Things are looking up, I think…

Nothing, and I mean nothing could compare to how I was feeling, but to me it seems all I do is moan and whine and wait around all day for a prince charming that honestly needs to polish that shining armour of his. Revenge. That word replayed over and over in my mind until that word exploded and all I could see were swimming masses of violent, crude ideas of what I could do to Edward to make him pay. But in reality there was nothing I could do- he was just too strong. Bastard.

I lay back on my bed and threw Wuthering Heights to the floor. How did things end up this way? Did I truly mean so little to him? I sighed and started in a blind panic as my window flew open and I found myself staring at Alice's stone figure. "Christ Alice, you gave me a heart attack." She smiled sadly and sat down at the end of my bed, fidgeting with the ends of her scarf. Something was troubling her. "Are you okay?"

She nodded and looked up at me, "Bella, do you remember last year in Italy?"

I nodded, the room suddenly grew very cold, "Yes. What's that got to do with anything?"

"It's the Volturi." she whispered, "They still insist that we change you." Her face fell and for once I could see how vulnerable and perplexed she was.

"But don't they know that Edward's… lost interest?" I sounded so bitter, and from the way Alice flinched, maybe she too believed this whole ordeal wasn't as unexpected as I had thought. "I mean, me being a vampire- by myself? How would that work?"

She shook her head, "I don't know but if you're not a vampire soon they'll kill you, me and Edward. Really Bella, we are all in danger."

We were silent for a few moments as I registered all of this. A vampire? It would be cool I guess, immortality. And I'd be as hot as ever, I'd be able to kick both Edwards and his new 'friend's' arses. It would be awesome. But what about Charlie? Could I really leave him- all my friends? My mother? I was going to before… for Edward. This time, I'd be doing it simply to keep the ones I once felt were family, alive- well, alive as they were. That was my new reason, I supposed it sufficed. "I'll do it for you Alice, you and every one else. I promised I wouldn't back out."

Alice glanced at me through cynical eyes, "You don't have a choice anyway Bella- but I'm glad I didn't have to force you." She took my hand and stroked it lightly, her skin surprisingly not that much of a contrast against my own. "I'm sorry."

I shrugged, "No biggie." We both heard the shiver in my voice, and I knew we were both aware of how close I was to more tears. "When will it happen?"

She stood up with folded arms, "Soon as Bella. And don't worry, you'll be part of our family, a Cullen."

I closed my eyes gloomily, "I presume Edward was too busy to be telling me this…."

Alice didn't reply. Instead she kissed me lightly on the cheek, "You have two days. I'll come pick you up at eight. We'll say we're having a long girly weekend." And then she was gone.

"Oh Bella what have you gotten yourself into?"

I had said goodbye to Charlie, given him the longest hug and as many kisses I could before he pushed me away with a laugh. If only he knew. If only he was one of those fathers who didn't care about his children. If only this wouldn't break his heart. Alice picked me up as soon as the clock chimed eight and my heart sunk into my stomach, I hadn't anymore time. But she had no sympathy for me, two days she said- and I had tried to make the most of them. She ushered me out of the house and to her car; once we were around the corner and out of Charlie's sight- she spend off Vampire style, which basically means revving the engine until we were practically flying through the night in a man made death machine.

The Cullen house, as beautiful as ever looked like something out of a fairy tale. The house was practically glass, being Vampires the Cullens' needed their freedom- away from the town, this was were they could be themselves. Lights shone out onto the lawn and against the black, diamond studded night sky, it started memories of the summers I had spent in happiness- with Edward, life had been complete bliss, mostly.

"Lets get this show on the road." I sighed, following Alice's slow walk, a death march like tune beating in my head.

Carlisle leant over me, a worried expression on his face. He pottered around looking like a movie star. One of the many spare rooms had been converted into my own mini hospital- he wanted to get this right. I was basically an experiment. There was a knock at the door, and Edward entered, Tanya thank goodness was nowhere in sight.

"Bella," he nodded curtly at me, disapproval clear on his face- this is your fault! I yearned to scream, but knowing him he'd simply cry and go back to Italy. This time it'd be Tanya chasing him. Get over it. I told myself sternly, not for the first time, I was glad he couldn't read my mind. "Carlisle, I think I should do it."

Carlisle turned slowly, for a vampire and glanced at his adoptive son puzzled, "But-"

Edward stopped him, and for a few tense moments nothing happened. The buzzing of the machines and my breathing were the only signs of life in the room. But then Carlisle stepped over to Edward, pulled him into a brief hug and left the room. Edward stared at me blankly.

He stayed like that for what seemed like an eternity until I coughed pointedly and gestured to the machines, "Should we get this over with? Where's Carlisle?"

Edward shuffled in place, "Well, Carlisle isn't turning you- I am…"

I laughed, in fact I sniggered uncontrollably into my hands watching as Edward's face turned stonier and stonier every passing moment. "What do you mean you are?"

He stepped over to me, thinking the words out in his head, "This is my fault Bella and if life was ideal, we would be without all of this fighting. But its not and the Volturi are breathing down our necks. I'm not going to let Carlisle clean up after me anymore. Its not fair on him."

He had a point. This was between us, no one else- except of cause the Volturi who'd happily suck me dry if we didn't go through with it…

"Fine." I whispered clasping my hands together, "Just do it."