In January 2023, as he packed his trucks to head back to school, Xavier Thorpe couldn't stop himself from checking his cellphone every few minutes. Or seconds. Or just staring at it for a bit.
He was waiting, apparently in vain, for a text message from Wednesday Addams. Despite giving her a phone before everyone went home for the extended winter break, Xavier had only heard from Wednesday twice and both were in response to messages he sent her which included questions.
They were due back at school tomorrow and he'd tried the same strategy hours ago when he'd written and asked it she would be returning to Nevermore.
He put his phone down, picked up a shirt to fold it, was positive he heard his text tone come in, dropped the shirt, grabbed his phone and, and ... sighed heavily.
"I'm going crazy," Xavier muttered to himself, dropping the phone on his bed and then flopping down beside it.
Staring at his ceiling, he could feel the walls of his depression creeping in on all sides. He didn't have the energy to fight the sadness and loneliness engulfing him from all sides.
And that's when the mental film of his saddest moments in life began to flit through his mind.
--
At 10 years old, Xavier felt he was too short and too pudgy. His mother kept promising he would outgrow this heavy stage, but Xavier couldn't help staring at his body in the mirror, thinking it was less than it could be.
Having a famous father certainly didn't help. Every time the family went out in public, photographers invaded their personal space, taking photos and videos of Vincent Thorpe, his perfect wife and his oh so imperfect son.
Dressed in a tuxedo for the first time, Xavier couldn't help feeling like he was being strangled. He didn't understand why he needed to be so dressed up for his godmother's funeral, but Vincent had demanded it, so it was happening.
The suit was too warm, but taking the jacket off wasn't an option. The pew in the church was uncomfortable, but squirming got his upper arm pitched. The food at the reception was smelled wonderful, but Xavier's mother fixed his plate and only gave him vegetables with no dressing. It was what she was eating so it was perfectly fine for that to be all he ate as well.
Xavier was miserably sitting at a table by himself when he first saw her: A girl about his age but thin with perfect posture and adorable braids hanging over each shoulder. Her dress was only a slightly darker shade of black than her hair and face, while not happy, also did not seem sad. It would take a few more years before Xavier would come across the perfect word to describe this girl's face, but even though his young mind didn't yet know the word "serene" that was what this girl was.
Standing besides an old, hunched woman, the girl looked around the reception. Even from a distance, Xavier was sure there wasn't anything she didn't notice. And just as that thought occurred to him, her eyes caught his gaze and held it.
She and the old woman walked toward Xavier, but he was sure they were headed for someone else. Despite hissed instructions from his parents, no one had spoken to him all day.
"You must be Xavier," the old woman said, making him jump. He'd been so trapped by the girl's gaze that he hadn't realized how close she'd gotten.
"Yes, ma'am," Xavier told the woman as he briefly looked up at her. It didn't take long before his gaze slid to the side to look at the girl again.
"I'm Esmeralda Frump, but you can call me Grandmama," the old lady said as she leaned heavily on her cane and reached a hand out to shake Xavier's. "Your godmother was my very best friend when we were young. Back when the dinosaurs carted us around."
Her bark of laughter made Xavier jump and then he blushed when he saw the girl arch an eyebrow at him.
"This is my granddaughter, Wednesday Addams," Grandmama said and the girl -- Wednesday -- reached a hand out to shake Xavier's just as her grandmother had.
"It's nice to meet you," Xavier mumbled and Grandmama frowned down at him.
"You're not having a good time here," she stated as she sat down next to him. Wednesday sat across the table from Xavier and he felt as though she might be examining him down to his bones. "I don't blame you; this is the most boring funeral I've ever been."
Wednesday nodded in agreement.
"Magnolia never wanted this kind of downer," Grandmama said and it took Xavier a moment to realize that Magnolia was his godmother. He'd always been told to just call her Godmother. "All these people standing around talking solemnly. What a waste of a gathering!"
Several people turned to stare at Grandmama, who seemed entirely unconcerned by the stares as she continued.
"People should be sharing stories of the amazing adventures Magnolia went on!" She yelled and the corners of Wednesday's mouth turned up as even more people started staring at Grandmama. "You people don't know what the hell you're doing!"
At this, Grandmama jumped up to head toward the podium, but she stopped briefly and looked Wednesday in the eyes.
"Get this boy out of here and go have fun," Grandmama said. "I think Pugsley has been hiding from you long enough now for him to think you've forgotten about him."
"Perfect," Wednesday said and Xavier's heart soared at the sound of her voice, which he could only describe as perfect.
With her eyes glinting mischievously, Wednesday stood and indicated Xavier should follow her into the graveyard.
Once there, they began playing hide and seek, starting by finding a small boy even pudgier than Xavier, his eyes watery with nearly shed tears.
For the next hour, Xavier had more fun than he ever had had before playing with Wednesday and her brother. It was his turn to hide now, though, and he wanted to make it really difficult for the Addams siblings to find him. They were both incredibly good at hide and seek. It was almost as though they had grown up in the cemetery.
Walking briskly back into the funeral home, Xavier saw his godmother's casket off to the side. No one was near it and he was sure the Addams kids wouldn't find him there as he crawled inside the silk-lined box. As he settled down, though, the lid fell closed, encasing Xavier in darkness and he wasn't strong enough to reopen it.
He tried to remain calm, but the longer he stayed in the darkness, the more aware he became of the dead body next to him. When the casket started moving, Godmother's hand fell off her chest and brushed Xavier's face.
That's when he started screaming for help.
His voice was almost hoarse when the casket stopped moving and Xavier heard a loud alarm sound outside of the box.
When the lid opened, all Xavier could see was Wednesday Addams' face, aglow with evening sunlight streaming in behind her from a stained-glass window.
She was an angel, he was sure of it.
But then his father was lifting him out of the casket, his mother was fussing over him and the Addams family was leaving. But they couldn't leave! Not yet!
Xavier didn't get the chance to say goodbye, or share his phone number or anything because his parents were in the way.
That's how he lost his angel.
--
At 12 years old, Xavier is taller but still chubby as he stands alone in a painting studio, trying to block out the sounds of his parents arguing.
He turns his music up louder and continues painting without conscious thought.
The yelling gets closer, the words almost decipherable, but Xavier keeps painting.
He hears a door slam shut.
The mansion is now eerily quiet. So quiet that Xavier puts down his brush and really looks, for the first time, at what he's been painting: It's the mansion's front door from inside, his mother walking outside with suitcases in hand, her back to him but her face turned just barely over one shoulder, almost as though in thought.
Somehow, Xavier knows he'll never see her again.
--
At 14, Xavier is taller still and somewhat muscular, still thin but able to defend himself if needed.
And it's needed a lot.
The "normies" at the middle school have been using him as a punching bag and he's not looking forward to starting high school.
But that's when Vincent tell him he'll be going somewhere new for high school. Somewhere he'll get along. Somewhere far enough away that Vincent can tour more often without interrupting his studies.
Nevermore is an imposing school, but Xavier takes to it immediately. Here, he's not so different. Here, he's not so weird. Here, he has friends. Here, he has a girlfriend.
Freshman year rushes past and Xavier loves every moment of it. Bianca really likes him, Ajax is hilarious, classes are fun and his painting skills are rapidly improving.
--
At 16, just before sophomore year at Nevermore, Xavier is miserable.
Bianca was manipulating him. It's anyone's guess for how long.
Did she ever love him? Did he really love her? Was any of it real?
--
Xavier is in fencing class and he moves off to the side as Wednesday Addams walks through the center of the room as though she owns it, completely unconcerned with the fencing pairs she's interrupting.
Xavier is only vaguely aware of the exchange between Wednesday and Bianca before they start fencing. He's immediately impressed with Wednesday's skills, thrilled when she gets the first point on Bianca, shocked when Bianca gets the second and concerned when Wednesday's head bleeds from a small cut, ending the bout.
He can't take his eyes off Wednesday and that's how he knows she doesn't notice him at all.
It's a miserable feeling.
--
The miserable feeling comes and goes that first semester with Wednesday. Xavier is elated when she asks him to the Rave'N and deeply hurt when he discovers her ulterior motive.
Doesn't she know him better than that? How could she think he's a monster? How could she accuse him of hurting anyone?
The wound is deep, the bleeding interior and yet he continues living. Continues pining.
--
Xavier is still 16, he's now tall, thin, muscular and athletic.
He's also 100 percent heartbroken as he stares at Wednesday from inside his jail cell.
"I saw it in a vision when he kissed me."
"I'm glad you were getting some action while I was falsely accused," Xavier sneers bitterly.
Was there anything Tyler Galpin wouldn't ruin for him?
--
One battle with an evil, supernatural pilgrim later, Xavier was friends with Wednesday again. She really was one of few people who would take an arrow for him, after all.
But Xavier wanted more. He wanted so much more.
--
Staring at his ceiling, Xavier shook himself, trying to physically rid his mind of the depressive state it was falling into.
And then he heard it, the simple, unassuming sound he'd chosen for his text tone.
Cautiously, Xavier picked up his cellphone and lit the screen. When he saw it was a text notification from Wednesday, he couldn't stop the grin that started to form on his face.
"Yes, I'll be back at Nevermore tomorrow." Wednesday wrote.
And Xavier's heart soared once more.