Sam's POV

Apologize? Pfft. I will never do that for that jerk-face! Not even for two weeks of free bacon! Argh! I feel so mad right now! I feel like vandalizing the principal's glass window, placing another turtle in the teachers' toilet or pulling the fire alarm so that I could skip class!

But wait, classes are over. Even if I vandalize the principal's glass window, no one would know. Even if I place another turtle in the teachers' toilet, no one would go there. Even if I pull the fire alarm, there's no class.

"AHHHH!" I yelled out to the open seas. It's one of the best places to vent your frustrations or to play with pebbles. I'll go with the first one. "FREDFACE! YOU'RE THE WORST PERSON I'VE EVER MET!"

I'll admit it. No matter how many times I say this, I never mean it. No matter how many times I try to break his bones, I know that my forces would not be as great as to break it. No matter how many times I try to torture him, I will never feel good.

"Sam Puckett," I mumbled to myself. "What are you doing? Your best friends are dating now, you should be happy for them."

I stared at myself in the water's reflection as it replied strictly, "But you aren't happy about it, are you? You're feeling sad, mad, angry, all the unpleasant feelings all at once."

"I guess you're right, reflection," I named the other 'me' with the simplest name I could think of. "I don't know why I should feel this way. I mean, when I beat Gibby up, I feel a sense of satisfaction. But when I do the same to Fudgeface, it felt weird..."

"You're falling for the nub?" Reflection decided to be straight-forward. "You're not supposed to let that happen."

"I know, I know," I tried to explain. "But I don't know why but I feel the same kind of guilt that I felt when I finished the last plate of ham in my fridge whenever I punch him. Although my face would let out a little smile, it's not genuine, you know?"

Reflection sighed. "I guess I understand what you're talking about. Remember Jonah?"

"The jerk who belonged on the wedgie bounce for the rest of his life?" I smiled at that memory. "Why did you bring him up?"

"I kind of felt sorry for him when he was tricked to go up on that wedgie bounce," she started. "But then, I felt nothing anymore."

I frowned. "Why?"

"He was a jerk to me," Reflection sighed. "Jerks are meant to be tortured. They have to learn that we are not stupid and they must know not to overestimate themselves."

"But Pete wasn't a bad dude," I recalled. "Why didn't I feel that sense of guilt when we parted ways?"

"Because you found someone else, Sam," Reflection looked at me intensely. "You've found a guy who would do anything for you. He would let you hurt him even when he knows that it would hurt, a lot. He would help you when you need him. He would give you everything and expect nothing in return. He would-"

I interrupted her. "Stop. You don't understand. I don't even understand a thing about what I'm feeling right now. My best friends are dating and I can't even stand a second watching them suck each other's face off."

"You don't have to stand it."

"Ugh... Reflection, you will never understand!" I yelled at myself in the water and stood up, turning around while I found myself face to face with... him...

"Reflection?" he teased. "Were you talking to yourself back there?"

I pushed him away; he was too close for comfort. Then, I stood up straight and frowned. That was one of the things that I have found myself most accustomed to doing.

"What did you hear?" I asked, looking at him with hatred.

"Hmm... About your best friends sucking each other's face off and you not being able to stand a second of it," he smiled. "And how your reflection will never understand you, which is a funny thing considering it is part of your imagination."

I cursed. "Shut up, Freddork. You should be lucky that I am not in the mood to give you any gifts for today."

"I guess so," he replied nonchalantly. That sounded like a challenge. He's getting on my nerves and he hasn't even been here for two minutes. "What's the matter? You sound a little cranky today. Has the baby not gotten herself enough sleep?"

"When did challenging me become your hobby?" I asked. "I thought your hobby was making peanut butter with your mom, taking tick baths with your mom and knitting with your mom."

He looked at me, probably a little mad at what I just said about his mother. "My mom is a very important person in my heart, you know?"

"More important than Carly?" I asked. "Because the last time I heard, Carly was the most important person in your heart."

"And when was that?" he sounded calm, as if he was thinking.

I hesitated to answer. Sure, I made that up. But it was just so I could get him mad. "It doesn't matter. Now, go back to your little girlfriend, lover boy, and go suck each other's faces off for all I care."

"Woah, woah, woah... Hold on a sec," he placed his hands in front of him in a pushing motion to emphasize on the 'woahs'. "You think Carly and I are dating?"

I was silent.

"So that's what it was all about?" he snickered. "You think that when Carly and I date, you're going to be left out, so you're cranky about it? Ha! Sam Puckett has finally admitted that she's a coward! Benson 1, Puckett 0!"

"What are you talking about?" I asked. "You were asking Carly if she was going to be your girlfriend. And from the looks of it, she was about to say 'yes'!"

He smiled. "It was a rehearsal. I wanted to ask someone else, so I asked Carly to help me rehearse."

"You're such a nub," I teased. "Who would rehearse for such occasions? Rehearsals are for losers."

"If you say so," he stood up.

"Hey," I looked up at him. "Since I'm feeling much better right now, I'll bring you to see your seventh gift."

He frowned. "Oh no, you don't. It's probably something that may kill me right? I just recovered from my allergies!"

"Chillax," I exclaimed. "We're just going to the park."

He looked at me doubtfully. "Just the park?"

"Just the park," I comfirmed with him. "Come on, let's go."

We took a bus down to the park that I wanted to show him. It wasn't a long ride, it just took five minutes to reach there.

"Here we are," I smiled in pride.

"Where's my gift?" he asked.

"Getting a little impatient back there, aren't you?" I teased. "We'll just have to wait a while. They'll be here soon."

He frowned for the gazillionth time today; I was lazy to count. "They?"

"They're here! They're here!" I pulled his sleeve excitedly. "Now, just be quiet, or you'll scare them away."

"Who are th-" he was cut off by the scene in front of him. Perfect. "SWANS!"

I laughed as the swans who were swimming peacefully in the pond fluttered their wings in panic at the sound of Fredpus's shrieking.

"Gosh, Fudgeface," I laughed so hard my stomach hurt. "I didn't know you were such an anti-swan nub!"

Everyone was watching us as I laughed at his misery. Some people who had phones with cameras with them took pictures and videos of the pathetic tech-producer of iCarly.

I swear, those videos they took would be some of the featured videos on Splashface tomorrow. I'm sure of it!