"You're gonna work on your tech this time"
"You have the most important job"
"You can't defend yourself with your ability, I could never forgive myself if something happened to you"
"I'll show them" he thought "maybe if I'm useless here I won't be at the Neverseen" He had cared about them at one point, when being around Sophie would make his heart flutter. When it would warm his heart when Fitz or Keefe came and hung out with him. Not anymore. Now he knew that they thought he was useless. Defenseless. He only went along when he actually had a use. Break this lock, hack into the cameras, decode this, decode that. Even when everybody went along. Some people didn't have a use, but they still went. Fitz, unless they were splitting into groups he was useless because Sophie could open her mind to everybody else's. Keefe or Stina, both Empaths, (this is set before Loamnore)they don't need two of them. And there were more. Those reasons were what made him determined to show them that he could kill, he could go on the offensive. And that's what made him set the note down in the cave where he was kidnapped years ago. It was simple and straight to the point. The note read:
I want to join, I will do anything to prove that I am loyal.
Dex
And when he received a note responding to his the next day. He was determined to do the task they needed him the do. The response read:
We accept your offer, to prove your loyalty you will [redacted]. We hope you join our order, you will be a valuable asset.
Neverseen