Chapter 6 (:

6-Analysis

Tuesday afternoon, Caleb sat down next to Hay Lin at the lunch table. Will and Matt were across the round table, already beginning to eat. He brought out the sub he threw together before leaving the house and took a bite into it.

"Is anyone sitting here?" A voice asked from behind him, and he didn't have to turn to know who it was. Instead he caught Will's and Matt's faces; both wearing apathetic expressions. "Take a seat," he said, knowing he didn't have to check if Hay Lin would mind - she wouldn't.

"So, I'm trying this new acting exercise," Cornelia explained after sitting down comfortably in the seat. "Ms. Monty actually recommended it to me this morning. She said that you and I should spend more time with each other so we can 'build a connection.'" Cornelia brought up her hands and did a quoting action with her fingers as she said the last three words. "So I decided I would sit with you at lunch."

Caleb was suddenly uncomfortable. He fought the urge to say 'I'm already feeling a connection.' He felt lucky that he had good self control and could keep the words in his own private thoughts. Instead, he opened his mouth and said, "Cool."

He noticed Cornelia glance across the table and she started talking again, "I'm sorry! That was rude, I'm Cornelia."

Caleb knew he was directing this at Will and Matt. After all, they were the only ones at the table that didn't know each other.

"Hi," Will said from across the table. Caleb recognized the shakiness in her voice. Ever since she was seven she had been using that tone when she was nervous. "I'm Will."

"Matt," Matt introduced himself bluntly, and Caleb guessed Matt was in a state of shock. Not because Cornelia was sitting with them, but because this only confirmed to him that Caleb - his best friend - had to have something going on with this girl to have her sitting with them.

"Nice to meet you," Cornelia smiled. She then began to dig through her bag for something.

Caleb looked up from their table and saw Irma and Taranee heading in their direction. It was plain that Irma was confused. After all, it's not everyday she would walk up to the table and Cornelia would be in her regular seat.

"Hi guys." Taranee said, taking a seat between Will and Hay Lin. "And…"

"Cornelia." Cornelia was quick to fill in the blank.

Taranee looked from Caleb to Cornelia, then back to Caleb. Finally, her eyes settled on Cornelia and she offered an awkward grin, "I'm Taranee."

Caleb noticed Irma was still standing. She had a reluctant expression on her face while she glared at the only empty chair left at the table; the one next to Cornelia. Caleb knew Irma better than to storm off and sit somewhere else. She normally faced her problems. So when she pulled on the back of the last chair and dragged it out far enough for herself to sit, Caleb wasn't surprised.

As the rest of the inhabitants of the table pulled out their lunches and began to eat, Caleb couldn't help but noticed the awkward silence that fell over them. He ended up thinking about his drive home last night, and how he had picked Cornelia up and drove her home. He wondered if she was thinking about that now, too. If she was, she was doing a great job at hiding it, because she had barely looked at him since she sat there.

He bit into his sandwich again when he noticed Cornelia glancing from person to person at the table.

"So do you guys spend all of your lunches…this quietly." Caleb could tell she meant for it to be rhetorical, or not even a question at all.

When no one answered, he watched as she laced her arm through her bag and push her chair away, "You know what, this was stupid of me. I'll just-"

"No, it's fine." Caleb reassured her suddenly. He noticed Irma scowling at him, and that brought a realization upon him. Why exactly was he trying to get Cornelia to stay?

"No, I didn't mean to make this all awkward…" Cornelia was slowly rising from her seat, "I'll just go sit with my friends-"

Caleb grabbed her arm and forced her back down, "It's okay."

"No it's-"

"Just sit down." Caleb said firmly, and to his surprise, Cornelia looked nervous as she sat back on the chair.

Caleb didn't see it, but he felt Matt and Will giving him odd looks. Looks that were screaming, 'What was that sudden burst of wanting her here about?'

"Because, we have to build that connection, right?" Caleb covered for himself.

Cornelia gave him a wide-eyed look. He wasn't sure if she was going to run away right then or not. She didn't. A sudden grin appeared on her face, "Right!" And her attention turned to Will. Within minutes, the two were engaged in deep conversation about something they surprisingly had in common - reading. Soon, Taranee and Hay Lin joined in, naming their favourite books. Even Matt threw in his occasional comment. Caleb found it odd that of all the things Cornelia shared with his friends, it would be reading. She didn't seem the type to curl up on her sofa and read under a cozy blanket.

Caleb breathed a sigh of relief as everything seemed to settle down and the awkwardness lifted. Except for the fact that Irma had isolated herself; eating her lunch and paying attention to her unfinished homework - something she never did.

Caleb then brought his thoughts back to his last words. We have to build a connection, right? He remembered what he had thought when Cornelia had first told him that. How he was already feeling something between them. The word seemed to odd to him. Connection. Something he had never really felt with anyone else - or at least not very strongly. But after last night he kept feeling something inside of himself that he couldn't quite sum up. He felt that he had seen a side of Cornelia that not many people knew about. A vulnerable, insecurity about her.

In the midst of their conversation about their favourite books, Caleb caught Cornelia's eye. Just for a second. And in that one, short second, he had the sense that she was already feeling a connection as well.

... ...

Cornelia left through the front doors of the school, and was already halfway down the next block when she heard her name being called from behind her. She was positive that if the smile hadn't already crept onto her face, it would have forced its way on, to show her evident glee that Caleb was chasing after her.

"Hey," Cornelia waited until he caught up next to her, then began walking again.

Caleb was one of those few people who didn't have to work to keep up with her quick paces. She guessed he was naturally fast at walking as well.

"Where's your car?" Cornelia asked.

"You think I'd want to drive home on a beautiful day like this?" Caleb returned.

Cornelia took that answer. It was, after all, the reason she didn't have her car. It was gorgeous out, and there was no reason to punish the earth for it by releasing toxic gases into the air.

"Listen," Caleb started, "Are you busy right now?"

Cornelia felt her stomach suddenly do a flip. What was that? She thought silently to herself. Sure, her stomach had flipped before, but not because of a small reason like that. She was so used to guys asking if she was busy, she knew what was coming next. Maybe that's why she felt like she was going to hurl. She was nervous because it was Caleb asking her this time. "Umm…no." She fought her urge to sound excited.

Her stomach did another turn when Caleb flashed a smile at her, "Let me buy you a drink."

"I-" Cornelia broke off. She made herself a promise at the beginning of summer. A promise she couldn't even explain to Elyon why she'd made it. No drinks until she was twenty one. "I'm sorry…I don't drink."

Caleb chuckled, "I meant a soda. Or a milkshake."

That was a total palm against forehead moment. Of course he was talking about that. She shouldn't have been so stupid. He wouldn't have been offering her an alcoholic drink, especially since they weren't even of age. "Oh…well, then. Yes, I'd love something to drink!" Her relief was expressed in an excited tone; the tone she was trying not to use.

"You really thought I meant alcohol?" Caleb questioned, "That's funny."

"I try." Cornelia grinned, even though she wasn't trying at all.

He took her to the coffee shop a few blocks down from the school. Considering how close it was, Cornelia had never really gone there during lunch breaks or after classes. It was an old-fashioned sort of place, and it seemed they were trying to keep it that way. The waitress who served them was in roller blades with her hair done up like someone you would see from That 70's Show.

"Sorry about earlier," Caleb said.

"You mean lunch?" Cornelia asked, although she already knew that's what he was talking about.

"Yeah."

"It's fine." She noticed that she had replied too soon, so she slowed down her words when she continued, "It got better after Will and I got talking."

Caleb let out one of his chuckles. The chuckle that Cornelia was beginning to love. "It's funny how the one thing you two have in common is reading."

Cornelia let a slight pout form on her lips, aiming for cuteness which she most obviously achieved, "I'm a very avid reader."

Caleb chuckled again. Not only was Cornelia beginning to love it, she noticed, she was beginning to find it rather sexy.

Their drinks arrived and that's when the conversation stopped for a few moments, until Caleb set down his coffee and looked at Cornelia with his emerald eyes; his face serious.

"Remember what you asked me on Saturday?"

Cornelia thought for a moment. Did you really mean it, when you said I was shallow…and self centered? That was the only thing she had asked him, so she figured that must be it. Sort of embarrassed that she had even bothered asking, she nodded her head.

"Well, I think I have an answer better than what I gave you."

Cornelia had to think again, this time not taking as long. He had said I don't know.

Before she could reply, he went on. "I think…there's a side to you. A side that you don't let many people see because you'd rather them think you have this perfect thing going on."

Cornelia figured you couldn't do much worse than I don't know. But this? Was he implying that she was fake. She must have shown her response in her expression, because Caleb quickly covered for himself.

"You have a vulnerability, I mean. But you don't let that show because you don't want to be vulnerable." He paused, biting his bottom lip, then continued, "I think I got to see that side of you last night."

Cornelia felt her whole face soften and she swallowed a lump in her throat. No one had ever told her of this before. Even more, no one had ever seen the side of her Caleb had just mentioned…except Caleb.

Once again, he started before she could reply, "And you find it hard to trust people. Because you've been betrayed by so many people in your life." He leaned back in his chair, "You parents…Irma." He probably could have gone on with the list had he known her a bit better. "You couldn't trust them, so why should you trust anyone else."

"You're wrong." Cornelia felt herself blurt, and before she could stop herself, she let even more escape her mouth, "I trust lots of people. Elyon…and Alchemy. And I must trust you if I told you all of that stuff yesterday."

Caleb arched an eyebrow and Cornelia bit her tongue in her mouth. What did she just say?

"And I'm not vulnerable…I…I just…" she trailed off. For a moment she had no idea what exactly what she would say, but then a light bulb went off in her head.

"You try and act all cool, like you don't care," Cornelia said. Now it was her turn to analyze him. "But you do care. You care about your dad and you hate that he won't go back to rehab. And you hate that you have to earn a living for the both of you. And you hate that your like the father in your household."

"How did you know my dad doesn't have a job?"

"It was obvious the way your house looks. Someone was living in it and it wasn't you with the way you're running around from school to rehearsal to work." Cornelia quickly replied. She was on a roll now, and she wasn't about to stop, "And you only open up to people who you feel can understand you, because like me, it's too hard to just give out trust."

"So I was right."

"About what?"

"That you find it hard to trust people."

"I-"

Caleb grinned, "Relax." He held up both of his hands, as if he were surrendering to something. "I have a question for you," he said, changing the subject completely.

Cornelia arched one of her eyebrows. Se had boys tell her how sexy it was when she did that, and she was hoping Caleb found it that way as well.

"Why aren't you and Irma friends anymore?"

Cornelia was taken aback, although she tried her best not to show it. Anytime the subject of Irma was brought up she felt her stomach rise to her throat and her heart drop to the floor. She could handle being around the girl, but talking about what Irma had done to her. What she had done to Irma? It was a horrible topic she would rather not face.

"I…" Cornelia started. She brought her eyes up from her drink to meet Caleb's, and noticed just how interested in her answer he actually was. That was why what he said next surprised her.

"If you'd rather not talk about it, I understand."

Cornelia involuntarily shook her head. Like yesterday, this was something she felt she should share with him. She began, although still puzzled as to why she was suddenly so prone to opening up to him.

"At the beginning of freshman year, Irma and I were really close." She started. There was a moment where she felt herself almost physically thrust back into the memory. "I started dating this guy…" she decided not to say the name, "And he was really great, but the thing is, I didn't know that Irma was into him too, and when she told me we got in this huge fight because she was keeping secrets from me. And she had the nerve to tell me that I wasn't considering her feelings."

"That's it?"

Cornelia glared at him and pursed her lips, "You think that's it? Of course not." She took in a breath before continuing, "So we got back to normal about a week later. And then that weekend there was this huge party and I lost her after a few minutes in the crowd. So I figured I'd go find that guy, the one I was dating."

"So…even after Irma told you that she was into him, you still dated him?"

Cornelia shrugged. He made it sound worse than it was, "Irma told me to stay with him. She said I'd piss her off more if I broke it off. Anyways, I went looking for him…and I got a two for one package."

She watched as slow realization washed over Caleb's face. He opened his mouth to say something, but Cornelia started first.

"I found him and Irma. They seemed to be having a great time." She felt her throat close when it came to the last part, and she fought back tears.

"I'm sorry that happened," Caleb said slowly, as if he wasn't even sure it was the right thing to say. "I didn't realize Irma…"

Cornelia hated what she said next. "She's no worse than I am."

"What?"

"And that still doesn't explain why she's so angry with me."

She wanted to bite her tongue. It wasn't like her to just blurt these things to someone. But then again, she had already told the worst yesterday; Caleb already knew most of it, so why not tell the rest and get it out ahead?

"No matter how much she apologized I wouldn't listen. And about a month and a half after that there was another big, big party. That was the day I told Irma I forgave her and that I wanted to hang out with her at the party. The problem was, I didn't really forgive her at all."

Cornelia appreciated that Caleb had stayed silent the entire time, but at the moment, she wished he would interrupt. Not so she wouldn't have to tell him the truth, but so that she wouldn't have to relive it.

"She brought along her new boyfriend, and I took that to my advantage. I cornered him and played nice until he was wrapped around my finger." She stopped when she heard a snort come from Caleb. "What?"

"That's a talent you have, hey?"

"What is?"

Caleb let out a breath and leaned forward, "You're good at making anyone you want like you."

Cornelia hadn't realized she had instinctively leaned forward as well until she felt his breath falling lightly onto her face. She pulled herself back and took a long sip from her drink, "Are you implying something?" Now it was Caleb's turn to lean back, and for some reason, she was surprised by his reaction. He stayed calm after she implied that he was implying that she had gotten him to like her. Wouldn't most guys be flustered? His answer shocked her even more, "I might be."

Cornelia wanted so badly to lean forward and just kiss him. But she held herself back. She felt that if she did that, the butterflies in her stomach might enlarge and she'd throw up. He made her that nervous. So nervous that she felt forced to steer the conversation back to the dreadful topic. "Anyways, Irma caught me and him in pretty much the same position I found her in with my boyfriend a month and a half earlier."

Caleb seemed not to be paying attention. His gaze had shifted to outside, looking out the glass window. There wasn't much interesting out there; a kid riding his bike and the usual traffic. Finally, he responded, "And she hasn't forgiven you?" He said it as a question but she knew he knew the answer.

"I don't blame her," Cornelia shrugged her shoulders and found her eyes being drawn to the ground. Thinking of what she had done made her become ashamed of herself, but actually having to relive the events made her sick.

Caleb seemed to have noticed her expression, because he reached out his hand, as if he was going to place it on top of hers for comfort, but just as the distance between their palms, he pulled his back. "Don't worry about it."

"But…it was so horrible of me."

"That doesn't matter now," Caleb responded, and just by the soft tone in his voice, it was obvious he really did believe that. "It's not something you would do now, is it?"

Cornelia didn't have to think twice, "Of course not."

"Then it's not who you are. So it doesn't matter."

There was a certain truth to not just what he said, but how he was saying it. And that, to Cornelia, was comforting.

Well, that answers a lot of questions I know some of you were wondering.

As for my next update, I'm sorry but I don't know how long it's going to take. I've got a couple of exams this week and an essay so it might be a bit longer than usual.

Here's a look at chapter 7:

... ...

"Irma…" she started. She held out her hand with the invitation in next to Irma. "You should come too," a small smile appeared on her face. Her expression almost looked…hopeful.

Caleb noticed Irma's eyes hover towards the invitation, and slowly, her hand raised and took it from Cornelia. Caleb thought he saw the smallest of grins fighting itself onto Irma's face, but it didn't win. At last, all Irma said was, "Thanks."

... ...

Review, please and thank you (: