Title: North and South

Fandom: Hetalia

Rating: T (language)

Characters: Beau J. (Confederacy/Confed. Am.) Alfred J. (Union/Union Am.) Kiku H. (Japan) Ludwig (Germany) Feliciano V. (N. Italy/Italy)

Pairings: Mentioned AlfredxKiku, Mentioned BeauxMexico, Mentioned BeauxLudwig

Era: Modern (Anytime that Obama is president.)

Authoress Ramblings: Beau's opinions are just that, Beau's opinions. Inspired by this Lunchables commercial: http:/www(dot)youtube(dot)com(backslash)watch?v=3Th_ocz-R8Y

Beau sighed as he looked over the paperwork that had spawned on his desk. He was willing to bet his best race horses that most of it was actually for Alfred. Everyone got the two mixed up. Physically the only difference between them (other than weight) was their eye color. Beau had even gotten contacts as soon as they became commercially available, eliminating their identical glasses, Beau only wore his when he was in his study and his eyes hurt. He looked up from flipping through the papers (he was right, most of it was Alfred's) and saw his brother enter the room.

"This," Beau gestured to the papers, "Is yours."

Alfred scowled and dropped a slightly smaller pile of papers on Beau's desk.

"You'd think they'd start asking us which one of us is which. It's totally not heroic to be mistaken for you."

"Like I want to be you?"

For a while they'd been distinguishable by Alfred's military haircut, and things actually got done, considering less time was wasted sorting out messes resulting from mistaken identity. Alfred perched on the edge of Beau's desk, and looked at his computer.

"Get off my desk, Yankee bastard, and go do something productive!"

"Hey Al! Nice hair…"

"I'm Beau."

"Yeah, right, sorry."

Beau had dyed his hair dark brown, as dark as he could go without looking weird. Add in a bit of product to tame the annoying cowlick, and he looked nothing like Alfred anymore. As soon as word of what he'd done spread, the confusion stopped, even on days he forgot to tame his hair.

"Great idea, dude! Almost hero worthy!"

"Go away."

It took a busy few months for Beau to realize that the cowlick didn't stand out when his hair was grown out. Beau had decided to leave it at a stylish length, one that still conveyed elegance, but also prevented the annoying cowlick from emerging. It only needed taming when it was cold, and the static built up in it.

The door to his private study opened. Beau didn't look up, assuming it was his butler, until he didn't hear the rattle of the tea tray.

"Hey, Beau…I can't make it to the meeting…I have another meeting…could you go in my place…?"Beau gave his brother a strange look, wondering how he'd gotten into his home study.

"Why should I?"

"Because America needs a representative there!"

Beau stood and walked around the desk, his gaze cold.

"Someone once told me I'm not part of America. That I'm a washed up dream of a fucked up, backwards country, that I should've never come back. I've been civil, but when you come to me, asking for my help, taunting me with the knowledge that I'm just as much a part of America as you are, Union, but only when you want me to be. You call yourself The United States of America, but you're not, not as long as I'm alive."

Alfred glared at him.

"Just go to the goddamned meeting, Confederacy. "

"…America?" Role call was being taken.

"America," Beau drawled, "Won't be here. He had a prior engagement."

"Confederate America. How nice of you to join us."

"Where exactly is Amérique?"

"Presidential Meeting."

To the countries who knew Beau, it explained wonders. Beau had been quiet in his disapproval of Obama, mostly because he didn't want to wreck his political position, but to the nations, it was obvious Beau didn't like him because of his race.

"You fucking bastard." Alfred looked ready to kill his twin, who was conveniently standing behind his boyfriend. Said twin was glaring at said boyfriend.

"You just had to tell him, didn't you?"

"Apologies, Dōmei-san."

"Don't apologize to him, Kiku. I bet you were on that fucking commie's side too, weren't you, you goddamned rebel bastard!"

"Actually no…" Beau hadn't been on Russia's side, he'd been too busy with Mexico…or Ludwig…he couldn't really remember…either way, it had involved damn good liquor and even better sex.

Alfred was currently held at bay by the Japanese man placed between them. He'd never meant for Alfred to find out that he'd slipped Kiku information on how to best attack the US in World War II. Beau had done it as a wake up call to Alfred.

"What did I say to you then, when you asked my advice?"

Alfred paused in his angry ranting, and Kiku looked intrigued.

"That for a superpower built on bloodshed I was being an idiot."

"Exactly…and you're still an idiot."

"AM NOT!"

Beau decided not to argue.

"Why do you not get along with Am-Unione, Confederazione? Your civil war is over."Feliciano had altered his words at a sharp glare from Ludwig.

"Because he's a Yankee bastard."

The truth was that Beau was part of Alfred before the war, he'd been brought into existence from Alfred's subconscious. He was meant to be Alfred's opposite. It was ridiculously complicated, and made his head hurt just thinking about it. There was no way they could get along, more than a rare chance when the same person pissed both of them off. It didn't help that Beau blamed Alfred for the loss of his family. Beau would never forget that, nor would he ever forgive him.

They were two sides of the same coin, light and dark, hot and cold, day and night, Union and Confederate…North and South.

Translations:

Amérique-America (French)

Dōmei- Confederacy (Japanese)

Unione- Union (Italian)

Confederazione- Confederacy (Italian)