Chapter 1: Ladies' night

'I can literally think of nothing worse than being stuck here, partying, with April.'

'Cristina!' Meredith hissed at her, masking her amusement with outrage. Well, as far as Cristina was concerned she was just being truthful. On a good day April was already a little too much to take and her perkiness would get on anyone's nerves and tonight April's nervous energy was magnified tenfold because she had been made chief resident. Cristina, on the other hand, had not been made chief resident. Nor had she performed a decent cardiothoracic surgery in a while. And she had just been kicked out by her husband. So, Cristina's veneer of cold politeness was very fragile indeed.

'This must have cost her a lot of money and effort,' Meredith whispered, but she was also dismayed at this sudden turn of events. Though, as she watched April flittering around decorating the living room, she was at least thankful that Alex was not here. Sometimes she felt like April couldn't possibly be human. There were three people here who had not been made chief resident, yet April seemed entirely unaware of this. Plus, earlier that night a plane had crashed and there had only been one survivor. This was hardly the night for a party and the atmosphere was downright gloomy. April must possess no social radar at all, Meredith thought.

'So? Now I am not allowed to say this sucks?' Cristina sulked, though she was being drawn irresistibly to the kitchen. There, on the table, stood the bottles April had brought. This was really the only thing that interested her about this stupid party: booze. Of course, bringing alcohol into the house was ridiculous, but it spoke to the adorableness and general irritation that was April that she would think more alcohol was needed.

'We'll just get drunk,' Meredith suggested in a whisper, as she surged forward to turn off the radio April had turned on. Good idea, Cristina thought, except she of course couldn't. Ah, the ironies of life. Meredith seemed to have realised her faux pas immediately and winced.

'No music: Zola is asleep,' she explained. While Meredith explained about Zola – and the subsequent shrieks by April made Cristina want to strangle the redhead – Cristina gravitated towards the kitchen, circled the various bottles and traced their outlines with her finger. There were bottles of beer, vodka, orange liquor, tequila and a scotch and whisky bottle. Also, April had brought limes and lemons. Jackson approached the bottles too, but Cristina batted away his hand. Mine, mine, mine, she wanted to say, but she didn't. The inventory of drinks almost made her like April. Almost. Then she looked at the little umbrellas and party hats and flags and her goodwill vanished again. The girl was clearly insane if she thought they were going to celebrate her new and undeserved position. She turned to say something to this effect, but Jackson glared at her fiercely, so she kept her mouth shut.

April and Lexie insisted on going upstairs to look at Zola, so after what seemed like an endless back and forth Meredith made them promise not to wake her and granted their wish. As they snuck up the stairs Cristina rolled her eyes. Whatever. She was going to start on pretending to get drunk. It was the only way she would possibly survive this night.

'Don't you want to look at the baby?' Jackson asked. Now he batted her hand away, before he took two glasses and poured a generous helping of tequila in both. It looked like he was thinking about making margaritas, at least for her, but when he put down the bottle Cristina picked it up and filled the glass to the rim with tequila. No time for mixing and squeezing lemons and putting salt on the rim and slicing limes. She just wanted to get to the part where she was fake drunk, as quick as possible. As Jackson went into the living room with a pitcher and two bottles, she threw the precious liquid into the sink and filled her glass with water. Nope, you couldn't tell the difference. Then she followed Jackson into the living room and sat down on the couch.

'Why? Because I'm a woman? If you've seen one baby you've pretty much seen them all,' she answered. Unperturbed, Jackson returned to the kitchen. He came back with a knife, salt and limes and proceeded to prepare margaritas. His expertise was suspicious and strangely sexy, so Cristina concluded the fictional alcohol was already clouding her judgement.

'No, just thought you might be interested in your best friend's baby,' Jackson said after an indeterminable pause. You thought? Must be a special day, Cristina wanted to say, but such nastiness was more enjoyable when it was restricted to her inner monologue, so again she said nothing. Also, Jackson might be a dolt at times and he had downgraded from crushing on her to little Grey, but he was essentially harmless. And as much as she wanted to tear into someone right now, she knew that if she waited and let the night and the fake booze do its job she would start to feel mellow and relaxed. So, she decided to wait until that happened. She slowly took a big sip of water.

Deftly, Jackson salted the rim of three more glasses and sliced up a lime. He smiled at Cristina as he put the pitcher in the middle of the table and arranged the glasses around it. For good measure he filled the other glasses. Cristina was completely detached when she internally commented that his smile was pretty hot. Then again which guy at the hospital wasn't hot? Sloan, Shepherd, Karev, Avery, Bailey's hunky nurse, Owen. Owen...

Cristina heaved a huge sigh, which Jackson witnessed. She detested the concerned expression that came over his face, but luckily, before he could say something, the others came down the stairs.

'She is so cute!' April exclaimed. To Cristina's intense horror April sat down next to her. Lexie asked where Derek was, but Meredith subtly deflected the question and started to raise her glass for a toast. Good girl, Cristina thought, until she realised what and who they would be toasting. 'Water,' she mouthed at Meredith when she raised her eyebrow.

'To our new chief resident April,' Meredith eventually said, 'Congratulations.' Cristina felt the urge to applaud her, because it was really a miracle that she had managed to get the words out. Instead she toasted her newfound appreciation for Meredith without a glass of Jackson's delicious margarita. What she wouldn't give for some alcohol right now. Everyone, but Cristina, guzzled their drinks down in record time. Then they all just stared at each other. Perhaps the ridiculous premise for the party was sinking in or perhaps it was because several of the people present simply did not care for some of the other people present or perhaps it was because there was no music. Whatever the reason, everybody seemed to realise simultaneously that the party was particularly lame and it was awkward to watch the realisation dawn in everyone's eyes.

Jackson quickly got up and poured another round of drinks. Cristina noticed he reserved the glasses of Lexie and himself for the last and he put only a little in both. More for Meredith, she concluded and contently sipped her drink in silence. April had started excitedly chattering about how she never expected to make chief resident and even mild tempered Meredith was beginning to regard her in a hostile manner. One thing could be said for April; the rate of her alcohol intake was impressive. Cristina was still sipping her first glass of damn water when April poured herself a third and fourth margarita. In fact, April almost singlehandedly emptied the pitcher of margarita. On the other hand, her speech was slurred and her movements were uncoordinated, so she was not unaffected by the liquor.

'Lightweight,' Cristina mumbled and Meredith nodded at her. We are such experienced tequila whores, the nod seemed to say and for the first time that night Cristina smiled. Jackson was watching April with concern, but when Lexie whispered something in his ear he completely forgot about April. The nauseatingly happy couple expressed their intention to depart, Jackson was saying something about buying a goat, Lexie giggled, and they were gone. April's eyes widened, almost in comical panic, Cristina thought and she made her way to the hall. Suddenly Cristina wondered whether April's excessive drinking might have something to do with feeling the tension in the room. Perhaps she wasn't as oblivious to the moods of others after all. April grabbed her coat and seemed surprisingly steady on her feet.

'Do you have a bike?'

The question seemed directed at Meredith, but she gaped a little at April before answering.

'Yes, it's out back. What are...' she asked, but April triumphantly and determined cut her off.

'I am going to have sex with Robert.'

And she was gone too.

'Who the hell is Robert?' Cristina asked as she got up to grab a tequila bottle from the kitchen. Margarita was nice and all, but she was convinced Meredith found tequila much yummier. If only one of them could get drunk, then she was at least going to help Meredith get really good and drunk.

'Stark from Paediatrics,' Meredith answered. She eagerly got up from the couch and raised her glass. Cristina obligingly filled it with tequila and Meredith sat down. Ah McDouche, Cristina thought and she stifled a giggle. Stark wasn't McDouche; that was unfair. McDouche had been her secret nickname for Derek for so long and it looked like he was now actively campaigning to get it back.

'I feel like we should stop her,' Meredith said and she sounded a bit guilty. However, she made no move to get up.

'That's funny, because I feel like not stopping her will be hilarious. Man, she is crazy, isn't she?' Cristina snarked. They regarded each other. Cristina was beginning to have tender feelings for Zola, provided she would not start crying any time soon. Acting faintly drunk was definitely working, because momentarily her hate for babies outweighed her hate for anything else. And she didn't even hate babies, she just didn't want one. Her tender feelings for Meredith, which she would never admit to having, – then again she would have to be tortured before she would reveal she had any feelings at all – were growing exponentially. Screw alcohol. Who needed it? What would she do without her best friend? Cristina suddenly felt very tired; the night was starting to take its toll.

'I guess it's just us now,' she said and she realised that the way things were she might not be talking just about tonight.