"Hidan's been acting strange." the tanned skinned ninja said, the day after such events had happened. Deidara eyed the shinobi and shrugged nervously.
"He is a weird guy, Kakuzu, un." the bomber reminded him, as if it was exactly normal for what Hidan's actions had been like for the past twenty-four hours. Kakuzu eyed the teen and frowned.
"He said excuse me, this morning." the stitched man said, quite flabbergasted at the sentence he himself had said. Deidara at this, looked a bit more than shocked, but disgruntled.
"O-oh man... That is weird, yeah..." the blond muttered and rubbed the back of his head shyly. Kakuzu watched Deidara and rubbed his temples, a numbing headache setting in. "Question though... Why do you care, hmm?" he asked and placed his green hardcover book on his lap gently, folding his delicate hands on top of it. At the question, Kakuzu's mind snagged on something. If anything, what was he supposed to tell Deidara? If he told Deidara, Hidan would know almost immediately after, since the two were childhood friends. After much thought, he came up with a response:
"I don't want him to slow me down." was what Kakuzu had chosen. The blond's eyes narrowed dangerously as he stared the tanned man down.
"... Ugh... I don't know what you're planning, but I will find out. I'll tell Hidan, un. Mark my words, I will." Deidara hissed underneath his haughty tone of breath. Swiftly, but surely, the bomber got to his feet and walked off.
'Oh you will? I'd love to see that. In any case, I'm not afraid of Deidara, nor Hidan.' the oldest man in Akatsuki thought prudently.
"So, I think he knows something is up, yeah." the blond explained as he sat next to his friend. Hidan looked up from a book on parenting and raised a silver coloured eyebrow curiously.
"Who the fuck knows what? Kakuzu?" the Jashinist asked, slightly upset. Hidan, being immortal, wasn't scared of the stitched man, but worried to what he would say. The albino man would never disobey Jashin, so begrudgingly, he had to find some way for Kakuzu to get him pregnant. 'Fucking Rome wasn't built in a day, but it wasn't built in five. I only have fucking five days...' Hidan thought.
"Yeah, Kakuzu." Deidara nodded. "I think he's planning something. He was worried about you being decent towards him, un." he reminded the albino. Hidan blinked and his expression faltered.
"Planning? Planning what? What the fuck... I only have five days, Deidara. How in Jashin's name am I supposed to get Kakuzu to fuck me in that small time limit! Thanks Jashin... Could've at least given me a month." he grunted, as he finished his prattle. The young bomber looked at his friend with a deadpanned expression as he finally finished.
"Hidan, shut up, yeah-"
"Hidan-sempai could get a sex change!" the sudden voice of Tobi announced as he bounced into the bomber's room. Deidara twitched and glared daggers at his new partner.
"UGH! SHUT UP, TOBI, UN!" Deidara shrieked and stood up, grabbing Tobi by his collar. "You cannot be in my room!" he hissed and threw the boy out, slamming the door after the annoying presence had left the room. Hidan, the whole time, was staring in shock at the scene.
"Oh Jashin... I could never..." he trailed off, his emotions heightening as the thought of his manhood being gone. Deidara sat back down and patted his friend's back soothingly.
"Nobody wants you too... Don't worry about it, hmm. Now, we need a plan..."
"What about Itachi?" Hidan asked suddenly, which made the blond's face contort in anger. As soon as he realized what he had said, his mouth snapped shut, eyes widening. "Oh fuck man, sorry-"
"No." Deidara interrupted at this. "I want you to go see him, Hidan, yeah. He'll think of something. Kisame will help because he's nice, un. Go go, it'll work out." Deidara nodded, the anger washing off his face, a content expression replacing it. Hidan watched his friend for a sign of change in emotion, but saw no falter. Slowly, he stood up and stretched.
"Alright... I'll do that." the Jashinist nodded. "Thanks Deidara. I'll talk to you later, hopefully I'll be in a better mood." he laughed slightly and walked out of his friend's room. "Shouldn't have mentioned Itachi, but I'm sure the fucker will help."
"Why should I help?" Itachi asked, looking at Hidan who was now standing in his room. Hidan watched the Uchiha paint his nails carefully on his bed. The albino rubbed the back of his head as it looked though the Uchiha was to continue his speech. "In any case, that's a tough situation you've got yourself in, Hidan."
"Is it ever." is what Hidan said after Itachi had finished one of his feet, starting on the other. Without looking up, the Uchiha nodded in agreement. "Listen, I really need an idea. Deidara couldn't think of one and I'm stumped myself. Please help out? I'll repay the favour, I promise." shuddering at the last words, Hidan took a deep breath. Itachi looked up at this, stopping from beginning on his middle toe nail.
"Hmm... Well, all right. So, you need Kakuzu to get you pregnant because Jashin told you to. You can't go against him because he's your god... Am I correct from what I heard?" to this, Hidan nodded. Itachi caught the signal and continued. "Seduce him." were the simple words that escaped the raven's lips. Hidan choked on the air he inhaled and almost fell back against the door, but steadied himself quickly.
"E-excuse me! I- I can't seduce him! He's fucking asexual!" Hidan retorted. Itachi's black coloured eyes shifted to stare Hidan down.
"You asked for a plan, that's the plan I have for you, Hidan. It will work, trust me. Weather you want him to love you or not is another matter." the youngest of the Akatsuki stated and went back to painting his nails. Hidan looked thoughtful at this.
'Do I want Kakuzu to love me? Do I need him to? Jashin never said that much...' he thought and ran a hand through his hair, feeling the rough texture of his hair gel struggling against the intruding pull of his fingers. "Yeah... Well, thanks, Itachi." the albino muttered and let his arms drop to his sides. 'I am so not seducing Kakuzu, that's not my thing.'
"Mm, no problem." he responded, then looked back at Hidan once more. "I have a question about Jashinism, if you do not mind, that is." Itachi articulated, his voice staying the same as it always did, void of all emotion. Hidan blinked and looked at the Sharingan user, his glance questioning what Itachi could possibly ask about his own religion.
"Err... Sure, shoot." was all that came out of his mouth as he hesitantly watched the Uchiha. Itachi nodded and looked Hidan straight in the eyes, making the Jashinist grow uncomfortable, like the younger man was staring through him.
"Why is Jashin playing a match making like game with you anyway?" was the question. So simple, yet it seemed to shock the Jashinist greatly.
"Match... Making? Why would you think it's a fucking game?"
"Because he's a god. God's play games all the time. They can, it's how the world works." argued the Uchiha, but his tone remained calm. Hidan felt a growl rise in his throat as Itachi's stoic features changed to a cruel smirk.
"... That's not true." the albino hissed under his breath. Itachi chuckled lightly and looked away.
"Anyway, good luck with Kakuzu. Goodbye, Hidan." he said slyly, the smirk yet to leave his face. Hidan's pale fists clenched together as he turned around and left the room the Uchiha resided in.
"Well thanks, asshole-" Hidan had begun, but was interrupted by knocking into someone. Stumbling back, Hidan held his head, feeling a headache beginning to form in its early stage. Magenta eyes looked up after a minute to meet with Christmas coloured ones, in what looked like a sudden battle to the death between glares. "Watch where you're going, why don't you?" the low voice of Kakuzu growled out. Hidan, on normal circumstances, would have told Kakuzu to leave him be (in obscene speech), but this was no normal case, so the Jashinist had to think under the topic of nice.
"... Man, sorry. I wasn't watching out." he shrugged, pushing the small bit of anger to the back of his mind, where it would hopefully stay for the remainder of the conversation. Kakuzu stared down at Hidan, his eyes showing evident shock behind the black mask.
"Why are you being nice?"
"Why do you care, asshole?" so the anger, as hard as Hidan tried, forced its ugly face back onto the albino's features, an emotion that was as natural as breathing to him. Kakuzu seemed to wear almost the same expression as Hidan however. 'At least we seem to be in the same Jashin damned boat.'
"For Kami's sake... Am I allowed not to? I already told you two days ago. We have to try to be civil. Since you're not willing though, I don't see why I should even try." an exasperated sigh escaping behind the mask. Hidan glared and huffed, placing his delicate hands on his narrow hips. He shifted his gaze away to Kakuzu, then back when it looked as if the anger had calmed, like a hurricane of sorts, that goes away one moment, surfacing back the next.
"I'll be civil."
"What?" Kakuzu almost gasped, his eyes widening to what seemed the size of dinner plates. To this, Hidan was silent. Was there anything he could say? Racking his mind, he tried to think of something to tell the older man. Sadly, he came up with nothing.
'Way to be, I can't even think of anything, without it containing a fuck you...' the Jashinist thought. 'I need to get this all done... Sooner the better... Fuck.'
"What did you say?" the older of the two repeated, lightly hitting Hidan upside the head. As on impulse, the albino looked up at the stitched man with wide eyes, filled with confusion and sadness. Both emotions came from the lack of time he had to meet his god's outcomes, but Kakuzu didn't know that, did he now?
"Fuck... I'll be civil, okay! I will... I wanna talk later. So like, after supper, can I just come to your fucking room?" Hidan asked, never looking the ex-Kiri Shinobi in the eyes, for fear he would find an underlying emotion in them. Emotions were the one thing Hidan didn't want to let go of. He liked exactly where they were: deep in his heart. While Hidan avoided the miser's eyes, Kakuzu could do nothing but stare.
'What the hell is wrong with this retard? Not that I'm complaining... It will be easier if he wants to be civil. If we get married, I can't imagine the amount of money Pain will give me. Oh right, he wrote it down. All those zeros... Kami... In any case, this is good, no matter how much I hate the twit.' Kakuzu thought, his eyes still locked onto the shorter man adjacent to him. "Fine, you can. But if you touch anything there, or try anything funny, I'll separate your body and send random parts to different countries. You understand?" he asked, his tone slightly mocking, as if he knew Hidan was trying nothing but to be nice. Even so, Hidan caught onto the mocking attitude and looked back at the Stitched man, glaring daggers at him.
"Fucking fine then."
"Alright then." Kakuzu smirked, feeling the tension growing between the two begin to make itself present. 'this'll be fun...'
"I've got a problem." Hidan admitted, after about a ten minute period of silence between the two immortals. Kakuzu looked up and at the albino, his eyebrows furrowing in confusion.
"Well, what a coincidence... I have one also." the stitched man agreed, removing his head gear from the fact that his room had raised about ten degrees in temperature, since the sun decided to move into its six o' clock placement. Hidan tilted his head to the side, looking back at Kakuzu with almost the same expression.
"Oh... Well... That fucking sucks. How about you go first?"
"I don't think so. You wanted to talk to me, so after you." at this, Hidan's steadily decreasing good mood took a plunge, his head beginning to throb, a sure sign of anger for the Jashinist.
'It's now or never, Hidan... Just gotta let it all out.' the albino thought and sighed. "Oh fuck you. Fine. You won't care because it's about Jashin, but whatever. I had this fucked up dream about talking to Jashin. I have this whole thing where I can't lose my virginity until he says so. I'm supposed to be a part of a prophecy and whatever."
'... If this is going to where I think it is, maybe this will work... Problem is that I don't love Hidan, more so hate his guts. The money though... All that money.' Kakuzu thought happily, then tuned back into Hidan's half useless, half meaningful prattle.
"So in my dream, Jashin told me who I was supposed to lose it to." Hidan muttered, beginning to fidget with his cloak, making sure not to make eye contact with the oldest Akatsuki member.
"And who was that?" Kakuzu asked. 'It's so me, I can tell the unfortunate part of this. However, no big deal. I give him what he wants, he gives me what I want, we won't have to act any different, just... Be married is all. This is a mind fuck in the making.'
"... Uh... You." Hidan frowned. "But man, I don't like this anymore than you! I just, I have to do this, or I'm fucked..." he muttered. The stitched ninja smirked at this, feeling a sense of accomplishment, like the Jashinist had given up on something he worked so hard to accomplish. Better yet, Kakuzu was the one who had the rights to destroy it. Today was turning out to be an okay day.
"Well then... See, I have a problem too, Hidan. I think, with a lot of help from other people, we can make this work. See, While your problem is Jashin, mine is tax evasion."
"I thought you said it was impossible-" the Jashinist began, but was interrupted by Kakuzu.
"I didn't mean cheat out the taxes, but more of a reduction. If you get married, taxes get cut off, more so, if you have a child. Now see where this is going?" the miser asked, rubbing where his beard would be, if he chose to let such a thing grow.
"... You're going to use me?" Hidan scowled. Kakuzu, to this, shrugged.
"Oh face it, you're using me too. We might as well both use each other." he stated bitterly. "So, why exactly do you have to lose your virginity or whatever?"
"Cause I'm supposed to give birth to a child that'll bring destruction." Hidan answered simply, like the answer was that of a normal one. Kakuzu looked at Hidan's cloak, where his tummy was covered by it, with wide eyes. "W-well then... How is this possible? Oh right, nothing seemed to be possible about you and your religion, Hidan." the stitched man frowned. Hidan looked at where Kakuzu's eyes had fallen and blushed slightly.
"Answered your own question. Anyway, I only have five days to get a stupid baby in me, or it's goodbye immortality, Jashinism... The whole sha-bang." Hidan said in his usual drawling tone, which had more than once pissed his own partner off.
"Five days? Why is that?" Kakuzu asked, watching his partner intently. Hidan sighed and ruffled his hair, pulling most of the gel loose.
"Well, because after that, I guess the conception or whatever gets fucked up and I'll fail. Then lose everything." the Jashinist admitted, his eyebrows furrowing in a mix between sadness and confusion. Kakuzu, if he was nice, would have cared, but he was not a nice person, so the lack of caring remained. "Ah, well, whatever. How about we make a deal, since we both seem to have issues."
"And a lack of tissues?"
"Yeah sure, why not?" Kakuzu shook his head. "I propose this: We get married for my tax reduction issues and you'll get a kid, the one with destruction and all." the miser said slowly, a smile spreading across his features, which made him look like some sort of killer from a horror movie. Hidan looked thoughtful, then smiled slightly.
"Huh... Alright. You've got a deal, Kakuzu. As long as we don't have to be all couple like. Honestly, I fucking hate you and you hate me. Since I need this kid though, I'll second that deal." the albino male laughed, an unnatural smile making its way onto the man's pale features.
"Good. Now, when exactly do you want this to happen?" the stitched man inquired. 'Doing this with Hidan doesn't quite feel right... Wait. Why should I care about what happens to that moron?' he thought, his head spinning in confusion as the younger of the two began to speak.
"As soon as fucking possible." was the final answer that Hidan had come up with. Kakuzu's expression faltered slightly, but nothing that the Jashinist noticed.
'I don't want to take this kid's virginity... Christ, he's still a virgin... Why am I caring so much... I shouldn't care and I won't.' the echo like voice rang through Kakuzu's mind, only making the miser more angry with himself. "Hmm... Alright, come here." he commanded, roughly at that. Hidan titled his head to the side, but begrudgingly walked over to where Kakuzu was sitting on his bed. Magenta eyes watched carefully as the older man removed his cloak swiftly. "Just get on my lap." he said sternly. Hidan, for a moment, felt a sense of pride wash over him and strongly considered going against the miser's commands. However, the equally commanding voice of Jashin echoed through his mind, reminding him he only had five days to get this done. If he was an ass about it now, Kakuzu would never bring the chance up again. Sighing in defeat, the Jashinist walked closer, sitting down on Kakuzu's lap, his butt settling into the older man's groin perfectly. As much as Kakuzu denied it outwardly, Hidan was indeed a very good looking man. From the lack of shirt the albino always showed off, Kakuzu never once noticed a birthmark, scar, or anything of the sorts. The albino also had curves that no normal man would posses, which struck Kakuzu as odd.
"Yeah, okay." Hidan muttered, blushing slightly. Kakuzu rolled his eyes as he unbuttoned his partner's cloak, seeing yet again that the albino had yet to put a shirt on. "Question." the stitched man muttered as Hidan lifted himself off slightly, so the cloak could be thrown to the ground with Kakuzu's. Once it was done, he settled back into the miser's lap.
"Shoot."
"Why is there not one birthmark or imperfection on your body? What's with you?" Kakuzu asked, frowning as Hidan removed the ex-Kiri ninja's shirt, tossing it onto the growing pile. Hidan blinked and looked at Kakuzu, confused at the random question that he had asked.
"Umm, well, I don't really know. I just don't have any." the albino shrugged and felt two fingers hook into the hem of his pants. Blushing, magenta eyes shifted down to look what he was feeling was indeed happening. "..."
"Stop tensing up. I'll be nice for once, since you've been nice or tried." Kakuzu frowned, not wanting to put up with the Jashinist's useless ranting and raving. Hidan nodded slightly and relaxed. "You have to get off my lap so both of us can get the rest of our clothes off. Go quick, because I won't wait for you longer than I have to." he explained as Hidan removed himself from where he was seated on the miser's lap. Hooking his fingers in the hem of his pants like Kakuzu had, he pulled both his pants and boxers off nervously.
'Nervous? Why am I nervous?' the Jashinist asked himself in the confinements of his mind. He shifted his gaze from the final mass of clothing to Kakuzu who was now as equally as naked as himself. Hidan blushed and ran a hand through his hair as he walked over to the miser's bed, climbing over to the middle where the older of the two was. "All right. Since you like pain, I'm sure you'll do fine. I'll help you, just come here." Kakuzu said, his voice low, Christmas coloured eyes focused on the albino's body. Hidan frowned and scoffed in Kakuzu's general direction as he climbed onto Kakuzu, sitting on the older man's stomach.
"Stop staring at me." Hidan muttered, growing uncomfortable with the gaze the stitched man had on his body. Kakuzu looked up and frowned. "Sorry... Anyway, are you ready?" Kakuzu asked softly into the albino's ear. Hidan shuddered and nodded slowly. "As ready as I can be." he muttered and shifted down as Kakuzu lifted his hips up, a secure grip being placed on them. As rough as it was, Hidan felt somewhat safe in the tight hold the miser had on his hips. "Alright, it'll hurt first, but you'll get used to it... Eventually." he smirked then as the albino brought his own hips down, jerking to a stop when he felt the tip of his partner's erection poke into the tight ring of the muscles. "What now?" Kakuzu asked, frowning as he felt his patience wearing thin.
"I... It hurts. Kinda." the Jashinist moaned as Kakuzu continued to push Hidan's hips down, the tip of his dick pushing past the tight right of muscles. "Wait a minute-" "No, I can't wait. You wanted it, so this is it." Kakuzu muttered into his new lover's ear, as he pushed the albino down onto him the rest of the way. Hidan usually loved pain, but this kind was short of unbearable. Letting out a string of curses, the Jashinist held onto the stitched man as if he would die when separated from him. "Hidan, Stop holding onto me this much. You have to move some." "I am not moving. I'm fucking in pain here." the albino grumbled. Pushing the anger to the back of his mind as best as he could, Kakuzu lifted the albino off of him, sitting him down on the mattress. "Fine, whatever." the miser growled as the albino watched him. Hidan frowned as the pain numbed in his butt, but was none the less confused towards the bigger man's actions.
"Woah, you're being really nice." the Jashinist smirked slightly, laying back. The stitched man grunted and shook his head.
"Shut up, Hidan." he frowned, leaning over the lethal body below him. Magenta eyes looked into Christmas coloured ones with curiosity. "Wrap your legs around my waist, all right?" he asked, moving his hands to rub the albino's hips. Hidan blushed and looked at the hands momentarily, before nodding and doing as he was told for once. "Why are you-"
"Don't talk, just watch." Kakuzu's low voice interrupted as guided himself back into Hidan's entrance. The Jashinist's eyes widened in shock and pain as older man's manhood had once again intruded into his body, the numbing pain searing back like a fire being stirred back to life. "For fuck's sake..." Hidan groaned and felt the strong arms of Kakuzu pulled him close, as if he was protecting the immortal. 'Why is he...?'
"Why is he doing that?" blood red eyes looked into the water, which in ripples, produced a picture of two male shinobi. Ice blue eyes looked over at the god in confusion.
"Why is who doing what, Jashin?" the silky young voice of a teenage girl asked, leaning over the fancy well. The ice blue eyes widened at the scene the girl had taken in. "What are you watching?" she asked, her left eye twitching slightly as she stepped back. Jashin looked over at his daughter and blinked. "Oh, no... Not that. I'm only watching to see if Hidan is actually going through with it." he spoke gently, his silky voice ringing through the air. Yuurei smiled then, her features brightening. "Oh? Does this mean you'll get a new wife? And I'll get a new mommy? Soon?" she asked, licking at her lollipop, the taste of cherry tickling her taste buds. Jashin looked at his child and nodded, smiling. "Yes, it does! Her name will be Hitori." he said, proud of himself like he had figured out the answer to something like E=mc².
"Hitori? Oh, I like that name, dad." she cooed, leaning against a dead tree. Jashin nodded and continued to look at the water with interest.
'Glad this thing doesn't have sound.' he mused inwardly, then looked back at his daughter. "Yuurei, daddy has a job for you~" he purred, turning around, so all of his attention was now on the girl in question. Yuurei looked up from her lollipop and blinked, her ice blue eyes holding a great amount of curiosity.
"Yes daddy?" she asked, her pale features lighting up as she patted down her pale pink coloured silk dress. Jashin smiled wickedly and walked over to his little girl, who's young face would always remain the same.
"I want you to go down there and join Akatsuki. They won't let you at first, but if you get to Hidan and tell him Jashin sent you, he will find a way, I promise. I want you to look after Hitori. Hidan is immortal, but the immortality cannot stretch into her until she's born, where I can get at her after that. You'll need to protect Hidan and Hitori from harm's way. Destroy anyone who gets in the way... Except Kakuzu." at the name, Yuurei became confused and a little angry at why she had a limit to who she could kill.
"Why not this Kakuzu person?" she asked, frowning. Jashin chuckled and patted his daughter's head, a sly smile making its way onto his features.
"Because Kakuzu is the father of Hitori, err, will be." Jashin said, slightly confused himself, but snapped out of the feeling with a grin. "When you get there, you'll notice him right away. He's the man with the Christmas coloured eyes."
"Yuck, Christmas." Yuurei spat.
"Yes, quite, but that's what the colours red and green combine. Anyway, I need you to do those simple tasks. I'll reward you greatly, my dear." Jashin grinned. "Lollipops all around!" he sang, his tone rough, but none the less content. Yuurei's eyes lit up, her platinum blonde hair blowing in the dry cold air.
"Okay dad! I'll make you proud!"
"Good good! Now, you'll start tomorrow, since he cannot do anything harmful, not even before conception. No way will he screw this up now. I'm too close to my goal." he smirked, his smile turning into one of a murderer. Yuurei giggled and saluted her father like he was a general.
"Yes sir!" she cheered. Jashin sighed contently and picked her up easily, hugging his daughter to him.
'Finally...'
"Finally fell asleep." Kakuzu muttered, his gaze still fixed on the albino man, who was laying asleep next to him. "He is rather cute when he sleeps. You'd hardly think he's a moron if you didn't know him." the stitched man mused. "Maybe this won't be so bad. I mean, he'll leave me alone and vise-versa." he finished, smiling as a soft knock came on the door. Kakuzu looked over and blinked.
"It's Konan, I know you're in there, Kakuzu." the soft voice whispered out. The oldest member in Akatsuki furrowed his eyebrows, but slipped out of his side of the bed, leaving a snoring Hidan to sleep soundly.
"Okay, one second." he muttered, getting back into his clothing quickly. Once he had done so, he made his way over the door, opening it to reveal Konan in silk short shorts and a frilly top, which could only mean to Kakuzu that it was some sort of weird lingerie. "What do you want, Konan?" he asked, frowning. Konan snickered and shook her head, blue hair trailing after her head movements.
"Leader wants to talk to you." she said softly. "So leave sleeping beauty be for a minute." the stitched man scoffed towards Konan's words, but followed her out, closing the door quietly to avoid a face off with the Jashinist later on. As they walked, Kakuzu felt the only woman in Akatsuki staring at him with interest of some sort.
"What is it you want, Konan?" asked the stitched man. Konan blinked and ran a hand through her hair, which was still in a messy state from sleep the night before.
"Well, I myself... Truthfully, I want to have a child. Two immortal men against each other isn't exactly the home I want to bring a baby into. You two could kill her for Kami's sake. I can't allow that... So Yahiko and I came up with an idea, plus all the things he said to you. Just another positive to why you two should be married!" her chipper voice smiled, no longer plagued with a sleepy like tone. Kakuzu raised an eyebrow only to one part of the talk the blue haired woman had given him: Yahiko. Who exactly was this man? Kakuzu didn't know, but he was sure to find out.
"Yahiko? Who is that, Konan?"
"Oh... Whoops. Err, Pain I mean. Complicated stuff, so better to leave it alone." Konan whispered and looked ahead to signal the conversation was in fact over.
"All right then. I won't ask anymore." Kakuzu said, smiling under the mask a bit. He didn't exactly understand why he was smiling, but Konan would never see it, so he left that question alone as well. The angel of Akatsuki smiled then, her hands dropping to her sides as she said:
"You know... You're a very nice man under all that hard exterior. No wonder Hidan speaks so much of you. I think you two will get along fine, Kakuzu." to this, Kakuzu became confused. Had Konan said Hidan spoke of him more than often one would?
"Hidan? He what?" Kakuzu asked, but Konan looked slightly distracted, the smile still spread across her beautiful face.
"He he, yes, he speaks of you. True, Hidan is a lunatic, but you don't know him Kakuzu. Have you ever gotten to know the guy?"
'I haven't, that's true... However, it's not like many people would want to approach someone like him.' the stitched man thought, sighing slightly.
"No, I think not." she continued, looking at him then. "He's a fool, that's for sure, but our Jashinist has feelings also. Deidara and myself are the only one's who bother with him... He won't tell us everything though, we know that much. While not the smartest, Hidan knows human emotions and has them... You just never got to realize how he hides them."
'Why does she have to be so deep? If she keeps at it, she might make me want to know the idiot.' Kakuzu thought and continued to listen to her speech, which seemed to stab at each of his hearts in certain parts.
"You know, he hides them like you do." she finished, smiling slyly. That sentence was all it took. Kakuzu felt the numbed feeling of anger split into his head once again. His eyes narrowed at the shorter Akatsuki.
"Don't even talk about emotions, Konan. You know nothing." he frowned. It would be simple to kill the girl, that was for sure. However, Kakuzu felt something hold him back, like the part of his mind that always whispered kill, had been switched off. Konan opened her mouth to say something in rebuttal, but was interrupted by a just as chipper tone from her lover in front of the two.
"Good morning, Kakuzu! How are you? Good I trust." he smiled, looking at Konan. "Thank you, Konan, you go get something to eat, all right? Remember, you're eating for two now." Konan nodded and walked down the hall past the two men. Once the two were alone, Yahiko's smile calmed down to a content look, more than one of excitement. "I'm all right, Leader."
"It's Yahiko now." the man known as Yahiko said simply, opening his office door and ushering Kakuzu inside. The ex-Kiri shinobi nodded slightly and walked inside, hearing the door close behind him once the leader of Akatsuki had walked in as well. "In any case! How are things with yourself and Hidan?" he asked. Kakuzu sighed and pinched the bridge of his nose in thought.
'If one more person asks me about Hidan, I'll snap.' the oldest man in the Akatsuki frowned. "He's fine, I guess. Right now, as far as I know, he's sleeping."
"How do you know that? Did you spend last night with our little Jashinist?" Yahiko asked, his face content, but the tone slightly mocking.
"Yes, I did." Kakuzu nodded, crossing his arms over his chest. 'Our little Jashinist? He's nobody's 'little Jashinist.'...'
"Great! So, things are definitely coming along?" Yahiko asked, sitting in his office chair, spinning around once. He stopped the motion and put his feet up in a lazy movement on the desk. The older man felt his forehead crease in contempt towards the red head.
"You could say that, yes." Kakuzu nodded. The head of the Akatsuki tilted his head to the side in confusion, as if the answer the stitched man had given him was unclear.
"Oh? Why would you say that?" Yahiko asked, his feet disappearing off of the desk as he sat up in one swift motion. Kakuzu shook his head and sighed, about to say something when interrupted by a loud scream filled with anger, but clearly lacking sanity.
"KAKUZU!" was the name that followed the loud wail which could have only came from the Jashinist himself.
"That's... Why."
"It fucking hurts!" Hidan screamed, chucking the replaced lamp from the bed side table at the stitched man. Kakuzu ducked to the side and frowned as the lamp shattered into pieces. "You asked for it, Hidan. Calm down, will you?" Kakuzu sighed heavily while standing up straight. Hidan, hearing this, dropped the hair brush he was to target Kakuzu with next. "..." a frown made its way onto his young and tired features, the late morning sun almost making it seem sad. Kakuzu however, did not seem to care for sad scenes. He watched the Jashinist and walked over, slightly wary another object of Hidan's would make its way towards him.
"Just... Calm down." he said, laying his large rough hands on each of Hidan's feminine shoulders. "It will only hurt for a few days. Do you want an ice pack or a magic bag?" he asked. Hidan's looked up at the taller man and blinked, confused, but grateful the miser was there for him.
"Magic bag please." the velvet voice of Hidan muttered out, the last word of course, was forced. "All right, I'll be back soon." the older of the two mused and walked out of the priest's room. Hidan looked at the now closed door and sighed.
"... Jashin, I think I'm in love. Fucking heathen." Hidan said, his voice full of panic.
When Kakuzu entered the living room, he noticed something out of place. Not because Tobi was quiet, putting a puzzle together on the floor, like a good boy for once, but because there was one more female there then there should have been.
"Who the?" Kakuzu asked, too baffled to finish his question. The girl who stood in the middle of the living room talking to Konan reminded him of one person: Hidan. Her platinum blonde hair was braided back with a black ribbon that looked to be silk. It seemed to move by itself, but Kakuzu took no notice to that detail. His eyes were far too busy staring down the amulet, which was identical to Hidan's, except the girl's seemed to be polished and far more cared for. Konan turned around and smiled at Kakuzu, the girl looked at him also, but more seemed curious than content.
"Kakuzu! Come meet Yuurei!" Konan cheered and ushered him over. Kakuzu frowned at the two women, but walked over to them anyway. Once he was standing adjacent, Konan smiled again. "Yuurei, this is Kakuzu. Kakuzu, this is Yuurei. She's a Jashinist just like Hidan-chan!" to this, Yuurei smiled, but Kakuzu could tell it was nothing but an act. Something about the girl radiated evil. Kakuzu also noticed that though there was a lack of wind in the base, the ribbon Yuurei wore seemed to float as if there was a breeze.
"Hello Yuurei, and yes, I see that Konan. Anyway, I came to get a magic bag for Hidan, so goodbye." he said, beginning to walk away. Yuurei frowned and grabbed onto the miser's cloak.
"Wait up, I came because I wanted to talk to Hidan!" she piped up, her ice blue eyes watching him in desperation. Yet again, Kakuzu saw through it with disdain.
"... Alright, but stop faking those emotions, it's quite foolish." he growled out from behind the mask. Yuurei blinked, slightly shocked.
'Dad wasn't joking... This guy is smart...' she thought while following the tall man into the kitchen. "Are you partners with Hidan?" Yuurei asked as she watched Kakuzu grab the blue coloured magic bag and place it in the microwave. Without looking back, he said:
"Yes."
"Oh, is it nice? I mean, I think Hidan is amazing. Being the chosen one and all..." she bit her bottom lip, as though she had the hots for him. Kakuzu, being faced away from her, found himself glaring down at the counter.
"It's all right." Kakuzu replied. Yuurei frowned, as she was not able to get any sort of emotion out of the man across the room from her.
"Ah... What do you think of him?"
"Why do you care?" was Kakuzu response. Gritting her teeth, Yuurei walked over to the miser.
"I just want to be nice." the blonde girl huffed, unwrapping a red lollipop she had taken out of the pouch on her left leg. Kakuzu looked over at her as she leaned against the counter.
"No, that's not it. Listen, if you think I'm going to mess with your messiah, you've got another thing coming. He's my partner, so I won't touch him." he explained, looking back at the timer on the microwave. The next few minutes were filled with a deadly silence, except the microwave, its buzzing occupying the dead air in the room around the Jashinist and miser.
'Too bad you already have, pious bastard. Unfair that daddy won't let me destroy you...' Yuurei thought and licked at her lollipop. "Hmm, okay then. If you lay a hand on him however, I'll break bones ya' didn't know you had." she scolded. To this, Kakuzu felt what little control he had, begin to dissipate.
"Huh... I've been studying human biology for 80 years. I think I know all of the bones in a person's body. I have to know my biology to get the hearts after all." he said thoughtfully as the timer went off, the words 'enjoy your meal' drifting across the display screen in green. Yuurei blinked, an eyebrow raising.
'Daddy didn't mention the guy takes people's hearts... What's up with that?' she asked herself in the inner confinements of her mind. "...Hearts?"
"Never mind. I don't want to explain it to a kid like you." Kakuzu muttered, removing the magic bag from the microwave swiftly. Yuurei frowned and put her hands on her hips, which would never develop into that of a woman.
"Fine." Kakuzu looked at her as she said that, then walked off back towards Hidan's room. When he reached the room in question, he wasn't surprised the girl named Yuurei was still following him. He knew she wanted to see Hidan, so it wasn't that the stitched man cared. He opened the door with a soft click and let it go as it creaked quietly from years of use. Walking in, he looked to the bed to see Hidan laying down, reading a girl magazine that Konan usually picked.
"Here's your magic bag, Hidan. There's someone here to see you." the miser announced and threw the warm bag of rice at the Jashinist. In a swift flash, Hidan had sat up, despite the numb feeling, and caught the bag in one hand. "... Who?"
"A girl." Kakuzu replied, shrugging. Hidan's face filled with nothing short of puzzlement as he stared into the miser's eyes.
"A... Girl? Okay?" he blinked, quickly slipping the hot bag under him so he now sat on it. Kakuzu looked to the entrance of the room and ushered her in. Hidan watched as the figure sauntered into the room. Ice blue eyes greeted the albino's own magenta one's with a feeling of both comfort and anxiety. Hidan tried to shake the feeling of being invaded by the eyes, but couldn't quite manage it. Fortunately, Kakuzu caught the look Hidan presented and frowned. Coughing, he said:
"Hidan, this is Yuurei. She's a Jashinist, like you." Kakuzu explained. Hidan snapped his gaze away from Yuurei's and looked back at the oldest of three once again. Yuurei waved and smiled softly.
"Hello Hidan, I've been looking for you, you know?" she giggled, as if she was innocent. Hidan disregarded it, while Kakuzu saw through it. "Me? Well, if it Jashin you want to connect with or something, then yeah, no wonder." he frowned. Kakuzu, frowning now also, watched the two in utter silence as they spoke between each other.
"Well, it's something like that, yes." she said, politely at that. Hidan blinked and nodded slightly.
'Watch this, daddy. I'll make you proud, all right!' Yuurei appraised, her smile growing as the two men looked at her.
'I don't like this. I don't like this at all.' Kakuzu thought, his eyebrows furrowing. For once however, Hidan inwardly seemed to agree with the miser, thinking:
'I have a fucking bad feeling about her.'
Jashin leaned against the well swiftly, his smile widening, making it seem as though it engulfed a large portion of his lower face.
"Oh, this will be so interesting." he purred, his eyes twinkling.
Well, chapter two is done now. XD it took awhile to write, but I think it's pretty good. R&R please, it's very much appreciated :) I like to know how I'm doing, ha ha.