Title: Forced to Hurt a Loved One
Day: Febuwhump 2023, Day 13: Forced to Hurt a Loved One
Fandom: TMNT 2003
Word Count: 2017
Author: aquietwritingcorner/realitybreakgirl
Rating: T
Characters: Raphael
Warning: Violence
Summary: Raph would never hurt his family. Never. Unless, of course, he wasn't given a choice. What can he do when something takes over his body and turns him into a force to attack his brothers? Apparently not much, and it's making him sick.
Notes: The idea for this came from either a tumblr post or a conversation I happened upon in a discord that wondered how 2k3 Raph would fair with the brainworms from 2012. I found it a fascinating idea that stuck in my head, and it ended up turning into the inspiration for this.
Forced to Hurt a Loved One
Raphael could see everything. He could see everything, hear everything, feel everything, but he could control nothing. He could feel his body turning on the commands it was given, feel his muscles coil, ready to fight, feel the rush that came just before a battle. He could feel his body do everything it was supposed to, could feel himself reacting with well-trained and honed skills and senses. No one was telling him how to fight. It felt like he had control.
But he didn't.
He couldn't stop himself from fighting. No matter how much he railed against it, he couldn't stop himself from fighting. He couldn't ignore the command to fight, no matter how much he wanted to.
He was in control, but he was out of control, and it was his worst nightmare.
His brothers were standing before him, tensed, ready to fight. He could see the conflict in their eyes, though. They didn't want to hurt him. They just wanted to stop him. The commands that Raph's body was operating under did not have the same limitations.
He felt the roughness of the rooftop under his feet as he rushed his brothers. They dodged, but Raph knew them well, knew what they would do, how they would go. Leo and Mike veered to the right. Donnie veered to the left. Raph would normally veer to the left too, sticking with Don. That was his role. Protector. He couldn't protect if he didn't know what his brothers were likely to do. He knew what they were likely to do. And so, his body did too.
He veered to the left as well, lashing out with his sai towards Donnie. Don saw him coming and adjusted, using quick foot work to get out of Raph's way. His bo was out protectively, but he'd had yet to use it against Raph. Raph's body didn't give Don time to rest, pivoting to land a hard kick against Don's side. It landed, and Don was hurled to the side.
No!
Raph's body rounded on him, sai raised and Raph struggled to get any sort of control back.
"Raph, stop it!"
He had never been so glad for Leo's quick thinking and fast skills.
His sai met with his brother's katana instead of sinking into Don's flesh, and Don rolled away, getting out of the danger zone. Raph's sai moved to capture Leo's blades, but Leo wasn't falling for that trick. He maneuvered his blades away, pulling back, which left a perfect opportunity for Mikey to come swooping in.
"What's wrong with him?"
"It's got to be some sort of mind control!"
Mikey put himself right in front of Raph, swinging away with his nunchucks. Raph could see exactly what he was doing. He was trying to capture Raph's sai, and if Raph knew it, so did his body. His body allowed the Mikey to get in close, and then lashed out, ducking to the side and under Mikey and grabbing his arm. Raph panicked, knowing that grip, knowing that his body was going to try to break Mikey's arm.
No! Stop! No!
Out of nowhere, Don swooped in, swinging his staff around, forcing Raph's body to let go of Mikey's arm. Leo rejoined the fight as well, joining in the twisted game of keep away. Raph's body kept moving, aiming to hurt and even kill his brothers—and Raph knew that his body was going after killing shots. He could feel it. His guilt and anger only grew as his body's strikes grazed Mikey's arm here, Leo's arm there, Don's shoulder somewhere.
His body wasn't pulling his punches, and he felt each bruising kick, each striking punch, and each time his sai caught even a little bit of his brothers. He could see them tiring out, but whatever was controlling him wasn't going to let him tire out. His brothers were already sporting bruises, cuts, and scrapes, and Raph's eyes wandered over them. He had to fight this!
His body readjusted the grip on his sai, and he rushed in. His body dodged Leo's swords, kicking him in the chest. His body ducked under Mikey's nunchucks, grabbing one with a sai and using it to flip him into Leo. Don came in swinging with his staff, and Raph's body danced away from it.
"We've got to contain him!"
Mikey leapt back into the action, flipping over Don and Raph's fight and attacking Raph from the other side. Leo stood off to the side, waiting for his chance to join in. Raph's body ducked a strike from Don's staff, grabbing it and swinging his brother into Mikey. Mikey went down, and Raph's body let go of Don's staff, sending Don stumbling away.
Raph's body growled, and then leapt towards Mikey, raising a sai to stab him. Leo jumped in there, literally, kicking Raph out of the way. Raph's body stumbled, but recovered, and it turned to head straight at Leo again.
No, no, no, no, no!
Suddenly there was a staff across his chest and arms, keeping his arms pinned to his side. Donnie was behind him, holding the pressure on him. Raph could feel his arms straining against the hold even as he, himself, felt some measure of relief. Don was strong. He was much stronger than anyone thought he would be. It was a byproduct of all of the heavy lifting he had to do for his projects, and Raph knew well just how strong he was. It would be difficult to break his hold.
"Fight it, Raph! Fight it!"
Raph's body struggled against Don even as Leo and Mikey approached the two of them. Good. Maybe they could stop him. Raph didn't care if they hurt him, he just wanted to stop hurting his brothers. It was killing him that all the wounds he was seeing on them were caused by his hands. Maybe Donnie could hold him long enough for Leo and Mikey to do something about it.
And then Raph felt his grip change.
Run, Donnie! Let go and run!
He panicked, fighting hard against his rebellious body, knowing what was coming. With his said now in a downward grip, and his elbow not restrained from moving, Raph's body stabbed Donatello in the thigh.
No!
He heard Donnie cry out, heard the yells from his other brothers and screamed in his own head as his body pulled the sai out, even as Don's grip on his staff faltered. The moment his body felt the weakness in the grip restraining him, it moved, landing a solid kick on Don, throwing him to the ground. Immediately, his body was on top of Don, stabbing down again, this time towards his brother's throat.
Donnie! No! I'm sorry! No!
Don managed to get his bo up in time to deflect the stab from his throat to his shoulder instead. Raph felt sick as his weapon plunged into his brother's body, and he screamed. Fortunately, before he could jerk it out, his body was suddenly tackled off of Don's, his two brothers landing on top of him and holding him down. His body struggled, but his brothers were more than angry by this time and their anger gave them a strength that Raph was grateful for.
They wrestled him down, pinning him to the ground. Raph could see Donnie from where they had him pinned. His brother had rolled over, curling in on himself, hands on the bleeding stab wounds, and pain on his face. Guilt flooded him, although there was nothing that he could do about it. When he felt Leo push down on his pressure points, Raph welcomed the unconsciousness it brought.
I'm sorry! I'm sorry…
When Raph woke up, he wasn't sure that he wanted his awareness back, not if he was going to be out of control like before. He jerked his head around, trying to see where he was, panic running through him. His felt his heartrate shoot up when he saw Don on a bed not too far away. His leg was wrapped and elevated, and his shoulder was as well. He looked pale and Raph couldn't tell if he was unconscious or just asleep.
"Don…"
"Glad to see you awake. I think."
Raph snapped his head over to the doorway where Leo was currently standing, looking relatively uninjured. Raph made to sit up, but found that he couldn't.
"Restraints," Leo said, coming further into the room. "Just in case."
Raph relaxed back down into the bed. "I get that," he said. He looked towards Don. "Is—is he—"
Leo moved closer to Raph's bed, snagging a rolling stool to sit on. "He'll be alright, we think. He lost a lot of blood, and it'll take him some time to heal, but as far as we can tell, he'll be fine."
Relief filled Raph. "That's good," he said. "How's Mikey? Did I hurt him?"
"He's got a bump on his head, but aside from the usual scrapes and bruise that's about it," Leo said.
"And you?" Raph asked.
"Nothing more than the typical scrapes and bruises." Leo reassured him. He paused for a moment, looking Raph in the eyes. "Raph—what happened out there?"
Raph shook his head. "It—it was out of my control, Leo! Ya gotta believe me! I could see everythin', hear everythin', feel everythin', but I couldn't stop anythin'! Something else was controllin' me and I couldn't break that, no matter how hard I tried! You gotta believe me!"
"I do believe you," Leo said.
Raph paused. "You do?"
Leo nodded. "First off, I know you. You wouldn't hurt any of us on purpose on your own. The last time you lost your temper around Mikey, you were shook up for days. And secondly, when we looked you over, we found this."
Leo reached over and pulled one of Don's specimen dishes into view. In it was… well, Raph wasn't really sure what it was. It was black, thin, and about six inches long. Part of it looked like it was technological, but part of it looked like it was alive. All of it looked like some sort of worm.
"What's that?" Raph asked.
Leo shrugged. "We're not entirely sure, and by that point, Don had passed out, so we couldn't ask him. But we pulled it from the back of your head. We weren't sure what the effect of that on you would be, so we decided it was best to keep you restrained."
"No, that makes sense," Raph said, still looking at the black worm thing as Leo sat it back down. "If… If I had hurt any of ya more… I don't know what I'd do, Leo." He looked over at Don. "I knew what my body was about to do before it did it, and I couldn't stop it. I felt every moment of it and I just…" He shook his head.
Leo put a hand on Raph's shoulder. "I get it. But just in case, we're gonna keep you like this a little longer, just to be sure. Sensei said something about doing something on the astral plane, and when Don wakes up I'm sure that he'll have some sort of scan we can run."
Raph nodded. "I get that. It makes sense. But Leo—I just—I would never—I—"
Leo nodded and gave Raph's shoulder a squeeze. "I know. You'd never hurt the ones you love, if you have any choice in it."
"You got that right, Leo."
Leo stood up. "I'll send Master Splinter in here, in a moment. But know that no one blames you for this. We blame whoever put that thing in you."
Raph nodded and watched Leo leave. He glanced back at Don again, craning his neck so that he could see his brother. Maybe none of them would blame him for this, but it would take a while before Raph would stop blaming himself. Even if someone else had been in control of him, Raph didn't think he'd ever forget the feeling of hurting his brothers.