HEAVY LANGUAGE, SEX AND DRUGS IN THIS STORY, IF THIS OFFENDS, PLEASE LEAVE.
I looked in the mirror and saw her, she was staring right at me. The problem was, I couldn't get away from her, because her is a part of me. I don't want her anymore, at first she made me brave, and helped me face my fears, but now she was killing me slowly, slowly I was becoming different that what I once was.
Looking in the mirror I touched my lips, her lips as I looked deep into our eyes. We were a whole and we were forced together. Seeing her a part of me, me a part of her. I guess I would slightly be considered insane by more than one person. Even myself, I was considered insane. I wasn't me anymore, well I was... But I wasn't exactly. I looked like me, I sounded like me, and now I needed help. I couldn't just find it just anywhere though.
As she put the blood red lip stick around her lips slowly, never actually breaking contact with her, or myself in the mirror. It was weird really to consider myself as two instead just one. I wasn't a weird conjoined twin or anything, I just an extra personality, an alter ego or some shit. She took over for me so much now, it wasn't natural anymore. Then again, I didn't think it was natural at all.
Looking into the full length bathroom mirror, I could see the bright red lip stick the best, and my dark brown eyes outlined in black eyeliner. My hair was I guess could be considered a rats nest. It was teased and sticking out almost everywhere. I had my red extensions in my long brown hair and they looked wonderful in contrast. My hair was a hot mess and she loved it. I wasn't wearing much yet, then again I never wore much. I wore only a little red pair of lacy boy shorts and a strapless red lacy bra. My finger tip traced the small black heart I had on my left hip, a tattoo that she thought would be a good idea to get. I actually kind of liked it, it wasn't really ugly or anything, but a few more inches towards my back and I would have a tramp stamp. I slowly pulled the black fishnets up my thighs slowly, watching the material slowly cover my body, well her legs at least.
I walked into my bed room and walked over to my closet. I had a hidden part of my closet for her, all the way in the back where no one would find it. I moved past all the argyle sweaters and blouses until I found the good stuff. Ripped tank tops, see through mesh shirts and torn skirts and shorts. She settled on a small jean skirt that barely covered my ass and a dark black tank top that was ripped across the middle, showing off my stomach and almost my breasts. I felt the need inside to tug down the left side of my skirt and panties so everyone could see my tattoo.
I looked under my bed and pulled out a pair of red fuck me pumps and hooked the straps together, resting them on my shoulders. I grabbed my cell phone, a wad of money from my wallet and about four condoms, slipping everything into my bra before opening my window. Both my parents, Charlie and Renee were asleep and if they woke up and decided to check on me, there was a pile of blankets laying under my comforter on my bed.
Slowly I climbed out my window I had so masterfully learned how to do after the past few months of the other half of me coming out. I had come to call her Bella. Bella was some what, ok more than somewhat of a whore. She did drugs, and cussed and had lots and lots of sex. I was Isabella before she came along. When it was just me, my life was boring and had no fun. I was always present in Bella's mind as she was in mine. I had some research in this and actually there were people who didn't know that they had another personality in them, that their personality just took control and went wild while the original body never actually remembered anything. Bella however remembered everything I did, and I remembered everything she did. I had stopped feeling dirty and disgusted a long time ago and had just learned to go with it.
Climbing down the side of my house skillfully, I slid on my heels, adjusted my boobs, pressing them up higher and making sure they were able to be seen even though they are so small. As I walked towards the corner, I let Bella take full control of my mind. She was the one in control now, and I was just along for the ride.
God I needed a drink, I need a hit, and I needed a smoke. She hardly let me out anymore it seemed like, the little bitch. She needed to loosen up that Isabella. She was to much of a goodie-two-shoes. If she would just remove the stick from up her ass, she would have so much more fun.
The only thing that could be heard was my heels clicking against the pavement as I walked farther and father from Isabella's home. She liked to think of us as one, I liked to separate myself completely from her. She was like the Virgin Mary, always doing whats good and never whats wrong. Then again I guess that's why I came into the picture, the girl was in need of some serious fun. ASAP. And I was the one to get it for her.
Finally after walking for what seemed like forever, each click of my heels making me think that I needed a drink, I needed to get fucked up and I needed it all now, my ride showed. Mike Newton. He was always at my heels. Most people thought that Isabella was an innocent girl that lived a double life, and they were right, but they didn't know she had two minds, and if they could would just be two separate people. Mike stayed away from Isabella during the day, but was always around when I needed a good fuck or a good joint or something to get my mind off of everything Isabella.
"Get in babe." Mike called as he stopped the car next to the curb.
"Don't call me babe, you know that." I said shortly, climbing into his old beat up car and reaching into the back seat. I could always find a beer or a bottle of vodka in the back seat. Tonight, it was Grey Goose and it was time for me to lose everything I had.
Taking a long swig from the bottle, Mike starting driving to Lauren Mallory's house, she was holding a wild ass party I heard and I wanted in. I needed in, and I needed a way to actually let go and have fun. Isabella kept me hidden away so often I never came out to play, and I was itching to be bad.
You could hear the music blaring loudly about a mile down the drive. The party was going to be in a farm house just outside of town, and no one would be able to find out what was going on unless they looked for it. I drank almost half the bottle of Grey Goose before resting my hand on Mike's thigh as he drove up the mile it took for us to get to the party.
He was already hard before he parked and I knew he knew I was going to fuck him tonight, him and possibly others. I was ready to let go.
"Remember the deal we have. You drive, I fuck you hard. But you can't drink and you have to make sure I make it to my room." I told Mike sternly. I was the one who got to get shit faced, I wasn't an idiot. I liked living, even if I was alive in the same body as another girl. And a boring ass girl at that.
"I know I know, lets go." Mike said with a smirk and climbed out of his car.
I followed and almost ran inside. Heading straight to the kitchen, I could see all the different alcoholic beverages and I pored myself about three shots before finally feeling the buzz from the Grey Goose and whatever the hell I had just pored myself. I could feel Mike's eyes on me the entire time and he expertly knew when I was DTF.
His arm wrapped its way around my waist and he lead me upstairs. I was a bit wobbly, but I held my liquor well.
Mike found us a spare, empty room and I could hear moans coming from the other rooms and they only made me wetter in my pussy. I shouldn't have worn panties, it would have been easier and faster to fuck if I did.
I pushed Mike onto the bed as I turned my back to him, taking all the contents of my bra and laying them on the bedside table before turning back to Mike. I could see his cock pressing hard against his jeans and I decided to help him out there. I climbed onto the bed and slowly pulled his jeans down, and his dick shot up slightly as it had been freed slightly, making a rather large tent out of Mike's boxers.
Pulling his boxers down more I smirked up at Mike, who had taken off his own shirt while my attention was preoccupied. He wasn't huge, but he wasn't small either. Mike was I guess an ok size sometimes I wished he was bigger, but we had a thing going and I could trust Mike, he wasn't a sleaze. He was actually a virgin when I met him, and he told me he had never fucked another girl and I always believed him. Plus Mike knew I was a huge bitch and was not to be messed with. I was practically always fucking him whenever Isabella let me out and I knew that I could always fulfill Mike's needs.
As much as I wanted to suck his cock, I was too wet, and I was to ready to actually get pleasure for myself. So I slowly stood up on the bed in my heels, and slowly swayed my hips in time to the loud bass that was shaking the whole house. Taking off my tank top slowly, letting Mike get a full view of me and taking off my bra just as slow. Soon I was in only my fishnets and heels. I had a knack for being able to take my panties off gracefully no matter what I wore.
Slowly I lowered myself on to Mike's cock I let out a low moan. I knew I was going to start us off, but he was going to be slamming the shit out of me in only minutes. I pumped myself slowly on his cock, rocking my hips back and forth as I steadied myself on his hips.
The sex felt good, and I was able to forget that I was two people in one body. That I was just me, Bella. That's all I was. And I loved it that way.
There was no real foreplay, just rough, raw fucking.
About a half hour later I was laying in bed with Mike, taking long drags of my cigarette. Mike was asleep, evident to his snoring. God I hated this part of fucking, Mike always fell asleep afterward, and it was like he was some kind of old man. But, here I was laying there drag smoking and wishing I had something more than just a smoke. More like a joint, or some meds. I bet there is some down stairs.
I climbed out of bed and pulled on my clothes quickly, and slipped on my heels. I ditched Mike and would come for him after I was ready to go home. He would sleep the whole night, the guy couldn't fuck without falling asleep for at least three hours afterwards. He had always been that way, I told him to get it looked at, because it wasn't normal.
Walking down stairs, the party was still in full swing, and I knew just who would give me what I wanted. Eric Yorkie was the one who gave everyone what they needed for their fix, and I was always willing to comply. I was known as one of those girls who would do anything for a fix. Once I got my own fix I was set and happy to do whatever to whoever had gotten me what I needed. It was only fair right? You scratch my back I scratch yours correct?
"Eric? Hey Eric? I need a fix." I said as I stomped up to him.
Eric's greasy black hair was over his eyes as he flipped his head up to look at me. His skin was just as greasy and was covered in zits. His green eyes were glazed over and I could tell he was stoned already. Whatever he was on, I wanted my fix and I needed it now.
"Yeah, what do you want Bells?" Eric said in his slow stoner voice.
"Whatever you had, I want some." I said with a grin, climbing into his lap. I blew cool air into his ear slowly and I felt his cock twitch under me. I had Eric eating out of the palm of my hand.
Eric nodded and reached into his bag, pulling out a clean syringe and small vile holding a light pinkish red liquid. I had stopped asking what I was taking, and just took it for my high. As I stuck out my arm I didn't even flinch when I saw the needle penetrate my pale skin. I didn't have much color anyway and the drugs and everything only took away what little color I had. As the smooth, yet thin drug left the syringe and entered my veins, I let out a low hiss. It burned slightly, but I could feel myself slipping away and I was quickly on another planet it seemed like.
The high was amazing.
I
w a s
s l i p p i n g
a w a y
q u i c k l y
a n d
I
n e v e r
w a n t e d
d
o
w
n
If I was ever let
d
o
w
n
Then who know what would happen.
I had never been so high and
I
Loved
Loved
Loved
Loved
The
feeling of being
high on a cloud.
Floating away slowly
S
L
O
W
L
Y
I
could
feel the
world going away
and there were no more
problems for me. no more confusion
as to who I really was. because I was me
bella. who was isabella? she didnt exist and bella
was the only one who was alive. only me and only i was
a part of my family.
MY PARENTS WERE VERY HIGH UP IN THEIR BUSINESSES AND expected ME TO BE PERFECT AT WHATEVER I DID if I ONLY JUST DIDNT GET high the maybe THEY WOULD CARE MORE FOR ME. THEY DIDNT REALLY EVEN KNOW.
they just KNEW that i was acting out a LITTLE
I looked over at Eric who was laughing at whatever Emily had said, and I just fell off his lap. I could feel my butt bruising and that only made me laugh more. I could see everyone around me laughing with me, and I thought it was one of the funniest things I had seen in a long time. People laughing was contagious.
I didn't know how much later, all I knew was that it was 4:30 am and I was back in my bed. My entire arm hurt and I knew why. Bella had made her appearance last night and I guessed that Eric had gotten her high. I didn't know what he gave her, but I guessed it was worth it for her to have her fun.
I hated Bella and what she was doing to me, but I had to get used to her, or get some help and I knew that the latter wasn't a good option. My parents were public figures and their daughter going insane wasn't going to look good for them.
Rolling over in bed, I wasn't sure what I should do. I couldn't take a shower like I wanted, it was still to early. I guessed I should start with changing into something I could wear to bed.
I pulled off the torn tank top and the rest of my outfit from earlier, tossing it deep into my closet. No one ever looked there, ever. And it was wear I hid everything Bella.
Pulling on a pair of boy shorts and a tank top, I curled back into my bed. Bella was coming out more and more and it was starting to scare me. Sometimes I would go a whole weekend being Bella. She would sometimes even peek out during a school week. I knew what she was doing but it was like being stuck in the back of a police car or something. You could see everything going on around you, but you couldn't do anything. That was how I always felt around Bella. I was trapped in a cage. I could understand whatever she was planning, or thinking. I could feel her high and I could feel how she loved the feeling.
Maybe if I was able to get some help without anyone knowing, then I could at least control her. I was always afraid that one day, I would just become Bella, instead of Isabella. She had only come to because I needed a way to let loose. All my friends said I did, so I guess Bella was going to be around for a while. I hoped not. Maybe I could get her to go away if I just ignored her.
There was a quiet knock on my door and I looked up to see my little sister Ciarra. She was the only one who knew about Bella and how she was taking over slowly. She was the only one I could trust and the only one who would keep my secrets.
"Hi.." She whispered before walking into my room.
I scooted over in bed and let Ciarra lay next to me.
"Bella come out again tonight?" She whispered, laying next to me.
I could only nod in response. I was so upset that I didn't even really want to speak.
"I can smell the beer and cigarette smoke...Shes coming out more now..."
"I know, what if she just stays around forever and I disappear?" I whispered fearfully. I didn't want to a bad girl, I had always been good and I didn't want to be a druggie... I was perfectly clean when I was me, Isabella, but Bella always needed her drugs. Whatever she could get her hands on was what she did and she would do anything for it.
"I'll still be there if you do disappear..." Ciarra whispered softly to me.
"After her words, we didn't speak again that night. Ciarra actually fell back asleep, but I laid in bed, waiting until six a.m. to take a shower. Since it was Saturday, my parents would sleep in only slightly. Everyone was always early risers in this house. So far the only good thing about having Bella was other than come back as me being clean and not a drug addict or hung over, I was never tired. I didn't sleep much because of her anymore, and it wasn't really that I just couldn't sleep, I just wasn't tired anymore.
Creeping away into the bathroom, leaving Ciarra snoring lightly in my bed.
Grabbing a towel from our linen cupboard and creeped into the bathroom I shared with my sister.
As I showered slowly, making sure to get the party smell off of me, I saw a bruise on my arm from when Bella got high and had Eric shoot her up. I knew he couldn't be trusted with a needle, but I couldn't interfere, I was trapped in my own mind set and couldn't break free.
The showered helped relax me, and I watched the steam swirl around me as I opened the shower curtain. Rubbing a circle in the mirror so I could see myself, I could only see Bella creeping out. It was scary and creepy and slightly intriguing all at the same time.
"Hey Miss Priss."
"The fuck?" I whispered, looking around. Looking in the mirror I saw myself, I saw Bella smirking back at me.
"I had fun last night, did you?"
"Go away..."
"Your stuck with me honey... and we're going to have a good time you and me. We are a team now. Like twins if you think about it."
"I don't want you here, go away!"
"Why? I like it here, mostly.. You think that if I had the chance I would totally leave? Because I would. I want my own body."
"Then go back to where you came from."
"But I am where I came from honey, remember? You made me."
"Then I can make you leave."
"No you can't I'm here to stay forever now."
"Please leave..."
There was a knock on the bathroom door that made Bella go back to the back of my mind as I wrapped the towel tighter around my body. I peaked out of the bathroom door and saw a very confused mother standing before me. Renee was someone that immature, yet mature at the same time. She saw everything and knew if we were lying or not. Well most of the time. Since Bella had come, I was even more of a better liar. I could get away with pretty much whatever now.
"Isabella? What were you doing?" Renee asked slightly shocked.
"Oh, um. There's a school play, and that's part of the open monologue."
Renee looked at me for a moment, thinking over my words and smiled wide.
"I'm glad your branching out dear. I hope you get the part honey. Breakfast will be ready in twenty minutes."
I nodded and walked back to my room in a towel.
"Pleas go away..." I thought as I walked back to my room.
Ciarra had already left to go get ready for the day I guessed, or to her own bed. I looked at the clock and I saw that I had stayed in the shower for almost an hour, which surprised me, I never took showers that lasted more than a half hour.
Walking over to my closet I pulled out a grey, white, lightly blue and dark green argyle sweater vest and a white blouse to go under it. A short, but not too short khaki skirt completed the outfit, but not the over all look. Pulling on my white lace bra and pantie set (yes, I may dress like a catholic school girl, but I was still sexy underneath) and pulling on my clothes, I clasped a strand of pears around my neck and a silver chain bracelet around my left wrist. White knee socks and my plain grey ballet flats finished the look and I smiled softly at myself in the mirror. This was who I was used to, not Bella. Last night was what she wore, now I was in my element, I was me.
Prancing lightly downstairs, I passed Ciarra on the last stair and smiled at her. She smiled back and I could tell she was happy to see me, and not Bella. She had told me before that Bella scared her, that Bella looked like me, but was dangerous. Bella really was my evil twin.
I could smell toast, eggs, bacon and pancakes cooking as I walked into the kitchen to see my mother and father there. Father was reading the paper and my mother was cooking.
My father worked as head of security for our cities Mayor. It was a very good job for him, considering he was very protective of all of us Swan woman, my mother, Ciarra and I. My mother was an executive banker, and was very high in the ranks of the First National Forks Bank.
Since both my parents have good jobs, almost everyone in society knows me and my family. That's one reason why having Bella is so dangerous, she can crumbled my family instantly with just one picture of her doing drugs, of having sex. Because she, is me.
"Good morning." I said with a sigh as I walked more into the kitchen, placing a kiss on my mothers cheek then one on the top of my fathers head.
"Morning Isabella," my father said gruffly as I kissed the top of his head. Charlie never showed much affection, but us woman of the family showed it to him. I guess it made him uncomfortable or nervous. "Sleep well?"
"Mhm..." I said non-commenting. I had only slept a few hours, if that and I wasn't tired, by my body could feel Bella's wild partying from last night. I was slightly sore, and there was a bruise on the inside of my arm that I had hidden with foundation.
Ciarra walked downstairs dressed in a white sundress with a light blue belt around her waist. She wore a pair of of white ballet flats that had little dark blue bows on the toes. She looked cute, and everyone often said that she was a smaller version of me. Ciarra had long brown hair like mine, but in a lighter color. Hers was more of a chestnut than my mahogany. Ciarra's hair was also much longer than mine. Mine went just slightly longer than my shoulders, her hair went all the way down her back, almost touching her butt. Her eyes were blue than my chocolate brown, but we had the same build and shape. Ciarra really was a smaller me.
"Morning." She said softly and took the seat next to mine. Ciarra yawned softly and glanced at me nervously. I could tell she was afraid that Bella would come out around 'family time'. She never did though. Bella seemed to avoid my parents, and for that I was thankful. "What are we having for breakfast?"
"Pancakes, eggs, bacon and toast." My mom said proudly as she started placing plates on the table.
Breakfast was a quiet affair and I was really ready to just go back up to my room, or to my best friend's house, Jacob. He had been my best friend since I was about ten years old, and I knew everything about him. Yet he didn't know about Bella, I was to ashamed. I was surprised that he hadn't seen her yet. Jacob was a popular guy both on the reservation and in Forks.
"I'm going to go see Jake." I announced softly after excusing myself from the table.
I was ready to let go as much as I let go. Bella let go completely. When I let go, I really just talk more, and become more comfortable with myself. Jake helped me feel that way, and I needed to talk to him. I was thinking about telling him about Bella.
After putting away my breakfast dishes I started to pull out my cell phone to call Jake when I looked outside and saw someone standing on the side walk. As I walked over to window I saw that it was Edward Cullen, he was a stoner and I knew that he was at the party last night. But I didn't remember interacting with him at all last night.
Making sure that my parents weren't looking at me and I snuck out the front door. Edward was standing by an old silver Honda and his hands were in his pockets of a pair of old beat up jeans.
"We need to talk." He said softly.
So? Should I keep going? Or should I just stop. Once I get 5 reviews or 50 views. This story was inspired by 'Youth in Revolt'
Well until my next update, adios amigos/amigas.3
Lots of Love,
CullenWannaBe00