"They've been in there arguing for an hour" Amelia chuckled as Meredith came up to the nurses' station and handed a chart to the nurse behind the desk. Amelia was sitting on the nurses' station watching her family yell at each other in the conference room through the windows. It was Lauren against her Mom and everyone else in between.

"Why aren't you in there voicing your opinion?" Meredith asked as she turned and watched the argument through the window. It seemed that the only two people determined on their views were Lauren and Carolyn. Derek, Nancy and Kathleen were still undecided.

"My opinion doesn't really matter in there. Nancy and Kathleen still see me as the drug addict who crashed Derek's car while I was high. I did a lot of stupid things while I was high and Derek is just starting to warm up to me"

"What about Lauren and your Mom?"

"I get my Mom's view on not wanting treatment, I hate it but I get it and I understand Lauren's surgery options. I think it's genius that she can use her Paeds surgery techniques on Mom. She's turning into Derek with her crazy experimental surgeries. She's been in Seattle too long"

"Why don't you go in there and tell them that" Meredith sighed and picked up another chart

"Three out of five people in there won't listen to me so there's not much point" Amelia shrugged. She wanted to contribute but when Nancy, Kathleen and Derek couldn't see past her drug addiction to even listen to her.

"You'd be surprised" Meredith shrugged and began to walk away until Dr Webber came along in the opposite direction and stopped her.

"Both of you get in here" he ordered as he pointed to Amelia and waited for them to walk into the conference room before he did. Meredith and Amelia took a seat at the conference table as Richard by passed Lauren and Derek to stand by Carolyn. "Now I understand all your views in this situation but Carolyn came to me this morning asking for my opinion"

"Mom come on" Lauren sighed and sat down next to Amelia knowing her surgery option was not going to happen now. There was no point when her Mom went to Dr Webber to mediate.

"Lauren, I understand you want to try and fight this" Carolyn started softly "But I just can't. I have no fight in me"

"Because you haven't even tried fighting" Amelia sighed softly

"Amelia..."

"You're Carolyn Shepherd. You've been fighting for the five of us our whole lives and now you're telling us you've got nothing left for yourself? That's a load of garbage and everyone in this room knows that" Lauren growled and stood up angrily "You've given up and I refuse to stand around and watch you decide to die. I can help you beat this cancer but just forget I even mentioned it. Clearly you don't even care" she sighed and packed up her files before leaving the conference room. Shell shocked by her outburst, no-one went after Lauren as she stormed out.

"Y'know Lauren's got a point" Derek shrugged. The looks Nancy and Kathleen quickly gave him were like they were shooting daggers from their eyes "I get that you don't want treatment but you're not even considering the options she's giving you"

"But no-one has done a surgery like this before" Kathleen commented very 'matter of fact'.

"I know it's risky but everything has a risk does it not?"

"What about family not operating on family. I thought that rule still held strong in this hospital Derek" Dr Webber added sternly.

"When Lauren is the only and the best surgical oncologist in the state then family has to operate on family" Amelia snapped before cowering back into her seat.

"Paediatric oncologist" Nancy piped up unable to get past the difference in Lauren's specialty and her mother's condition.

"I thought we got past that half an hour ago" Derek sighed shooting the dagger expression back at Nancy "At least consider the options Lauren has to offer. She's a pretty incredible surgeon if you just gave her a chance" he shrugged and walked out of the conference room. Never thinking he would actually side with Lauren on this, Derek was surprised at his own outburst. He needed to get back to work and let his Mom decide this for herself. It was all he could do to stop him from watching his Mom decide to die.

XXXXX

"Knock, knock. Alex told me you'd be up here" Carolyn whispered softly as she knocked on the door of the patient's room quietly. Lauren was sitting in the opposite corner's rocking chair holding a fragile little three year old girl rocking her back and forth. Looking up, Lauren didn't really want to talk to her Mom but Carolyn came in anyway and sat down on the bed "You seem to be very good with her"

"Ashley's Mom works three jobs just to be able to pay for her daughter's chemotherapy. She only gets to the hospital a few hours a week so when Ashley is restless or misses her Mom I'm there for her. A few of the kids on my oncology ward are in similar situations so I spend a lot of my spare time up here"

"How does Alex feel about that?"

"Why are you up here Mom?"

"I wanted to talk to you" Carolyn sighed softly "I considered your surgery options. Dr Webber said it's quite a detailed and thoroughly mapped out procedure you've put forward. He said that it was a rather inspired proposal but I can't ask you to operate"

"You can't ask me to operate?" Lauren asked confused. No-one was asking her to do anything; she wanted to save her mother's life.

"I know it was part of your proposal but Derek and Nancy really explained the risks to the surgery"

"Of course they did"

"I don't doubt your talent as a surgeon, I know that you're already an incredible young woman but if I didn't come out of the anaesthesia I would have no time with you, your brother and your sisters. I want my last couple of months to be spent with my family not my last few hours spent hooked up to a machine. I don't want you kids to have to turn off my life support"

"Call me an optimist but I've seen your file and I know you'd be strong enough to pull through the surgery" Lauren shrugged and started to rub Ashley's back as she wriggled gently in her arms.

"You were always an optimist. I think that's why you're so good with all these kids. Even when these kids are so sick you still believe they can pull through and a lot of the time they do" Carolyn smiled remembering stories Lauren had told her of her residency as well as Derek and Amelia's stories from more recent cases.

"I always thought I got my optimism from you..."

"No, no you got that from your father. I was just an optimist by proxy" Carolyn chuckled softly "Lauren I would love to be around for when you and Amy get married, for when you girls and even Derek have kids but I won't be and it hurts thinking about that. With or without the surgery this cancer is still going to kill me before I see all those things happen. Please let me spend my last few months surrounded by you kids"

"I respect that Mom but I just wish you wanted to fight this. I just wish you'd let me help"

"You can help by being there for me like you're here for these kids. I just need you to be there" Lauren stood up shaking her head. Setting Ashley back down in her bed, she covered the three year old up with her blanket and left the room. Carolyn followed her daughter out silently, waiting for her response.

"I can't wait and watch you die Mom. I can't stand there and hold Amy as she watches you slowly slip away from us. She can't handle that, she'll just fall back into her old drug habits" she sighed and leant against the edge of the nurses' station facing her mother.

"Amelia will not go back to doing drugs. She's been doing so well"

"That's what she's been telling you but I've spoken to Addie. Amy is my little sister and I know her better than anyone. I know that when you told us you were sick, all she could think about was getting high to push through this" Lauren snapped softly "I have had Alex and now Derek and Meredith on constant 'Amy Watch' just so she won't do anything stupid. I haven't even had time to cry about the fact that my Mom is going to die because I've been too worried about Amelia"
"Oh Lauren..." Carolyn sighed softly and pulled Lauren into a gentle hug. Resting her head on her Mom's shoulder, Lauren burst into tears crying for the first time since Carolyn broke the news. Lauren pulled away a few minutes later and wiped her eyes

"I respect your decision not to go ahead with treatment and I won't push the surgery on you anymore it's just going to take some time for me to wrap my head around all this. I just worry about Amy is all"

"You and Amelia are strong, as long as you have each other you will both be fine"

Thoughts?

Can anyone really come to terms with death? I think this may be one of the last chapters of this story. It's been fun but all good things must come to an end