AN: A thing I've noticed is that I forget that Pikachu is supposed to be in every scene - this isn't really a story about Ash's relationship with him, so it doesn't come naturally to me to always have him be there. Every couple hundred words or so, I'll go back and make sure I remembered to put him in the scene. Maybe this is my cue to start thinking about him as a slightly more active participant, but in a text-based medium I feel like I'm a little limited to things like the dialogue gags from the Guardians of the Galaxy movies where Groot will say something and then only Rocket will know what he meant. Anyone else run into this issue? Was there a solid workaround?

Anyway, I think I'd be well-served to put a content warning here for some potentially upsetting stuff later on in the chapter. I'm not sure what to call any of it, but there's some traumatic events, references to that trauma, and nudity that is referenced but never described in detail. If any of that warrants bumping this thing's rating up, then someone please let me know.

You may have also noticed I've updated the characters and description a little bit - the product of how a story changes as you write it. Hoping no-one feels misled.

Sixteen years ago

Visiting hours at the hospital had ended at seven. Thankfully, the news on Max had been softening: he was responding to the treatment, looked livelier than he had in months, and his main concern now was that he'd been waylaid from the start of his Pokemon journey. It wasn't a question of "if'' anymore. More one of "when will things go back to normal?" There wasn't a timeline, but every associate of Max and May's was breathing a little easier than they'd been, and the mood was a good deal less somber now.

Ash was still just a little spooked. Mortality is not really much of a concept to a ten year-old, but he was fourteen now and beginning to take life's many dangers a bit more seriously. Not to the point that it paralyzed him, of course - he still rode his bike as fast as it'd go, and he still never thought twice before throwing himself into whatever foolishness presented itself that day. But seeing Max in that hospital bed that first week had taken his insides for a spin in the dryer, and he noticed himself getting lost in his thoughts far, far more often than he ever had.

Perhaps not coincidentally, it was usually Misty he'd look at whenever a moment like that occurred. The two of them had volunteered for the Friday evening shift to keep Max company, and made sure to meet up in Petalburg in the afternoon for a late lunch/early dinner before heading to the hospital. At first, it had just been a whole lot of catching up - Ash's exploits in the years since the Master's Eight, Misty's many anecdotes about this gym battle and that one - but a few weeks into the summer, Misty said something very innocent that led, perhaps inadvertently, to some less than innocent thoughts: "I really miss you, Ash."

Now, their lunches were full of hypotheticals about what they'd do if they were traveling together again, very careful compliments about how kindly puberty had been treating the other, and extremely leading questions about which gym leaders and champions either of them thought were cute. Today, they had one such conversation about a potential fishing trip to the beach outside the city. Pikachu had listened in excitedly, chowing down on a small order of onion rings with ketchup.

After saying their farewells to Max for the week, they raced their bikes to the coast, chasing the summer sun as it sank ever closer towards the blue horizon. Pikachu sat in Ash's open backpack, looking back at Misty and making funny faces trying to get her to laugh. Palm trees dotted the sides of the path out of town, and they barely noticed the singing of Chatots on the wind.

"You know, if you'd ridden this fast back then, I bet my bike might have survived," shouted Misty from a few lengths behind him.

"Maybe! But then, would you have followed me? Could be I'm glad Pikachu trashed the thing!"

"Pi-kaaaa~!"

Ash sped up and dared Misty to keep pace, looking back at her with a sideways grin. He figured she was honor-bound to fire back with something about how lucky he was that she'd saved his ass.

"Maybe I'm glad he did, too." It was a quiet response, and he almost didn't hear it over the wind and the sound of bike chains.

Ash nearly lost control of his bike when he saw the hungry, determined look on Misty's face as she spoke. His first thought: Does she really want to beat me to the beach that badly? His second thought: There's probably a chance she's not thinking about that. Like, 15%.

His mind raced as he considered if he'd done the math right, but it was difficult to check his numbers: he found himself preoccupied with thoughts about her features: her lips, her long arms and legs, that sacred space between where her yellow top ended and her jean shorts began. He kicked himself thinking about how long he'd spent not preoccupied when they were first traveling together several years ago.

He was thinking so hard that he didn't notice the low guard rail lining the cliff just above the beach. And it was a half-second after running straight into it with his bike when he realized that he'd taken leave of both his seat and the ground.

"Piiii!"

Pikachu had been lifted out of his backpack, and was lucky enough to land with his bike behind the guard rail. Ash, though, could not say as much.

Now: it was a twenty foot drop to the sand and Ash became aware very quickly that he was short on options. Sand stops being soft when you hit it from that high up, and right now the only thing even remotely in his control was what part of him hit the ground first. He was thinking his ass was the best candidate - worst case scenario, he broke his tailbone.

But right as Ash was making peace with the fact that his incipient injury was about to kill whatever moment might be happening, the injury didn't happen - nor the impact. Instead, Ash hung suspended a foot above the sand, before dropping harmlessly down with a semi-dignified "oof."

Now on his back, head towards the cliff, Ash looked up and saw Misty bracing herself against the guardrail, and Psyduck in the middle of what looked like the worst headache of his life. Pikachu stood next to Misty, relieved and taking a few deep breaths.

A second passed before they both broke into a fit of laughter while Psyduck clutched at his head in consternation.

"Thank you, Psyduck," Misty said, trying to compose herself. "Let's get you in the water for a swim."

Ash, still a little dazed, struggled to pick himself up. Before he was able to, though, he saw Misty skid down the cliff towards him, having left her bike behind. Psyduck tumbled down the steep incline behind her, trying and failing to emulate his trainer and clawing at patches of grass for a handhold on the way to the sand.

"He can do that on command now?"

"If pressed," Misty admitted. "There was still a pretty good chance you broke something just now. I guess fate had other plans for you this evening."

"You're right," Ash said, nervous now, and trying to keep his words and thoughts innocent. "I think one of us hooks the big one tonight!"

Misty extended her hand down to Ash, who pulled himself the rest of the way up with her help. He was knee-deep in his growth spurt, and finally a few inches taller than her - he'd not paid too close attention up to now, but it was hard not to notice with her standing so close to him.

Also hard to ignore was how she'd not let go of his hand. He did not want her to. She drew her eyes up to meet his, narrowing them into a playfully competitive stare. Ash gulped.

"You know, if I keep saving you like this," said Misty, "eventually you're going to have to do something for me."

This was kind of what Ash had expected Misty to say earlier, but the context - and her intonation - were rather different from what he'd imagined. She'd not taunted but purred. He fixed his eyes on a minor imperfection in her left iris, trying desperately not to stare at the beads of sweat forming on her neck, or let his gaze wander down her shirt.

"I hope you could tell me what that is," Ash said, threading the needle against all odds. He hadn't been this proud of himself in years. "See, I'm kind of dense."

"Nuh-uh," said Misty, shaking her head, kicking off her sneakers, and backing away towards the water. "You, my friend, have gotten one too many freebies. This time? You can figure it out for yourself."

Suddenly she was off like a shot, and he was chasing her like she'd stolen one of his organs. Really, she had. Behind him, Pikachu scampered to catch up. The sky had turned the color of orange sherbert as the sun began to dip beneath the calm waters of western Hoenn.

Ash could barely keep his balance on the sand and couldn't believe that Misty could. Still, he was the faster of the two, and by the time they hit the wet sand, he'd closed the distance…and caught one of her suspenders. Oh no. He prepared himself for a tongue lashing at best.

It never came. Instead, Misty just unhooked both sides of her suspenders from the front of her shorts and let them fly behind her. One of them almost whipped Ash in the face, and he let go in surprise. Having successfully evaded him, Misty ran the rest of the way into the surf, up to her knees. She reached down and splashed at him as he caught his breath a few feet away. Pikachu had kept pace, and, tactfully, altered course to go for a swim a short distance down the beach. Ash gave his old friend a nod, turning his attention back to the beautiful girl in front of him just in time to get a face full of water.

"Oops."

"You're gonna pay for that!"

"I just bet, Mr. Pokemon Master."

Ash's shoes were gone as soon as he could get them off, and he didn't care where he'd thrown them. Jacket too. He made a token effort to roll his jeans up, putting it in fate's hands whether they stayed that way.

Finally, he was in the water with her, but once he'd finally caught all the way up, his confidence shrank and he stood frozen a foot away, suddenly unsure of what he was doing.

"We forgot our fishing rods with our bikes," said Ash, stalling for time.

"It's just as well," Misty shrugged, backing further away into the water until it was almost up to her waist. She didn't seem to care about her shorts getting wet, and all of the sudden Ash didn't care so much about his jeans. "Nothing to catch out here but Magikarp, after all."

One final time, Ash inched up to Misty - but this time his courage kept up with him, and he brought his hand around to catch the small of her back. It was warm, and he felt goosebumps. Misty's eyes widened, and she gasped with brief surprise before wading those last couple inches in towards him, taking a fistful of his tee shirt once she got there.

"So, if you followed me all the way out here, I figure you must h–"

Ash kissed her, and all the nervous energy that had been running laps around his nervous system since the beach stopped in its tracks and went off like fireworks. It was as though the world around them had disappeared - he forgot all about the water now at waist-level, the sensation of her gently turning his hat around for him, or the sound of Pikachu cheering him on from down the beach. For this moment, all of Hoenn, all the world, the entire universe was just Misty.

He felt the tang of her razz berry lip gloss, and it had already been a few seconds when he noticed she'd brought the tip of her tongue to his. Carefully, Ash tightened his grip on her until he could feel her heartbeat against his chest. As if in response, Misty pulled harder on his shirt with both fists in desperate excitement. She began to quake - just a little - as he traced up and down her spine with his fingers, and found her soft red hair with his free hand.

They continued on for what could have been fifteen minutes or an hour, but when they opened their eyes, the sun had finished its descent, its final rays reaching across the water to caress them one final time. Ash took a moment to admire the sight before turning his attention back to Misty.

"Hey."

"Hey."

They'd both been smoother in their lives, certainly. It was neither of their first kisses, but it may as well have been. For about thirty seconds, the two of them just breathed at one another, digesting what had just taken place.

"I feel like I should have done that the day you left to go back to Cerulean City," Ash finally said. "To hell with the gym, to hell with your sisters. They needed that place far more than you ever did."

"You probably should have," Misty said, laughter in her voice. "But I don't want you to worry about 'could haves' or 'should haves' right now, okay? Right now, you did. Live with me here, now."

He was happy to.

Some years later.

"Ash, we need to get out of here, now!"

He could barely see in the black stormy night. The water was up to his chest by now, and he could feel it rising further. Ash looked left - Feraligatr had returned from his latest search, empty handed like last time. The rain beat down on them so hard he could scarcely hear, but he remembered the boat was a hundred feet behind him - right?

No. It didn't matter where the boat was. There could still be someone alive, and he wasn't about to be the reason they weren't found.

"I'm not leaving," he shouted. Finally, he spied Serena, Misty, Brock, and Pikachu on the rescue boat - along with about a half-dozen terrified survivors. "Go back to the ship! I'll come back on Feraligatr!"

"Ash!" Serena's voice sounded harsher than he ever remembered it being, but neither of them had ever been this terrified. "If we stay out for much longer, we're all going to get crushed by another wave! You won't save anyone if you're dead!"

Try me.

Three days ago, an earthquake had rocked the islands south of Kanto during a monsoon, and the Sevii were right near the epicenter. The resulting tsunami drowned Three Island in an instant and decimated the rest of the archipelago. An hour later, another earthquake hit and the entire island chain began to sink. Three more had hit since, and with every quake, the timetable moved up on how long it would be before nothing remained. Thousands of lives had been lost, and tens of thousands were still at stake.

Ash, along with Cynthia, several other league champions, gym leaders, and trainers of note, had put a rescue mission together within twelve hours, chartering the SS Aqua and a half-dozen Seagallop ferries to sail south where they could spread out to all six of the remaining islands and look for survivors. They'd not been half as successful as they'd hoped.

Seven Island, or what remained of it, was sinking the fastest. Half the buildings in the port village had come off their foundations, and the Trainer Tower was unrecognizable from the last time Ash had visited.

"I told you, I'm not leaving!" He spat out some seawater and flipped his hat around for a better view. His mouth tasted coppery. "Check the canyon again!"

Through the rain, Ash spied a house he didn't recognize, the letters 'S.O.S.' painted onto the inside of every intact window and scrawled on the roof. The storm surge had torn it up from the ground, and it had only stopped moving when it crashed against the foot of a sheer cliff.

Maybe he heard a family inside screaming for his help. Or maybe it was the howl of the wind. They'd pulled two-dozen people out since they arrived a few hours ago out of a population he knew to be thousands. So he wasn't in the mood to second-guess himself.

"Feraligatr," Ash commanded. "The house!"

With all the energy he'd always possessed, Feraligatr motored towards the front door of the house and readied his fist to break it down.

"Ash, look o-"

He couldn't hear Brock finish his sentence as a swell of water slammed into his left side and sent him underwater. For a second, Ash blacked out. All he could process was how cold he suddenly felt. Then, he became vaguely aware of the water filling his mouth and forcing its way down his throat. The burning sensation in his windpipe grew more and more intense until he finally came too and immediately started flailing for someplace to hold onto or plant his feet.

A dark shape came towards him and before he knew what was happening, Ash broke the surface and started coughing up water - Feraligatr! The giant reptile threw Ash on his back, and was about to try for the door again with his trainer in tow when they both noticed Misty and Serena hanging onto Corsola's branches as it pulled them towards the house. Misty looked back towards him to make sure Feraligatr had been successful in pulling him out of the water before pointing him towards the rescue boat.

"You've done enough, Ash! We'll take it from here!"

Ash was about to follow her advice when he felt it. Everyone else must have, too - another one. The ground not currently underwater turned sideways, and Ash could only watch as what remained of the Trainer Tower toppled into a pile of twisted steel some distance away.

He turned his attention back towards the house, Misty, and Serena - and his eyes went wide in horror: the cliff face above them shook. Several rocks of varying size began raining down, some splashing harmlessly into the water but a couple coming dangerously close to striking either of the two most important people in his life. The whole thing was going to collapse.

Panicking, Ash reached for his Pokeballs and found Dragonite's. He had mere seconds to think of a strategy, and the quick one he came up with in that time would have to do.

"Go, Dragonite! Blast the falling rocks with Draco Meteor!"

The friendly orange dragon came sailing out of her Pokeball and immediately executed the all-or-nothing move, vaporizing a dozen rocks with her meteor barrage.

Beneath her, Misty and Serena shouted something to alert the family inside the house that they were there - but between the quake, the rain, Dragonite's attack, and the likely concussion he'd gotten a few moments ago, Ash couldn't hear what it was.

But he could still see. And what he could see was that there were no more falling rocks - the entire cliff face had come loose, currently sliding down towards the house, Misty, and Serena. Ash realized that with his limited time and resources, he had a choice to make: save the girls, or the family.

No, come on. He'd run into problems like this before. There was always a third option, always some way out. Maybe Seismitoad? Or could Pikachu do something with Iron Tail?

Tick tock, Ketchum. The family you came here to save, or the girls you're in love with.

The enormous slab of rock sped up and Ash didn't so much say the words so much as let them escape from his lungs:

"Dragonite, save Serena and Misty!"

Maybe the house was already empty. Maybe he'd failed before it even floated by, and the family inside had already drowned. Maybe the flash of movement he saw through the window just now was just a reflection. Or his imagination.

For a split second, Ash could see her, and realized to his horror that she was not just his imagination: a little girl, maybe four or five. Short, dark hair, carrying an old Buneary plush with her. She pressed her hands to the windows, probably having heard Misty earlier. Her gaze caught his, and then the house was gone beneath the collapsed rock face.

Dragonite flew back to him with the girls in his arms, Misty clutching Corsola's Lure Ball to her chest in panicked relief that she'd retrieved it in time. Serena was the first of the two to notice the numb fog that had quickly filled Ash's head. Not that she or anyone had time to address it.

Feraligatr began to swim back towards the rescue boat where Brock and Pikachu were waiting for the three of them.

Almost everyone currently aboard the SS Aqua with him tried - over the course of a couple hours - knocking on his cabin door and asking if he was interested in talking. He didn't even know if the answer was "no." Really, it had nothing to do with his interest but his ability, and whenever he tried to tell the latest visitor anything, nothing came out. So they moved on after a minute or so. It was just as well.

Ash sat naked on his bed after a shower that was supposed to have helped, looking at nothing as Pikachu sat next to him. His old friend had tried comforting him when they'd arrived back at the ship. But when that had failed, the electric mouse had opted to just remain present and let that be enough. If there was an "enough," he'd probably made it there.

Misty did not knock. It was her cabin, too. She'd dragged Serena in by her hand, and motioned for the coordinator to shut the door behind them.

Serena looked like a different person. Though they'd all dried off by now, it felt as though the floodwater had reached far further than her skin. If it was possible for a person to suffer water damage, she had. So had he.

"Ash," Misty began, sitting down next to him, "we did a headcount in the hold. One-hundred and thirty-nine people. They'd all be dead."

"Pikapi, pi pi pika. Chu, pika. Pikachu."

"He's right," Serena said, giving the mouse a gentle scritch behind the ears. She'd taken a seat on Ash's other side, and Pikachu had moved to her lap from the bunk. "You're a hero. You always have been, Ash."

Ash didn't really have anything for either of them. The only thing he wanted to say right now was "sorry" to the little girl. But she couldn't hear him, so he saved his breath.

"I was thinking about telling you that you made the right call," said Misty. "But I'm not sure it's going to matter. What I think is more important is that you know how much I love you."

Misty looked across Ash to a nervous Serena and gave her a warm smile and a nod of encouragement. There were some conversations they'd not really had yet, but this was more important than that. Serena closed her eyes and nodded, hyping herself up.

"I love you, too, Ash," Serena said, for the very first time in Misty's presence. "I'm so proud of you, always."

Ash finally cried.

Four years later.

Something about this wasn't working for Ash anymore. He didn't even know what "this" was, but the feeling of claustrophobic alienation was unmistakable.

He could still hear the roar of the Wyndon Stadium crowd from the locker room as they chanted his name. It was a wonderful little story: after a three-year hiatus and an endless stream of rumors that he was maybe done for good, he'd returned in theatrical fashion and won it all in his first year back. This was his sixth World Coronation title, the first one since he turned 20, and an historic record: the only trainer even close was Cynthia, with three titles to her name.

And he didn't care anymore. Either three years gone wasn't long enough, or Sevii had killed something in him. Because it didn't feel like it mattered. He remembered when it did - he remembered how much it did, and what the pursuit, the frustration, the triumph felt like. And while the rush was still there, it echoed in a hollow chamber inside of him. His shoulder pained him.

In a half hour, they were going to ask him to come back into the arena and collect the Championship Cup. There'd be a big to-do about it, a whole ceremony, and he'd shake hands with everyone. Nothing felt more unwelcome right now. He pulled his phone out and sifted through the many congratulatory texts until finally coming across the message from Misty he'd not opened since she sent it last week:

"I know you're trying. I'M trying. But you won't talk to me. Or Serena. She's given up on trying to get through to you, and I can't even blame her. Because I don't recognize you anymore. I've known you most of my life and you're a stranger to me now. Please, I know you're better than this. I know you CAN be, at least."

It hurt worse every time he reread, but he kept on doing it all the same. What did 'better' even look like? Was it a performance? A result? Was it something he was supposed to feel? Or an award someone gave him? 'Congratulations, Ash. We all got together and decided that you're Better.' How sweet that would be. He could show it to Misty and she'd have to stop telling him how unhappy she was. Then he could show it to Serena and she'd have to declare he wasn't too painful to be around anymore. Because he was Better.

"Forget this."

He was done with awards. He was done with people, and Misty and Serena were both better off without him anyway. It was time to go find a forest somewhere, befriend a colony of Beautifly or something, catch Pokemon, make camp where no-one would find him for a month and spend the whole time talking only to Pikachu. Maybe he'd come back after that. Maybe he wouldn't.

Ash went through his phone, blocking every single number in alphabetical order until he knew no-one would be able to reach him until he was good and ready. Pikachu looked on. He was pretty sure his friend knew what he was doing. But he'd not tried to stop him.

"Pikapi?"

"Yeah," said Ash. "We're leaving."

"Pi? Chupikapi?"

"Until I can think of a good reason to come back."

Ash sat up, collecting his Pokeballs, and left through the door. No-one was there to ask where he was going.