I do not own Harry Potter or anything related.
Harry: Hello everyone! Welcome to the final review special for 'Harry Potter Abridged (With Commentary)'. Hope you've all had a good Christmas! Or Hannukah or Kwanza or whatever else you've celebrated recently. Today we'll be responding to reviews for all chapters from Half-Blood Prince, and characters other than the commentators shall respond. Our first review is from Inhuman8:
Ok, I seriuosly think WB should read these! This was hilarious, and I was thinking about that exact inferi stuff while I was watching the movie for the first time! Plus the Dumbledore thing...first they postpone the movie for 6 months then they screw up almost everything...
Anyway, great new installment!
Commentator: Let's just hope that they include it in the final film after all like they said after removing it from the sixth.
This event occurred before Deathly Hallows came out.
Commentaotr: -What was that, Anon?
Nothing!
Commentator: I thought as much. Our second review is from Lost Feather:
Excellent! The thing with Dumbledore 'screwing the rules' as he apparated out of Hogwarts... I said almost exactly the same thing in the theatre to my friend. Honestly, this movie was quite choppy around the non-romance related plots which was a bit disappointing. And you picked everything up really well, and made me laugh like crazy as usual! I love this work, and I'll be sad when it's over!
(*pokes fred2008* you mean GX and 5Ds? I agree. This is kinda a weird sub-conversation in the reviews...)
Harry: Wait. What weird sub-conversation?
Commentator: Oh there was a conversation among reviewers about whether 'Yu-Gi-Oh' was any good or not.
Hermione: Our third review is from The True Elec:
This was hilarious, and I haven't seen no. 6 yet, though it seems I'm missing very little, damn stupid movies ruining awesome books. I liked the Doctor Who references in there, though I am a nerd. Good to hear we won't have to wait a year for an update.
Commentator: (Eyes shifting from left to right) Um, yeah, of course not. Well, at least it wasn't a whole year you had to wait for it, AAHAHAHAHA. Ah. Broken promises.
Ron: Our fourth review is from Darkgreenpriestess:
Loved Snape's singing XD When I saw this was updated I was so happy! Finally more of my Commentator (LARGE Fangirl)
Snape: Anyone further in my songs can buy my cds.
Dumbledore: Our fifth review is from FaithfulHPreader:
Yeah, the film was terrible, but the parody is hilarious. :)
Although I wouldn't want to wait another year for a chapter, I kinda wish we could get your hilarious opinion on the next two films when they come out...
But whatever, it was great. :)
Commentator: Well after seeing the trailer and the clips it looks like we may have to make parodies for the last two films after all.
Snape: Our sixth review is from Rhr4eva for Philosopher's Stone:
Hello,
Hahahahahahahahahaa this is so funny! I love what you are doing! And all of the digs at his acting. So perfect!
Great work
Rhr4eva
Harry: The digs at who's acting?
Snape: I'll let you make an educated guess.
Harry: Erm…Ron?
Ron: What no!
Harry: Hermione?
Hermione: No!
Harry: Ermmm… Draco's?
Snape: Please stop guessing.
Harry: Kay.
Voldemort: OUR SE-VENTH RE-VIEW IS AL-SO FROM R-H-R-4-E-VA, AND IT'S FOR THE CHAM-BER OF SE-CRETS:
Dumbledore: Why are you talking like that?
Voldemort: Like what? That's how I usually speak isn't it?
Dumbledore: What's with the hyphens?
Voldemort: Oh, just to improve my Dalek impression:
Hello,
Hahahahahahaha :). "Sure. If Harry Potter is able to act like Dobby dropping this pudding would be the most terrible thing to happen." Hahahaha so funny!
Great work
Rhr4eva
Harry: It's nice to know that my acting talents are so amusing to people.
Commentator: Thank you Harry, they were a staple joke in the first few chapters.
Harry: By the way I was being sarcastic.
Commentator: Oh I know. Hey at least we leave you alone after Chamber of Secrets. Many would have continued making fun of your acting; in fact we were very complimentary of your acting the few chapters after that. Except in cases where we felt you overdid it.
Hagrid: Our eighth review is from RHR4EVA for Prisoner of Azkaban:
Hello,
Hahahaha I love in the beginning where Hermione goes, "Tha's no' Albus Dumbledore!" and points out all the changes. :) And I love the part, "Who is- Hermione, you know Gryffindor Boy 1! He's one of the brightes' students 'ere!" Hahahahaha
Great work
Rhr4eva
Dumbledore: Changes? What changes?
Hermione: Oh I don't know. How about like YOU ARE CLEARLY A DIFFERENT PERSON THAN THE DUMBLEDORE FROM THE FIRST TWO FILMS?
Commentator: You know there's a funny thing about that scene. One day Anonymius came across a Billy and Mandy episode where they parodied Harry Potter and you had someone pointing out that the headmaster was a different person from a previous episode and that person was taken out of the room by bouncers. She even looked like Hermione! Creepy.
Professor: Yes because it's oh so hard to point out that Dumbledore is being played by a completely different actor by the smartest student only to be silenced.
MCGonagall: Our ninth review is from RH4eva for Goblet of Fire:
Hello,
Ehh... this one wasn't as funny. It sort of just picked on itself instead of picking on the movie. Like, when you added non-canon scenes, its just picking on itself. And the Cedric thing. He was in the movie, just not in your parody.
Good work
Rhr4eva
McGonagall: Who's Cedric?
(Cedric mumbles in the background)
Commentator: What? Not that funny? But this one is Anonymius' personal favourite! Partely because it's the first one he wrote, years ago. You can tell because there aren't any 'Twilight' references. And we know of course that Cedric was in the movie, we just wanted to point out how underused he was. But honestly I think I liked Robert Pattinson when he was just known as Cedric and not Edward Cullen.
Vernon: Our tenth review is from Rhr4eva for 'Order of the Phoenix':
Hello,
Hahah this one was better than the Goblet of Fire. I loved the part, "Shouts? HE HARDLY GOT BELLOWING BEFORE YOU TWO CAME IN!" Exactly! That's what I was thinking everytime I heard Fred and George talk about Harry's "bellows" Hahaha
Great work
Rhr4eva
Fred: What do you mean? He was bellowing!
George: Yeah! If he wasn't bellowing then he's not skinny, thin faced, has green eyes and hair that points in all directions!
(Everyone is silent)
Hermione: I think Fred and George are in denial of the changes made in the film.
Commentator: If only other fans were as lucky.
Pertunia: Our eleventh review is from Chromde:
Really loving these!
Why thank you Chromde!
Dudley: Our twelfth review is from Rhr4eva for 'Halfblood Prince':
Hello,
Haha so right about Quidditch! And the Snape part where he didn't even threaten Harry about hte Potion's textbook, but Harry hides it anyway. Very funny :). But, I'm confused. What are you doing in a fortnight?
Oh, and by the way I was hoping you would do the scene where Harry Ron and Hermione start laughing randomly about Dumbledore's age in the beginning of the movie. I mean it's not that funny! And they start cracking up. I thought it would have been a good scene to do.
And, also the scene where Harry and Draco duel and Harry uses the Sectumsempra curse, I thought maybe you could make another jab at Harry's acting. Like, since he's so expressionless when he sees Draco lying there with blood all in the water, unlike the book where Harry freaks out and trys to revive him. I just thought maybe you could have Draco say something like, "Don't just stand there! Sob over my almost-lifeless body!" Or something. Haha idk... so yah...
Great work
Rhr4eva
Commentator: Yeah I think Anonymius meant to do a scene like that, but forgot to put it in.
Arthur: Our eleventh is from Haruko Kurimasu:
I call myself a fan of Anonymius Productions, and yet did not bother to find this parody! It was brilliant! I should`ve known someone would point out that Inferi are similar to zombies. Nice to see Sylar join in the fun!
Commentator: Well we couldn't have a brain fest without Sylar joining in the fun!
Neville: Our fourteenth review is from Bluestocking Inc:
WOW! Awesome funnitasticness! COOL! It's so unfair DH dosen't come out forever... GET DH UP ASAP!
You skipped the running-through-the-grass-bella-goes-WE!-scene. I wanted to see that...
ANyways, other than that, awesome chapter!
Commentator: Well it was a good thing that we didn't let our readers down and published Deathly Hallows when we promised, eh Anonymius?
Shut-up!
Wormtail: Our fifteenth review is from Petrelli Heiress:
*wipes away tears of laughter*
The part where Voldemort starts pretending to be other villains and then he and Harry have the agrument about how Voldemort is just a collection of other villains' traits had me in stitches. And tears. Hilarious.
Voldemort: I am not a collection of other villains' traits! I am a completely original character!
Commentator: No! You're not! You're an archetypical dark lord character! And you do have the nameless fear thing going on!
Voldemort: Oh all right! I may be a dark lord, who had a reign of terror only to be defeated to come back again, but that's all the similiarities we have! Anything else is purely coincidental!
Commentator: Okay then. By the way, why have you stopped talking like a DA-LEK?
Voldemort: It's such a pain to speak in uppercase with hyphens between every syllable.
Umbridge: Our sixteenth review is from Korean Boron-Paper-Stars:
Ha! This was hilarious! I think that the movies mess put in things and change stuff to make it more dramatic at the risk of contradicting canon. The Death Eaters and Order of the Phoenix flying, for example, drives me crazy.
About the one for the Half Blood Prince, though, there were two scenes you could have put in my friends pointed out. How about the scene where the burrow burns down because it's not in canon, Mr. Weasley, Tonks, and Remus apparently forgot how to Apparate, and all the characters forgot they were wizards and watched the burrow burn down and didn't try to put the fire out? Two of my friends hated that they did that.
Commentator: Yyeah, we didn't think any of that was parody worthy. If it means that much to you, however, then we'd probably do a deleted scene of the burrow burning.
Fred: Our seventeenth review-
George: -is from Darkgreenpriestess:
Commentator: Hey, what's going on here? No sharing reviews!
Fred and George: Sorry, we do everything together.
George: That's why Fred's death is so tragic, because I've lost half of myself.
Commentator: Yes, yes, I know why his death is so tragic. Oh all right, you can share it.
Fred and George: Thanks!
Fred: "Wow. This was great and I'm very sad to see it end D: Goodbye Commentator".
Commentator: Wait, what the-? (Darkgreenpriestess hugs him)
George: "XD Shouldn't I care more about Harry and the others? (blinks) Nah XD." Hey! That's not a very nice thing to say!
Commentator: Hey I'm not complaining! And don't worry about me, Darkgreenpriestess, I'll still be in a load of other parodies. Check out the Naruto, Yu Yu Hakusho, FMA and Heroes parodies! Well it's your turn to answer a review, Professor! Professor?
(A chain can be heard followed by a flush. The professor comes back holding a cat)
Professor: There there, little puss puss. It's all over now.
Commentator: How long have you had that cat in- you know...
Professor: Only for a few moments, why?
Commentator: But-but- BUT THAT HAPPENED LIKE MONTHS AGO! Oh wait. I think our booth is suffering a temporal flux. It happens all the time, commentating time does not pass in the same way as in the real world. Well now Professor, how about responding to a review?
Professor: Gladly. Our eighteenth review is from Dancethroughmystory:
Cool! I love your story so freaking much... So sad that it's almost over, but it was brilliant anyway.
Commentator: Oh don't worry it won't be over quite yet! We still have deleted scenes to feature!
Sammy: our nineteenth review is from James018:
Love it. One of the best HP parodies out there.
Commentator: Come to think about it how many hp parodies are there?
Profesor: Well there are those 15 minutes parodies, someone else's parodies that reference Potter Pals, Potter Pals, (checks the computer) and about ten others named abridged as well as many others.
Commentator: Really? Let's check some of them out! Hmm, synopsing, slightly humourous, synopsing, gah, how did this one get eight positive reviews, all the guy did was described what happened in short fashion!
Professor: In humourous fashion, Sir.
Commetnator: Yeah, but not very funny, either! Honestly synopsising is one of the seven deadly sins of parodying, along with toilet humour (and other obscene and offensive humour), pop culture references, irony lines, assuming that everyone else shares your exact views, referencing an actor's previous roles, and making fun of flaws that aren't there.
Harry: Making fun of flaws that aren't there?
Commetnatro: You'd be surprised at how often that happens.
Our twentieth review is from Dancethroughmystory, for the Epilogue: "That was very interesting... Poor Kreacher, hope he's enjoying the volcano."
Commentator: Yeah I think it's hard to enjoy a volcano given that he's dead.
Barty Crouch Jr: Our twenty first review is from Cinder570:
Ha, nice. Love all of the references. Oh, and I'm a total Professor fan girl. A squealing one at that. *squeals and hugs Professor as tightly as possible, probably cutting off circulation to all vital organs*
~Cinder
Commetnator: Uh oh. Professor? Professor? Quick! Get the man some CPR!
Hagrid: Cpwha'?
Commentator: Groan, I forget I'm surrounded by wizards. I know!
(Sends a few shocks)
Professor: GASP! Ah. At least I have a fan girl.
Commentaotr: Prof you almost died!
Professor: It was worth it.
Kreacher: Kreacher's review is from Tina: "Tina almost died laughing at the "Tom what happened to you!" line. Anonymius is really very funny."
Why thank you Tina! By the way, just to let you all know that wasn't exactly what Tina said. That's just the way Kreacher phrased it.
The Lawyer: Our twenty third review is from Kamen Rider Leonite. I am sure that some copyrights were violated in that name:
Not much for me to say apart from good job, you've managed to get through 6 of the movies and a prediction of the 7th.
Commentator: We consider it more of a parody of the book rather than just predicting the 7th. Although not even we could predict how bad the new film would be.
Phlox: Our twenty fourth and final review is from-
Commentator: NO! I cannot let this happen!
Everyone: Huh?
Commetnator: Don't you see? If he reads the final review, that's it, show's over!
Phlox: Anyway, our final review is from BlueStarReturns:
Really loved this one, as well as the whole fic so far. I especially liked the Sweeney Todd reference in the one scene!
Commentator: Which one, we made two. Well that's it, and all it worked out well.
Harry Potter Fans: That's easy for you to say! What about all the money we waster on Harry's funeral?
Commetnator: Well you know, Snape died in the final chapter.
(Harry Potter Fans are silent for a moment)
Harry Potter Fans: YAY!
(Banner saying 'Harry Potter we hardly knew ye' is taken down, and a new banner saying 'Severus Snape we hardly knew ye' is put up in its place)
Commentator: Well, it all worked out then. Well apart from some of you ending up dead. What did you think, Puss?
Cat: HISSSSSSSSSSSSS!
Commetnator: Look, it's not my fault that the Professor said 'if any of your crackpot theroeis turn out to be accurate, I'll eat my cat'!
Harry: So is this it?
Commentator: Well we may do the actual Deathly Hallows films, and we would also do deleted scenes. So goodbye, everyone!
(Curtains fall)
I like to dedicate this fanfic to Colin 'Zeke' Hayman. Your hilarious parodies of Enteprise on fiveminutedotnet is what inspired me to write my own parodies of episodes shortened.
I would also like to dedicate this to Martin 'Little Kuriboh' Billany. Your series gave me a title after I discovered that film parodies by people other than the administrators of the website 'Fiveminutedotnet' weren't allowed. Your abridged series also influeced my own fic.
I'd also like to dedicate this to the people who adaptated Harry Potter into film. If it were not for you messing up the books this parody wouldn't have been necessary.
I would also like to dedicate this to the following people: Roal Dahl, George Lucas, Ben Elton, Alfred Gough and Miles Millar, Stephen Spielburg, my sister, Lily Savage, Christian fundamentalists, Matt Groening, Jrr Tolkien, Matt Stone and Trey Parker, J.J. Abrams and Damon Lindelof, those who thought Dobby was supposed to look like Vladimir Putin, Russel T. Davies, Gan Xingba, Derek Dean, Gene Rodenberry, Toonlord, Toriyama, Terry Pratchett, Tom Jones, Don Bluth, Joss Whedon, Peter Jackson, the wakowski brothers, the founding fathers of America, David Bellisario, Mel Brooks, a number of abridged series makers, Vegeta3986 and Masakox, Hbi2k, M. Night Shyamalan, Neil Ciergiara, Dr Phil, people who thought Jor-El in Smallville was actually Zod, J.M Barrie, Zach Snyder, God and the evangelists, Chris Crocker, Michael Jackson, Tite Kubo, Tim Burton, that fanfic writer who wrote the fic about Harry Potter being in the afterlife, constantly trying to relive life and survive and be with Hermione instead of Ginny who spiked his drink with a love potion, Sam Raimi, people who write anime, all those who wrote shows where the characters were 'just friends', Christopher Nolan, Ang Lee, Tim Kring, writers about great old wizards who tend to die, Brett Ratner, Harry Potter fans who thought Harry Potter was going to die, Dan Brown, William Shakespeare, Monty Python, Walt Disney, C.S. Lewis, youtube flaggers, Stephenie Meyer, . You've all inspired me in my writing (and influenced others in this list as well).
And of course to you, the fans. Were it not for you I probably would not have gotten as far as I have.
Well I don't think I've missed anyone.
So goodbye everyone!
Don't worry, there are still other things I'm working on.
Oh, and check out my twitter account (The link is on my profile).
OH WAIT I FORGOT SOMEONE!
I would also like to dedicate this to JK Rowling. Were it not for her books this parody wouldn't exist in the first place.