AN: Late update… School really sucks!

I'm glad some of you said you liked the last chapter! I hope that Gilbert thinks of a good plan to get Mattie to sleep with him… And I hope he gets good advice from Francis. (Of course I already know ;)

Anyway, I posted the first of my Halloween one-shots so please feel free to read and review the fluff!

And review this chapter so Mattie can hug you! (I really do put this in the authors note for everything I write!)

June 26th

I AM AWESOME!

And Francis is definitely not. I can't believe the awesome me needed advice from a perverted wino. But, it was to be able to sleep with Mattie so I guess it's worth it.

So I walked into the house and of course it smelled like fucking roses. I shouldn't have been surprised; I mean the man calls himself the master of l'amour. Whatever the fuck he's trying to prove by making up a fucking stupid as hell name for himself. Just because you sleep with almost every god damn nation these is doesn't mean you're the master of love.

Anyway, the non-awesome father of my… interest… was all excited because apparently I was finally admitting that I loved Mattie. When he said that I punched him and changed the subject because not only had I not told him who it was, he pisses me off.

So after that episode, he asked what I needed help with. I told him the whole damn story, including the fact that I wanted to fuck his son.

Then, the French asshole had the nerve to say "Oh, so you do have feelings for Mathieu. You should tell him… I'm sure he feels the same way."

I then proceeded to punch him once more. He pretty much questioned my awesome. "Of course I do asshole. And why wouldn't he want someone as awesome as me. I'm not telling him any shit though because I want to fuck him first to make sure it isn't just sex you damn idiot." Honestly, some people just don't listen.

Francis just laughed at me, pissing me off even more. "Of course, you will have to watch at for Alfred though; he doesn't like you so much."

He had to bring up the "hero." It was obvious that I am just too awesome for the American to understand!

"What ever."

Then, the French wino finally started to give some good ideas that I am going to have to try because I really want to fuck Mattie right now. For an idiot, he comes up with pretty good ideas.

I then threatened his life so that he wouldn't tell anyone that the awesome me needed help before leaving.

Now, I'm going to try the plan that Francis recommended the most tomorrow night. I already called Mattie and he said that he's free.

~TheAwesomeMe

June 27th

I AM AWESOME!

So today I'm going to seduce Mattie. I will finally be able to sleep with my birdie! Gilbook, you can't even understand the awesomeness of this news.

So the plan is: way too fucking romantic for my tastes but, Francis swore that it would work. If it doesn't I get to kill him… and then bring him back to come up with a new plan.

One of the biggest problems is that according to Francis, for any of these plans to work me and Mattie have to be fucking sober. This creates a problem for me. If I'm going to fuck Matthew while we're sober, he has to want it as much as I do. Well, I shouldn't have to worry about that because… I'm awesome!

So the plan is:

1.) Invite Mattie to come over after sending my brother to Feli's

2.) Make sure to have plenty of roses on hand

3.) Spread some rose petal on the damn bed as if I was Francis which is a really pansy-like thing to do.

4.) Keep Mattie down stairs while I seduce him subtlety

5.) Invite Mattie up to my room

6.) Sweet talk and praying that Mattie will let me have sex with him.

So that's the plan. I don't think it'll work but, Francis seemed pretty damn sure that it would so I guess I'll have to see. Matthew is his son so maybe the romantic pansy shit will actually get me somewhere.

What do you think Gilbook?

You probably agree with me seeing as you're a fucking book that has to agree with me. Don't worry about that too much... you're an incredibly awesome book so that's alright. You also have Gilbird on your cover so you are win!

Wish me luck (even though I'm too awesome to need it)

~TheAwesomeMe

AN: So will Gilbert's pansy plan work? I wonder…. I hope it does for his sanity!

I love Francis repeatedly getting punched for trying to help XD I almost made him do it again for the laughs! (I love Francis anyway though!)

I hope you guys liked this and I hope you will review. Also if you want to make a Halloween suggestion I'm still taking them!