My name is Tom. I can't give you my last name. Even though I am already infested, it's with a Peace Movement Yeerk who Visser Three thought was dead, and if he found out, he would torture her, then kill her, then reassign me to another Yeerk who would make my life hell. Again. He would also either kill or infest my kid brother and his friends, the only known resistance on this planet to him and the Yeerk empire.
Until I got Aftran 942, I was of the very strong opinion that the only good Yeerk was a dead Yeerk. I had my reasons. The two previous Yeerks assigned to me made me wish I was dead pretty much every day. Every hour. I wasn't entirely sure what I believed about the afterlife (my dad's Jewish and my mom is Christian, but while we say grace before dinner and occasionally go to church, that's the extent of our observance), it had to be better than this.
About seven months ago, Jake and his friends rescued Aftran from the Yeerk Pool. It was really Cassie who did the rescuing, because the others had caught the flu version of Ax's yamphut-don't ask me how they managed to catch an Andalite disease, because I'm as clueless as the rest of them-they were all in support of freeing Aftran. She and Cassie had become friends before.
I guess you could say Cassie and I have joint custody of Aftran. Or, maybe, Aftran has joint custody of us. Either way, Cassie gets Aftran from Saturday afternoon to Sunday afternoon, unless there's important Sharing stuff or she has to feed, and then it's Friday evening to Saturday afternoon. Or, we play it by ear. Gets too complicated, otherwise.
This particular Friday evening was a normal one, at least for me and Aftran. School, then a stop to the Yeerk Pool for her to feed, and then a meeting at The Sharing immediately after. This particular meeting was cut short by Visser Three discovering that a building that the Yeerks wanted to make into a Sharing "outlet" and/or another entrance to the Yeerk Pool was under attack.
Three guesses who.
Times like now were when I was really glad that Aftran took full control of my body during these meetings. Otherwise, I wouldn't have been able to keep myself from grinning.
She, of course, shared my feelings, but knew how to look like a good angry Yeerk when she heard the news.
Really, the fact that everyone escaped with all of their body parts in tact showed the urgency (or, perceived urgency) of the situation. On the other hand, Visser Three had at least a hundred Hork-Bajir Controllers sent to this building before we left so...
After hearing this change of plans, Aftran and I were both worried. That many Hork-Bajir fighting in what I assumed to be a relatively small and enclosed space couldn't be great for Jake and the others. It could even result in the end of the resistance. I was pretty sure that Visser Three, the only Yeerk who'd successfully managed to take on an Andalite for his host, wanted to remain the sole Andalite Controller for the immediate future. (Never mind the fact that I was fairly sure that if I wasn't in the picture, Cassie would willingly host Aftran, making her the sole Animorph Controller.) It was far more likely that Visser Three would want the death of the so-called "Andalite Bandits" over the capture of them. At least, that's what we thought. Either fate for the Animorphs, but especially for my kid brother, would be impossible for me to handle. Plus, as much as I still found it hard to believe, my baby brother was the leader of the only resistance.
A brief talk with Aftran confirmed my initial belief that we couldn't meet them anywhere near the building in question. Way too suspicious, what with my face being all too easy to recognize by a Controller. Well, the ones in Visser Three's army.
The best thing to do would be to page Jake and ask if they needed anything after the battle. Of course, there was only a 50-50 chance of him getting my message, because it was next to impossible to morph anything except clothes, and a page could be traced, so...
We headed home, and waited.
Mom and Dad would be gone this weekend, so that was a relief. I loved my parents, obviously, but Jake couldn't enter the house in his morphing clothes around them, and we couldn't even talk about the Yeerks without keeping our voices low.
We'd considered outright telling them, on more than one occasion, but it just felt too risky. They weren't in any more immediate danger than the rest of the Animorphs, and we couldn't just make them pack everything up and go into hiding. Not until, or unless, it was necessary.
Partly to have something to do and partly because I was hungry and hadn't eaten yet, I made dinner for myself and Jake, banking on the hope that he'd be back soon. I cooked up a bunch of grilled cheese sandwiches, which were easy to make and delicious. Granted, my version of "dinner" varied from Mom and Dad's by a long shot, but with the exception of grilled cheese sandwiches and other breakfast foods, I couldn't cook a lot of stuff.
More to the point, I'd learned that after battles, Jake craved comfort food. Veggies, not so much.
At this moment, so did I.
(I am sure he will be fine,) Aftran assured me after watching me consume my third sandwich.
(Yeah, he's a cat like that,) I attempted to joke. (Except he's got nine hundred lives, not nine.)
Aftran laughed and then gave me a strong mental hug that lasted until the door to the back of the house opened.
My immediate relief at seeing my kid brother alive and not bleeding to death or with Hork-Bajir blades sticking out of his body-which may or may not be one of my recurring nightmares-faded when I saw that, honestly, Jake usually looked a lot better than this, even after fighting the Yeerks. Something about it was the completely flat expression on his face. Then, he was also moving slowly, like it seemed to be a herculean effort to put one foot in front of the other. I knew Jake well enough to see that he was flat out exhausted and generally, well, spent. To use a Mom word.
Wordlessly, I crossed the few feet of space between us and pulled him into a huge hug. Jake, as usual, hugged me back, but it was tighter than usual. Like he was afraid I was about to let go.
"Hey. It's okay, Midget," I murmured into his ear. "You're alive, and that's what counts."
"Yeah," Jake agreed, his voice hardly audible, still hugging me fiercely. "We made it out."
We stayed like that for at least a couple of minutes, and when we both let go, Jake sort of stumbled. Before he hit the floor, I grabbed him, then eased him over into a chair.
"Here, sit down. Eat," I urged, running a hand through his hair.
Jake nodded, looking slightly more revived as I transferred several grilled cheese sandwiches from the oven to his plate. He took one in his hands and practically inhaled it before slowly down and managing to chew the second. I pulled a chair over next to Midget and sat down.
Jake ate the third at a normal speed, then pushed his plate aside. Instead of regaining energy, he just looked closer and closer to passing out right there.
He tried pushing his chair back. "Thanks for the sandwiches, Tom." He managed a smile. "I really need to get to bed now."
I nodded, standing up, then moved the chair out from behind him like he was an old man, and tousled his hair. We started walking up the stairs, my arm around his shoulders.
"After you get cleaned up, right?"
We were in the hallway, now. I kept my tone playful, but the question was serious. Sleeping in his morphing clothes would be downright uncomfortable, and there was the whole blood on his leg issue. And that was just what I had noticed.
Jake gave me a blank look. Or, maybe, it was an exhausted look. "Tom, I'm really, really tired."
I put another arm around his shoulder. "I can tell, Midget," I told him, softly, reasonably. "But you have to shower and change into your PJs. I mean, you have blood on your leg, for one thing. Besides, what if Mom and Dad come back early and see you with blood all over you and sleeping in your superhero outfit?"
Okay, so this was unlikely, but still possible. Hardly without precedent.
"Tom," Jake protested, voice close to a whine, looking down at the floor as though considering plopping himself down right there.
"A quick five minute shower," I urged, steering him in the direction of the bathroom. "In, out. You don't even need to wash your hair. You'll feel much better afterwards."
Jake just sighed. "I'm just..."
"I know you're exhausted, Midget," I allowed. I almost suggested letting Aftran into his head, so that she could take control and he could fall asleep. But she'd only been in his head once before, and as tired as he was, I knew he wouldn't let her in again just to have her take control of his body. Going into protective big brother mode, I added, "Midget, you got to think rationally. What if Mom or Dad saw you sleeping like that, and with blood on your leg?"
Jake sighed again, then entered the bathroom. "Okay," he relented, "but I will probably pass out after the shower, if not in it. And you'll be responsible for nearly killing me."
Thing was, it didn't seem that unlikely. If he wasn't careful, anyway.
"Uh huh. How about I wait outside in case you injure yourself?" I asked, trying not to smirk.
I saw Jake sigh, then shake his head at me before heading inside. He removed his tight shirt and I turned away, giving him privacy. Then, as promised, I waited outside until after I heard the water running.
I debated running to my room and grabbing my version of pajamas (t-shirt and shorts), but decided against it. If Jake did fall and crack his head open, it would probably be when I wasn't outside the door.
Five minutes passed.
"Hey! You okay in there, Jake?" I called in.
"Yeah. I'm almost finished...Okay, I'm getting out. Don't look!" Was my kid brother's response, a little louder than necessary.
"I won't!" I promised.
On an ordinary day, I would have made some remark about his being a midget, but after a battle that seemed to drain the very life from him, that seemed insensitive bordering on mild bullying.
Besides, to be completely honest, I was already worried about Jake. He was looking paler than usual, and had probably lost weight. The war was definitely wearing on him. Even with me there to help him through it, I knew he would hardly get out unscathed.
(You're very protective of your brother,) Aftran praised.
(Yeah, well. Aside from the whole letting him fight an intergalactic war thing,) I noted.
(That's not really a choice either of us has,) Aftran reminded me, gently. (All we can do is provide information and lots of support.)
Yeah. We were good on both those ends.
Jake emerged from the bathroom with a long towel that covered a fair amount of his (too skinny) stomach up to his legs. I stepped aside so he could leave the room.
"Hey. Feeling any better?" I asked as we headed into his room.
He shrugged. "Ready for bed," Jake yawned. "Um, can you stay with me?"
"You bet. Just give me a minute to get changed."
He nodded, and I nearly sped into my room to exchange my jeans and t-shirt into an oversized t-shirt and shorts.
A few minutes later, I was back in Jake's room. He looked about ten in his red and blue and yellow striped pajamas. A very tired ten year old.
I smiled at him, and he managed a small smile and a long yawn. Almost at the same time, we got into Jake's bed. Honestly, I wasn't tired enough to sleep yet, but I would keep Jake company while he fell asleep, and then join him when I was ready to turn in for the night.
"Midget? How bad was it?" I asked, gently, as I pulled the covers over us. Then, I put one arm around Midget, and ran a hand through his still wet hair with the other.
Jake shuddered, but it was probably more from remembering the battle than the feel of my hand on his head.
"Really, really bad. Might have been the worst ever. Tom, we hardly escaped with our lives. I thought..." Jake rolled over towards me. "I, uh, I really thought at least one of us would die."
I had an inkling of who the one was.
I'd always known that Jake could die on the missions. Hearing him admit how close they'd come to death...
I really wished I could prevent him from fighting. Impossible, though.
"You made it," I reassured him, then placing both hands on his shoulders, studying him. "You all survived, and I am betting a bunch of Visser Three's shock troops didn't."
Jake managed a nod. Swallowed hard.
Something else was wrong. I could feel it.
(It's a wonder he managed to keep everything from you, when you were infested by Gariss and Temrash,) Aftran marveled, gently.
(He knew his life and freedom depended on it,) I pointed out.
It must have hurt. To know that he was living in the same house as a Controller, but powerless to do anything about it.
Well, until they saved Aftran. That must have been so unexpected...
I turned my focus back to Jake.
"Hey. Anything else you want to talk about?" I asked, gently.
"Cassie asked me how we were different from the Yeerks. She was crying, Tom. I... I couldn't deal." He looked away.
I reached over and, carefully, pulled my kid brother into my arms. He didn't object, but his shoulders started shaking, and he hunched himself forward, like he was trying to make himself invisible.
"Are we? Like them?" Jake pressed, not looking at me.
(Poor kid,) I sighed.
Aftran gave me a wordless mental nod.
"No, Jake. You're nothing like them," I told Jake, holding him even closer. "For us, it's about saving the planet. Saving humanity, too. If they win, Jake, they will destroy everything. That's worth fighting for. Killing for."
Jake sighed. "I know. I just-I couldn't handle it, then. Even if Cassie needed me to."
I could sort of understand Jake's point of view, and knew Aftran could understand Cassie's. Neither were wrong.
No kid should have to fight a war. Much less lead one.
"How about you call Cassie tomorrow?" I suggested, softly, tucking some stray strands of hair behind his ear. "Or come with us. Whatever you think would be best. She'll have Aftran in the afternoon anyway, but it might help for you to talk before that."
"I really should have talked to her earlier tonight," Jake admitted, his breath catching. "I just..."
"I know," I soothed, rocking him a little. "It's okay. You'll get through this. Probably better to talk after you've both had some sleep, okay?"
Jake let out another sigh. "Thanks, Tom."
"You're welcome," I answered. After a couple of minutes, I spoke up again. "I mean, Jake? I'm not saying you scored boyfriend points today. Just that this won't change the fate of the planet. You two will talk, work things out. Meantime, try to get some sleep and not beat yourself up about it, okay?"
Jake nodded, now curling himself against me. Which would have been fine if he was ten years younger, but I knew he'd regret sleeping this way the next morning. I helped maneuver him into a comfortable sleeping position.
"Stay with me?" Jake mumbled.
I hid a grin. We hadn't slept apart once for the better part of a year, but he still asked, sometimes.
"You bet."
I wrapped my arms around him, and he placed his head on my chest, even though he had a few pillows to choose from.
Not that I minded.
Moments later, Jake began to snore.
An hour later, I knew that Jake was down for the night. I'd planned to get some homework done, but that would have to wait until tomorrow. Honestly, I was feeling pretty tired, myself. I snuck out of bed to brush my teeth and returned to a still sleeping Jake. In spite of this, he still managed to find my shoulder and use it as a pillow.
Grinning to myself, I closed my eyes, feeling safe as Aftran wrapped me in a secure mental hug.
(Good night, Aftran,) I told her, yawning. I secured my arms around Jake, who mumbled something incoherent in his sleep.
(Good night, Tom. Sleep well,) she responded, kindly, still holding my mind in hers.
I slept well, unprepared for what I would find when I woke up.
When I woke up the next morning, I felt safe and well rested. A glance at the clock next to Midget's bedside table showed it was just after 8. Early for a Saturday morning, but not insanely early. When we were kids, up until I was thirteen and Jake was ten, we would wake up early, pour ourselves big bowls of cereal, and sit down on the couch for Saturday morning cartoons. I kept watching them later than I would have, normally, because Jake loved them and bugged me to watch them with him. I smiled at the memory.
I tried to reposition myself as Jake's head was still on my shoulder. A slight pinch of annoyance was quickly replaced by concern for my kid brother. Last night had clearly been rough-in more ways than just the battle. He had just turned fifteen. Was studying for his permit test. What with all of the battles within those last few months, he was hardly keeping up in school, let alone worrying about driving. It felt so unfair. He and Cassie should be dating, going to movies and school dances together. He should be driving with Mom or Dad (being 18, I was three years too young) and learning how to parallel park. Thinking about college, even. If only in a distant way, since he was almost two years away from applying.
Nope. He was fighting to save the human race.
(When we win, your brother and all of his friends will be able to go anywhere they want for school, if they want to,) Aftran reassured me. (Their grades won't matter.)
(Just like being the kid of a president, huh?) I asked, not managing to hide a grin.
(Except for the lack of nepotism, exactly that,) Aftran replied.
Of course, we had no idea when the war would end. Jake was less than optimistic, and even I didn't think we were much closer than we had been in the beginning.
Before I could speculate further about the progress of the war, Jake woke up. He seemed to bolt upright, nearly injuring my shoulder in the process, but I'd had worse back when I played varsity basketball.
"Midget?" I asked, carefully, watching as my kid brother started blinking and finally turned towards me. "Hey. You okay?"
Jake suddenly had me in a hug that nearly cracked my ribs. Okay, it wasn't that bad, but it was a fierce hug. I squeezed back, tentatively, then tightly, and finally the pressure released around my midsection.
"Hey," I murmured, putting an arm around him, gently urging him back against the pillows. "Bad dream?"
"It-it wasn't a dream," Jake managed.
At my sudden inhalation of air, Aftran spoke up.
(He probably just thought it was extra realistic, honey,) she soothed.
Which helped.
I nodded, giving Jake a sympathetic look.
"Okay. Do you want to tell me what happened?" I suggested.
"It was about ten years in the future," Jake began.
The rest of the story took nearly an hour.
To be honest, if Jake hadn't experienced sario rips and time travel before, not to mention the Ellimist and Crayak, I would have believed that Jake had just dreamt it all. A very vivid dream, sure, but just that.
He'd been feeling guilty about Cassie, so in his dream, she'd been the sole Animorph to be given a decent Yeerk-except the Yeerk changed her into a near terrorist. They'd been worried about losing the war, so, naturally, they lost the war.
Stuff like that.
"Was I there?" I asked, not sure I wanted to know the answer.
Jake nodded, reluctantly. "Your new Yeerk told me they had starved Aftran. Made her suffer for weeks. They infested you with a real jerk right away, made you watch her starve. The Yeerk said that you broke completely in less than a month."
(It didn't happen,) Aftran spoke up, almost sharply. At my mental wince, she added, far more gently, (I'm sorry. It didn't happen, honey. Whatever your brother experienced, it wasn't real. I'm alive, you're alive. They're still fighting.)
Jake dying aside, my biggest fear was something happening to Aftran and being handed over to an empire Yeerk. I'd had two in my head. Temrash had been awful, but Gariss had been a whole other type of evil. Temrash, at least, left me alone after I gave up. After I stopped fighting him. For Gariss, it was this sadistic game.
I still woke up with nightmares about them, but it was becoming rarer. Aftran wasn't just a decent Yeerk, she took care of me. It was honestly better being with her than it would have been being without a Yeerk, because then, I would only have had myself to help me. That...wouldn't have worked.
Focusing my attention towards Jake, I pulled him into a hug. He clung to me for awhile, and when we both let go, I spoke again, softly.
"I don't know what happened, Midget, but it didn't last. I'm alive, and so's Aftran. It's, you know, the day after you fought at that building. Not ten years later. The war isn't over, and the Yeerks haven't won," I told him.
"I know. I know," Jake repeated. "But it felt so real." Then, he sighed. "It wasn't the Ellimist. I don't know who it was, but it was like there were voices and they were evaluating me...I really don't want to see them again."
"I'm beginning to think it's all just a giant game to them," I half mused, half grumbled.
Jake laughed, then leaned against my shoulder. "Maybe."
"You're still tired," I observed. "Want to go back to bed for a little?"
He looked a little scared. Like if he closed his eyes, he'd be back in that dystopian future, the only Animorph without a Yeerk in his head.
"You can't avoid sleeping forever," I pointed out. "This would be a good test."
Jake nodded, then yawned. "Stay with me?"
"You bet. Just going to get my school books, okay?" I asked. "I promise, I won't be taken captive when I leave your room."
Jake managed a shaky smile. "Sure."
There were no Controllers in the hallway, or in my room. I could understand Jake's wariness, though. Had to be awful, waking up and seeing that the worst case scenario, the future we had all been fighting against, was real. Who were the creatures that put him through that, anyway?
I would have liked to punch them.
(Me too,) Aftran murmured, protectively.
(I hope we're done with them. Your people are bad enough. Well, not yours, not anymore...) I trailed off.
(I know what you mean,) Aftran reassured me. (Trust me, the feeling is mutual.)
I smiled at her, then grabbed my bag before Jake could worry.
Assuming he hadn't fallen asleep.
When I got back, Jake was still sitting up in bed. Upon seeing me, his face took on a visibly relieved look.
I put the bag next to the bed and sat down, taking Jake in my arms.
"It's okay, Midget," I soothed. "Nothing like that happened."
Yet, anyway.
"Yeah," he murmured, resting against me. "I think I'll call Cassie before."
"Good idea," I praised, smoothing out his hair.
Jake settled himself back under the covers, his head against my shoulders. I was still sitting, which would be good for homework, but I imagined this slumped over position would give Jake a backache when he woke up. I could fix that, of course.
I reached over for my History book and again for a highlighter. With one hand, I read the assigned chapters and made necessary markings. I had my other one around Jake's back, aware of and feeling comforted by, the sound of his steady breathing.
By the time I got halfway through my English assignment-after completing science-I saw Jake sit up and stretch. My arm unceremoniously fell to my side, but I didn't mind.
"Hey," I greeted, turning and smiling at him. "Sleep okay?"
Jake rubbed his eyes and nodded. "Yeah, the extra-" He glanced at the clock. "Three hours helped."
"You did have a pretty intense battle, from what you told me," I noted, putting aside my English book after dog-earing the page. "Plus, that whole...whatever it was."
"Yeah," Jake agreed. Looking at my book, he asked, "Homework?"
I rolled my eyes. "I'll have you know I'm reading George Orwell's '1984' for fun."
Jake returned the eye roll. "Sure you are."
Nonchalantly, I put the book on top of my bag. Jake was stretching as I sat up, completely unaware. Inside my mind, Aftran giggled, knowing what I was about to do.
Before Jake could do more than glance in my direction, I tackled him, taking him down. Of course, in this particular case, "down" meant on his stomach onto the bed, with my hands around his stomach and my legs locked around his, effectively immobilizing my poor, defenseless brother.
He let out a "Oomph!" sound as his stomach crashed against the bed, and began wiggling around, trying to escape.
Jake and I had rough housed practically since he was old enough to crawl. My parents allowed it, under the condition that if either one of us yelled at the other to stop, we had to. Way past the time they cared to enforce such a rule, we adhered to it. Our goal was always to play, not to cause any serious injury to the other.
I applied same rule during the rare occasion I put Jake in a headlock and gave him noogies. Bug my brother, sure, teach him not to challenge me in front of my peers (or his friends), definitely, but actually hurt him? Never. I'd kill anyone who tried to hurt Jake, too. Well, I'd thought I would.
All that in mind, when Jake began to squirm and break my grip on him, he was also laughing. I held firm, contemplating adding tickling to the mix, but decided that would be going too far.
"You tricked me!" Jake grumbled, still trying to move. "I didn't know you were going to try that!"
I grinned. "Give up?"
Jake, through peels of laughter, tried to kick my foot. Failed.
"Ohh, you're gonna pay for that!" I teased, my arms inching closer to his neck.
"Umph!" Still laughing, Jake tried to move his head out of my arm, and then remembered that he had arms.
I maneuvered my right arm so that his head was nearly crushed against the bed, and proceeded to give him a noogie with my left hand.
I hadn't thought that it hurt, really, but the yelp from my kid brother made me release my grip.
Completely.
"Jake?" I asked, cautiously, moving my hands up to indicate surrender. "You okay?"
He turned, gave me a devilish grin, and then performed the same move on me that I had just minutes earlier.
Well, tried to. I had more muscle mass than him, a couple of inches of height, and more practice.
To his credit, Jake managed to land me on the bed on my stomach, and, to give him credit, he had my legs immobilized. I kept my arms flailing around, though, and in his desire to trap me, he leg go of my feet. I didn't kick Jake-although I could have-but I got free of his grip without any problems.
"Uh oh," he groaned, jumping out of bed.
I lunged towards him...and pulled my kid brother into a bear hug, which he returned after minimal protests.
"I win," I declared, smoothing some hair out of his face.
"You win," he agreed, his arms still wrapped around me.
I returned to the bed, followed by a reluctant Jake.
"It's okay," I promised. "I won, remember? No more battles for today."
"You swear?" Jake asked, eying me with some suspicion.
"Cross my heart and all that," I assured him.
Jake sat down next to me, against the pillows.
"How's your head?" I wondered, after a few seconds.
"I've had worse," Jake answered, shrugging.
"From me?"
"No! I mean, you know, from battles," Jake explained.
I wrapped Jake into a hug. He rested his head on my shoulders, and we stayed like that for awhile. Jake was the one to break it off, giving me a contented smile.
"You know, that was fun."
I gave him a little nudge. "The part that you thought you might win?"
He turned to me with a grin. "Especially that."
I chuckled. "Yeah, well, I'd stick to fighting as an animal if I were you. Right now, I've still got five inches of height and at least thirty of muscle on you, Midget, and I'm still growing."
"You're not five inches taller than me," Jake protested, looking up at me.
"Yeah, kiddo, I am," I informed him, grinning. "I'm six feet and two inches. Almost six foot and three inches, really."
"You're only six feet!" Jake insisted.
"Only?" I echoed. "'Sides, it's not six feet. It's six feet and two inches," I reminded him.
"No way!" Midget protested, as though he could make it not true by denying it.
"Jake," I explained, patiently, "the doctor measured me last month. Unless you're saying that a doctor's measuring is off..."
"He misread it," Jake retorted. "I'm five-nine, and you're not even close to five inches taller than me."
"We'll have Mom and Dad measure us tonight," I placated.
"Without Aftran?" Jake asked, dubiously.
"What, you think she gives me extra height?" I laughed.
(Extra weight, maybe,) my Yeerk chirped up.
(Right. Like ten grams, if that,) I grinned. (You don't make me taller.)
(I don't know,) Aftran mused, playfully, (perhaps we do.)
I gave her a mental eye roll. (How's that?)
(Oh, it's possible that we cause your head to expand, ever so slightly,) Aftran teased.
(You mean, you give your hosts a big head?) I laughed.
(Maybe!) she grinned.
"Tom?" Jake shook me, just a little.
Playfully, I nudged him back. "Hey, you know I'm going to zone out when I start talking to Aftran."
He nodded, looking visibly relieved. The dream, or whatever, must still be on his mind.
"Anyway, she thinks it's possible that she gives me a big head, and slightly more mass," I relayed. "Before you say something about my big head, she thinks it applies to all hosts."
Jake rolled his eyes at me. "You don't have a big head."
I wrapped an arm around him. "Aww, thanks, Midget."
"But you're definitely not more than six feet tall," he added.
I chuckled. "Fine, fine. We'll get Mom or Dad to measure us, later. After Aftran's gone to Cassie's for their weekly sleepover, so there won't be any...alien interference."
This seemed to be enough for Jake, because he nodded in agreement.
I made us stacks of pancakes for breakfast, during which he called Cassie to make sure it was okay if Aftran (who went unnamed, as providing an alias would be way too much trouble) came over later. I heard him also ask her questions, like how she was doing, to indicate that the call was about more than just confirming the temporary transfer of Yeerk custody, as I liked to call it. Naturally, I could only hear Jake's side of the conversation, but he looked relieved after he hung up the phone.
"Perfect timing," I told Jake, nodding towards a large plate of pancakes near the stove, and holding up two empty ones. "They're ready."
"Smells good," my kid brother praised.
They did, too. Not that I could take full credit for that. Unlike my grilled cheese sandwiches, I didn't have a secret recipe or ingredient for pancakes. You don't mess with something that's already a perfect breakfast or brunch food.
I made a little bow, eliciting a grin from Jake and a laugh from Aftran, and we stacked our plates full. There would be enough for seconds, too.
"What time are we heading over?" I asked between bites.
"4:00," Jake answered, talking with his mouth full. He swallowed. "That okay?"
"Sure. And I'll pick her up around 10 tomorrow?" I confirmed.
"I didn't ask, but probably?" Jake guessed.
I took another bite, unworried. "No problem. We can ask later today or call tomorrow morning."
Once the pancakes were gone and the dishes were clean, I spent the next hour doing homework, while I still had Aftran to help me. I didn't necessarily need her help anymore, but there was no denying that I got everything done a lot faster with her there. Studying, too. When she was in my head when I reviewed for a test, it was always easier to remember the material.
Jake called Cassie, and while I didn't exactly eavesdrop, I didn't move my homework into another room. From Jake's side of the conversation, it sounded like they were still on speaking terms, and they'd talk more later.
A little before 4, I drove over to Cassie's.
"Do you need to talk more?" I asked as we pulled up onto her family's driveway.
"Yeah, she wants to talk face to face before she takes Aftran for the night," Jake answered. "You don't mind waiting in the car?"
"I don't mind," I said, honestly. "Let me know when you're finished."
I was sort of glad to have the extra time with my Yeerk. Not that we even needed to talk. Just her being there was enough. I'd never have felt this way a year ago, but back then, I still had Gariss, whose idea of entertainment was making me relive some of my worst memories. Even Temrash only did that when he was seriously ticked off or wanting to punish me.
Aftran had told me that what Gariss had done went past the lines of "host discipline" according to the empire. Had I told a few of the people in cages and their Yeerks had gone to the right people, it probably would have been enough to get him reprimanded, even banished to the pool for at least a year. Then again, I'd just have been reassigned to another Yeerk. Maybe a more decent one, but still a slave who, on a good day, would have been like 1% as good as Aftran was to me all the time. Anyway, Gariss was stuck in Erek's wiring, which was a pretty good punishment for what he'd done to me. Complete sensory deprivation and not even being able to move around in the Yeerk pool had to be just a little less awful than Kandrona starvation.
Aftran told me he deserved the latter.
I felt Aftran use gentle control, keeping my breathing steady, and wrapping me into a mental hug. I was still worried about Jake. Whatever he'd experienced over the last night had to have been awful. Especially after fighting the battle that he had the previous day. Seemed like the poor kid couldn't catch a break.
(He has you,) Aftran murmured, holding me closer.
(I know,) I said, nestling into the hug. (Just seems like we could be doing more.)
All three of us had gone back and forth about telling our parents. They weren't infested, but that didn't mean they couldn't become hosts. Although, Aftran had promised to do whatever she could to keep that from happening, and there was always the Chee and the Hork-Bajir valley. The former the better solution, probably. The bigger issue would be how to keep them from spilling the beans and acting normal and not insisting on becoming Animorphs, and probably wanting to take over the fighting, but having no experience.
We couldn't take that risk. Even I wasn't morph capable, although I sometimes questioned whether I'd be more useful fighting. But Jake would say no, that it wasn't worth me dying just to be able to kill a few more slugs. Since he was the leader, I didn't object. Much.
Jake came outside, and Aftran moved my body out of the car. Gentle control was always kind of weird, because even though I could still move on my own, Aftran was still doing everything for me. Not that it was bad, just a little strange.
Especially after being shoved into the corner of my mind for almost two years. Gentle control was like being placed in a small room, but the door was open for you to leave.
"You can come inside," Jake told us.
Aftran walked me into the barn, and I felt the familiar sense of loss at the knowledge that I'd be without her for over twelve hours. I could handle it, but I'd miss her. Still, it was good for us to spend some time apart, and I knew how much it meant to Cassie to spend time with our shared Yeerk.
Jake's hand brushed against hers, and she smiled, so clearly, all was good on that front. I was happy for my brother. Whatever he'd said to smooth things over with his kinda girlfriend, they seemed to be on good terms again. Besides, Aftran would be able to help Cassie with whatever residue guilt she had about killing Yeerks who were trying to kill them. Not the Peace Movement ones, either.
(You know I'll try,) Aftran laughed, reading my thoughts. (See you tomorrow, honey.)
(See you soon,) I answered, feeling a slight pang as she started to disconnect.
Then, the mind chatter and feelings that blended over to my mind was gone, and it was just me. It felt peaceful, but it also felt empty. If this war ever ended, I knew that Aftran would choose Cassie over me, so I hoped that there was another Yeerk out there who was just as decent, who would want someone who was still recovering.
Well, there were probably a lot of us. Maybe, even, people who swore they would never become Controllers again, only to find that they were too messed up to go at life alone.
The world was funny that way.
The End
Author's note:
I wrote this (minus some revisions) shortly after I wrote my fics in "The Alliance" universe. Thing is, I didn't want to skip from 31 (AU) to 41, because I had ideas for in-between fics.
However, I haven't written fics in this universe for some time, and this one was just staring at me. So, I'm posting it. If/when I go back and write the works in the 30's for the series, this doesn't exactly give away any spoilers, and if I DON'T write them for another couple of years, at least this one won't be staring at me until then.
Either way, I figure it's a win-win for my readers.
If you enjoyed it, please take a couple of minutes to leave some words of feedback!