Sledge Hammer!
Yippee Ki Yea … Cattle Rustler!
Opening credits
Location shot: Exterior of precinct building, early morning
DISSOLVE TO:
Interior precinct, medium shot of Doreau at her desk, writing notes on a case file.
TRUNK (O/S – normal tones)
Doreau, could I …
Medium shot of Captain Trunk, standing calmly in the doorway to his office, with his morning coffee.
TRUNK (continuing, pleasant normal tone)
… see you in my office, please?
Close up of an astonished Hammer.
HAMMER
Whoa?! Where were you last night? Usually it's me he calls in first thing in the morning.
DOREAU (equally puzzled, rising)
I spent a quiet evening reading, Sledge. No blaring TV. No gunfire. It's quite relaxing. You should try it sometime.
As she heads for Trunk's office, Hammer starts to feel left out. He stands quickly, and begins to follow.
HAMMER (drawing magnum)
There's no way I'm going to miss this – whatever this is.
Doreau enters Trunk's office. As Hammer approaches, too, Trunk bars his path.
TRUNK
Hammer! Put that thing away! This is a private conversation with Detective Doreau.
As Trunk closes the door, he stops part way for a parting shot.
TRUNK (continuing)
And you are not included.
DISSOLVE TO:
Interior of Trunk's office as Trunk closes the door, and silently hands Doreau a small package. Camera close up shows "Ear Plugs – One Pair". Trunk inserts earplugs while motioning for Doreau to follow suit.
Split screen: Right side shows Hammer trying to place his ear close enough to the door to hear what is going on. As other officers walk by, he tries to appear innocent, which only makes him look even guiltier. The left side shows inside the office where, once Trunk and Doreau have their earplugs in place, Trunk picks up a compressed air horn, holds it close to the door and triggers the sound.
HORN
WAAAAAAAAAAAA!
Startled, Hammer leaps away from the door, hands clamped over his ears, turning and dancing about as though in pain from the sudden loud noise. In the other side of the screen, Trunk calmly replaces the horn on the table, and removes his earplugs. Seeing this Doreau does the same. Return to single screen showing interior, Trunk's office.
TRUNK
That knucklehead thinks I don't know he listens at my door. I think that should keep him away for a while.
DOREAU (obviously curious)
What's this about Captain? Why the secrecy?
TRUNK (serious expression)
Doreau, I received this message from the County Sheriff in …
Trunk rifles through some papers on his desk, finding the one he needs
TRUNK (continuing)
… Big Timber, Montana this morning.
Doreau's expression is suddenly serious as well.
DOREAU (pale)
What message …?
TRUNK
So Sam Doreau would be…?
DOREAU (now impatient)
He's my father. What message?
TRUNK
Doreau, there's no easy way to say this. The Sheriff says Sam Doreau is missing, and he's trying to contact next of kin to see if anyone knows his …
Trunk consults the message, as though to ensure he gets the words correct.
TRUNK (continuing)
… "whereabouts" is how he puts it.
Stunned at this news, Doreau sits heavily into a chair by the desk, silent.
TRUNK
Doreau?
DOREAU
Sorry, Captain. I'm … I don't know where to begin.
TRUNK
Have you heard from him recently?
Doreau shakes her head, indicating "No".
DOREAU (explaining)
Dad wasn't happy when I decided on a career in law enforcement. We haven't exactly been on the best of terms since.
TRUNK
I'm sorry to hear that, Doreau. So you have no idea …?
DOREAU
Unfortunately, no. (beat) Captain, I'd like to request some personal leave.
TRUNK (sympathetic)
Take whatever time you need, Doreau. I'll work it out with the Chief.
Doreau stands.
DOREAU
Thanks, Captain. I'll clear up the paperwork on my desk today, and start my leave tomorrow, if that's all right?
TRUNK
Don't worry about the paperwork, Doreau, I'll enjoy watching Hammer suffer.
Doreau turns to leave, then pauses, considering something.
DOREAU (formal)
Captain, if I could, I'd like to request that Inspector Hammer accompany me.
TRUNK (incredulous)
Have you lost your mind, Doreau?
DOREAU
Actually, sir, he and my father are a lot alike. He might even fit in.
TRUNK
Fit in? We are talking about the same Hammer? The one who talks to his gun?
Doreau nods.
DOREAU
Are you familiar with Montana gun laws?
TRUNK
That bad? (beat) He's all yours, Doreau.
Trunk sits in his chair and leans back, reflective.
TRUNK (continuing)
It'll be like a vacation around here with that lunatic out of my hair.
FADE OUT.
FADE IN.
Hammer and Doreau on the highway approaching Big Timber, Montana. Doreau is driving the rental car. Camera shot shows lots of open space and mountains in the distance.
HAMMER (turning to look back)
Are you sure you know where you're going Doreau? I'm pretty sure we just passed the middle of nowhere.
DOREAU
Sledge, there used to be this kind of wide-open space everywhere.
HAMMER (dismissive)
PFFFT! The last sign of life was a squashed rodent in the other lane about 3 miles back.
Hammer pulls out his magnum, and closing his eyes, waves it randomly.
HAMMER (continuing)
Say, I'll bet I could fire my Amigo in any direction and not hit anything.
DOREAU (Concerned he might try)
Sledge, stop waving that thing in the car. Look, that's Big Timber just ahead.
HAMMER
Timber? I haven't seen kindling since we landed.
DISSOLVE TO:
Doreau parks in front of the Sweetgrass County Sheriff's Office. Hammer remains seated.
HAMMER (looking around)
Doreau, you really grew up here?
DOREAU
A few miles out of town actually, but yes, this is home, Sledge.
HAMMER
Well, now I understand why you think a night at home with a book is exciting.
DOREAU
Sledge …
A pickup truck drives by, and Hammer interrupts Doreau with a long appreciative wolf whistle.
HAMMER (wolf whistle)
Doreau, I take that back. Unless I'm mistaken, and I'm never wrong when it comes to guns, then that was a .405 Winchester 1895.
Hammer turns to Doreau, peering over his sunglasses, his eyes showing mixed awe and amazement.
HAMMER (continuing, excitedly)
Teddy Roosevelt carried a gun just like that. It would stop a charging buffalo – back when there were charging buffalo. (beat) Quick – follow that truck!
DOREAU
Sledge, we're here to check with the Sheriff about my father!
HAMMER
Right, right. Where's my head at? (beat) Look, your Dad's probably dead anyway, but we could still catch that truck.
DOREAU (Exits, slams car door)
Sledge – that was insensitive and cruel, even for you!
Doreau marches up the sidewalk to the station door, and disappears from sight without a backward glance. Hammer, still in the car, draws his Magnum.
HAMMER (to Gun)
Was it something I said?
DISOLVE TO:
Interior of a small town police station. Doreau enters through the door and approaches the counter. An Officer sits behind the counter, filling out paperwork,
OFFICER (Hearing door and footsteps)
Be with you in a minute.
DOREAU (looking around the office familiarly)
Take your time.
The sound of her voice seems familiar to the Officer, who looks up.
OFFICER (startled recognition)
Dori? Dori Doreau?
The Officer puts down his pen, stands and crosses to the counter.
OFFICER (continues)
I'll be! Last I heard you were making a name for yourself in the big city.
Doreau searches his face, and then his ID badge before recognition sets in.
DOREAU
Sheriff Logan. The last time I saw you, you were Mike's deputy.
Doreau extends her hand; she and Sheriff Logan shake hands.
DOREAU
Congratulations.
SHERIFF LOGAN (a bit self conscious)
Yeah, well, old Mike took off his badge about a year ago. Left some big shoes to fill. Look, Dori, call me Bill. I sure am sorry about your father. Guess that's why you're here?
DOREAU (sighs)
Unfortunately, yes. What can you tell me?
At this point, Hammer enters the station. Noting the conversation, and uncertain how Doreau will feel about his presence, he walks along the perimeter of the room, looking away from her.
SHERIFF LOGAN
Let me see what this tourist needs, and then we can talk in private.
DOREAU (acknowledging Hammer's presence)
It's OK, Bill. This is my partner from San Francisco, Inspector Sledge Hammer.
She waves Hammer over and Sheriff Logan greets him, shaking hands. He looks at Doreau, uncertain of whether to continue their conversation.
DOREAU
He's my partner, Bill. No secrets.
SHERIFF LOGAN (a bit sceptical)
If you say so Dori. (beat) Not much to tell though. We've had some rustling going on the past few months. Your Dad's herd was hit last week; about 15 head taken.
Sheriff Logan shakes his head.
SHERIFF LOGAN (continuing, more freely)
You know your old man, Dori. He wasn't about to take that lyin' down. Started talkin' about trackin' the varmints himself …
DOREAU
Dad was never one to wait around …
SHERIFF LOGAN
An' he hasn't changed a bit. Anyway, it's just me an' a couple o' deputies for the whole county. I told him I'd look into it as soon as I could. No one's seen him since last week. So unless he's gone on vacation …
Sheriff Logan trails off, looking to Doreau, who chuckles as though this is funny.
DOREAU (looking at Hammer)
Dad's the kind who might think tracking rustlers was a vacation.
Doreau turns serious.
DOREAU
So you think …?
SHERIFF LOGAN
You're a Police Officer, Dori, so you know how it goes. Until somebody files a missing persons report, it's not official, but, yeah, I think he's gone off the reservation.
DOREAU
Sheriff, if you don't mind, my partner and I would like to go out and take a look around for ourselves.
SHERIFF LOGAN (shrugs, helpless)
Dori, he's your old man and it's your home, so if you want to drive out to the ranch, I can't stop you.
DOREAU
But?
SHERIFF LOGAN
But, you're a little outside your jurisdiction. And … well …you're a woman. Things might have changed in the big city, but out here – enforcing the law is still man's work. Why not just file the report, an' let me handle it …
Doreau is about to open her mouth to respond, when Hammer interrupts.
HAMMER (interrupting)
Look, Marshall Dillon, I'm a man and this …
Hammer pulls his magnum from inside his jacket.
HAMMER (continues)
… is all the jurisdiction I need! If my partner has questions – somebody better have answers.
Sledge fires a single shot into the ceiling, for emphasis
DOREAU
Sledge! You can't do that! This isn't Captain Trunk's office …
Sheriff Logan now has one hand on his gun, and is reaching for Hammer's gun with the other. Hammer misinterprets this, grabs the Sheriff's arm, pulling the protesting man across the counter and flipping him onto his back on the floor.
SHERIFF LOGAN (lying on floor)
Dori, he's your partner, so I'll pretend like that didn't happen. But if he's still in here when I get up, I'll lock him up and lose the paperwork for five years …
Doreau takes a firm grip on her partner's arm and steers him toward the door, while trying to calm Sheriff Logan
DOREAU (to Sheriff Logan)
Sorry, Bill … Sheriff Logan. It won't happen again …
DOREAU (continues, to Hammer)
Come on, Sledge. This isn't San Francisco. He's serious.
DISSOLVE TO:
Hammer and Doreau return to the rental car. Hammer leans against the car.
HAMMER (admiring tones)
Doreau, now there was a real cop. I mean the best I've ever managed with Trunk was losing paperwork for five weeks. That guy was talking years. Do you suppose we could get Majoy sent out for some remedial training …
As Hammer rambles on admiringly, the camera cuts to Doreau, who rolls her eyes and gets into the car.
DISSOLVE TO:
Doreau's car slows to turn off a two-lane roadway and through a solidly built stone and log gateway. A trail of dust marks their progress along a narrow lane leading to rustic but well maintained rural homestead. The car pulls to a stop in front of the house, which features an open veranda/porch along the front. Doreau and Hammer exit the vehicle. Doreau hesitates, looking around as though taking in something familiar, before walking up a couple of steps to the front door. She almost knocks at the door, before turning the knob and pulling it open. Hammer follows her inside.
DISSOLVE TO:
Hammer and Doreau stand in the entryway of a good-sized bungalow. Directly ahead is a living area with stone fireplace. To their left is a kitchen area and a bit further back, a dining area. To their right a hallway leads to bedrooms.
DOREAU
Hello! Is anyone here?
Hammer and Doreau walk through the living area of the house, observing. They find a coffee cup in the sink and a few papers beside an armchair, but no signs of a struggle. Doreau does find some of her father's papers in a desk. They conclude their search inside, and head into the yard and outbuildings. Hammer is out of his element, uncertain what belongs and what doesn't.
HAMMER
Doreau, we're clueless …
DOREAU
Speak for yourself, Sledge.
HAMMER
No, I'm serious. There's no murder scene, there's no body, not even one of those chalk outlines. And Norman's not here with all that coroner-babble he does, either. We're clueless.
Hammer scuffs at the dirt with his shoe. As he does, Hammer notices some marks in the dust and kneels for a closer look.
HAMMER (forming a "theory")
I think your dad was attacked out here in the yard. He must have left these marks here as a clue.
Puzzled, Doreau walks in his direction, as Hammer twists his head as though trying to make sense of something. Hammer indicates some marks in the dirt.
HAMMER
Doreau, I can't make any sense out of these.
Doreau examines the marks, shaking her head.
DOREAU
Hammer, those are just chicken scratches.
HAMMER
That's what I'm trying to say – this is terrible handwriting, even if it was a dying message …
DOREAU
No, Sledge. Those are actual chicken scratches.
Doreau points to a group of chickens wandering loose, occasionally scratching at the ground in their search for food.
HAMMER
I knew that.
Doreau enters the barn, but after taking a quick look inside, Hammer decides not to follow. Drawing his magnum, he seeks advice.
HAMMER (to gun)
Look, I can't think standing up.
As the camera pans around, there are no chairs, benches, not even a bale of hay suggesting a place to sit. Hammer listens intently.
HAMMER
What about the top of that fence?
Hammer indicates a sturdy wooden fence. Obviously there is some dissent from his gun.
HAMMER (indignant)
I have an excellent sense of balance.
Hammer climbs to the top rail, turns to face outward and then holsters his gun.
HAMMER (just before holstering gun)
See? It's not hard at all.
As Hammer remains seated on the fence, a horse comes around the barn, and spots him. Camera close-up of the horse reveals a curious animal, ears working back and forth as it considers the stranger before it. Quietly it approaches from behind. Nearing Hammer, the horse appears to checking his back pockets for possible treats, then whinnies loudly and bobs his head (perhaps nudging Hammer in the process). With a startled exclamation, Hammer falls face first into the yard.
HAMMER
Aaaahhhhh!
Doreau comes running out of the barn, her firearm drawn.
DOREAU (seeing Hammer)
Sledge! SLEDGE! Are you okay?
HAMMER (face down, muffled)
Doreau, draw a line around me; I think I'm a clue.
DOREAU (helping him up instead)
A clue to what, Sledge?
Hammer dusts himself off, and looks accusingly at the horse, now innocently hanging his head over the fence.
HAMMER (indicating horse)
He killed your father, and the chickens covered his tracks – just like in that Animal Farm book!
DOREAU (hands on hips)
Sledge … If that's what happened, then where is the body?
HAMMER
They buried it? Behind the barn?
DOREAU (sarcasm, disbelief)
So … You're saying animals got shovels out of the tool shed, dug a hole behind the barn, buried my father in it, and then put the tools back? After they killed him?
HAMMER
When you put it that way …
At that moment, a car turns off the main road and approaches. A marked police car pulls up in the yard, and one of Sheriff Logan's deputies, Bert, emerges.
BERT
Dori Doreau! It is you. I couldn't believe my ears when Sheriff Logan said the prettiest girl to ever leave Big Timber was back in town.
Bert strides across to Doreau (ignoring Hammer) and embraces her like an old friend. Doreau returns the embrace, but not as enthusiastically.
Bert steps back, examining Doreau head to toe. Doreau appears somewhat self conscious at the obvious appraisal and is also acutely aware of Hammer's questioning stare.
DOREAU
Bert, this is my partner, Inspector Sledge Hammer from San Francisco. Sledge this is Bert.
Bert only glances momentarily at Hammer before again giving Doreau his full attention. His expression is surprised, bordering on incredulous.
BERT (misinterprets "partner")
You and this city slicker? Hitched?
HAMMER (puzzled)
"Hitched?"
DOREAU
No Bert. We work together – with the San Francisco police department.
BERT (apparently dismissing Hammer)
Can I buy you dinner tonight then? The two of us …
Bert emphasises "two of us", clearly excluding Hammer from the invitation.
BERT (continues)
… have a lot to catch up on.
DOREAU (flattered, but business first)
Could I take a rain cheque? I'm really here to find out what happened to my father.
HAMMER
Yeah. You wouldn't have bought him dinner – before he disappeared?
BERT (still ignores Hammer)
I'm sure your father's just fine, Dori. Probably just took a few days off. Huntin' most likely.
DOREAU (perplexed)
Sheriff Logan said Dad was upset about his cattle disappearing.
BERT (minimizing the issue)
You remember what it's like out here Dori. It's a big place. Everyone loses a couple o' cows, now and again. I was out just last week an' told Sam we'd look into it. He seemed satisfied to let us do our job.
HAMMER (interrupting again)
So you were the last one to see him alive?
DOREAU
Sledge! Bert is a cop. And an old friend.
DOREAU (continues, to Bert)
Sorry. My partner suspects everyone is a criminal.
BERT
The only thing criminal around here is his fashion sense!
Camera angle on Hammer, emphasising clashing wardrobe.
Doreau's attention is drawn to the corral and the single horse behind Hammer.
DOREAU (continuing)
Bert, did you happen to notice if there was another horse in that corral when you were here?
Bert turns to follow Doreau's gaze, and his brow furrows, as if trying to recall.
BERT (shakes head)
Can't say for sure, Dori, but I don't think so.
Bert turns back to her. He checks his watch.
BERT (continues)
I should get back to the office, Dori. If you change your mind about dinner …
DOREAU
Bert, there is something you could do.
BERT (hopeful)
Sure …
Doreau hunts in her purse for a slip of paper and scrawls a quick list.
DOREAU (continuing)
I'd like to take a ride around the place tomorrow, but there are a few things I need. It would be a big favour if you could have the general store send this out tomorrow morning.
Doreau finishes the list, handing it to Bert, who gives it a quick scan.
BERT (taps paper with finger)
This looks like you plan to be out a while.
DOREAU
Like you said, Bert, it's a big place. If Dad got thrown …
Doreau leaves the thought hanging, but is clearly concerned.
BERT
I'll drop it by myself. See you tomorrow, Dori.
Bert leans in as if to kiss Doreau, who offers only a cheek. Disappointed, Bert retreats to his cruiser, and with a wave out the window, heads back down the lane.
HAMMER
Who was that, Hoss Cartwright?
Doreau seems distracted by something, and walks toward the corral as she responds to Hammer.
DOREAU
Hammer! I told you, his name is Bert. He had, kind of, well – a crush – on me – back in high school. In fact, we went to the prom together. Now, if we can just focus on Dad …?
HAMMER
Prom Night? Why would you date an axe murderer, Doreau? Talk about a nightmare!
Doreau stops and regards Hammer with curiosity.
DOREAU
Sledge, I didn't date an axe murder. Are you j…?
HAMMER (interrupts)
Don't even say it, Doreau. Pfft!
Doreau has reached the corral fence, and is absently rubbing the appreciative horse's neck.
DOREAU (absently, addressing horse)
Dad wouldn't leave a horse by itself. So I wonder why you're …?
She turns abruptly to Hammer.
DOREAU (sweeping gesture)
Dad is out there … somewhere … Sledge.
Without waiting for a response from Hammer, she heads back toward the house, determination in her face and stride.
DOREAU (continues)
There must be something …
Doreau's voice fades as she disappears into the house.
FADE OUT.
FADE IN
Exterior view, next morning. Silhouette view of ranch house against the first reddish hint of dawn in the eastern sky. Cut to interior view. Doreau is now dressed for riding, seated at her father's desk with a lamp on for light as she sifts through some papers. Hammer appears, stretching and yawning, still in pyjamas and unshaven.
HAMMER (peevish)
Do you have to rustle those papers so loudly?
Doreau continues focused on the papers.
DOREAU (pointed emphasis)
One of us needs to do a little investigating.
HAMMER (chastised)
So, did you find anything?
DOREAU
I'm not sure, Sledge. These look like copies of shipping manifests for cattle but this isn't a brand that I recognize.
HAMMER
I didn't know there was more than one brand of cow …
DOREAU (pointing to slips)
Not a brand of cow, Sledge – a brand on a cow. It's for identification. This isn't Dad's brand.
HAMMER
Your Dad was shipping someone else's cows?
Doreau shakes her head and rolls her eyes.
DOREAU
These look like copies, not originals. I wonder where dad got them?
At that moment the sound of a vehicle is heard arriving. Doreau heads for the door, folding the papers and shoving them in her pocket. Checking outside she sees Bert in his patrol car.
DOREAU
Sledge, wait inside. I need a word with Bert, in private.
As she heads outside, she closes the door firmly behind her. Hammer confides to his magnum.
HAMMER
The last time she treated us like this was when she fell for that Lionel Dashhound fellow
Hammer appears to listen.
HAMMER
Yeah, I meant "Dishpan". (listens again) Whatever.
Hammer stabs his gun back into its holster.
DISSOLVE TO:
Doreau and Bert as Bert unloads a couple of bags of supplies from the car.
DOREAU
Thanks, Bert, I really appreciate this.
BERT (hopeful)
Enough to join me for dinner, tonight?
Doreau hesitates briefly, as though considering the invitation. She shakes her head.
DOREAU
Dad's out there Bert, I can feel it. I've got to find him.
Bert shakes his head in response.
BERT
You've been away a long time, Dori. You shouldn't be ridin' around these hills all alone …
DOREAU
I won't be alone … my partner is coming, too.
BERT (laughs openly)
That city boy? He ride side-saddle, or do you plan to rent him a buggy in town?
DOREAU (defending her partner)
Sledge might surprise you Bert.
Doreau pulls a sheaf of papers from her pocket.
DOREAU (continues)
Bert, do you have any idea where these came from?
Doreau unfolds the papers and hands them to Bert, who flips through them and then looks up questioningly
BERT (suspicious sounding)
Where did you find these?
DOREAU
They were in Dad's desk. Do you think … ?
BERT (interrupting)
If it was anyone except your Dad, I'd say it looks like they've been rustling cattle.
Bert flips through a couple more documents.
BERT (continues)
Look, I'm sorry, Dori, but I think the Sheriff needs to see these. It'd be best if you came with me.
DOREAU (firmly)
You can take those with you, Bert, but I'm going out to find my father. You tell the Sheriff if he needs me, he knows how to find me.
BERT (warning undercurrent)
You're just as headstrong as your father, Dori. It'll get you trouble, some day, too.
Bert gets back in his car, spinning his wheels a bit in the dirt as he leaves. Doreau's eyes follow the car up the driveway, and then she turns back towards the house, a perplexed expression on her face.
DISSOLVE TO:
Doreau and Hammer, each mounted on a horse, just outside the coral. Doreau confidently urges her mount forward into a canter, heading into an open field. Hammer and his mount do not move. After riding perhaps 100 yards, Doreau realizes she is alone and reins her horse to a stop, turning him so that they are facing back towards Hammer.
DOREAU (calling back to Hammer)
Come on, Sledge. We don't have all day.
HAMMER (uncertain)
I'm really not sure this is a great idea, Doreau. I don't think I'm a yippee ki yay kind of guy ...
DOREAU (insistent)
Come on, Sledge. I know you've ridden before.
Hammer takes a deep breath, and then duplicates his trick riding from "Death of a Few Salesmen". As he catches up to DOREAU, he reins his horse to a stop.
DOREAU (stunned)
I see what you mean.
HAMMER
See, I can keep that up for a couple of laps around the tent, but then …
DOREAU
You know, you could just sit in the saddle.
HAMMER (incredulous)
Sure, Doreau. At the Carnival all the parents made their kids ride just like that.
DOREAU
So pretend you're a child, Sledge.
Hammer's looks skeptically over his sunglasses at Doreau. As she rides off, Hammer follows, trying to sit still in the saddle. It is difficult.
DISSOLVE TO:
Hammer and Doreau, riding in single file across open grassland.
HAMMER (plaintive)
Are we there yet?
Close up of Doreau rolling her eyes.
DISSOLVE TO:
Open field with one medium sized bush in sight. Doreau has stopped, holding the reins of Hammer's horse as Hammer walks toward the bush.
DOREAU (calls to Hammer)
You know, you could have gone before we left home.
DISSOLVE TO:
Hammer and Doreau have reached a fence marking the extent of the Doreau Ranch. Trampled grass leads up to the fence, and continues uninterrupted on the other side. Both Hammer and Doreau dismount. Doreau examines the grass more closely.
DOREAU
I don't understand. The fence is still up, but it looks like the cattle were driven right through…?
HAMMER (leans against post with one hand)
OW!
Hammer is standing next to the fence, shaking his hand as though in pain. Camera close up shows his thumb is bleeding from a small scratch.
DOREAU
Careful, Sledge. The fence is barbed wire. It's a little sharp.
HAMMER (to himself)
Women. Always stating the obvious!
Doreau walks over to where Hammer is standing, curious. She examines the post more closely.
DOREAU (understanding)
Sledge! This wire has been cut and then stapled back up. See?
As Doreau points, a close-up reveals cut wire ends, each stapled to the post to look like continuous wire.
DOREAU (continuing)
Once this grass comes back, you would ride ten feet from this and not see it.
Doreau turns back to the trampled trail, kneeling to examine the track much more critically.
DOREAU (excited)
Sledge, look at this!
HAMMER (disbelieving)
What? More chicken scratches?
DOREAU
The horses on our ranch all have shoes …
HAMMER
… and little hats and gloves, too?
Doreau walks over to her horse, leans over and lifts one front leg to show Hammer the metal shoe.
DOREAU
Horseshoes, Sledge – like this!
HAMMER
Oh, those! For good luck, right?
DOREAU (pointing to ground)
These tracks (indicates) are made by cattle. But it looks like there were also two horses without shoes with them – probably so their tracks wouldn't stand out. But there's one set (indicates a different spot) with shoes just like these (indicates her horse again, then releases foot). I think Dad was here – and I think he was following someone!
As Doreau remounts, DISSOLVE TO:
Along the edge of a small creek, edged by bushes, Doreau reins her horse to a stop. She glances around, noting the lowering sun.
DOREAU
It's getting late, Sledge. I think we should make camp.
HAMMER
Camp? Here? With what?
Doreau smiles enigmatically and dismounts.
DOREAU
I thought you were raised around a carnival. Didn't you ever have to camp out?
HAMMER
Sure, but we had supplies … and our tents … and the trucks.
DOREAU (noting clear sky)
I don't think we'll need a tent, but I did bring a few supplies.
Doreau dismounts and looks at Hammer expectantly.
DOREAU (continuing)
Come on. You can start the fire.
Doreau begins loosening bedrolls and saddlebags from the horses. Hammer also dismounts and after tying his horse to a bush in imitation of Doreau, begins collecting rocks and arranging them in a ring.
DISSOLVE TO:
Hammer and Doreau sitting around a fire as the sun begins to set.
HAMMER
Doreau, your "home cooking" tastes a lot like army rations.
DOREAU
Sledge, this is freeze dried camp rations, not a gourmet dinner. Trust me, I can do better.
Doreau reaches for the coffee pot.
DOREAU
Are you sure you don't want any?
HAMMER
It would just keep me awake, remembering dinner. You finish it.
Doreau empties the last of the pot into her cup, and then begins pouring water on the fire.
HAMMER (startled)
Whoa, it's already getting cold out here – we're going to need that tonight.
DOREAU (continues extinguishing fire)
This fire can be seen for miles in the dark, Sledge. We can't take a chance that the rustlers will spot us before we find them.
Doreau begins undoing her bedroll, laying it out close to the remaining embers. She motions to Hammer's bedroll.
DOREAU (continuing)
You should turn in now, too, while it's still warm.
Hammer begins copying Doreau on the opposite side of the fire ring. As he pulls a blanket around himself, he removes his magnum from its holster, and places it next to himself. He then takes a small towel and uses it to cover Gun right up to the grips. He then settles down to sleep.
HAMMER
Good night, Amigo.
DOREAU (sounding sleepy)
Good night, Sledge.
HAMMER (as afterthought)
Yeah, you too, Doreau.
DISSOLVE TO:
Close up of Hammer, face barely visible in the darkness. His eyes open suddenly, but he remains still as though listening intently. Stealthily, one hand comes out from beneath the blankets, and grasps his Amigo, pulling it closer.
HAMMER (stage whisper)
Yeah, I heard it, too.
Brief silence, as once again Hammer appears to listen intently.
HAMMER (still in a whisper)
It's Doreau, I think.
Hammer throws back his blanket, puts on his sunglasses and pulls a flashlight from inside his jacket, shining the light in Doreau's direction. Camera angle shows Doreau with blankets thrown off, huddled in a near foetal position, shivering in the cold temperature.
DOREAU (without looking)
T-t-turn off the light, S-sledge, someone m-might s-see us!
Hammer shades the light with his jacket, but leaves it on, taking a step closer.
HAMMER
Doreau, those blankets work better if you stay under them.
DOREAU (sibilant, confused)
I'm f-f-fine! I'll w-warm up in a … in a … m-minute. I j-just need to b-be c-closer to th-the fire.
Doreau wriggles closer to the dead fire and further out of her blankets; holding her hands over her mouth and blowing on them as though trying to warm them up. Hammer consults his Amigo.
HAMMER (to Gun)
Yeah she looks cold to me, too. Maybe if we tuck her in …
Hammer steps over to Doreau, and then pulls the blankets over her shivering form. She immediately tosses them off. Momentarily she appears agitated and confused.
DOREAU (flailing arm)
Those blankets are freezing! Keep them away from me!
Again, she resumes a foetal position, folding her arms across her chest in an effort to retain heat. Hammer appears to be listening again.
HAMMER
What do you mean …?
Hammer, apparently interrupted, trails off.
HAMMER (to Gun)
I don't see how that will help, but go ahead …
With exaggerated care Hammer kneels, placing Gun close to Doreau. He rises, partially, stopping as though he has been addressed by Gun again.
HAMMER (continuing, to Gun)
Me?! What makes you think I could … ?
Hammer listens briefly.
HAMMER (nodding understanding)
Warm blooded …?
FADE OUT
FADE IN
The sun peeks over the horizon revealing Doreau and Hammer huddled together next to a cold fire pit. Doreau stirs, stretching one arm from beneath blankets. Her hand encounters … something (Hammer). Eyes still closed, her fingers begin to trace an outline, and suddenly she realizes she is touching … someone. Her eyes snap open and …
DOREAU
(SCREAMS)
Hammer's eyes snap open, and startled he leaps from under the blankets.
HAMMER
What? How?
Hammer reaches to his holster for Gun and finds nothing. He drops to his knees, searching frantically, until finally pulling his magnum from beneath the blankets.
HAMMER (first to Gun)
See? What did I tell you?
HAMMER (continuing, to Doreau, apologetic)
It was only my gun, Doreau … it must have slipped out in the night …
Doreau sits bolt upright; clutching blankets high around her neck.
DOREAU (shocked)
Sledge! How could you …?
HAMMER (still defensive)
Look, it was Gun's idea …
Doreau only looks at him blankly, confused.
HAMMER (continuing)
You were cold. And acting confused …
Doreau continues to regard Hammer blankly. She raises one hand to her forehead, as though confused.
HAMMER
Look, enough hypothermia.
DOREAU (startled, looking up)
Hypothermia?
HAMMER
Look, Doreau, I know hypothermia when I see it. I even got a second opinion …
Hammer pulls his magnum, indicating it as his "source", and then puts it away again, looking guilty of something.
DOREAU (muttered)
I'm surprised you can even pronounce it.
Doreau tries to stand, but is unsteady, and weak. She sits down hard, wincing as she does. She holds her hands against her face, covering her eyes.
DOREAU (obviously woozy)
Oh!
HAMMER
You really don't remember?
DOREAU (peering through fingers)
It's … it's … like a dream, but … I do remember cold. Really, really cold. I kept trying to get away, but it followed me. (beat) That makes no sense …
Doreau shakes her head as if to clear cobwebs.
HAMMER
See, that's why I don't drink coffee just before bed.
Doreau is suddenly more alert.
DOREAU
The coffee!? Sledge, I think it was the coffee.
HAMMER
Doreau, your coffee wasn't that bad.
DOREAU
No. Don't you see? Somebody must have put something in the coffee. If you had drunk it too … Sledge, it would look like we both died from exposure. No one would suspect anything.
Doreau searches for and finds the coffee, opens the container, and sniffs cautiously.
DOREAU
I don't smell anything.
Doreau hands the package to Hammer who examines it suspiciously.
HAMMER
What were you expecting?
DOREAU
I don't know. Probably nothing. If it was that obvious I'd have noticed something wrong when it was brewing. Still, if we preserve a sample maybe Norman can analyze it later.
Doreau takes the package from Hammer, closes it tightly, and tucks it safely away in one of the packs.
HAMMER (brightening)
That maggot Bert brought these supplies out …
DOREAU (flash of anger)
That sounds a lot like jealousy, Sledge.
HAMMER
Pfft! Me?
DOREAU (sense of urgency)
Forget it, Sledge. We need to get moving.
HAMMER (protesting the early hour)
Without breakfast? Not even Trunk would expect me at work before breakfast.
Without a response, Doreau begin breaking camp. Reluctantly, Hammer pitches in.
DISSOLVE TO:
Still early morning. Hammer and Doreau, lying prone at the top of a steep bank, overlooking a narrow valley. Below is a corral with a number of cattle inside, as well as a couple of small outbuildings.
DOREAU (observing through binoculars)
Those look like they could be from Dad's herd all right.
She continues to scan the scene, and reaches out to grab Hammer's arm.
DOREAU (continuing)
Yes! That's definitely Dad's horse, right there!
HAMMER (still missing breakfast)
Good. Call the SPCA, and we can go get breakfast.
DOREAU
Sledge! We came here to find my father. He rode here, on that horse!
HAMMER
Okay, let's go down and find him. Maybe he'd like breakfast, too.
As Hammer starts to rise, Doreau grabs desperately at his arm, pulling him back down.
DOREAU
NO! Sledge – we don't know where Dad is or even how many of them there are down there. What if they try to use him as a hostage?
HAMMER
You know how I feel about negotiating with hostage takers Doreau.
DOREAU
Exactly! I want Dad alive Sledge!
While this discussion is happening, a diesel engine is heard in the background, faintly but growing louder. Finally, a large semi-trailer cattle truck comes into view, engine labouring in low gear. Hiss of air brakes being applied as the truck halts, the door opens and the driver steps down. The door to one of the outbuildings opens, and another man comes out – some animated discussion ensues. The driver gets back into the truck, and begins maneuvering towards a cattle chute, for loading. The other man calls loudly and several others come outside and begin making preparations to load the cattle. In total there are eight to a dozen individuals, all carrying guns in holsters.
Doreau pushes back from the edge. Hammer follows her lead reluctantly.
DOREAU
Sledge, we need to get the Sheriff out here.
HAMMER
Doreau, my Amigo and I can keep those range rodents occupied while you rescue your Dad. Then there will be four of us!
DOREAU
What do you expect Dad to do – throw rocks?
HAMMER
Only if he can throw really, really well Doreau. Bullets are usually more effective.
DOREAU
Do you think they let him keep a gun Sledge?
Hammer pauses in the face of this reasoning. Doreau presses her advantage. She rises and hurries toward her horse, with Hammer following.
DOREAU (unties horse)
Let me ride back to town and get help. The Sheriff can set up roadblocks so they can't escape. We'll have them surrounded and outnumbered. They'll probably surrender without a fight.
HAMMER
See, Doreau? Missing breakfast puts you in a gloomy mood, too.
Doreau rolls her eyes.
DOREAU (mounts horse)
Sledge just keep an eye on these guys. Promise me you won't do anything stupid.
HAMMER
Doreau, when have I ever done anything stupid?
As Doreau turns her horse, the camera does a brief close up.
DOREAU (to Hammer)
Just don't shoot anyone until I get back.
Doreau urges her horse into a swift gallop.
DISSOLVE TO:
Hammer is back overlooking the valley scene. Rustlers are moving about, apparently without great urgency. A pickup truck appears and approaches quickly, along the same trail as the cattle truck earlier. It pulls to a stop, and Bert gets out. Hammer draws his magnum.
HAMMER (to Gun)
That yoghurt-sucking ringworm! I wouldn't want to be him when Doreau finds out.
Hammer's face twists and he winces involuntarily at the thought of his partner's wrath.
Bert immediately finds one of his men, and begins issuing orders. The level of activity picks up, as though Bert's news has lent greater urgency to their work.
HANMER (again to Gun)
Is it just me, or do those worker bees look busier?
Hammer again eases back from the edge, and starts moving toward a bushy thicket.
HAMMER
Of course I heard her. She said, "Don't do anything stupid".
Hammer stops as though interrupted, and listens briefly
HAMMER (continues)
This isn't stupid. This is rescuing her father.
Pauses again.
HAMMER (animated)
Yeah, look it's my decision, okay? I'll be happy to take the credit.
Another pause.
HAMMER
No you can't wait here. We're partners. Amigos. Compadres. We do things together. Including saving the dad.
Hammer continues moving the steepening slope.
DISSOLVE TO:
View from the back of the small cabin. A crashing sound is heard from up the hill, and Hammer's voice. Hammer appears, rolling through a bush, and tumbling downhill, but still holding his Amigo.
HAMMER (to no one)
Oww! Let go of me! STOP!
He rolls to a stop, and jumps quickly to his feet.
HAMMER (argumentative, to Amigo)
I said right, YOU went left.
He "stealthily" approaches the cabin, and peers through a small window.
HAMMER (triumphantly)
Look, there he is.
Inside the cabin, Sam Doreau is gagged and tied to a chair in the middle of the room. A small table is against one wall, and various items of ranching gear are on the floor, or hung from the walls.
HAMMER
See how easy this is? Now – all we have to do is get him out.
Hammer walks around to the cabin door. Trying the handle, he finds it locked. Taking a direct approach, he draws his magnum and shoots the locked door open, without regard to the obvious noise. Walking into the room, Hammer heads straight toward Sam. Sam Doreau appears startled and then tries to speak, but only muffled noises are heard.
HAMMER (to gun)
It's Doreau's father alright. See the family resemblance? Trying to talk even with that gag in his mouth.
Sam appears even more agitated.
HAMMER (continuing)
Probably trying to thank us for saving his life.
Hammer begins untying the gag, which Sam spits out as soon as it begins to loosen.
SAM
Who are you talking to?
HAMMER (looking embarrassed)
No one.
As he speaks, Hammer holsters his gun, trying not to draw attention to it, and seeming even more obvious in the process.
HAMMER (gesturing generally)
Look, I'm Inspector Sledge Hammer, and I'm here to rescue you.
SAM (through clenched teeth)
Rescue me? City Boy, you are lost, stupid, or both! That gunshot is sure to bring company back here pronto. You'll get us both …
HAMMER (interrupts)
Pfft! They're all too busy out there to notice one little gun shot. Look, I can rescue you now, or you can wait for Doreau to get back with the Sheriff …
Sam is flabbergasted. Hammer has his back to the door. While he is speaking, it swings open and one by one, Bert and several members of his gang file in, with guns drawn. They line up facing Hammer and Sam. Hammer does not notice.
BERT
You're right, none of us heard anything. Right, boys?
Bert's gang laughs uproariously, as Hammer turns around. Before he can turn completely, Bert jerks the gun from Hammer's hand. Hammer glares, and looks prepared to take everyone on, but two of them restrain him while two others grab another chair, and some rope and begin tying Hammer up. Bert faces them both, admiring Hammer's gun.
BERT
Don't this just get better an' better.
Hammer glares at Bert, and struggles against the ropes, to no avail.
HAMMER (growls)
I told Doreau you were no good. Now you've given me proof!
BERT
I think that should just stay our little secret, don't you? And between you and me, it's a secret you'll take to your grave.
Bert's attention goes to Sam.
BERT
Now we know where your nosey daughter is, and just how long we have to get those cows loaded up an' out of here.
Bert pauses a moment for the news to sink in.
BERT (continues)
With the two of you out of the way, what do you suppose little Dori will do with the ranch? Her being a city girl now?
BERT (to gang)
She might have to sell it off … to me!
Bert walks around behind Sam and Hammer. He leans between the two of them.
BERT
Of course, if I get really lucky, she'll marry me. I'll get the girl for nothin' and the ranch for free!
Bert and his gang again have a huge laugh at this joke. Bert walks away admiring Hammer's gun appreciatively. He holds it up to the light, and runs a dirty, sweaty hand along the barrel, handling it almost as gently as Hammer might. Hammer gets increasingly upset.
HAMMER
Hey, hands off, pervert!
Bert turns to Hammer.
BERT
You're probably right, I shouldn't get too attached. It's just a little too distinctive. I suppose I'll have to make it disappear along with the two of you.
Bert casually tosses Hammer's gun on the table, next to a rifle obviously taken from Sam, then heads outside with his gang to tend to the cattle.
BERT (continues)
Come on boys, we can deal with them after we get our cows loaded.
The door closes.
SAM (resigned)
Well, I suppose we might as well pass the time getting' to know each other before they kill us both. (beat) How exactly do you know Dori?
HAMMER (looking around room)
Doreau? She's my partner. We've been together for two years.
Sam gives a Hammer a totally baffled stare.
HAMMER (continuing, tries to clarify)
On the police force. In San Francisco?
Sam continues to look baffled.
HAMMER (continuing further)
Anyway, she dragged me out here …
Hammer uses his head and eyes to indicate "here"
HAMMER
… to the middle of nowhere to look for you.
SAM
You and Dori have been together two years? Exactly what are your intentions?
HAMMER (twisting, trying to untie himself)
My intention is untie myself, get my gun back, arrest that round worm …
Sam begins laughing, softly but at first, but louder as Hammer continues.
HAMMER (continues)
… and then march a certain dirty Bert back into town so he can apologise to Doreau for making a fool of her.
SAM
I'll say this, you got big dreams for a man tied to a chair.
Hammer focuses on Sam, noting he is making no move to escape.
HAMMER (glaring)
What are your intentions?
SAM
My intentions? I'm looking out for my daughter's best interests. Like any good father.
Sam considers a moment as Hammer continues to struggle with his knots.
Sam shakes his head.
SAM (continues)
You won't get that knot loose, son. I taught those boys everything they know about knots while they were just knee high.
Hammer begins rocking his chair. All indications are that it is solid and sturdy.
HAMMER (through gritted teeth)
Don't you know no good deed goes unpunished?
SAM
You really should be more polite to a girl's father, son. Impertinent suitors have a way of turning up with their behinds full of rock salt in these parts.
Hammer rocks more violently, and the chair moves a short distance toward the table.
HAMMER
Suitor? Oh, you mean tailor? Doreau buys her clothes off the rack. And I'm Jack's "son", not yours, anyway.
Hammer rocks violently, side to side this time, almost tipping over.
SAM
I admire your determination, son, but even if you get over to that table you still can't reach your gun. And you'd have to be some sort of magician to shoot it with your hands tied behind your back.
Hammer twists and throws himself to one side, pulling the chair over completely this time and crashing on one side.
HAMMER
I was raised in a Carnival, by the greatest sharpshooter anywhere. He gave me that gun and no dirty cop touches it like that and gets away.
As he speaks, Hammer begins to scrabble his way along the floor towards the table, dragging the chair.
SAM (accusing tone)
You ever touch my little girl like that?
Hammer continues struggling to move the chair closer to the table.
HAMMER (sputtering)
Doreau? ME? Look, there's no way … she's my partner. Besides, she'd break my fingers, and then how would I fire my gun?
SAM (speculative)
You one of those guys who don't like girls …?
HAMMER
I like girls just fine! As waitresses and bank tellers. Doreau isn't … well she is … actually. Look, I don't think of her that way!
SAM
So you like girls, but not my daughter? Have I got that right?
HAMMER
If you want office gossip, ask Doreau. That's her department.
SAM
So, you think my daughter is the office gossip, and she's not good enough for you?
Close to the table now, Hammer strains to roll over, which requires lifting the chair off the floor.
HAMMER (teeth gritted with effort)
Look, if you want steamy romance, buy yourself a Harlequin novel. But there's nothing between Doreau and me.
HAMMER (as afterthought)
Besides, I've been married and once is enough.
SAM
I sure hope that don't mean you're planin' to live in sin, son.
By now Hammer has worked his way to his elbows and knees, with the chair above him, balanced precariously.
HAMMER (straining)
The only sin I live with is the rent my landlady charges. For a single room.
Making a final effort, he rolls (along with the chair) all the way over, crashing into the table leg. The table is nowhere near as sturdy as the chair. The leg collapses, the table tilts, and Hammer's gun and the rifle slide to the floor.
SAM (mildly impressed)
Got to admit it City Boy, I never thought you'd get that close to your gun again. Now try not to shoot yourself; (beat) or me either.
Hammer struggles again, rolling onto his back, with Gun underneath him. Twisting and squirming, he gets the rope holding his hands against the rear sight, and begins scuffing the rope fibres.
HAMMER
Sorry, Amigo. I'll realign those sights when we get home.
SAM (looking around)
You talkin' to someone again, City Boy?
At that moment, the rope holding Hammer's hands parts, and he shakes free. He immediately uses his free hands to untie his feet, and scoop up his Magnum. With hardly a glance at Sam, Hammer heads for the door.
HAMMER (to Gun)
Sure, you can soak him in used motor oil, but we have to find him first, OK?
SAM (now concerned)
Hey, you ain't plannin' to take those boys on all by yourself?
HAMMER (holding up Gun)
Of course not. There's two of us!
At that moment, we hear Doreau's voice off screen, and the door is slammed violently open by one of her kicks.
DOREAU (O/S)
HE – YAH!
Hammer reacts calmly.
HAMMER
Doreau, you're just in time.
HAMMER (crazy grin, to Gun)
She's back! Now we can shoot them!
Doreau crosses the room to untie her father.
DOREAU
I heard a gunshot. Didn't I ask you not to do anything stupid?
Hammer shrugs, and heads toward the door, exiting to porch. Doreau finishes untying her father, who stands, rubbing his wrists to restore circulation. He steps over to his rifle and picks it up, as Doreau pulls her service revolver from her waist holster.
Sam pushes her gently to one side and follows Hammer out the door.
SAM (to Doreau)
Wait here, Dori. This is man's work.
Doreau is completely astounded. Then she looks at her gun.
DOREAU (to her gun)
Man's work? Where would the two of them be without me?
A shocked, embarrassed look crosses Doreau's face as she realizes what she has just done. With a shake of her head, she starts toward the door, only to find Hammer and Sam blocking the steps, as they begin taking down rustlers.
A rustler spots Hammer and draws his six-gun.
HAMMER (grinning wildly to Gun)
Scum ball in the corner …
Hammer fires first, shooting the gun from his hand. Startled by the shock from Hammer's slug, the rustler topples from his horse, head first into an empty barrel.
SAM
Not bad. Here's a little jump shot to the side…
Sam fires his shot into a post, throwing splinters and startling one of the rustler's horses. It rears high into the air, throwing it's rider into the now milling cattle.
Hammer smiles appreciatively. Doreau spots a rustler trying to flank them.
DOREAU (warning)
Sledge! Over there!
Hammer turns quickly, but the rustler ducks, leaving him with no clear shot. Casually reaching inside his jacket, he extracts a grenade. Pulling the pin, he tosses the grenade which bounces off the corner post on the porch, rolling in the direction of the concealed rustler. The explosion throws the rustler into the air, landing him in a water trough.
SAM (calmly)
You got to call your shots for them to count, son. (beat) Double bank. Rock …
CUT TO: Hammer, who opens his mouth as though to protest "the rules".
QUICK CUT TO: Doreau, who rolls her eyes at the obvious macho one up-man-ship.
CUT BACK TO: Sam, who steadies his aim.
SAM (continues)
… onto the steer … into the truck.
Sam's shot strikes a rock, which in turn is propelled into a steer, hitting it directly in the forehead, and angering the large animal. The rock then arcs high in the air, falling with a clatter on the cab roof of a pickup truck. Startled by the noise, a rustler turns quickly, his gun ready.
Camera close-up of red handkerchief waving from the rustler's hip pocket as he turns.
Camera cuts to angry steer, which paws the ground once, and then charges at the offending handkerchief. The impact knocks the man headlong into the pickup truck bed, where he slides forward, slams into the front of the truck box, and is knocked unconscious.
As Hammer smiles and Sam admires his handiwork, we see Bert scrambling to mount a horse, and gallop away from the fray. Only Doreau notices him leaving.
Hammer is already lining up his next shot. Doreau opens her mouth to speak, then thinks better of it. She vaults over the porch railing and sprints toward her own horse.
The last two rustlers are trying to get away, too. One rustler starts the cattle truck and puts it into gear; another jumps into the pickup and starts it, spinning tires as he tries to accelerate.
HAMMER (to Gun)
Think we can run the table?
SAM (disbelieving)
Both of 'em?
HAMMER
Watch and learn!
With no hesitation, Hammer fires a single shot. The slug hits one front tire on the accelerating pickup, causing it to veer wildly. It spins out of control, still accelerating, and crashes head on into the cattle truck. Both drivers are knocked unconscious in the crash, and steam rises from crushed radiators on the vehicles. As the noise dies down, we hear the sound of hoof beats, moving rapidly.
Sam and Hammer turn to see Doreau pursuing Bert away from the scene.
HAMMER (to GUN)
I think the eight ball is trying to get away …
SAM
DORI, come back here!
Sam looks around for a horse, but the cattle and remaining horses are all milling about in confusion. Sam is determined (and desperate).
SAM
We've got to catch her before she gets hurt.
HAMMER (unconcerned)
Doreau? Pfft. She'll be fine.
Sam is confused and a little angry at Hammer's lack of concern.
SAM
Are you crazy?
HAMMER
Yeah, but I know what I'm doing. (beat) Say, did I ever tell you about the time she took down an international assassin?
SAM (still looking unnerved)
I've never even met you before!
HAMMER (unconcerned)
Well, see, this piece of English Earwax was here to kill the Bishop of somebody or other. He was laying it on thick; I mean he was just shovelling his British bunk at Doreau, and she was eating it up. Then she found out he was just playing her like a cheap violin. BIFF! SOCK! POW!
Hammer demonstrates, forcing Sam to duck.
HAMMER (continuing, exuberant)
Knocked him clean off a hotel balcony, twenty feet straight down onto a banquet table. Too bad he missed the main course.
SAM
If he missed the main course, what did he hit?
HAMMER (over sunglasses)
Just desserts.
Hammer shrugs. Walking over to the water trough, he reaches in and pulls out a thoroughly soaked and dispirited rustler.
HAMMER
What d' ya say we rack these sea urchins, play another game and then go after Doreau and Bert?
SAM (correcting Hammer)
Prairie oysters. That's what we call 'em around here.
Hammer and Sam each grab a rustler by the collar, force them to their feet and begin rounding up the rest.
SAM
An' you better be right about Dori. If my little girl has just one scratch on her, I'm takin' it outta your hide!
Hammer shrugs, as though completely unconcerned.
DISSOLVE TO:
Doreau and Bert are riding hard, with Doreau catching up quickly. Bert is frantic, using the loose ends of his reins to try to whip his horse faster. Doreau simply leans forward, shifting her weight slightly, causing her horse to close the remaining distance in a burst of speed.
Bert swings his arm wildly at Doreau, but in missing her, he loses his balance and tumbles to the ground, rolling. In the tumble he loses his firearm. Doreau reins in her mount, and leaps down, facing her adversary in a crouch.
BERT (reaches for gun, realizes it's gone)
Shoulda stayed on your horse Dori.
Bert rushes blindly at Doreau, expecting her to go down easily. Instead she spins outside his rush and delivers a sharp kick to his side. Bert gasps in pain.
DOREAU
This will go easier if you just surrender.
BERT
Surrender?! To a girl? From the city?
More cautiously this time, Bert closes on Doreau again.
DOREAU (unconcerned)
It's your funeral Bert.
This time she steps forward to meet him, leaping high delivering a hard kick to his chest.
DOREAU (continuing)
That's for stealing from my father.
Bert drops to his knees, partially winded by Doreau's hard kick. Doreau takes a step forward, and Bert throws a handful of dirt in her direction. Doreau is forced to take a step back, blinking to clear her eyes.
Bert regains his feet, and closes again, delivering an open handed slap to her cheek. Doreau staggers backward, but remains on her feet. Her eyes are clear now and she regards Bert with pity.
DOREAU
You're the one fighting like a girl …
Doreau's comment strikes a nerve. Bert stalks forward and swings a hard right at Doreau, who steps aside easily. Taking a firm grip on Bert's arm, and bracing herself, she uses his momentum to flip him, landing him hard on his back. Bert rolls to his feet, but moves more slowly as the beating begins to take a toll.
DOREAU
Stay down Bert. I don't want to hurt you!
With a bellow of pure rage, Bert rises to his feet, puts his head down and charges again, intending to crush Doreau with his weight and speed. Again, Doreau steps outside his charge, delivering a stiff handed blow to the back of Bert's neck.
DOREAU
That's for calling Sledge a city boy.
Bert stumbles, but stays upright, turning. Doreau delivers another of her flying kicks, causing Bert to stagger.
DOREAU
That's for defacing your badge!
This time she doesn't wait for Bert to recover. She steps in close and delivers a combination of blows (similar to hotel scene in "Under the Gun).
DOREAU
And that's for being a lousy date on Prom Night!
Bert is beaten, and as Doreau watches dispassionately, he falls to the ground remaining motionless.
DISSOLVE TO:
Hammer and Sam ride up, each with a rope tied to a lead rustler, who in turn is roped to another and another, chain gang fashion. They are forced to follow on foot. Sam is astonished that his daughter doesn't have a scratch (although there is a bruise on her cheek), while Bert is considerably worse for the wear, and tied up in an obviously painful manner.
SAM (nodding over shoulder)
You better loosen those ropes a little, Dori. He'll need his feet free to walk back with the rest of his gang.
DOREAU (thoughtfully)
I thought I might just drag him.
HAMMER (proudly)
She learned that from me …
DISSOLVE TO:
Sunset at the DOREAU RANCH.
Doreau alone on the house porch with a cup of coffee, watching the sunset. A portion of the song "Daughter of the Rockies" plays in the background – start from:
"Now I'm dreaming with my eyes wide open"
The front door opens, and the silhouette of a male figure appears. The door closes behind as he remains standing, also with a coffee cup in hand. Doreau glances his way, but turns back to the sunset without speaking.
"as the sun is going down."
The male figure speaks, but in tones leaving it ambiguous as to whether it is Hammer or her father, Sam.
"I don't believe I've seen such majesty"
Figure
We did good today. You did good today.
"anywhere else around."
Silence from Doreau.
Figure
Look, I know you're hurt to find out Bert ...
"But in the company of strangers"
DOREAU (interrupts)
Bert and I were never that close. (beat) You and I aren't really that close either, are we?
More silence.
"I become a jealous man."
Figure
Look, you know how hard it is for me to say I was wrong.
"It just ain't fair that I got to to share"
DOREAU
Do you know how hard it is for me not to hear it?
"But I'm doing the best that I can"
Figure steps forward out of the shadow. We see it is Sam.
"Daughter of the Rockies"
SAM (sighs)
You're right. I never approved of you becoming a cop. And that was wrong. (Stands beside her, and places his hand on her shoulder) I should have seen my little girl had grown up and could choose her own life. And I should have been there to see you succeed at it, too.
"Just when I thought you were mine"
SAM (continues)
You made me damn proud today, Dori. I probably owe you my life.
"Caught you dancing with the moon"
DOREAU (looking up at him)
Probably?
"Enchanting every cowboy's mind"
SAM (chuckles)
Got me there. I do owe you my life. When that door busted in, I was sure glad to see you behind it, not one of those rustlers.
"Daughter of the Rockies"
SAM (changing subject)
That city boyfriend of yours is sure the nervous sort, ain't he?
"They'll just love you tonight"
DOREAU (startled)
Huh? Sledge? Nervous?
"But will they recall your beauty"
SAM (chuckles)
Especially when he's talkin' about you. He kept trying to change the subject an' get to that fancy gun of his.
"In the morning light"
DOREAU (panicked look)
What did you say to him, Dad?
"The picture on all the postcards"
SAM (ignoring question)
You know, when the gunplay starts, most men go soft. He matched me shot for shot out there.
"Shows it as the place that you ought to be"
Sam pauses, a bit speculatively, sipping his coffee as Doreau's discomfort grows.
SAM (cont)
A woman could do worse than a man like that.
"Here I was born and raised"
DOREAU (defensive)
Sledge and I are partners, Dad. Nothing more. Our relationship is professional.
"So I can't say"
SAM (faking regret)
I guess I wasted a perfectly good "Father - son" speech on him then.
"She'll do to you"
DOREAU (really panicked now)
Dad, you didn't … you couldn't … I have to go back to San Francisco and work with him!
"What she does to me"
SAM (slyly)
Professional, yeah – I can see that!
"Cause she's filled my heart up with danger"
DOREAU (shaking her head)
It's complicated …
SAM
Can I offer some advice?
"Thunder rolling off the tip of her tongue"
DOREAU
Could I stop you?
"Yet so gentle she seems"
SAM
Two people, workin' together, on something they believe in, are you sayin' that's a bad thing, Dori? You know, your Ma and I built this place – and raised you … working together. Every day.
"A world of extremes."
Doreau sits silently. Sam watches her appraisingly.
DOREAU (refusing to comment further)
I don't want to talk about it, Dad …
"I've been caressed"
SAM (continues, softly)
He doesn't know, does he?
"Now I'm being stung"
Doreau sets her coffee cup aside and stands up, facing her father for the first time.
DOREAU (defensive)
You're the one who keeps bringing him up, Dad, not me.
"Daughter of the Rockies"
SAM (accusing)
An' you're the one dodgin' the question.
The color goes out of Doreau's face. Her response is emotionless.
"Just when I thought you were mine"
DOREAU (empty sounding)
I told you, Dad, we're professionals. He doesn't need to know about ...
"Caught you dancing with the moon"
Abruptly, she turns back to the sunset. Camera reverses angle to show Doreau, as Sam moves to stand close behind her.
"Enchanting every cowboy's mind"
SAM
Sometimes a wheel falls offa the wagon, Dori. There is no good way for that to happen. Maybe it's time to accept that, and move on.
"Daughter of the Rockies"
Tears form in Doreau's eyes, and one slowly trickles down her cheek. She turns to her father, and throws her arms around him almost in desperation. He returns her embrace, but more gently, still holding his coffee cup awkwardly.
"They'll just love you tonight"
DOREAU
Dad …
At this moment Hammer blunders through the door.
"But will they recall your beauty"
HAMMER (flustered)
Whoa. No, what I mean is … none of my … I'll just …
"In the morning light?"
As he starts to turn back to the door, Doreau releases her father and tries to compose herself.
DOREAU (tentative)
Sledge …?
"Will they recognize your face like I do"
HAMMER
Look, I didn't mean to interrupt (stops as he recognizes her father).
DOREAU
I know you two have already met, but I think it's time for a proper introduction.
"In the morning light?"
Doreau takes a deep breath as if to steady her nerves.
DOREAU
Sledge, this is my father, Sam. Dad, this is my partner on the force, Sledge Hammer.
As the last notes fade, two men step forward, eye to eye and grasp hands.
CLOSING THEME AND CREDITS ROLL.
FADE OUT.
"Daughter of the Rockies", Music and Lyrics by George Fox.
Folks around here have seen snow in May
but seldom rain in early July.
That's when the Stampede City
blows the clouds away
and leaves a clear Alberta sky.
The best of the rodeo riders
are coming in off the trail.
They'll rope and ride
where the stakes are high
hoping pride and luck don't fail.
Now I'm dreaming with my eyes wide open
as the sun is going down.
I don't believe I've seen such majesty
anywhere else around.
But in the company of strangers,
I become a jealous man.
It just ain't fair that I got to share,
but I'm doing the best I can.
Daughter of the Rockies, just when I thought you were mine
Caught you dancing with the moon, enchanting every cowboy's mind
Daughter of the Rockies, they'll just love you tonight
But will they recall your beauty in the morning light?
The picture on all the postcards
shows it as the place that you ought to be.
Here I was born and raised so I can't say
She'll do to you what she does to me.
Cause she's filled my heart up with danger
thunder rolling off the tip of her tongue.
So gentle she seems, a world of extremes
I've been caressed, now I'm being stung.
Daughter of the Rockies, etc.
Will they recognize your face like I do in the morning light?