Ah, I'm so sorry this so short! Originally, I was going to have this chapter and the previous chapter be one, but it was getting really long, and I wanted to post something already, so I cut it off at what I thought was the best spot. So yeah, this chapter is shorter than average. It's still longer than the first chapter, though! And later chapters will be long, don't worry!

Disclaimer: I don't own Hetalia. But I do own a pair of lucky cats! So cute!

Alright, time to reply to anonymous reviews!

anon:

Arthur makes me daww a lot too. He's just so clueless sometimes, but it makes him so cute! And don't worry, you'll find out what happens to Kiku in this chapter~!

Tsu:

Ah! Thanks for such a long review, it made me so happy! Canada is awesome. He's so underappreciated, don't you think? And Arthur's kinda childish in general, he just tries to hide it by acting like a gentleman. I don't particularly like French food either, but hey, at least it'd be edible, right? I hope I'm not foreshadowing too heavily… Especially since I haven't fully worked out for myself what's going to happen in later chapters… But it'll all work out somehow! And don't worry, your English is great! Thanks again for the great reviews! ^.^

Igi-tan:

I thought about stealing your idea…but even if you added food coloring to the meat, it wouldn't really look any different. Oh well. And Arthur could never just buy food and pass it for his own! For one, proper gentlemen do not cheat. And besides that, there is nothing wrong with his cooking! It's perfectly fine! Shut up!

Bexx:

Aw, thanks! I'm glad you like it!

Thanks for the support, everyone! Now onto the story!

"Mattie! Matt! Dearest brother of mine who I love ever so much!"

The boy in question groaned. "Alfred, don't tell me you need help again."

"Um…kinda?" the older brother said, looking sheepish. "I just don't get how you cook this!"

"Well for one thing, you're not supposed to add relish to the meat before you cook it," Matthew remarked.

"But wouldn't that be convenient? I mean, that way you wouldn't have to put it on later!"

"Not really. It'd just ruin the patty and probably make it taste pretty weird."

"But the recipe you gave me is so boring! I want to spice it up a bit somehow!"

"Then why don't you actually add some spices or something?"

"…huh?"

Geez, why was his brother so dense? "Add some spices to the meat. It's not that hard."

"But what spices? Mattie, you're the cook, I don't know any of this!"

"Oh, I don't know! It's not like I cook hamburgers on a regular basis or anything! Try some paprika or some coriander or something."

"Those sound like diseases."

"Alfred, those are fairly commonly known spices."

"…I knew that."

Matthew swore to himself that he would never try to get Alfred to help in the kitchen. He'd need so much help that he'd be more of a hindrance than a help.

Arthur wasn't having much more luck with his scones, not that he'd admit it. He'd gotten a recipe book on the way home so that he would not have to deal with Mint's nagging, but…

He found himself constantly disagreeing with the book. Whoever had wrote this obviously could learn a thing or two about making proper British scones.

"Cream of Tartar," he read. "What on earth is that? I've never used anything like that before. Do they mean that creamy stuff in tartar sauce? I certainly can't think of anything else it could be. I suppose it's worth a shot. Mint certainly seemed to think that following a recipe would be good."

Luckily, Arthur always had a good supply of tartar sauce on hand, seeing as it went so well with the fish and chips he often had. He poured some into a bowl and separated all the little chunks of pickles and other such things from the "cream" of it.

"Alright, it looks as if I've got all the other ingredients. Everything else looks more normal of things to put into scones."

He read the next line. "Preheat the oven to 425 degrees. That seems a lot hotter than I usually have my oven at. And bugger, this oven doesn't even go that high! I suppose I'll just turn it as high as it goes, then." Arthur had somehow failed to notice that the recipe meant 425 degrees in Fahrenheit, not in the Celsius scale that he was used to.

Time for the next step. "Sift the flour, cream of tartar, baking soda, and salt into a bowl. Hm, the tartar does not seem to want to sift very well. Oh well, I suppose I'll just have to use a mixer then. Wait, no, I'd forgotten that was dirty. I guess it can't be helped; I'll use the blender." Sadly, he then forgot to put the lid on the blender, and bits of the mixture flew everywhere.

"I'll just have to clean that up when I am done, no big damage done. Alright, this looks fairly well mixed no, so next step. Rub in the butter until the mixture resembles fine breadcrumbs? That sounds like nonsense. Why would you want the scones to be in little tiny pieces? I'll just have to add extra butter so that it all sticks together well like it's supposed to."

He was going to need a lot more butter. "Mint—" he started to call, but then he remembered where she was. When Arthur had gotten home from school, he had found her, after some searching, curled up in the very corner of the couch in the living room and fast asleep. He did not want to disturb her now, so he decided to be as quiet as possible.

He wondered what she had been doing that would have taken so much energy out of her. The energetic sprite usually had plenty of energy for the day, and then some. She must have been doing something with magic, he figured, though he wasn't quite sure what. That was the only thing he knew of that could tire her out so easily.

Arthur chuckled. The little sprite looked an awful lot cuter when she was asleep than awake. She was a lot quieter, for one. Though he was curious, he decided he could wait until Mint woke up to ask her what she had been doing. But for now, she looked like she deserved some sleep.

Besides, he had a scone recipe to get back to!

The next day at school, it almost seemed like Alfred was avoiding Arthur, much to the Brit's surprise. But he just assumed that the American was excited about the stupid cooking contest that was going on that evening. He always did get overly excited about the most random things. Well, his Alfred back in his world did, anyways. Arthur still wasn't quite sure just how similar or different the two of them were.

He certainly was not looking forward to this random contest that Alfred had created. It may have been obvious that he was going to be the winner, but it was still taking up too much of his precious time. Instead of cooking (not practicing) scones, he could have been working on a way to get out of this world and back into his own.

He could always back out, he supposed. But by this point, his pride wouldn't let him. And besides that, he had to admit, it was rather…nice to be able to do something like this with Alfred again. This Alfred certainly seemed to have a better head on his shoulders when it involved dealing with other people. If only there wasn't that stupid wager he had insisted on…

Arthur froze. He'd forgotten all about the bloody wager! Not that he'd lose or anything, but he still needed to work on a background story for himself. Where did he come from, why was he here now, what were his parents like; the typical things he could be expected to answer. Anything about having parents would be hard to make convincing for the long period of time that he would need his story to work for. Perhaps he would just plain say that he had no family of his own. Right, like that would help him attract less attention. Alfred would probably pounce on something like that right away.

"I suppose Mint's help would come in handy with this," he murmured to himself, barely speaking out loud.

Sadly, Alfred still managed to hear him somehow. "Huh? Who's Mint?" he asked through a bite of hamburger. It was lunchtime, and though the American had stayed away from Arthur the whole day so far, he had still decided to plop down next to him at his lunch table once again. But luckily, today the others were once more sitting at their own table a little ways away.

No, he did not feel a little upset seeing that they apparently didn't want to sit with him for a second time. He was perfectly fine on his own, thank you very much. And no, Alfred did not count. Arthur was simply stuck with him, was all. It wasn't his fault.

"Mint's just…a friend of mine."

"Hm. Mint's a cute name. Maybe you could, y'know, introduce us sometime." Alfred said, grinning.

Oh for goodness sakes. Alfred wasn't actually considering hitting on a three-inch tall sprite, was he? Granted, he probably didn't even know that sprites existed, much less that Mint was one herself, but still! The very idea! "I highly doubt you could spark anything with her," he said carefully, chuckling a little to himself.

"Hey, you never know!" he protested. "I'm pretty popular with the ladies, you know!"

"I'm sure you are." Arthur rolled his eyes and took another bite of the pot roast he had brought for his lunch. By the Queen, there were not many dishes better than pot roast, even when it was leftover.

"Whatever. Anyways," Alfred said as he leaned closer across the table, his voice going quieter (for him). "You haven't forgotten about our wager, have you?"

Arthur glared at him. "O-obviously," he bluffed. He had hoped there was a slim chance that it would have slipped Alfred's mind, however. He was not looking forward to this. Well, he'd just have to win. Then the American would finally stop hounding him constantly for his story. At least, he hoped he would actually stop for good.

Alfred wasn't sure why he was sitting next to the new kid at lunch all the time now. He didn't even like the guy. After all, he was rude, he didn't want to tell anyone about his family of all things, and besides all that, right now he was Alfred's rival! Oh, he was excited. This evening, he was going to make the Brit spill all his evil plots and things! He'd be the ultimate hero! Hero Alfred F. Jones, savior of the school! Yeah, that'd be awesome.

He'd been avoiding him all day. He hadn't even spoken to him once, which was something he'd been particularly proud of He'd come into the lunchroom with all intensions of sitting with his friends Gilbert, Elizabeta, and Ludwig, but somehow he'd ended up going over to the Brit's table instead. Why?

He looked lonely, a voice inside him said, but he pushed that aside. Why would he care if his rival looked lonely? But somehow, he just couldn't find it in him to leave the table.

Oh, who cared. It wasn't like the Brit was going turn him evil from the two of them just sitting next to each other or anything. And besides, if he acted friendly, the Brit might open up to him and spill his devious secrets anyways! Ha! Alfred gave himself a mental pat on the back for his quick thinking and reasoning skills.

He slurped his soda, sneaking a quick glance at the kid from over the rim of his cup. Well… Y'know, maybe Kiku had a point. The guy wasn't all that bad… He hadn't even brought up that first day when they had embarrassingly run into each other twice. A lot of people Alfred knew wouldn't think twice about holding that over somebody, especially if said somebody was someone with a "coolness" reputation like he had. And even if he was kinda rude, it wasn't like he was violent or had an overly dirty mouth or anything. Oh, he was definitely hiding something, something big, and Alfred was determined to find it out. But once the threat of evilness was over (with either Arthur not hiding anything that big or with the hero managing to get him to reform, Alfred preferring the latter), then maybe, oh, he didn't know, they could…hang out sometime or something? With Kiku, of course.

When Alfred would look back, he'd say that he didn't really know when Operation: Get Evilness Out Of The School became honest interest in having Arthur as a friend. Maybe it was at this point, maybe it was later, or maybe it had started even earlier, back when he'd seen those intense emerald eyes come at him from around the corner in the courtyard. But one thing was for certain: though Alfred would grudgingly admit his budding feelings of companionship for Arthur, the Brit was going to take a lot more convincing before he would give in.

"Well? What are you waiting for?" Arthur asked impatiently.

Kiku looked uncertain. "A-are you sure, Arthur-san?"

"What? It's not like it's poison or anything."

The Japanese boy wasn't so sure, and neither was the American one. "You sure about that?" Alfred asked, crinkling up his nose in disgust. "Even I wouldn't eat that, and I've eaten some pretty weird things in my time."

"It's fine!" Arthur snapped. "It just looks a little off in this lighting, is all."

"Right… If by 'a little off,' you mean it looks like something barfed on it."

"It's a nut and berry glaze!" the Brit exclaimed, exasperated. "And it's not my fault I grabbed the wrong food coloring bottle. I thought I had red, but I put yellow in with the blue instead. It was a simple mistake, it could have happened to anybody!"

"Please, stop your fighting!" Kiku cried in his usual soft voice. "Alfred-san, I tried yours, ah, interesting as it was, so it is only fair that I try Arthur-san's as well." But he really, truly did not want to. This just screamed food poisoning. But a food contest was a food contest, and Kiku took his food very, very seriously.

Steeling himself, he looked again at the dish that Arthur had brought. At least Alfred had brought something normal; he had brought hamburgers, ones that tasted odd, probably from some strange spices that he had decided to put on, but at least they looked normal and had been edible. This, on the other hand… This looked like an explosion on a plate. Kiku was fairly sure that they were supposed to be scones, but they were not like any scones that he had seen before. They looked like they had been dipped in a radioactive vat.

The scones themselves were rather colorless, and they resembled slabs of grey-toned mush that had solidified in the rough shape of a normal triangular scone. To help brighten them up, Arthur had added a glaze on top. But for some reason, apparently because he'd managed to mix red and yellow up, the glaze was a putrid green instead of a purple that would have gone at least somewhat well with the berries and nuts that were mixed in. Wait… Kiku leaned closer, inspecting the mix.

"Ah, Arthur-san, exactly what kind of nuts do you have here?" They didn't seem like any kind that he had seen before.

Ignoring Alfred's stiffed giggling (immature git, that's what he was), Arthur said "Oh, those are horse chestnuts. Chestnuts are perfectly fine to cook with, aren't they?"

Kiku blanched. Did Arthur not realize that horse chestnuts were not edible? He suddenly feared slightly for his life. But he took his duties very seriously, and right now, his duty was to judge this contest. Here goes nothing, I suppose, he thought nervously. He raised the scone to his mouth and took a miniscule bite, being very careful to avoid the inedible chestnuts.

He had not even swallowed his bite when the taste started to make him feel nauseous. The scone texture was gummy, the scone flavor bland yet strangely spiced, and the glaze was overpoweringly tangy. Perhaps separated, the scone and glaze could possibly be somewhat edible, but as they were combined, the result was unfit for human consumption.

Pretending to cough slightly, Kiku managed to spit the mouthful of scone into the napkin that he had been holding. It was obvious to him that Arthur could not possibly be named the victor. At least Alfred's hamburgers had been perfectly edible.

But there were other factors weighing on him. He knew Alfred, and he had the feeling that he had made some sort of bet with Arthur, even though the American had not mentioned a word about such a thing. So if he declared Alfred the winner, than Arthur would likely be in a troublesome position. He rather did want to be friends with the Brit, and putting him at Alfred's mercy would not be a good thing to do. Putting anybody at Alfred's mercy was not good, of course, but especially not somebody whom he hoped to call a friend.

But no, as much as he yearned to, he simply could not give an unjust ruling. His pride and honor would not let him. He looked over at the two boys who were staring at him in anticipation. Arthur looked calm and collected, like he was sure he would win. Alfred just looked antsy, impatient as ever.

Kiku sighed. He would probably regret this later, but…

"I declare the winner to be…"

"Yes?" Alfred asked, eyes shining with excitement. He bounced on his heels, as if preparing to jump in victory.

"Yes?" Arthur asked at the same time as the American. He crossed his arms, a smug smile already starting to form on his face.

"…Alfred." Kiku finished, looking down quickly.

Arthur's jaw dropped so dramatically that it was almost audible. Alfred jumped far into the air, and he fist pumped as he cried "YES! What now, Brit boy? And you know what comes next!"

Arthur quickly closed his mouth, and a worried expression settled on his face. Oh dear. What was he going to do now?

Oh, poor Arthur! How on earth could he have lost?

And yes, I did have too much fun writing about how weird his scones ended up. I enjoy the randomest things…

Oh yeah, I almost forgot. I'm going to be taking a bit of a break from this, because there's a bunny that's been rolling around in my head for a while now, and I want to write it! It'll be a Christmas-themed collection of oneshots with various pairing. The title is Advent Calendar, and I'm going to try to have the first chapter up on Thursday, so look out for it! I dunno how many chapters it will have, it'll depend on the reception it gets.

But in the meantime, please review this story! It needs some review love! And I have another of Arthur's recipes to threaten you with again in case you don't want to! Haha!