AN: I know, I know… long time between updates which makes me sad and feel bad for all of you who read these things. Well, I'm back. I do have a reason for my non-updateingness…. I blame a research paper that the evil AP English teacher has given us to do and finish and whatnot. I also blame the fact that the past few weeks have been kinda rough.

Anyway, I am here with an update and as soon as this accursed research paper is finished I will be updating regularly once more. Do expect at least two or three stories to be updated this weekend because I have plenty of ideas! And I also have most of next week of school so wait for it!

Thanks to the awesome reviews I got for the last chapter… they make me smiled a lot. Please review because Mattie hugs you!

July 9th

I AM AWESOME!

And I and Mattie had awesome sex last night! That just rocks so fucking hard that it's ridiculous. I really do love the Canadian. It's crazy to think about and completely insane to realize. I don't know where to go with all of this though. That part is still an issue for both me and Birdie so it's a work in progress.

Although, after last night, who fucking knows anymore. I woke up this morning to no Mattie in my house, anywhere. I went to write in you and I found something written on the very last page.

-Gilbert,

Well, that certainly was a… interesting read. I do apologize for ignoring your privacy though and you're probably going to be pissed at me for it so yell at me if you really want to. I'm sorry. I guess some of the things in here just… took me by surprise…

I think we really need to talk about recent events and this book… please meet me at the park tomorrow. Don't text me or anything before then. Please be there at one. Try not to be late.

~Matthew

When I read that it felt like something inside of me sorta died. I couldn't believe what I was reading. I actually went back and read everything, from start to finish, to see if I had written anything that would upset my Canadian; I don't even know the damn word.

I didn't find anything that would piss him off though. Actually, now that I look back, I think I've been in the process of falling in love with Mattie for a long time and maybe he saw that and that's what he wants to talk about. Or maybe he's pissed because of the fact that I wanted to fuck him and that was about it at one point. Or maybe he decided that after reading my diary, he hates me. Or maybe I should stop being so damn paranoid all the fucking time and just wait till tomorrow to find out when he tells me.

I really can't get Mattie off my mind. It's crazy and I've never been like this with anyone else before in my entire life. I love him and I can't deny it in any way because it's just too damn obvious to me and everyone else in the damn world.

It's awesome and scary and confusing and all of those things that I never thought I'd feel at the same time.

I just thought of something else. What if Mattie decided to listen to his asshole of a brother? Alfred hates me and what if he convinced Birdie to hate me just as much as he does. I really should stop all of this rambling…

~TheAwesomeMe

AN: A short chapter, I know. It needed to be done though. I say this really sadly but, this fic is coming to an end soon. I know how it will end and all. That makes me kind of sad.

I do know that I might have a sequel type thing with Mattie and his diary. That's something for you all to look forward to when this fic is over.

Please review!