Chapter 4

Toby walked to his apartment door glad the first day back on the truck was over. As he approached the frosted glass window he could see the envelope taped to the glass with the carefully printed name TOBY in black ink across the front. Glancing around as he opened the envelope he felt the hairs on the back of his neck bristle.

South Entrance of the park. 8pm - Alone.

He checked his watch… the meeting was in half an hour. There was no name attached to the note, but it had to be Ethan. Toby grabbed a quick bite to eat then headed off to find out what his brother had to say this time.

Darkness had not quite engulfed the park when Toby saw Ethan standing a few feet away with a backpack slung over one shoulder. There was no gun in his hands this time which was a relief, but what could be in the backpack still gave Toby pause.

"Hey…" Toby nodded a greeting and sat down on the bench even though Ethan continued to stand while staring at him with hawk-like eyes.

"There's something you need to know. " Ethan scanned the area to make sure no one was close enough to see or hear them. He reached into the backpack and withdrew a small green journal. Reluctantly Ethan came to sit beside Toby so they both could see the writing on the pages. "I know why Maya was trying to find you. " Toby perked up anxious for the information, but resisting the urge to snatch the book from his brother's hand.

"She's careful not to list places or information that could be tracked back to find her, but she did write about her condition… it was getting worse. " A hand caressed the page with the handwritten lines from a woman he had never met.

"Condition?" The edge to Toby's voice was razor sharp.

"Recent medical scans were showing damage to…" He flipped over a couple of pages to find what he was looking for, "the right parahippocapal gyrus. " he read the words awkwardly as one completely unfamiliar with medical knowledge. "I don't know medical lingo – "

Toby leaned over to read the pages himself.

"but she seems to believe from some brain scans that her telepathic ability has damaged that part of her head." Ethan continued. "I think she wanted to warn you… not sure what could be done for her … or us if it's true." Feeling awkward at being so close, Ethan handed the book to Toby and stood up to put a few steps of distance between them. Toby was engrossed in the journal, but he glanced up to see where Ethan was headed.

"She wanted to warn you… guess Maya figured I was a lost cause." Pain underlay the forced laugh. Ethan stood a few feet away facing off from Toby. The paramedic closed the book.

"Where did you get this journal?" a thousand questions exploded in Toby's mind.

"You're not the only one that saw the car wreck… I went there and found it a few hours after the vision hit. Maya was gone, but the journal was lying on the floor of the passenger seat… the snow had already started to mask the foot prints leading away and I soon lost the trail."

"Footprints… she walked away then. She's out there." Toby whispered more to himself than anyone else.

"Yeah I guess she is. "

"We can find her. I know we can… if we just –" The excitement in Toby's voice was not shared by Ethan.

"What makes you so sure she wants to be found? Or at least by me… Do you have any idea what it was like to grow up at the Institute? To live your whole life being told that you were a freak not even a mother could love? " Years of bottled up pain and rage finally had an outlet and the emotional dam broke. Tears burst forth from Ethan's eyes as feelings long pushed aside washed over him.

"Maya didn't give you up Ethan. They took you from her arms… Clooney took you from her. I was watching from where I was hiding in the woods. She cried out for you, but couldn't stop him. She loved you." Toby's voice was intense with emotion trying to make Ethan understand, " I don't know why she never came back to either of us for the past twenty three years, but maybe …. Maybe she thought staying away from us would keep us out of danger. Maybe she was unable to get to us…. I don't know. What I do know is she needs us just as much as we need her."

"I don't NEED anyone. Learned a long time ago that I can't count on anyone but myself." The anger was winning out along with the underlying fear of trusting someone only to have that trust snatched away.

"You have to trust someone eventually. I can't say I know what you've been through, but I do know what it's like to be alone. This gift we share sets us apart … but it doesn't have to anymore. You have me." Toby had not moved from his sitting position on the bench in order to not risk Ethan taking off. Now he dared to stand up and move closer to the younger man who was desperately trying to survive his world having been turned upside down.

"You don't know me or what I've done." Ethan's eyes narrowed challenging Toby. ++ or what I'm capable of doing ++ the last bit blasted through Toby's mind like fire causing the paramedic to gasp and put his hands to the side of his head. "I'm a monster created by the Institute to destroy."

Toby blinked back the blinding pain in his temples and forced the words out, "You are my brother, and no one can change that."

"I'm no one's brother or son…" The gun was pulled from Ethan's pocket before Toby could react. In one sudden fluid movement Ethan brought the gun up to his temple and fired.

"Nooo!" Toby lurched forward, but he was not in time to stop the bullet from grazing Ethan's temple. The attempt to end his life had been fueled by rising emotion rather than well planned out despair, and that one fact probably saved Ethan's life. Toby put pressure on the gash aside his brother's head with one hand as he dialed 911 with the other. The gun and journal were dropped into the backpack and tossed over Toby's shoulder as he waited for the ambulance.

Charlie played back the footage of the robbery, frame by frame, till her eyes burned, looking for something to follow up on. She was about to give up for the night when suddenly her eye caught the glint of light off something metallic on the man's wrist. Zooming in and clarifying the image she could make out a cufflink that had shown on Clooney's wrist from underneath the glove. When he had reached in to grab the file the glove had momentarily lifted and the lamp behind him shown on the metal emblem. The symbol was not one she was familiar with but it was a starting place to unravel what ties Victor Clooney had to whoever wanted Toby.

After an unfruitful search of the internet for a way to identify the symbol on the cuff link, Charlie turned to the one piece of evidence she had not yet reviewed – Ray's file on Toby. The file had been recovered upon a search of Clooney's impounded car, and since the trial was still pending against Frank the file had been kept in evidence.

Her fingers hesitated at lifting the cover. It felt like snooping on a friend behind his back.

Arriving at the hospital with the ambulance and his brother unconscious on the stretcher Toby hurried through the double doors to see Dr. Warren on duty. Olivia must not be back yet… he wondered if she was indeed OK, but the more pressing concern of Ethan dominated his attention for now.

"Self inflicted gunshot wound to the head… Thankfully his hand jerked at the moment the gun went off and he has a nasty gash that will need stitches but shouldn't do any permanent damage." Toby shifted his concentration into thinking more like a paramedic to help quell the swirling emotions threatening to engulf him.

They wheeled Ethan into an exam area to get his head stitched up while Toby went over to the admission desk. Starting to fill out the form he hesitated on listing Ethan's last name as Darnell since that might be tied back to his recent impersonation of a police detective. Toby decided to cloak his brother as much as possible to forestall trouble, and put down Ethan Logan under patient name.

"Hey Gretchen – have you heard from Olivia recently? Isn't she supposed to be on shift?" The question was asked distractedly as Toby kept his eyes trained on Ethan across the way and handed her back the form.

"Olivia took some vacation time. Said she needed to get out of the city for a while. Don't expect her back till next week." The nurse accepted the form and started to input the data into the computer. Toby was a bit hurt that Olivia had not even mentioned leaving or said good bye, but he had more urgent matters to take care of than brooding.

Once the stitches had been completed Ethan was assigned a room so he could be held for observation pending X-ray results to ensure there was not further damage from the gunshot wound. Toby sat down to wait for Ethan to regain consciousness. The blow to the head when the bullet grazed him had knocked him out, but the doctor had confirmed that no permanent damage had been done. Toby was tempted to reach out to see if his brother was dreaming and perhaps find out more about him, but something kept him from doing so.

++ Afraid of what you'll find? ++ The thought came at Toby unexpectantly as Ethan had not opened his eyes or given any outward indication that he was awake.

"Ethan? What the heck were you doing man…" Toby whispered eyes still wide and just beginning to catch a breath.

"Toby… need to talk to you a moment." The woman standing in the doorway motioned for him to come out. Dr. Lancer was from a few floors up - a staff psychologist with the hospital's psych ward.

He took one more look at Ethan who still lay there seemingly unconscious before joining her in the hallway.

"When you came in you said this wound was self inflicted?" She looked over the admitting notes.

"Yeah…" he kept his voice low, but doubted that would keep Ethan from hearing if he wanted to.

"Were you there?" the doctor was watching Toby closely. He nodded. "Tell me what happened."

"We were talking and he became very agitated then before I knew it he pulled a gun and fired. " He deliberately kept the report vague.

"What was the discussion about?"

"Family stuff… he's my brother - well half brother. "

"You don't have any idea what triggered him to try to shoot himself?"

He looked down and away. "No.."

The expression on her face showed that she didn't quite believe his answer, but Dr. Lancer didn't push the issue. "Does he have a history of self destructive behavior?"

"I don't know… we aren't exactly close. Didn't grow up together. " Toby shrugged. ++ They won't be able to keep me here. ++ Ethan had been listening and commented directly to Toby.

"He will need to be evaluated before being released. We'll give him some time to recover and then speak with him directly." She made some quick notes on the chart and then started to walk away.

Toby slipped back into Ethan's room. His brother's eyes were still closed and he had not moved. "Look I know you can hear me… I will be back in a little bit. Hang in there." It was a risk, Toby knew it, but he needed to bring Ray up to speed and get his help.