"I want a closed gallery. I can't have my brother or my sisters sitting up there watching my every move" Lauren insisted as hit the elevator button and waited with Alex. They were on their way up to the OR to operate on Carolyn's stomach cancer.

"Lauren this is a revolutionary surgery. Your gallery will be standing room only"

"Then video tape it or keep my family including Mark out of my gallery. I'm nervous enough about this surgery as it is" she sighed and stepped into the elevator with Alex. Taking her shoulders gently, Alex reassured her that everything would be fine. "You're gonna have to keep telling me that"

"Come here" he chuckled and pulled her into a gentle hug "And I will be there the whole time. I know it's not much consolation I'm just a resident"

"Just a resident?" she laughed and looked up at him "Haven't the last two months proved that you're more than just a resident to me?"

"Y'know this is the point where Amelia would tell us to get a room" Alex smiled and kissed her forehead before stepping away

"You're as bad as her. Jokes and sarcasm are just your defence mechanisms"

"Defence mechanism?"

"My sister is a shrink. She's been analysing Amelia and I since we were teenagers. We've heard every excuse in the book" she laughed as the doors of the elevator opened and Amelia was standing there in front of them "Speak of the sarcastic psychopath"

"I will slap you for that later" Amelia laughed "I came looking for you"

"What's wrong?" Lauren asked anxiously as Alex and Amelia walked towards Carolyn's room with her. The list of possible problems ran through her head with 'backing out of the surgery' number one.

"Every Shepherd, Montgomery and Forbes-Montgomery that has ever anything to do with Mom is in her room right now"

"Nancy and Kathleen's kids?"

"All of them"

"Bizzy and the Captain?"

"Uh-huh. Half of the Oceanside Wellness Group is here too"

"I cannot handle this today" Lauren sighed and ran her hands through her hair "I cannot see them before this surgery. I can't have little Connor and Emily's big puppy dog eyes haunting me through their Grammy's surgery"

"You've already done your pre-op exam so I'll go get your Mom" Alex insisted and stopped outside the scrub room "I will have your family kept out of the gallery even Derek"

"Does that include me?" Amelia asked with a dramatic pout. Her sister couldn't keep her out of this surgery. She had to watch her Mom fight.

"Yes especially you. Your big sad eyes are worse than Connor and Emily's put together"

"I hate you"

"I don't care" Lauren laughed and hugged Amelia quickly "Go keep your nieces and nephews company while I try to save their Grandmother's life"

"Hey Lauren?" Amelia asked softly "Don't think about who it is on that table today. Just think about how awesome you'll look on the cover of all those medical journals when you pull this off"

Lauren laughed softly as Amelia skipped off down the hall. She loved how her little sister could always brighten her mood no matter what the situation. Taking a deep breath, she kissed Alex one last time before walking into the scrub room and starting to prepare for the surgery.

Surgery was the one thing that could centre Lauren and calm her right down. It was the one thing in her life she knew she could control. Maintaining this thought of Zen, Lauren cleared her mind and focused on what she had to do. The patient wasn't her Mom and a room full of people weren't waiting to find out if she'd screwed up or not. As long as that sentence was, it was Lauren's mantra.

XXXXX

"She's still alive, you got all the cancer you could find and she's stable. You did it" Alex smiled as he and Lauren started scrubbing out.

"No I didn't do anything until she pulls out of the anaesthesia" Lauren snapped quickly before stopping, taking a breath and looking over at Alex "Sorry. I'm just so scared I took months away from my Mom by doing this surgery"

"Have a little faith. Isn't that what you say about your kids?"

"You're starting to scare me. You know me too well"

"That's what two months without sex does to you" he chuckled and handed Lauren a towel as he picked one up for himself.

"I'm sorry" she sighed softly and dried her hands "I'm really sorry"

"No it's ok. I love you so I'll wait"

"You love me?"

"Yes I love you" he smiled throwing his towel in the bin like a basketball three pointer and made his way to the door "I'm gonna go check on your Mom in recovery"

"I love you too by the way"

"I know that. You better go tell your family the good news about your Mom"

Lauren lingered in the scrub room for a minute before throwing her towel away and pulling off her scrub cap. Making her way up to the waiting room, she was engulfed by her immediate and extended family about Carolyn's condition. The doctors in the room were happy to hear she pulled through but were still concerned about Carolyn waking up from the anaesthesia, everyone else was just happy she was alive. After answering a million and one questions, Lauren finally managed to get away to check on some of her other patients. She continued to check on her Mom but left the room before anyone had the chance to ask much more than 'how is she doing?'

Sitting down in the rocking chair in her oncology ward, Lauren rocked back and forth as she watched some of her kids play together. They were a great group of kids so it was relaxing to just watch them play like they weren't even sick. Never did Lauren think that children with cancer would distract her from her Mom's cancer surgery.

"Your niece Jenny just asked Alex if he was her new uncle" Derek chuckled as he walked toward Lauren and sat down in the couch by her rocking chair. The Paeds oncology ward got all the comfy seats compared to the hard ones of the surgical floor.

"So now she's my niece huh?" she laughed

"She is because you should have seen the look on Alex's face"

"I feel so bad. When Mom and our sisters got here I promised he would only have to meet Amelia but now he's met everyone and their niece. Poor guy"

"He'll survive" Derek chuckled "If he can withstand the entire Shepherd family then he's a keeper"

"How is Meredith holding up? She actually is a post-it aunt now" Lauren laughed and put her feet up on her brother's lap. Usually he would push her light up sneaker right off but he was too relaxed in the comfy couch chair to care. He didn't really want to go down and be around all his family.

"She's been in surgery with Altman all day so she hasn't had the pleasure"

"Lucky girl..."

"So how often do you just sit up here?" Derek asked quickly changing the subject. He didn't want to think about letting Meredith loose among the Shepherd family. She was fragile and they could do some serious mental damage.

"Hold that..." Lauren mumbled as her pager went off. Checking it quickly, she froze as she read the message.

"What is it...? Lauren?"

"It's 911 for Mom" she gasped and quickly stood up racing out of the oncology ward and straight for the stairs. Derek was hot on her heels as they bounded down the stairs to the ICU. Both of them couldn't help but think of every bad possibility behind that page. Racing past confused nurses and hospital staff they got to their Mom's room only to see no code blue, no distress just calm. "What is going on? I got paged 911"

Thoughts? What's happening? Stay tuned