked, slightly exasperated, and a little bemused.
"Thanks Hank," Evan said without answering the question, his mind already working a mile a minute. "I need to—"
"Just go. Good luck."
Evan walked closer and patted his brother on the shoulder. "Thanks," then he left.
He had a plan.