This is mostly a flashback chapter showing the relationship between Kendall and Alana from when they first met at 6 and when they had their first together and so on and so forth. I don't own Big Time Rush, nor do I own the song Lost In You by Three Days Grace. More drama to come next chapter, so leave a review of your thoughts and comments please. And Alana speaks Italian to her father who is in fact 100% Italian, I may put more conversations where she speaks Italian. Anyway enjoy the chapter. =]
"Be careful sweetheart," her mother called out as she trudged out onto her snowy porch.
"I will momma," she chirped back closing the door behind her as her puppy trotted behind her. "Come on thunder."
The small husky puppy barked happily following his young master who carefully skipped down the snow covered stairs and onto the white lawn. The tiny 6 year old girl clumped snow in her hands and tossed it to the dog that chomped at it ferociously, she giggled as the dog rolled around in the snow.
Suddenly the husky looked up and across the street, wagging his tail he barked and jumped excitedly. Curiously the young girl looked into the dog's line of vision and saw a blond boy about her age across the street making a snow man. Wanting to make a friend she picked up her dog and made her way across the street.
"Hi I'm Alana," she said nervously as she approached the boy. "What's your name?"
"I'm Kendall," he answered with a wide smile. "Is that your dog?"
"Uh-huh, his name's Thunder," she replied letting her wiggling puppy down, the furry animal immediately pounced over the blond. "He likes you."
"I always wanted a dog, you're lucky," he replied and giggled when the dog managed to lick his cheek as he leaned down to pet the husky.
"Hey do you want to come over to my house, my mom's baking cookies?" she asked hopefully, her bright hazel eyes begging him to say yes.
"Sure, I'll ask my mom," he said hopping up his snow covered steps.
After being given permission the two 6 year olds made their way across the street to Alana's house. Opening the door, the young girl called loudly to her mother who was in the kitchen.
"Momma I made a new friend," she exclaimed dragging the blond boy into the kitchen as a short chocolate woman pulled out a cookie sheet from the oven.
"Well it's nice to meet you, what's your name, sweet heart?" the woman asked kindly kneeling to the boy's level.
"Kendall, Alana's eyes don't look like yours," he said noticing his new friend's mother had golden brown eyes.
"I got my eyes from my daddy, where is he momma?" Alana interjected still holding the blond's hand.
"He's in the living room."
She lead the blond to the living room, which was had a large screen TV, and comfortable black leather couches. In the arm chair facing the TV was a tan man, with thick wavy black hair; Alana dropped the blond's hand as she hopped into the man's lap.
"Daddy Ho fatto un nuovo amico di oggi, il suo nome è Kendall," she said with a wide smile to her father. (I made a new friend today, his name is)
"La mia piccola principessa ha fatto un amico, ha fatto arrivare a tuono incontrarlo?" he responded, Kendall saw the man's bright blue green eyes sparkle. (my little princess has made a friend, did thunder get to meet him)
"Of course daddy, Kendall this is my daddy he gave me my eyes," Alana spoke to the blond in English, he nodded in response.
"Alana the cookies are done," her mother called from the kitchen preventing the young boy to ask another question.
"Time for cookies!" the chocolate girl chirped loudly sliding off her father's lap and leading the blond back to the kitchen.
As the blond sat with her at the round wooden table he could tell that he and Alana were going to be best friends.
...
"Kenny…have you ever wondered what kissing was like?" Alana curiously asked her best friend as they watched Cartoons together in her living room.
"No… why?" he asked back curiously.
"Cuz I heard my brother talking to himself about his girlfriend and how kissing her is the best thing ever… and he said she tasted good."
"Sounds like he wanted to eat her," the young blond replied sticking his tongue out.
She giggled at his expression, when he retracted his tongue Alana looked at him contemplatively. Feeling her eyes on him, Kendall turned to her and just as he was going to speak but Alana cut him off with her lips against his.
He was surprised by the brief contact, his eyes widened as he tasted candy, icing and chocolate. When she pulled back, she looked to him expectantly making the pink color on his cheeks deepen.
"Was it bad?" she asked tilting her head to the side.
"No… it was nice I guess," he replied nervously, satisfied Alana turned back to the TV, but scooted closer to the boy which made him smile.
...
Alana held the furry animal in her hands carefully as she stood on Kendall's front steps, when he opened the door the 10 year old was surprised to see Alana with a baby rabbit in her hands.
"You got a rabbit?" he asked almost dumbly as he let her in.
"No I found him, well thunder sniffed him out from under the back porch," she replied setting the small creature on the kitchen table.
"Why bring him here?"
"Because you and Katie can keep him safe till he's big enough to live outside."
"Katie's 6 and I don't know how to take care of a rabbit."
"Your mom would know how, please Kenny for the bunny."
"Okay fine, I'll keep it."
"Thanks Kenny," she cheered and hugged him to her tightly.
"You're welcome," he replied hugging her back.
I always knew that you'd
Come back to get me
And you always knew that
It wouldn't be easy
To go back to the start
To see where it all began
...
Kendall watched his best friend sit on her bed, she looked like she was going to puke.
"What is it Ally?" he asked sitting next to her wrapping an arm around her petite shoulders.
"When I was 5…we used to live in New York," she sniffled as tears started to drip from her hazel eyes.
"I remember you telling me that," he said rubbing her back in hopes of easing her tears. "You know, you don't have to tell me."
"I want to…you're my best friend," she took a shaky breath. "When I was 5 my uncle… did things to me, and sometimes…"
Or end up at the bottom
To watch how it all ends
You tried to lie and say
I was everything
I remember when I said
I'm nothing without you
She broke off into heavy sobs; Kendall pulled her closed rubbing her back feeling anger boil at what she was said.
"Does your dad know, did they send him to jail?"
"Yes and yes, but I don't want anyone else to know… I don't want Carlos, James and Logan to know just yet," she hiccupped as she buried her face into the blond's neck.
"I promise, I won't tell," he said putting a gentle kiss to her forehead and then kissed away her tears.
"Thank you Kenny," she replied gratefully.
"It's what I'm here for," he said pulling her into another hug."You're going to laugh when I say this," Alana muttered looking to the ground.
...
"Just tell me, I won't laugh, I swear on my mother red hair," Kendall said seriously, but his mocha best friend laughed none the less.
"Be serious Kendall."
Somehow I found
A way to get lost in you
Let me inside
Let me get close to you
"I am being serious, just tell me, why you look like you want to die every time a guy who is not me, James, Carlos or Logan get really close to you."
"Well…I've got Phallophobia…it's a fear of…ugh…" she trailed off embarrassed and looked to her shoes.
"Fear of what…Oh…you mean penis phobia?" he asked his green eyes wide and round as dinner plates.
"Yeah…stupid isn't it?"
Change your mind
I'll get lost
If you want me to
Somehow I found
A way to get lost in you
"No, it makes perfect sense, I'm just surprised you could keep your composure that time Trevor and those idiots flashed you."
"I did my best to not scream and vomit… anyway though I wanted to ask you something."
"About… what?"
"Could you help me… get rid of my fear?"
"How am…wait you want us to…?" he trailed off feeling his heart pick up in speed.
You always thought that
I left myself open
But you didn't know
I was already broken
I told myself that
It wouldn't be so bad
"Yeah, it's the only way that will work."
"You mean you've tried other ways… like therapy and meds?"
"I have…and my therapist told me that, this might work best."
"So are you sure you want to do it?" Kendall asked Alana as he twisted their fingers together.
"Of course I'm sure, how else am I going to get over this stupid phobia I have," she replied moving herself closer to him to gain some of his warmth.
"But what if…" he was cut off when she placed her finger to his lips.
Pulling away you took
Everything that I had
You tried to lie and
Say I was everything
I remember when I said
I'm nothing without you
"As long as it's you I'll be fine Kenny," she said smiling softly.
"Well if you don't want to, I won't be mad," he replied after removing her fingers from his lips.
"I'll be fine," she assured him squeezing both of his hands.
...
"So you're just leaving?" Kendall asked as he sat down on the bench after brushing the snow off.
"I was actually planning on telling you guys," a petite chocolate girl replied.
"When, right at the moment you sat down on that plane?" the blonde inquired curiously his green eyes looking to her intently.
Somehow I found
A way to get lost in you
Let me inside
Let me get close to you
"Kenny it was suppose to be a surprise, and plus I had to start packing my stuff and call my brother," she replied her hazel eyes looking into his.
"So when does your flight leave?"
"Tomorrow morning, 7:00 am, then I have to get my schedule, get a tour of the campus and all that junk."
Change your mind
I'll get lost
If you want me to
Somehow I found
A way to get lost in you
Kendall sighed and looked down at the snow covered ground; he really didn't know why she waited so long to mention that she was leaving Minnesota possibly forever.
"Are you going to visit?"
"Of course I'll visit, it's not like I'm going to erase my life here."
"It kind of feels like that, you know."
She looked to him and smiled softly, scooting closer to him she leaned into him and with out another word he wrapped his arms around her. Softly their lips brushed against each others, a thought then came to Kendall's mind as he pulled his mouth from hers.
The pain of it all
The rise and the fall
I see it all in you
Now everyday
I find myself sayin'
I want to get lost in you
I'm nothing without you
"Do you think we should break up, since long distance relationships don't always work?" he asked, he didn't see the pain that flickered over her bright eyes.
"Sure, but it's not like people know that we're dating expect Logan, James and Carlos," she replied.
"That's true I guess…I'll still miss the most though," he said with a soft smile and kissed her again.
She smiled in response and leaned back into his shoulder hugging onto him tightly as he'd evaporate.
Somehow I found
A way to get lost in you
Let me inside
Let me get close to you
"I guess I should get going, still got some things left to pack, including Spencer," she said pulling from the warm embrace.
"You're taking your cat with you?" he asked failing to hide his spreading grin.
"Of course, he'd be miserable with out me."
The blonde snorted, but he didn't doubt her, that fluffy cat of hers acted like a dog or the same way Carlos did after not seeing her for an hour.
"I'll call you later okay."
"And when you land?"
"Jesus you're like my mother."
"And make sure you send all of us a text when you start school."
"Anything else you want to tell me Ma,"
"I'm gonna miss you Ally."
"I'll miss you two Kendall."
Change your mind
I'll get lost
If you want me to but
Somehow I found (somehow I found)
A way to get lost in you (a way to get lost in you)
...
Kendall looked to see Alana rushing away from the actor Dak Zevon again, apparently the guy couldn't take no for an answer. The sight of the actor desperately flirting with his best friend made his blood boil, but before he could go over to them sharp nails dug into his arm and turned him around abruptly.
"What's wrong Jo?" he asked innocently looking to the fuming blond girl.
"Don't you 'what's wrong Jo' me, you know what's wrong," she hissed digging her nails more into his arm, the male blond winced from the pain.
"I honestly have no idea what you're talking about," he replied and managed to remove his girlfriend's sharp nails from his shirt, and skin.
"You still want her don't you?" she accused pointing to the chocolate girl who was now walking past them, and clearly ignoring them.
"So what if I do, shouldn't you be trying to make me want you more?" he asked raising a brow at her and crossing his arms over his chest.
"How dare you… I am trying to…" she started but was rudely cut off.
"No you're not, you sit around babbling about things I don't care about, and constantly talk about how awful Ally is when you don't even know her, she's the girl who always had something good to say, she's the girl who found a baby raccoon in her garage and saved it from freezing to death, she's the girl who I had my first kiss with, she's the girl who I tell all my secrets to, she's the girl who I had my first time with," the blond ranted to the other who stood wide eyed.
"I didn't know all that… but you can tell that she's just a whore!"
Green eyes narrowed as he shook in silent rage, breathing deeply he kept himself from lashing out.
"I should be saying that to you, Alana's not a whore and I say that because you're a lot easier than any other skank I've ever met," Kendall said snidely.
Jo stood mouth gaping and closing like a goldfish when he pushed past her and walked to the elevator. She turned ready to scrap up something to make him forgive her.
"Oh…and before I forget… we're done," he said harshly and stepped into the elevator.
As the silver doors closed tears streamed from the blond girl's brown eyes, she rushed out of the lobby not wanting anyone to see her in such a miserable state.
"Did you see that?" Logan whispered to the others hiding behind Bitters's desk .
"Yes, now all we have to do is let everything fall into place," Camille said brightly high five-ing the boys crouching with her.
Kendall stood in front of Alana's door, rocking on the balls of his feet he knocked hoping that Alana would open up. He had something important to tell her.
So what do you think, leave me a review please. xoxo