6/8 – Undercover
"Ah, you're back."
Ren crossed LeBlanc's threshold and sent a nod of greeting to his benefactor as had become custom. In fact, quite a few things had become simply normal to him these past few months: even going from the ethereal haze of the Velvet Room to the haze of early-morning drowziness was starting to grow on Ren, and he wasn't yet sure how to feel about that. On the one hand, the nigh-existential dread he'd felt upon his first arrival had nearly dissipated as he'd gotten to know the twins and Igor and become accustomed to the goings-on in that other world. The way things were going, he might even get used to having a night's sleep stolen from him at random.
Maybe.
On the other hand, he was also starting to get his bearings in Tokyo proper. Before that night it'd been little more than some far off place that he'd be lucky to visit once in a while; these days traveling to Shibuya had become just another part of his routine, even for his more… extra-normal errands.
In short, Ren was quite proud of himself, and still riding the high of Madarame's defeat, he'd decided to treat himself. His room was loaded with sooty clothes to sell at Kichijoji, and while he was there he could splurge a bit on incense, play some darts with the Thieves, maybe stop by that super-busy meat stall for a treat for the road. All he needed now was the okay from Morgana; better that than to risk his whining all evening.
Said cat pulled himself up over Ren's shoulder, saying, "I know that look. What's the plan, Ren?" His face in the real world wasn't quite as expressive as in the Metaverse, but his impish excitement came through in his tone; he was down for anything.
Feeling a bit impish himself, Ren replied, "Wanna head to Kichijoji for a bit?"
"Mmaybe. Are you gonna invite the others?"
"Of course, or at least Yusuke. He needs to get out more."
"Says the guy talking to his cat like it's a person," Sojiro muttered.
"I am a person!" Morgana replied almost reflexively. To the older man's ears it came out as an angry hiss.
"You made him mad," Ren said.
"I see that," Sojiro said. After a look at Morgana's pouting face he added, "Sorry, I guess. So you're heading out again? Watch yourself out there."
"Right." As Ren turned to leave, his phone went off, and the ID onscreen nearly drained every ounce of enthusiasm right out of him. It read "The Twins", which could only mean more work, or at least a light headache within the next three minutes. Five if Justine was on the other end.
"You wanna get that?" Sojiro asked.
He didn't. Not now, at least, at the peak of his mood. Alas, he knew that ignoring this would leave with hell to pay next time he so much as entered their line of sight. With a less-than-enthusiastic nod and an extra second to get his mind right, Ren put the phone to his ear. "Hello?"
"Inmate!"
Three minutes this time.
"You have an assignment due! Meet me at once, and don't even think about weaseling out of this!" The call ended before he could respond.
"That noisy girl again," Mona said. "Seriously, who is that?"
Sojiro simply chuckled. "See, I told you not to do anything stupid, and now look what you've done." His tone was chiding, but he wore a good-natured smirk. "You better do as she says. You're already in hot water; just take your licks and get it over with."
Ren was sorely tempted to say something, to explain the reality of the situation, but what would he say? "That wasn't a girlfriend, it was a pair of eight year old prison wardens that live in my dreams"? Forget prison; he'd be thrown in the loony bin at best. Misunderstandings aside, he knew that Sojiro was right, that there was nothing else for it but to tackle this head on like always.
"Okay," was all he decided to say before setting Morgana's bag down at the counter. "Morgana, do you mind?"
"I'll stay behind again, don't worry," Morgana said. "Trust me, I get enough of whatever that is during the day."
"Thanks." Flashing them both a grateful grin, Ren turned and left.
Folding his paper, Sojiro looked at Morgana and said, "Alright, you know the rules: behind the counter 'til closing. I'll tell you a bit more about our beans if you're good."
Morgana leapt from his bag and followed his orders with gusto, saying, "You got it, Boss!"
"Can't believe he's got me doing it…"
The ride to Shibuya did little to ease Ren's mood. He spent the entire trip trying to guess -and prepare for- what awaited him, only to draw blanks. He wasn't yet strong enough to meet their next fusion assignment, nor could he say with confidence that he was prepared for another "research expedition" so soon after the last; he still got looks from the staff at Big Bang Burger.
All too soon, he found himself on Central Street, trudging down the walkway until he reached the alley. A quick peek around the corner proved that, sure enough, Caroline was stationed right outside that wispy door, catching his eye immediately.
"I see you, Inmate! Quit messing around and get over here!"
Ren did as he was ordered, approaching the loud girl as he always did, but this time noticing a slight change in her wardrobe: a blue, black-accented raincoat worn over her warden's uniform, its hood pulled over her head in place of her hat.
As ever, she waited for him to come to her, glaring daggers the entire time. Once he was finally within an acceptable range she spat, "You took your sweet time. Lucky for you, this one's off the books!"
Ren blinked. What the heck did "off the books" mean to them? And furthermore, "Where's your sister?"
A baton emerged from Caroline's sleeve and struck the ground dangerously close to Ren's foot before finding its tip aimed at his face. "That's none of your business! You, Inmate, need to focus on your assignment!" She lowered her weapon, using it as a makeshift cane while saying, "Speaking of…" Caroline shot a pointed look to an empty spot by the gate, then trailed off.
She went quiet for a long moment, and Ren was reminded of the fact that the destination announcement was handled by Justine. Realizing how uncomfortable she was when out of her element, perhaps even before she did, brought a slight smile to his face.
"Anyway!" Caroline said, again slamming her baton against the asphalt. "Today's destination: an eatery where humans further desecrate the flesh of their prey by bathing it in molten bronze. This decadence requires that patrons restrict themselves to only occasional indulgence, despite the low price and ease of preparation. Ring any bells, Inmate?"
Ren furrowed his brow in thought, frustrated at having to once again decipher the too-flowery language the twins used. Humans preyed on animals, so further desecrated animal meat would be something like… well, prepared meat. What was "molten bronze" supposed to be? Meat soaked in boiling, yellowish liquid… did she mean that one fried food stall in Kichijoji?
Her baton rapped against his leg. "You've got something? If you know where it is, escort me there at once, Inmate!"
"Yes, ma'am." Offering a mock salute, Ren turned and headed back to the station with the small girl quickly matching his pace.
The ride to Kichijoji was an unexpected treat. Seeing Caroline's shock at being boxed in by the bustling evening crowd brought to mind his own first time being sardine'd, and that the often haughty, loudmouthed girl was quickly reduced to clinging to his arm for stability was pure catharsis. She knew it, too, going by the occasional indignant look she sent his way throughout the trip and the way she all but threw him onto the platform at their destination.
Worth it.
"Wipe that look off your face, Inmate!" Caroline said, the blush fading from her cheeks. Clearly she was unbothered by the stares from the crowd. "There'll be hell to pay when we get back!"
"For what?" Ren asked, dusting off his jeans and making for the exit.
She was hot on his heels. "For cramming me in that tube! Humans have a whole planet to walk on; why travel in that thing?"
"It's more efficient. Japan doesn't have much space, so…" He gestured vaguely at her, daring her to fill in the rest on her own.
"So people had to work around it, and that meant cramming themselves into those tiny cars?" she asked after a second's thought. "All so they could cut a week of travel down to a few minutes. So are humans lazy or determined?"
"Yes."
The walk to Providence Lane was brief and quiet for the most part, as was the shopping center itself. It was a bit slow today, lending the already cozy area a gentle, sleepy air, like a warm night out with friends given shape. Ren sighed at the thought, resolved to at least try to make the most of this impromptu outing. He turned to his charge, hoping to figure out just where this place was supposed to be, only to have her take him by his wrist and drag him off the street.
"Here's the one, Inmate!" she said, pointing to the fried food stall just inside the street entrance. "Get me something from here!"
Even this late at night, the stall was busy enough for the cook to be taking orders from three other customers, with at least four more leaving with their food in hand. While a far cry from the usual, near-endless train of bodies, it was still more than a bit discouraging. The silver lining was that if Ren played his cards right, he could call it a night here and have time to spare.
"And what can I get you youngsters?"
"Huh?" While he was lost in thought, those three patrons had vanished; apparently they were a party. Now it was just him, the cook, and the cantankerous cop at his side. After a quick look at the menu display, Ren said, "Oh. One of the menchi katsu and…" He looked to Caroline, who was all but bending over backwards to get a look at the display. "Can you see okay? Here." He took a menu pamphlet from the countertop and handed to her.
Taking the menu and a second to crack her neck, Caroline briefly scanned each page before stowing it in her coat pocket. "I want what he's having! And twice as much of it!" she barked.
Fearing for his wallet, Ren quickly handed over a few bills and said, "Make that two, please. Two each."
"Got it! Coming right up!" Ever-enthusiastic, the cook turned and got to work.
Their side of the transaction completed, Ren ushered Caroline off to the side to wait, each content to stand by and listen to the sweet sounds of frying meat. Well, Ren was content to wait.
As soon as the pork hit the pan and let out that signature sizzle, Caroline perked up, and she whirled on Ren with an eager eye. "So what's going on in there, Inmate? All day, I see humans line up for hours outside that stall. Is it all for the noise, or the smell?"
"It's the food. Fresh-made, quality katsu is hard to come by, I hear."
"If it tastes as good as it smells, I'd believe it." She took a whiff of the air, breathing in the scent of frying meat before once again turning to him with suspicion. "Wait, 'I hear'? You've never had this before?"
He nodded. "Didn't have many chances back home."
"Hah!" Beaming, she dealt him a friendly swat to the arm. "Don't say I never did anything for you, Inmate!"
Putting aside that he was paying for this, Ren smiled down at her. "Should I cry my tears of joy now?" He knew that he was playing with fire, and so braced himself for the reprimand or "corrective" swat that he knew was coming.
"Not in public," was her reply, much to his shock. "Pretend you have some shame and wait 'til we get back."
His smile only grew. "Yes, ma'am."
Their food was done in just a minute more, and at the teller's call they went to collect the goods, each receiving a paper boat loaded with two fried pork patties and a side of Japanese Worcestershire sauce. With Caroline finding a nearby bench, the two sat down to eat.
Piping hot, the steam clouded Ren's glasses and filled his nose with all manner of savory scents; clearly even the batter and breading were expertly seasoned. And that was just the smell. Eager for a taste of the real deal, he tore into his food, first relishing the juxtaposition between the crispy coating and the still-tender meat just beneath. And forget the breading, the meat itself was loading with a bevy of complementary flavors.
...and then his tongue was burning, which was perhaps what he deserved. He hurried to swallow down what he could rather than be forced to spit it out everywhere; it was unsightly and gross at the best of times, never mind with present company.
For Caroline's part, she seemed to be enjoying her share well enough. Her first cut was already gone, perhaps in the time it took for Ren to take a single bite. Still, heatproof as she was, she was still a child and could only eat so much at once, leaving her resembling a high-strung chipmunk while she eyed the remainder of her meal.
"I don't get it," she said after finally swallowing. "Why do humans line up for hours for this? It's good, but not that good."
"Herd psychology, maybe?" Ren offered, choking down his vehement disagreement. "People see the line and join in to see what it's about."
"They really just line up because others are already there?" she asked with a scoff. "How weak willed can they be?" She went to take a sip from her sauce cup, stopping only to notice the cheeky look Ren was sending her way. "Don't look at me like that! This is research!"
"Uh-huh." He went to douse the rest of his probably-cooled food in the sauce; better safe than sorry. "Whatever you say, boss."
"You've been pretty bold tonight, Inmate," she said, likewise pouring her sauce over her cut. "You must think you're getting off easy 'cause I'm alone!"
"Where is Justine, anyway?" he asked between bites, gripping a small dry patch so as to not dirty his hands.
"Shh!" Caroline sent a wary look to the Velvet Room door just a few yards away. There was no sign of movement, and she whirled on Ren with a furious gaze. "That tears it!" Leaping from seat, she pulled off her gloves and exchanged them with a fresh pair from some pocket or another in one smooth motion. Thrusting a freshly-gloved finger at Ren's face, she barked, "I've gone and spoiled you, Inmate! Unlike you, though, I can own up to my mistakes!" From her other hand came her baton, to be rapped against her palm as she said, "Hurry and clean this up, then we're going back in!" A decidedly unkind smile came to her face. "I'll remind you of your place."
So it went that Caroline proceeded to drag Ren all around the Promenade and Harmony Alley, forcing him to purchase anything that caught her eye. Between visiting the meat bun stall(¥980) and the incense shop(¥2510, discounted thanks to the owner being impressed by her critique of his wares), it was looking like all of his Metaverse earnings would be drained in one night. In fairness, that was close to the original plan, but still.
Ah, but there was hope: he hadn't grabbed those dirty clothes before heading out. There's no way he'd be able to get to LeBlanc and back in a timely manner, but he'd probably break even by tomorrow afternoon. Now he just had to keep up with Caroline a bit longer.
"This is a marksmanship challenge, then?" Caroline asked from her perch atop a stool. At her feet was a bag stuffed with incense sticks. How she planned to hide them from her sister was a mystery, but he dare not ask, lest this late night become an all-nighter ending with him in the poorhouse.
"Basically," Ren said through a half-hidden yawn. "Just be sure that we get exactly three hundred and one points."
"Aw, you worn out already, Inmate?" she asked with a sneer, though Ren noticed her eye drooping ever so slightly. "Stand aside, then; I'll handle this."
"I'm fine," he said, taking a dart in hand. "Besides, it's a team game. We'll go together." Taking aim, he launched all three in rapid succession, scoring a total of sixty-three points, well below his usual mid-eighties range. Chalking it up to fatigue, he offered a hand to Caroline. "Okay, tag out."
"Not even a hundred? Really?" Heaving a sigh, she slapped Ren's hand and took her place. "I'll show you how it's done." With a dart between each finger, she mimed a toss once and again before launching them all at once with a mighty overhand throw, something closer to a baseball pitch than a dart toss. Against all odds, they hit home for a grand total of seventy-seven points. "What the-!?" She whirled on Ren, pointing an accusing finger at him. "I can't focus with you right behind me! Keep your distance, Inmate!"
Opting to ignore that he was about four feet away, Ren noted their score with an appreciative nod. "This is a good start. Tag out."
"I expect one-fifty, minimum! Got it?"
Another high-five saw Ren taking aim once again. "That's the maximum, I think." He let fly, the dart just barely missing dead center for a score of twenty-five.
"Don't sass me! And quit breathing so hard, you're throwing off your aim!"
"Alright." Slowing his breathing as instructed, a flick of the wrist sent the second dart straight into the bullseye.
"Good. Now keep this next one straight; don't move too much when you let go." That had Ren send her a look over his shoulder. "What!? You're the one who needs to hone his technique, not me!"
"Right, right." And she was; he'd read somewhere that stillness was the key to accuracy. It didn't make her attitude any more bearable, though. All that in mind, he released the third dart with little more than his fingertips, managing to strike home once more. Smiling back at Caroline, he offered a hand and said, "Show me how it's done."
Caroline eyed his hand with a scowl before slapping it quite a bit harder than necessary. "You think you're funny…" she muttered, taking her place and her darts in hand. "Thirty-six…"
It was an easy enough thing to do, Ren figured, with plenty of paths to success: a twenty and a sixteen; double-fifteen and a six; maybe even a triple-twelve if she was up to it. That in mind, "Try one at a time."
"Shh!" was her reply, though she did indeed move two of them to her other hand. A moment of silence, another of miming, then she let fly, cleanly scoring a triple-twelve.
Wait, no, it was a triple-nine. Still good, though.
Whether Caroline thought so, he couldn't say; without a word she took aim once more, and with little more than a moment's consideration, made a decisive shot for a triple-three. Wearing a thousand-watt grin, she spun and dealt Ren a heavy-handed double high-five. "How do you like that, Inmate!?"
"Good stuff," he said, offering a brief golf clap with still-stinging hands. "I almost thought the height would throw you off."
"You must be joking." Just like that her merry mood was gone, leaving her with crossed arms and fixing him with a withering glare. "This is nothing for a Velvet Room warden! More importantly, I hope you learned something instead of just playing cheerleader?"
"I did, thanks to you. I'll remember this for next time."
She cocked her head to the side. "You come out here often?"
"Yeah, with my… contractees. It's a team-building exercise."
"Is that right? A mere game can help humans cooperate in battle?" She looked between Ren and the dartboard, humming to herself before saying, "I guess I can't deny that, having seen it for myself. I'm glad your head's in the right place, even during your break. Keep it up, Inmate!"
"Will do," Ren said with a nod. "Next time we can invite Justine and make a match of it, like Cops n' Robbers." That comment saw the tip of the baton aimed at his face once more, but at the same time his phone's alarm went off, no doubt sparing him another scathing comment. A quick look showed that it was a reminder to catch the last train. "Well, I gotta go. Let's get you back."
"Right. I've spent too long here, anyway." Taking up her bag, she sped past him, ushering him along as she did. "Double-time, Inmate!"
"Where'll you keep those, Caroline?" Ren asked as the approached the door just outside the Promenade. "That incense is evidence, isn't it?"
"What, this?" she asked, indicating the bag in her hand. "Officially, you gave them to me. You were just so desperate for my help that you begged me to accompany you."
Ren simply stared at her in stony disbelief.
"Here." She handed it to him, only to snatch it back the moment he got a good grip. "There. Simple enough, right?"
For a second he considered offering to keep them at home to take the edge off. Alas, he was exhausted, and the train was due any minute. All that in mind, he simply nodded. "Best of luck."
Caroline returned the nod as the Velvet Room door swung open, blanketing the street in a thick, ethereal fog. "Enjoy the rest of your break, Inmate. And don't make us have to come get you next time!" Without giving him even a second to speak, she left, quickly vanishing into the billowing fog. The instant she was out of sight both the fog and the door vanished as well, leaving Ren alone in the humid night. It was odd, being alone again for the first time in so long.
Opting not to dwell on it, he turned and headed for the platform.
Back at LeBlanc, during his nightly catch-up session with Morgana, his phone went off one last time, again receiving a call from the Velvet Room.
"Again?" Morgana asked, wincing in anticipation. "Can you turn the volume down, at least?"
Ignoring that for now, Ren braced himself and put the phone to his ear.
"Inmate."
Five minutes this time.
"I wish to remind you that while we do manage your personas, the Velvet Room is not a storage facility. Return at once for the items you left behind." Her voice, though quiet and level as ever, carried just a twinge of anger; they'd been found out.
"It'll have to be tomorrow; the last trains have already run."
A sigh. "Always with an excuse… Retrieve them as soon as you can, lest they be destroyed." With that, Justine hung up.
Ren heaved a sigh of his own before setting the phone aside and laying down for bed. He'd gotten off easy, he knew that much, but some part of him was worried about Caroline having to deal with her sister's wrath. On the upside, he was too tired to let it bug him much.
"You've got it rough, huh?" Morgana asked, curling up beside him. "And we've gotta meet them tomorrow?"
"Just for a bit," Ren said around a hearty yawn. "I'm an… accomplice…" A second later, he was out cold, leaving the perplexed cat to his speculations.
The Velvet Room let him be that night.