In the carriage to Twelve Oaks, Scarlett sat opposite to her two sisters, who were brightly packed in a conversation. She sat alone, thinking of the day. It had been so long ago, it seemed like she couldn't possibly get over it, do anything about it. But of course, she would have to, and it would happen. She would need to pull up something, that made her seem like her old self. A southern belle. She no longer knew the meaning of those words. She would be like Ella. Kind, sweet, dear, and beautiful of course. But also, finding a way to charm men.
One conflict remained in her mind, with both Frank, Charles, and Ashley. Once in a while, she would look to her younger sister, back to Careen. Both deserved happiness. But Scarlett knew, that Suellen could be only happier, with Will. She had seen them married. Perhaps in the beginning, they had not married in love. But in the end, it was obvious that they cared for each other. And their four children, that was never something to forget.
She knew better than anything, that she would need Frank's money to bring back Tara, and Brent and Stuart's love to bring onto Rhett's attention. Both would be needed. But perhaps, she could point Brent in Careen's way, and it would work, in some sort of way. And Frank, would make Rhett want her more, love her wasn't sure she still wanted a child from him, but if she did, she would certainly be a better mother.
Then there was Ashley. That was her main, perhaps, fall in the last life. Her love for Ashley. She almost hated Ashley now, although she knew it was all her fault, from the first time, to the last. Perhaps, she could still pretend to be in love with him here, get Rhett to hear, and then act every bit as spirited as normal. And that would clear up things. But then, she would never touch Ashley again. No way, to make Rhett, perhaps more jealous.
Then there was Charles. Another one to think about it. India Wilkes. It was the first time, in years, that Scarlett had thought of her. But perhaps, she also deserved happiness. She married two years after Scarlett fell, to an old sick man, had one sick little boy, before he died. The young boy, was in no good health. India Wilkes would hate her, she knew, but she couldn't stop it. Certainly, it would come to good. But Wade.
She could suddenly see, as if in midair, his eyes, flittering away, and him, storming past her. That smile, fading. He despised her, for being a bad mother. Ella loved her mother, it was true, but she never could bring herself to say so. She was also very ashamed of her, to be crazy, and not caring, while her aunt was the best thing she ever had. Yet, either way, children, seemed now important now, a gift, bestowed by God, or it seemed like it was.
"Katie Scarlett!" shouted Gerald from up ahead.
"Yes Pa?" she asked, perking up.
He was then silent, so Scarlett fell back again. Perhaps simply seeing, if she was truly there. She was, but perhaps, not in a way, that he would understand. She looked up to the sky, which was completely cloudless, and she saw the sign for Twelve Oaks. She could not remember the place, so it's largeness startled her, and amazed her. So Ashley would've lived here, all throughout the war. Indeed. And Melly too, if it hadn't been destroyed by the Yankees. Even out of all the mist, she still hated them, more than anything she could possibly think of. The Yankees, had tried to take away her precious Tara, the only thing she loved, after it was clear, that Rhett, would and could no longer care for her.
"Good day" greeted John Wilkes from the start, and the girls stepped down.
Brent and Stuart, immediately came to Scarlett's side.
"Why you too are so sweet" she suddenly chided "Brent, why don't you help Careen?" she asked him sweetly.
Careen looked at her, with wide eyes, but very thankful ones. Indeed, it would possibly mean her happiness. She was only thirteen, but would perhaps be older, soon enough. Every girl, would need to marry eventually.
"You look mighty fine Scarlett" Stuart complemented, looking up and down your dress "I hope you remember your promises"
"Indeed I do" she responded, smiling, and continued on walking.
"Quite enriched isn't it?" he asked from next to her "Wouldn't it be nice, owning such a place?"
"I like Tara better" she told him, perhaps a bit sharply.
"You do" he responded.
She greeted at least three guests, when she saw Rhett Butler, looking at her from the staircase. Anxiety filled her. She must be in control. She would have to play it well. She then saw Charles Hamilton, but looked away. She would let him come to her, or Rhett would think she was in love with him. What would she do? She smiled gracefully and bid hello, to almost every young man and woman out there. She turned around, to India Wilkes.
"Why hello" she said.
"Good morning Scarlett" she answered, with a nod of her head.
"What a lovely dress" she told her, eying it, but not in the view, of another woman, but in the view of a mother.
Each thing, seemed to big, perhaps to low at points, or so it seemed to Scarlett. She had always been looking at Ella this way, and perhaps Suellen's oldest, all the time. It was never an easy job to take, but it nevertheless did happen.
"Thank you" she responded politely.
For a few moments, they spoke, as if they were old friends, but Scarlett tried to look like her old self when she talked, and it eventually emerged. Word after word of kindness, never something negative. She was never fond of India completely, more pitiful, but she found her, to be quite fine now, smiling from time to time. Suddenly, when Charles Hamilton was behind her, she could no longer think of her. She smiled at India.
"Excuse me for a moment dear" she told her.
India slowly walked off, and Scarlett knew, that it could no longer last, this kindness. She would now steal Charles Hamilton from Honey Wilkes. But Honey was as good as happy, with her husband from Mississippi, so Scarlett figured it would come to good, in all types of the word.
"Why Charles Hamilton" she then placed her hands in his "How darling you look!"
"W-why thank you, urm, Miss O'Hara" he responded.
"Well, I'm sure you are mean enough, to come down here just to break my heart" she told him.
It was not exactly what she had said once, but she valued it all the same.
"Oh never Miss O'Hara" he told, through a smile "There is something, that I would like to ask you"
"Well now, I have more people to greet, but don't go running off, I expect you to eat barbecue with me" she told him, as she seemingly fluttered away.
She turned her eyes to Rhett Butler, who was still looking at her, as she walked along the floors of Twelve Oaks.
"I wouldn't be surprised" she muttered "If the whole Yankee army turned up!"
She then saw Cathleen, and approached her.
"Why hello Scarlett" she greeted, with a small smile "Let's go up, shall we?"
They walked up to the bedroom, while Scarlett tried to remember Cathleen. The Calvert girl. Who married a Yankee. The only woman, at this time, who actually liked Scarlett, besides Melanie. Scarlett suddenly felt a desire to see her again, to be able, to call her alive, to see her alive, just like Rhett, and perhaps Bonnie. She could no longer remember much about Rhett, except that he loved her once, and that she was desperately in love with him.
"Cathleen?" she asked.
"Yes?"
"Who is that man downstairs?"
"Which one dear?"
"That Butler man"
Cathleen turned to her in surprise, and excitedly lowered her voice to a whisper.
"My dear girl, don't you know? You must be awfully blind to these things. I wouldn't believe it myself, if I didn't see it. Mr. Wilkes, feeling like having him here, but I suppose, he was with Mr. Kennedy in Jonesboro, buying something, like cotton. But of course, he decided to bring him here along with him. He just couldn't go off, and leave him"
Scarlett sat up. Yes, she could remember, perhaps in some way.
"Well, what is the matter with him?" asked Scarlett, sure this would be good.
"He isn't received!" Cathleen cried
"Oh no!" Scarlett exclaimed.
"No"
"What did he do?" she asked, with true confidence.
"Well dear, he has the most terrible reputation, by far. His name is Rhett Butler, from Charleston and is folks are some of the nicest people there, but they won't even speak to him! Caro Rhett told me about him last summer. He isn't any real relative to her family, but everyone knows about him! He was expelled from Westpoint, the reason, I don't know, but still! Just imagine that! And for things too bad for Caro to know. And then, there was that girl he didn't marry"
"Oh tell me" Scarlett begged.
"My, you really don't anything, Caro told me about it, every single bit. But of course, her mother would die, if she thought she knew, even thought Scarlett! Well, he went out one afternoon with a girl, on a buggy. I never did know who she was, or anything, but I do have suspicions. Well, she mustn't have been very nice, or she wouldn't have gone out with him late in the afternoon without a chaperon. And, my dear they stayed out nearly all night, walked home finally, saying that the horse had run away, and shamed the buggy and gotten lost in the woods. I And guess what.
"I'm not a good guesser, tell me!"
"He refused to marry her the next day!"
"Oh"
"He said, he hadn't-er-done anything to her, in any way really. And he didn't see why he had to do it. And the brother called him out, and he said he'd rather be shot, than marry a stupid fool. And so they fought a duel, and Mr. Butler shot the girl's brother, and he died, and Mr. Butler had to leave Charleston and now nobody receives him"
"My" Scarlett muttered "What a story dear"
When the barbecue came around, it seemed to Scarlett, that every girl besides her, had one partner around her. She had at least two sides of men, getting stuff for her, admiring her, and laughing at her jokes, teases, and flirts. It was as if her old self emerged, from the newer, yet plainer one. She smiled, laughed, and of course teased. That selfishness, threatened to rise over her new kindness. She tried to be kind, for it was the best she could do, but time to time, she could see Rhett Butler watching her, although she took great care, to make sure, that he didn't see her, here.
Time passed by, and she nibbled slowly on foods, and looked out, for the slightest look of Melanie, wanting her "sister" more than anything. Just another reason to marry Charles Hamilton, was her sisterhood to Melanie, otherwise it would be pointless.
Ashely made no appearance, until one time, when he came up, with a small girl, hanging onto his shoulder. It took Scarlett, only a short moment of time, to realize, that it was indeed Melanie Hamilton, young again.
Melanie might have seen plain to her once, but now, she only looked beautiful to Scarlett. Her heart-shaped face, her curly dark hair. Every bit of her, seemed just wonderful to Scarlett. Her tiny body, encased in her large dress, perhaps too large for her. What a kind appearance it was. Scarlett attempted to smile, but instead, looked away, wanting to act as jealous. She started eating slowly, a bit convincingly that she was unhappy, but she tried to joke, for the necessary affect on the men. It was a success so far, she just needed to go on, being the same way.
"Why hello Scarlett" she greeted, coming up.
Scarlett smiled, but not too largely, only enough to please Melanie and Ashley, and tell others, that she was mighty jealous.
"Why hello Melanie" she said, looking up at her "You look fine today"
"Thank you Scarlett" she smiled "I've always admired your spirit, thank you"
Ashely greeted her, and then led her away. The smile faded from Scarlett's lips, but only for a show. Then, Stu offered her a plate. Brent was talking to both Careen, and another girl somewhere off the right, which was certainly good. Scarlett acted more vivacious, at any time, where it seemed she was getting more dull, but of course, she wasn't truly, and fully dull. Most of the men, traded that in, for her beauty, and her normal smile and attitude. But of course, she kept it steady.
It felt good to be young again. With Cade at her side. She remembered seeing him, dying in his bed. Sick and wounded from the war. She smiled at him, and told him, that he was handsome. These men were going off to fight soon, she would show them, at least some mercy. Brent came over, with his two girls, only to tease her a little bit, then joined them at the table. Stuart laughed with her, Charles stayed with her, and Honey seemed ready to cry.
Scarlett truly did feel bad for her, for she was not pretty, but more like a rabbit. She would've done quite a lot, to get Charles to notice her, if her heart wasn't planted on him either. Poor Charles, Scarlett knew his fate, but could not bring herself to say. She was truly selfish, but she had also known the pain, from many awful days. This should've at least counted for something, in some way.
The Fontaine boys were there too, laughing along with them. She did like them too, as well. After all, they were very kind. But she watched Ashley, looking up at Melanie, playing with the end of her sash, and smiling up. How nice they looked together again! She had seen Ashely, and he had gone, quite as her Pa had gone, after her mother had died, except he could hold on, barely. How could he live without her? How could Scarlett live without her? Without anyone? It was proved, after they left, that she could not go on without them, but now, she had a chance, she could easily save them, so ever easily.
The party seemed to go out, when the gentlemen settled in, to talk. She sat down, next to no one, listening to them, talk of battle, and of honor, and glory. When Rhett spoke up, her heart immediately dropped. How could she do this? Have another chance, when none of the others did! The Tarleton boys! She had so long ago forgotten them. The Fontaines! The Meade boys! Oh it was certainly horrid, to think that they would all soon be dead. They might as well, have died long ago, then now.
She listened with admiration, remembering each of the terrifying figures of the war. She so desperately wanted to go up. Shout to them, that it was no use, that no matter what they did, they would die, be shot, be hungry, filled with lice. Dead, or as good as it. But of course, she was a lady, and could not. And that, would diminish any love Rhett felt for her now, and she was not entirely sure. Charles Hamilton approached her, quicker than a bee.
"M-miss Scarlett?" he asked, leaning in her face "May I sit?"
"Why of course" she answered, scooting over a little bit.
He gently sat down, with a frightful look.
"My, you might've as well come out of war" she told him.
He shook his head, and smiled.
"Why, the war hasn't yet started, but there will be better things to come. And I-I've already decided, that I would fight"
She nodded, and seemed to only half-listen which was true.
"I'm, well, going to go with Mr. Wade Hampton, with troops, down in South Carolina, I suppose" he told her.
"Oh" she responded.
"If I went-would-would you be sorry, Miss O'Hara?" he asked, looking at her, with steady eyes.
"I should-cry. Cry every night into my pillow" Scarlett muttered.
"Would you pray for me?"
Pray for him? There was no use, but there was no use, in saying so either.
"Three rosaries a night" she told him.
"I love you Miss O'Hara" he suddenly stuttered.
She turned towards him, away from Melanie and Ashley.
"Why" she began, but he could not hold himself.
"Yes! I love you. You are the most-the most-beautiful girl I've ever known and sweetest, and the dearest, and I love you, with everything I have. I perhaps should not hope" he turned away "That you love me too, especially me, but Miss O'Hara, if you can give me any encouragement, any at all, I will do anything in the world to make you love me. I would-" he only stopped for a moment, to gather himself together "I want to marry you"
She took no thought into this. Surely, it would come to good. She would be a widow, Rhett would meet her, and help her out of it. It would be much easier this way.
"My" she muttered, pretending to be abashed "Mr. Hamilton, I am not unaware of the honor you have bestowed on me, in wanting to marry me, but, why, this is so sudden, I am at a loss for words" her lips then turned white.
"I would wait, as long as you wish! I wouldn't want you, unless you were sure, you wanted it too. Please, Miss O'Hara, may I have the right to hope?"
"Why, I suppose so" she then managed a weak smile, which seemed to pass easily by him.
Suddenly, the conversation seemed to bring in both of them, she watched, as they easily talked, very quietly, but very strongly as well. Charles, then pulled into the conversation, left her sitting there, quite uneasily, but no less different to her. While he was next to her, he also talked with them, as she pretended to think over the situation, while in fact, she was thinking of Rhett. Oh Rhett. She now could love him all her life, have him all her life, what was there to waste?
Very awful, I'm sorry, but I'm not the happiest person on the living Earth right now. I haven't updated, in literally forever, and I'm very, very sorry. Anyway, please forgive me, and I'll try to continue, but of course, everyone knows it's not that easy, especially here. I thought this dragged on quite a bit, and maybe sooner or later, it'll come to something good, so don't worry.