John Phoenix and Phoenix Wright were at Dover Port to visit their friend Peter Murray who captains old ferry boats. They went down to the boat to go to some islands when Phoenix noticed a fish lying on the ground.

"Hey John Phoenix this thing's supposed to be in the sea, right?" said Phoenix.

"You are right, Uncle," said John Phoenix. "I say we pick it up and take it home and cook it into a nice dinner!"

"You would do that not knowing my true value?" said the fish.

"Blimey it can speak!" said Pete.

Then the fish stood up on its tail.

"Yes I know how to speak, I know how to speak because I'm smart. And I'm the smartest fish of all! I am the Salmon of Knowledge, be the first person to eat me and you will know everything about the world!"

"OBJECTION! I'm John Phoenix I already know everything about the world!"

"And so you have no reason to eat me! Farewell!"

The Salmon of Knowledge jumped into the sea and swam away, and as it did, a wise-looking old man and his apprentice ran up screaming.

"Gorrrr, I'll catch that fing if its the last fing I do!" the old man growled.

"Come on John Phoenix let's go out to sea!" said Phoenix and he ran to the boat but John Phoenix grabbed his collar.

"Uncle Phoenix you should eat the Salmon of Knowledge."

"Why me John Phoenix?"

"Because it'll make you smart and I'm sick of you being and idiot so if you eat it you won't be showing culprits your evidence or anything stupid like that any more."

"Oh thanks John Phoenix!"

So Pete went into his cabin and took out three fishing poles and they cast their lines into the sea.

"Do you really think we can do it John Phoenix?" said Phoenix.

"Of course, I'm very good at fishing for someone who can't swim," said John Phoenix.

They waited a bit before a little rowboat paddled up to them.

"Well well well if it isn't the liffle sea urchins that let me fish swim away," said the old man. "You fink you will snatch the fing from my hands, you will fink again! Move forth my apprentice!"

"But Finnegas I'm tiiiiired," said the apprentice who was rowing the boat and also fishing for the old man.

Finnegas and the apprentice left the three fishermen just as Pete got a bite.

"Woh-ho I got something!" said Pete and he hauled it in and it was a cod!

Pete got excited and started cooking it.

"Pete we're looking for a salmon not cod," said John Phoenix.

"Who cares, cod is tasty so it is!" said Pete and he ate the cod.

"THERE IT IS," someone outside the boat shouted.

John Phoenix looked out and saw Finnegas and his apprentice nearby and then he noticed a shadow in the water near their hook. As he expected though, the fish was smart enough to not simply bite the hook and let itself be caught, and a different fish bit instead. Finnegas shouted curses at his apprentice as the young tired boy was forced to reel the fish in to no avail.

Meanwhile, the shadow that didn't touch the hook lingered near John Phoenix's. He knew there was no chance the Salmon of Knowledge would take any bait, which was why he didn't bother attach any bait in the first place.

So instead, John Phoenix used his psychic powers to take hold of the hook and force it into the Salmon of Knowledge's mouth! The salmon tried to break free but resistance was futile and John Phoenix pulled the fish out of the sea and into Pete's boat!

"I can't believe me eyes you did it Johnny!" said Pete.

"Yes I did!" said John Phoenix. "And now we're going to make Uncle Phoenix smart!"

The fishermen returned to land, but an evil old man watched from afar.

"The free of you will pay dearly for this," said Finnegas.

"Release me at once," said the Salmon of Knowledge.

"How about no?" said John Phoenix and he put the Salmon of Knowledge on the grill and it died.

The fish started sizzling on the grill and a blister started to form on it. Pete grimaced because the sight of that lump annoyed him so he burst it with his thumb.

And then Pete cried out in pain and started hopping up and down and he started sucking his thumb because it burned!

"What did you THINK was going to happen?" said John Phoenix.

The door swung open!

"Capture the fish and leave nobody alive!" shouted Finnegas.

Finnegas' apprentice screwed his eyes shut and charged forward swinging his arms around and knocked Pete onto the floor!

"Pete!" shouted John Phoenix as he kicked the menace away and helped his friend back onto his feet. But while he was distracted, Finnegas ran past him and grabbed the Salmon of Knowledge!

"Ow ow hot hot hot!" Finnegas screamed and he threw the fish in his hands! John Phoenix ran to take the fish back but before he could reach the thief, Finnegas held the fish up and opened his mouth wide.

"You'll never fake the fish back!" he shouted and then he dropped the fish into his mouth and bit into it from the tail! Then he slowly pulled the skeleton out and ate the entire fish.

"NO!" shouted Phoenix.

"Ahahaha!" laughed Finnegas. "Now all the world's knowledge is mine!"

Then Finnegas got really sick and fell onto the floor. He clutched his stomach because it was burning from the hot fish he ate whole!

"M-Master!" shouted the apprentice. He kneeled down beside him and grabbed his shoulders and shook him.

"Stop that."

"Sorry," said the apprentice. "But how does it feel? Do you know everything?"

Finnegas closed his eyes for a minute then opened them again and said "no I don't know shit what the fuck the legends lied to me!"

"What!"

"All I know is that me tummy really hurts!"

Finnegas started coughing and sputtering and the apprentice started wailing because he was going to die.

But then Pete stepped forward!

"Stop crying fella you can still save him all ya need is ta feed him 5 milliliters of magnesium chloride every eight hours and he'll be right as rain in a week."

"Oh!" said the apprentice. "Thank you Mr. Pete!"

The apprentice took Finnegas over his shoulder and carried him away.

"Wow Pete," said Phoenix. "How did you get such impressive knowledge about medicine?"

"I haven't the foggiest idea meself! Da-ha-ha-ha- ouchie," Pete started sucking his throbbing thumb again.

The End!