Age 6

"Jim Kirk was many things, but he was never a boy scout!" Carol Marcus, "The Wrath of Khan"

Jim stared at the trio of evil, mini-Vulcans – as he had coined them – hands firmly on his hips.

These three geeks were trying to pick a fight with Spock, had even stepped forward menacingly, as if they were supposed to be scary. Which they weren't. They so weren't.

What they were, was idiotic.

Here he and Spock had been, innocently minding their own business as Spock gave him a tour of the weirdest school Jim had ever seen (it had its students studying in bowls. Bowls! How odd was that?) and these morons had come out of nowhere and started to make fun of Spock and his mother.

And while Jim thought Spock was a bit of an uptight stick-in-the-mud, he liked the Lady Amanda very much. She gave the best hugs and she made the Vulcan equivalent of banana bread for him whenever he visited, a fact that should surely elevate her to the level of Goddess. Making fun of her was as bad as making fun of his own mother, which just wasn't happening, in this century or the next.

Besides, Spock might be a bit annoying with his utter determination to obey the rules and believe that the words of adults were golden (Jim said 'ha!' to that… he'd met some stupid adults in his time) but he was Jim's. The only person who got to tease Spock was him.

"You're an idiot. I-d-i-o-t," Jim announced, and when noting that the expressions of their tormentors remained impassive, decided to elaborate. "It means someone who is stupid."

"I am not an idiot. I am in the top 5.6 percent of my class mathematically, scientifically, and in language development," one of the geeks, the tallish one, replied.

Jim snorted.

Jim might be only six, but he was fully aware that there were many kinds of intelligence. His mom had explained it to him once when she had taken him with her to San Francisco for some Starfleet party with really crappy food (there were like these crackers with cream cheese-which Jim hated-and shrimp-which he was allergic to-on them. Starfleet should really look into better food for their parties. He had once overheard his Grandpa Tiberius say that there had been a shortage of people enlisting because of what had happened to Jim's Daddy on the day Jim had been born. If all they served was shrimp crackers, he could see why!)...

Anyway, he remembered his mom's lesson in the many kinds of intelligence because of his trauma over the food.

So at this party with the crappy food this guy named Komack had come along and started chatting up his mom. Jim knew his mother well. When she was displeased with someone she got this little wrinkle on the side of her mouth. That wrinkle was Jim's indicator when to shut-up lest he get put on restriction. This Komack guy obviously didn't know his mother very well because he just kept right on talking even though his mother was getting the wrinkle. If the guy wasn't a grown-up, Winona would have totally sent him to his room.

When the Komack guy finally left, Winona had turned to Jim and said, "Ugh, he is such an idiot."

This confused Jim, because well, the guy had been wearing a Starfleet dress uniform.

"But Mom, he works for Starfleet and he runs things. Don't you have to be smart to do that?"

It was a legitimate question, Jim thought. Both his parents had worked for Starfleet, and while he'd never met his father, he liked to think the man had been smart. Heroes had to be smart, didn't they? And his mother, well, she was the smartest person Jim knew.

"Baby, there are different kinds of smart. There's book-smart and then there's life-smart."

Winona paused, and looked at Jim, to make sure he was following (his Mom did that when she said something she expected him to learn), and at Jim's nod, Winona continued. "That man there? When it comes to life and interacting with people, he's as dumb as a box of rocks."

"Oh," Jim replied, his mind processing this new information.

Jim decided that Vulcans were really, really smart, book-wise, but Jim didn't think they were particularly life-smart. At least not these numb-nuts (his new favorite term, one that Sam had taught him and one he liked to use whenever remotely applicable).

They should have a 'Diversity Day' celebration here on Vulcan like they did at Jim's school back in Iowa, maybe they'd learn a few things.

"Oh, I don't doubt that you're book smart. But when it comes to being smart about life and people you're as dumb as a box of rocks," Jim announced with authority. "The Lady Amanda says that your Vulcan belief of IDIC means that all species are equal and should get along. Just now you were being mean to Spock just because he's half-human, you're going against your own beliefs. And that's just an idiot thing to do. Hey Spock, did you know your classmates are numb-nuts?"

The mean Vulcans blinked, Jim hoped it was because his awesomeness at debating had rendered them speechless, but knew that the sudden silence probably had more to do with the fact that none of them knew what a 'numb-nut' was… Jim didn't either, actually, if he were being honest. It just sounded like a really cool insult.

Spock, however, looked mad. Which Jim totally got, 'cause yeah, he was pretty mad, too.

What he wasn't expecting was for Spock to be mad at him or shooting chastising glares his way. It was a completely shocking reaction. Had he not just defended the guy?

"You do not need to fight my battles for me. I am perfectly able to defend myself," Spock announced, before turning and walking away from Jim, bullies, and all.

Jim could only stand there, completely stunned. That did it! He was marrying Sally Forthead when he grew up, not his numb-nut bondmate. Besides, he and Sally had totally already hooked up last Wednesday Wedding Day at school.