I am so sorry it took me so long to update... Life got a little bit hectic, not to mention I've rewritten this at least three times. Thank you for all of the support and encouragement! I promise I'll update again soon.
Shelby's life had calmed down considerably in the days following her phone call with Michael Berry. There were no visits from her family, no run-ins at the grocery store, and certainly no more life altering revelations. Nonetheless, Shelby could not help but remain on edge, waiting for the proverbial shoe to drop. She tried to busy herself with projects, but painting her bedroom a deep burgundy had only kept her hands busy, her mind was still churning out question after question.
Did Michael talk to Rachel? How did it go? Was Rachel okay? Should she call again?
And once she had agonized over those questions, a whole new batch would rush through.
Did her father know about Rachel? Did he hate her? Had she been disowned?
The worst part was that there was no way for her to know any of the answers. She supposed that it was her penance for the secrets she had kept all of these years. Her life had now become a waiting game and Shelby had never been a patient person.
Shelby growled with frustration as she tossed her paint roller into the pan, splashing paint onto the drop cloth. She wasn't sure how much longer she could handle this. Indeed, the burgundy paint looked amazing, as she knew it would, but she was running out of menial distractions. She would almost welcome another intrusion by her mother if it meant she could get some peace.
She changed out of her painting clothes and trudged downstairs to the kitchen where she poured herself a generous glass of Merlot. She took a small sip and flinched as the bitter liquid hit her tongue. She had never been much of a wine connoisseur, but it always made her feel more dignified than tequila shooters. She rolled her eyes and took another sip, making her way into the living room. She flicked on the television, anticipating a night of the Food Network and possibly some Survivor, when she heard a light knock at her door.
She set her glass down on her coffee table and trudged to the door, briefly wondering if she had been right about another visit from her mother. She pulled the door open and was shocked by who she found standing in front of her, shivering in the cold.
"Rachel, what… what are you doing here?" Shelby's normally strong voice quavered.
"My dad told me you called. If you didn't care you wouldn't have done that. Clearly you're just as hung up on our reunion as I am." Rachel answered, sounding much older than her sixteen years.
"Of course I care Rachel." Shelby sighed. "Come in sweetheart, it's freezing out there." She opened the door wider and Rachel slipped quietly into her home.
"Would you like something to drink?" She asked awkwardly, unsure of herself.
"Some water, maybe?"
Of course, Shelby thought—she gets thirsty when she's upset.
Shelby nodded and motioned for Rachel to take a seat on the couch as she made her way into the kitchen. She poured a glass of water and tried to catch her bearings before returning.
She walked into the living room to find Rachel looking at the framed pictures placed on her mantle—the subdued girl in front of her was a sharp contrast to the vivacious girl she had seen on stage.
"Where's this?" Rachel asked, holding out a black and white photograph to her.
Shelby smiled lightly and took the photo.
"That was after opening night of this little show I did in New York."
"You look like a hooker." Rachel said bluntly.
"Well good, because I was supposed to." Shelby laughed, putting the picture back on the mantle.
"Oh." Rachel blushed.
"Here you go." Shelby said, handing Rachel her glass of water.
"It looks just like the one you gave me." Rachel said, looking at the glass.
"They were a match-set." Shelby said softly.
Rachel couldn't help the warm feeling that crept over her when she heard Shelby's words. The glasses were something her mother had wanted them to share, even though they had been apart.
Rachel took a sip from the glass and Shelby could see her demeanor change.
"I understand why you wanted to distance yourself from me." Rachel said seriously. "At first I blamed myself for coming on too strong." Rachel held up her hand as Shelby tried to disagree. "But I realize now how many issues you probably have regarding the surrogacy and subsequent contract, so I've elected to give you another chance."
Shelby sat speechless, so Rachel took that as her cue to continue.
"It wont be easy, but I believe with the help of a trained therapist we can work through this."
"Rachel, believe me, I would love to have a relationship with you. I want that more than anything in the world." Shelby admitted. "But, I'm not sure if this is the right way to go about it." She finished.
"Well, we tried your way and where did that get us?"
Shelby looked down at her hands and picked at the nonexistent lint on her jeans.
"We're both obviously miserable. We've both left our respective glee clubs. I've taken to hiding out in the library, and from the looks of your recycling bins you've been consuming entirely too much wine." Rachel's eyes widened as the last bit slipped out—it might have been true but she certainly didn't mean to say it aloud.
Generally Shelby Corcoran would not tolerate be spoken to in that manner by anyone—let alone a fifteen year old girl, but this was different. This was her daughter. And as her daughter's words sunk in and the shell-shocked look on the girl's face grew more and more concerned, Shelby could not help but laugh. Her small chuckles turned into great peals of laughter, tears leaking from her eyes.
Although apprehensive at first, Rachel began to smile and soon joined her mother in full-blown laughter.
They laughed until their sides cramped and their stomachs hurt. They laughed until they no longer remembered what had been so funny.
Mother and daughter laughed until all pretenses had fallen away and they were just there, in the moment, together.
As their laughter died down Shelby smiled warmly at her daughter and opened her arms to her. Rachel fell into the embrace without a second thought and the two sat together on the couch. This was the moment that they had both been hoping for all of those years.
Rachel reluctantly sat up and disentangled herself from her mother's embrace. Shelby sensed what the girl might be thinking and spoke softly.
"This won't make the past few months go away." She acknowledged. "But it's a good start."
"What's next?" Rachel asked hesitantly.
"I think we get to know each other." Shelby replied.
"Okay." Rachel said, moving to get something out of her bag. "I've put together a small biography for you. I mean, I don't know if that's too much. It has pictures…" She trailed off.
"No Rachel, it's wonderful, thank you." Shelby reassured her, taking the report folder.
"It contains most of the pertinent information. I was wondering if I could ask you some questions?"
"Of course."
"Well, in regards to your family tree." Rachel began, pulling out a pink notebook.
"Here, let me help you with that." Shelby said, looking over Rachel's shoulder at the family tree diagram in her notebook, small gold stars by each of their names.
"My mom's name is Christina and my dad's is Earl. I have a sister named Kim, she's a year older than me."
"Do they live in the area?" Rachel asked, scribbling furiously in the notebook.
"My parents live in Urbana and my sister and her family live in Columbus."
"And your extended family?" Rachel asked, pen poised.
"Rachel, you don't have to get this all down tonight. I promise, you'll have plenty of time to learn everything."
"I understand, it's just…this whole side of my family tree has always been blank. I just want to fill it in."
"Okay." Shelby agreed, taking the pen from Rachel and started adding names and branches.
It seemed as though Shelby had a story for each relative she wrote down and she kept Rachel laughing the entire time. The girl noted that once Shelby had stopped being so serious she was actually remarkably funny.
"Do any of them know about me?" Rachel asked, once again taking on a more serious tone.
"My mother knows." Shelby answered lightly.
"She does? I've never really had a grandmother. My Nana Berry passed away when I was really little." She explained.
"She's only known for a little over a week." Shelby admitted.
"You were ashamed of me."
"No, never. Never ashamed of you Rachel. You're the best thing I've ever done. I was ashamed of myself. I should never have let you go."
"Do you think I could meet her sometime?"
"She would love that."
"You have a really big family." Rachel said, changing the subject.
"I know, it gets a little bit crazy."
"I just, I don't want to sound needy, but do you think…" She trailed off. "Do you think I could ever be a part of it?"
"Of course." Shelby said.
"I mean, I'm already a part of a family, with my dads, and it's amazing." Rachel reassured her. "But, I'd kind of like to be a part of yours as well."
"You already are a part of it. You're the most important part of it." Shelby said, taking Rachel's hand in her own.
"Thank you." Rachel said, squeezing her hand.
Shelby's heart broke a little more with her daughter's words. She should not have to thank her own mother for welcoming her into her family. It served as another small reminder of how hurt the girl must have been when she turned her away before.
It was in that moment that Shelby knew she couldn't mess this up, not again. It did not matter if she was ready, there was a young girl looking to her for acceptance and guidance and she would give that to her. It was time to grow up and allow someone past the walls she had built so diligently over the years. It was time to let someone in.