"You can't be serious, Drake."
"Of course I'm being serious. What's wrong with the idea?"
"A snowball fight? Aren't we a little old for that kind of thing?"
"Mione, please?"
"Not the face. Not the face!"
"Come on, you know you can't resist it."
"Can anyone?"
"Hm, don't think so. Ron's immune to it."
"He grew up with the twins and Ginny; give him some credit."
"Speaking of the twins…"
"Not again. Stop bringing it up."
"What? You fell in love with Fred years ago, slept with him during the post war celebrations completely shitfaced, and then nothing happened."
"You know why nothing happened."
"Yeah cos the pair of you haven't been able to look each other in the eye since it happened."
Hermione sighed, slumping down into the comfortable sofa. "As if Christmas dinner wasn't going to be awkward enough."
"Did something happen?"
"I might have made out with George."
"You did what?"
"We were drunk."
"You kissed the love of your life's twin brother?"
"After that much firewhiskey even I can't tell them apart."
"At least you didn't do anything else with him. Right?"
"Right."
"Well that's something at least. So tell me, hotshot, what happened?"
"Why do you want to know?"
"Two reasons, pet, one I need to know so I can avert disaster at the shindig we're throwing tomorrow. And because I need my gossip."
Hermione giggled and shuffled down, laying her head on her friend's shoulder. "Well after everyone left George noticed I was a bit down, so we got talking, about our love lives."
"George has a love life?"
"Not exactly. That was the point. We started talking about what we could do to help further the relationships. Turns out he's in love with two different people."
"No way!"
"Yep and one of them's a guy."
"Oh!"
"There's more. It Lee."
"As in Lee Jordan?"
"One and the same. Started when they were first years."
"That long ago? Poor guy."
"I know. Problem is, Lee's straight and dating the girl George is in love with."
"Wow, what a mess."
"Yeah."
"Who is the girl by the way?"
"Alicia Spinnet."
"Didn't Fred take her to the Yule Ball?"
"Yes he did."
"I'm still a little fuzzy on how you went from relationship talk to making out."
"Uh, we spent a lot of time talking about Fred. George was curious about why I fancied his brother and not him when they're identical. I told him it's not what's on the outside that matters to me. Yes they are both very good looking and no one but you will ever know what Fred's smile does to me, but George can be a little mean sometimes and doesn't know when the joke stops being a joke and becomes cruel and unfunny."
"Did you tell him you thought he was good looking?"
"Yeah, well it kinda goes without saying since he and Fred are identical twins."
"And you're head over heels in love with his twin."
"Yeah. And then he said that if I wanted he could be a stand in for his brother until it actually happened with Fred."
"And you went for it?"
"Little bit. But he and Fred are not identical kissers and I backed out and fled."
"Only you would have some sense when you're totally smashed."
"Yeah and now we have to face a Christmas dinner with them and Harry and Ron and Ginny."
"Oh don't forget Blaise and Neville and Luna."
"Big day huh?"
"Kill me now."
"Oh speaking of Ron…you owe me gossip of your own."
"I don't know what you're talking about."
"Don't play innocent with me Malfoy. I was the one entertaining him at breakfast. Something you need to tell me?"
"No need to be like that. It's not like it's the first time he stayed over."
"Yes, but this morning he had that look on his face, you know the one he gets when Tonks makes her extra special chocolate biscuit messes. And just to make you even more smug he appeared to have a cheering charm added to the mix."
Draco laughed. "I am the king."
"Ironic considering the Weasley is our king song."
"Oh be quiet you, at least I'm getting some."
"I hate it when you're right."
"You hate it when anyone but you is right."
"That's not true. I don't mind letting Fred be right sometimes."
"You're hopeless."
"Eh, so sue me already."
"So snowball fight?"
"There isn't even that much snow. Put that wand down, Draco."