A/N: This is a Family Guy/Suite Life Crossover. If you are easily offended by comedy, then please don't read this. This is full of satire, and if you have sensitive skin and are any of the following, please don't read this. I don't want to be considered a prejudiced person, I just like real world comedy. This is M rated, only T right now so you can read about this and decide whether to continue. This is for people who like hard comedy mixed with some real world themes. So if you are any of the following, and get offended easily, please don't read this.

Chapter 3

We don't own these characters, but it would be nice if we did.

Anyways, we do promise to keep them true to themselves.

Quahog, Rhode Island

Stewie finished up his packing. After stuffing his laser, he threw in some extra uranium, just in case he needed some extra if his uranium suitcase exploded. Stewie, who wasn't much for the water, decided he would enjoy being on a boat. He could be more independent, and he could relax while dreaming of ways to commit matricide.

"Stewie honey? Get packed sweetie." Lois stood on the step of the stairs, holding her suitcase.

"BLAST YOU WOMAN!" Stewie replied. This was enough. He didn't want to be a gay little song boy anymore. "Stupid McFarlane. Ruining my character. So what if he's an author? He can't change my character. He doesn't even know who I am, despite being the writer who dreamt me up. So what if I have slight homosexual tendencies? I'M A MURDERER!"

Stewie hesitated for a second, and then grabbed his planning paper from the top of his desk. It was time. Lois would be dead, and he the Supreme Ruler of the World. He let out a laugh, and evil laugh that echoed all over his room. Stuart Gilligan Griffin was fulfilling his destiny.

Downstairs

"Brian, are you all packed up? Chris and Meg are already in the car, and Lois is bringing Stewie."

Brian looked up at Peter who was waiting impatiently, arms crossed over his chest.

"Just a second Peter."

He turned back to his suitcase, and he pulled out an incomplete poster. He jerked his head around to face Peter once again.

"Hey Peter, do you know which cruise we're going to be on?"

"No idea Brian. Why?"

"I want to know which corporate name I'm going to give the finger."

Peter looked at Brian strangely. "Brian, what does corporate mean? Remember, I'm retarded!"

Brian groaned, and he motioned to Peter to walk with him to the car. They got in the usual order: the adults and the dog in the front, and the kids in the back. Peter hit the gas, and the car zoomed out of Spooner Street.

The ride to Quahog International took only half an hour, and before long, they were in the private terminal Seth told them to go to.

Also waiting in the private terminal was Quagmire, two of his "girls", Joe, Bonnie, and Susie. Cleveland was already picked up, and his flight would be stopping here before it continued to its destination. They went in, and began to wait quietly.

After waiting for half an hour, everyone started to get extremely restless. Quagmire took a bunch of couches to a corner of the room to build a little room for himself and his girls. Joe started to exercise by pushing his wheelchair for 50 laps around the room, and Bonnie sat Susie down her lap and began talking with Lois. Stewie, like Quagmire, isolated himself in a part of a room so he could work on his plans. Chris and Peter were randomly torturing Meg, so Brian had no one to hang out with. He wandered over by the entrance, where he bumped into some one who he didn't expect.

"Seth? What the hell are you doing here? I thought you would be on vacation too, relaxing."

He nodded at Brian, his face grim. "Well Brian, you do know the people who surround you. I have to explain everything to them, and I'm sure you have some questions for me as well."

Seth moved towards the middle of the room, clapping his hands twice. Everyone scrambled back to the seats, waiting patiently for Seth.

Seth walked over to the stacked couches at the other end of the room.

"Quagmire?"

A thumbs up appeared, and Seth nodded. "Oh, Quagmire."

As everyone quieted down, Seth cleared his throat. He had to explain everything carefully so these people would understand.

"Now, as you all know, I'm sending you on a cruise so you can have a short break from the show. This will be for a month, and all of you get the master suites on the ship. All expenses are paid for, and enjoy yourselves. This is a time to relax and be lazy. Sleep in and eat breakfast at lunch. Breakfast at dinner if you want. Just remember you can do anything you want. Now, any questions?"

Peter raised his hand meekly, before putting it down again. Once again, he raised it meekly before putting it down. This continued for about a minute, before Seth impatiently called on him. "Yes, Peter?"

"Um, yeah. Well, is this place going to have a bar? Because you know I love to drink!"

Seth nodded, sighing at the stupidity of his star.

Brian raised his hand. "I have a question. Which specific cruise are we going to? Because you've never told us."

Seth nodded with a smile, as if he was expecting this. "Of course Brian. You see, I decided to give you the experience of the greatest cruise ever, so you'll be going on the SS Tipton.

Everyone cheered, except for Brian. Even Quagmire gave a satisfied sound from the corner, although it could have been argued why he was happy.

Brian stormed towards Seth. "Seth, Tipton is a greedy oil hungry bastard who wants to rid the earth of its environmental resources. You're a liberal, so why are you paying the biggest corporate sleazebag of all time?"

"Brian, it's the best cruise ever. Plus, there are a few people on the boat I'd like you to meet. You've heard of Seven Seas High of course?"

"Yeah, that school on the ship created so London Tipton couldn't jet off to Paris during school. Why?"

"Well, there's some people you should meet. Look for Cody Martin and Bailey Pickett. They usually hang around in the aqua lounge or the SkyDeck. You'll know 'em when you see 'em. You might be intellectually bested for the first time since Lauren Conrad!"

Brian flipped Seth off.

Finally after waiting 5 hours at the terminal, the plane finally came. Everyone quickly entered the plane, and each group got its own little apartment. As soon as they entered, everyone stuffed themselves full and fell asleep. Everyone, except for one.

To be Continued...