Wounds to Bind Chapter 8 – 'One might call habit a moral friction: something that prevents the mind from gliding over things.'– Georg C. Lichtenberg
Saturday, June 18 – CPOV
"Release," I spoke into the Bluetooth microphone attached to my lapel.
Our tow pilot released the glider. We soared, catching the thermals.
"What do you think?" I wish I could see Flynn's face.
"No engine noise…incredible view…I thought I would have an anxiety attack when the tow plane released us. How long is a normal flight?" Flynn gasped from time to time at the scenic flight.
"I like to soar for at least an hour, unless the thermals are exceptional," I chuckled. "Instructional flights are usually about twenty minutes. If soaring conditions are good, a flight can last for hours."
"Hours," Flynn murmured.
"Take the controls," I tell Flynn.
"Whatttt…" he stammered.
"Take the controls. Get a feel for the glider." I gave Flynn the controls for a long minute. "Taking back control," I warn him. "Hang on," I guide us into a loop. Flynn screams like a fifteen-year-old girl. "Anastasia didn't scream like that," I tease him. "I'm heading toward some thermals. I'll use them to gain altitude and we can soar a little longer."
Flynn is quiet, lost in watching the world and the sky. I am quiet also. I wish I had Anastasia with me, on my birthday. A good luck kiss would have started the day. I would have kissed her senseless on the way home and quickly bedded her. If I had the option, I'd give her one orgasm for every year of my life and share my birthday spanking with her.
Oh fuck, don't think about sensual spankings or birthday blow jobs. I'm lost in the memory of a scene I wanted to play with Anastasia. In my fantasy, I put thigh cuffs on me, put her on her knees, restrained her wrists to my thighs, blindfolded her and used her mouth for almost an hour. Every time I edged, I would order her to hold me in her mouth, not moving tongue or lips. I would tell her the various positions we would explore that weekend, with various toys, on various furniture. Her moans of anticipation made me explode in her hot wet mouth. We would spoon and nap before I reloaded and fucked her unconscious, thanking her for every orgasm, every pleasure she shared with me. I shift to relieve the pressure of the semi in my pants and concentrate on soaring.
Ninety minutes later, we're done soaring for the day. "Heading back to the field," I warn Flynn. "When we set down, there will be a bump and the glider will shoot forward until the momentum is gone and we come to stop."
When we stop, I release the canopy and we climb out. We remove our parachutes before Taylor arrives in a Range Rover to take us back to the airport.
"What did you think?" I grinned at Flynn.
"Brilliant!" Flynn gushed. "I can see why you like soaring! Thank you for sharing this experience with me. The silence and the visibility – I could really hear my own thoughts and heartbeat. Soaring is almost as much fun as sex."
"Don't remind me," I warned Flynn. I could hear my own thoughts while soaring also. The color of the sky reminded me of Anastasia's blue eyes. The puffy white clouds reminded me of her alabaster skin. I struggled to ignore thoughts of Anastasia and the semi in my pants.
XXX
Striker reported on Anastasia's day. She tries on ball gowns, and has her hair and nails done. Striker hacks the car service the Kavanaghs hired. The Kavanaghs hired a limousine to transport them to Coping Together at Grey Manor, Bellevue. Passengers in the limo will be Mr. and Mrs. Eamon Kavanagh, Ethan Kavanagh and Anastasia Steele. I access Mom's ticket database for Coping Together. Almost three months ago, the Kavanaghs purchased four tickets for tonight's event. Anastasia must be using the ticket meant for Katherine, since she and Elliot have not returned from Barbados.
There are no tickets available for the event for Striker or his men. The staff for the event have been vetted. I assure Striker, my men can observe Anastasia once she steps out of the limo and onto the Grey Manor property. I cannot bring, or assign them anywhere without Welch and Taylor asking questions.
I swear after severing the call. I race toward the bedroom, yelling at Taylor as I go. "Taylor, tuxedo, we're attending Coping Together. Leaving in thirty minutes. Get Ryan for backup to park the SUV by Dad's garages." I dress, post haste, in my tux. I have a mask from previous events. Fuck – I must call Mom while enroute and tell her I cleared my schedule. I'll be there before the cocktail hour ends.
XXX – APOV
The limo ride is fun, Eamon and Celeste keep me in stitches over Elliot's attempts to get Kate to try a zipline. She negotiated horseback rides in lieu of the zipline. Elliot wrote down ten things he wanted to do and ten things he refused to do. She did the same. Then they compared lists. Celeste comments they are learning the art of negotiation.
I remember negotiations with Christian…dinner at the Heathman…champagne after graduation. 'STOP. RED.'
Celeste has hundreds of Kate and Elliot pictures to share, but suggests I view the Barbados album on Kate's Facebook page. Eventually the limo halts and we exit. Tuxedo clad valets direct us to queue for photographs before we enter.
I stay close to Ethan as we walk a hunter green outdoor carpet past a mansion. Gold lanterns glow softly against a darkening sky. I am comfortable in the navy silk gown with a navy silk wrap which Celeste picked for me. The strapless and mermaid style hugs my few curves. She selected the sapphire stud earrings and bracelet plus the navy lace pumps and a matching handbag. I know where Kate learned her expertise at dressing me.
The sheer material and navy lace mask highlight my eyes. The aestheticians at the spa listened to my request for soft, natural makeup with a pop of berry lip gloss. They styled my hair in big bouncy curls and waves. They took the two sides of my hair in front of my ears and tucked them behind my ears, using a hair tie to hold the hair securely at the nape of my neck. The hair tie is hidden under the curls, letting the sapphire studs shine in my ears. I didn't say anything, but I was secretly glad Celeste does not use Esclava Salons, but prefers Elaia at the Hyatt.
We pause for pictures, waiting for the crowd to move toward the large dance floor and marquee. A large ice sculpture in the middle of the dance floor announces Coping Together. Why does that sound familiar?
'Fuckety-Fuckety-Fuckety-Fuck,' I swear to myself and plaster on a smile. Coping Together…at the home of Carrick and Grace Grey. 'At least I'm not sans culottes tonight. Why didn't I research the event and location BEFORE I said yes? Oh well, Christian claims he never attends these things. If I stay close to Ethan and don't seek the Grey family out, will no one know I am here?'
I concentrate on Ethan and his conversation while we queue. After separate pictures, we gather on the large dance floor. Ethan introduces me to personal friends and networks with Kavanagh Media clients and colleagues. Eventually when we enter the marquee, I come face-to-face with Grace.
"Dr. Trevelyan, since Kate and Elliot are still in Barbados, Ana agreed to use Kate's ticket for tonight." Ethan segued into introductions easily.
"You look lovely," Grace hesitantly hugs me. I hug her back. This is the woman who was embarrassed yet delighted to meet me when she appeared unannounced at Christian's penthouse. This is the woman who was eager to introduce me to her husband and daughter when Christian took me to dinner at their home.
"Thank you," I greeted her affectionately. She is not at fault because her son is an arse.
"I didn't know you planned to attend," Grace brushed a straggling tendril of my hair over one shoulder, like a concerned mother. I love her maternal instincts instantly. She must be one hell of a doctor. "I would have put you at the table with us. Christian managed to clear his schedule at the last minute."
"I didn't know I was attending until the last minute, either. Dad finished the work at the condo and went home to Montesano. Celeste insisted I raid her stash of gowns and use Kate's ticket," I explained. "Who would I unseat if I sat at your table?"
"Elena Lincoln, however, she could sit at the donor table," Grace looked uncomfortable.
"Best not then, I don't believe Mrs. Lincoln would appreciate my taking her place." I meant a double entendre of which Grace was unaware.
"Your mask really accents your eyes." Grace complimented me.
"Thank you, Celeste handcrafted the mask for me. I think Celeste and Kate love playing dress up with me." I returned her smile. Then I feel a zap…sizzle… crackle …Christian is in attendance. 'Can he feel me? Does he know I am here? Can he feel me the way I feel him when we are in proximity to one another? Does he feel the connection which existed between us?'
"We're showing Ana a good time since she and Ray worked so hard to organize the condo this week," Ethan smooth explanation did not calm troubled waters.
Grace's smile faltered a little. "We would love to meet Ray sometime. Do come over to the table and circulate between courses. Carrick and Mia would love to see you. I want to introduce you to Christian's grandparents."
"We can try, but Christian always has hundreds of people to meet and greet at these things. We wouldn't want to intrude," Ethan intervened. "I see Mom and Dad found our table. Please excuse us." He led me to a table, which, unfortunately, has line of sight to the Greys' table. Fortunately, I'm profile to their table, so maybe… depending on where Christian sits…he won't see me.
'Silly me…' Grace points out where I'm seated. Christian takes one look and changes places with his sister so he can watch me. 'Inner goddess: please help me use the right fork. I don't need Christian glaring at me because he thinks I'm not eating enough. I certainly will watch my alcohol intake. I have no intention of throwing up, passing out, or being bedded by Christian.'
Eamon and Celeste introduce me to everyone at our table. Our tablemates ignore me, I'm just Ethan's date as far as they are concerned. Suits me. I'd love to fly under the radar here. I feel a pair of grey eyes tracking my movements from time to time. I've done very well tonight if I say so myself. I get self-conscious at restaurants which use more than one fork in their place settings. So far, I have yet to use the wrong silverware. The meal is excellent, the wine tastings are interesting. I don't take more than a sip of each. I keep the servers from pouring more than a quarter of a glass for each course. However, I keep my water glass full.
Ethan hands me the auction card and we laugh over the offerings. He explains the auctions are great PR for the donors, in addition to claiming the donation as a tax deduction. The cost of the dinner tickets is tax deductible because Coping Together is a nonprofit entity.
I'd love to own the first edition of Pride and Prejudice, but not for the twenty thousand dollar winning bid. Ethan pays attention to the bids for the Mariners' package. I can't concentrate on the auction. I'm disturbed by the spa day for two offered by Esclava Salon, Bravern Center. I'll bet Christian separated his worlds by sending his submissives to Post Alley during the week and Frannie, Grace and Mia to Bravern on weekends.
The Kelly Trouton painting reminds me of the interview. The soaring lesson on the auction card reminds me of our only date in Savannah. The weekend for two at the Heathman reminds me of the club night. A week at a lodge in Aspen, offered by Christian, sleeps six. I doubt if Aspen has a red room of pain. Christian probably sent his family there and stayed behind to work out his kinks without family interruptions.
Instead of wallowing in the misery of remembrances, I text Kate, stating she's missing all the fun. Kate texts she prefers her champagne, naked, with Elliot, on a dark, starlit balcony. I blush and bite my lip to keep from laughing. I put my new smart phone in my clutch. Is Christian glaring at me…or at my new smart phone? After a moment of exchanging glares at one another, I flip my hair over my shoulder, straighten my shoulders and engage in the conversation at my table.
XXX – CPOV
It's been fourteen days since I've talked to her. I want to talk to her, hold her, tell her I need her and swear I will never hurt her again. I want her with me. She looks sexy and elegant in her strapless gown which hugs her in places I want to kiss and touch. Fuck me...her lace mask makes me want to find a length of navy-blue lace to tie over her eyes…just to see her closed eyes and long eyelashes through the lace. God, my cock hardens thinking about her mouth that first morning together at Escala. If I could get her to participate in the First Dance auction…we could dance and talk. I could get her upstairs to my room, slowly stripping her gown off those delicate curves. Should I send the champagne servers to her table with orders to keep her glass filled? Will champagne make her dance…
"What?" I stutter as Elena interrupts my fantasy. "Sorry, my mind was on business. I'm fine, thanks...been busy at work...no time to socialize. The end of the fiscal year approaches. Ros and I are determining what to finish this year and what to postpone until next year." Poor Taylor collected business cards from fuckers who use this event to talk business.
"No," Grandma Frannie sets her champagne glass down on the table with a bit of a thump, anger coloring her face. "No talking about business tonight. I'm glad you're here but I want to watch you enjoy yourself for once."
"Business is pleasure," Elena sniped.
"Business is BORRRRING," Mia agreed with Grandma Frannie. "We're doing a good deed for Coping Together. Christian, if Ana participates in the First Dance Auction, will you stay longer than dinner before you run away?"
"Ana's here?" Elena's cold voice didn't escape my notice. "Do summon her over to our table. I've so wanted to meet her since Grace mentioned the family dinner."
"She's sitting with the Kavanaghs," Grace pointed Ana out to Theo and Frannie.
"She's very pretty," Frannie agrees. "Do ask her to participate in the First Dance Auction, Mia. I'd love to see her dance with Christian."
"Christian doesn't dance with anyone at these things, Mia," Elena announced in her determined Domme voice. "I absolutely forbid you to force him to dance. You know he doesn't like to be touched."
"Excuse me," Grandma Frannie's intake of alcohol loosened her tongue. "Perhaps I missed the announcement at a family dinner. I wasn't aware you were promoted from Christian's business partner to his private security bulldog."
"Mom," Grace started to rebuke her, but Mia interrupted.
"He would bid…First Dance Auction is for a good cause," Mia argued.
"Mia, I would be pleased to stay and bid for the First Dance Auction, if you can convince Anastasia to participate." I stare at Elena, communicating non-verbally to STFU now before Grace starts to wonder what is going on?
XXX – APOV
"Christian really wants you to do this." Mia played hardball, attempting to make me agree.
"Does he now?" I sipped my champagne. "Perhaps your parents should have explained the word NO to him when he was young. Please loan me your phone so I can text Christian. My response is quite colorful."
"Colorful?" Mia questioned, handing the phone to me, primed to contact Christian.
"Mr. Grey, I'd rather play tag with RED and YELLOW street lights than allow myself to be bought by strangers for their pleasure and enjoyment. Sincerely, Miss Steele." I hand the phone back to Mia. "I don't care if Christian replies; I don't want to see his reply."
"The First Dance Auction is for a good cause," Mia protested. "Besides, Christian wouldn't announce today is his birthday. You can dance with him, and probably even give him a birthday kiss."
"I won't fight off every woman here who wants to dance with him and kiss him also…no thanks!" I snapped. "I'm not very ladylike when I fight. I don't intend to cause a scene or start a riot."
Mia laughs. "Mom wouldn't like that either. She would be reminded of when Christian was thrown out of school for brawling."
"Christian doesn't need me as an excuse to donate to Coping Together. I won't change my mind Mia, please don't badger me." I look away, and not toward the Grey table.
Ethan waited for Mia to walk away before he spoke. "You would raise a lot of money. I'll bet there are dozens of men here who would bid to dance with you. I would bid to dance with you."
"No one here has the deep pockets of Christian Grey. He would outbid everyone to ensure he won the First Dance Auction. I don't care to be a sacrificial lamb. I don't want fifty business men requesting a dance in hopes I can arrange an appointment to talk business with the elusive Mr. Grey." I stressed quietly and with as much dignity as I can.
"Did we make a mistake by asking you to come?" Ethan searched my face.
"No, I didn't research the event, venue or charity before I said yes. Lesson learned. Research, think once, think twice, overthink and be proactive, not reactive." I smiled at him. He's such a good friend.
"So, what will you do during the First Dance Auction since you aren't participating?" Ethan asked.
"Find a powder room," I vowed.
XXX – CPOV
While Flynn and I talk, I get Anastasia's text. I laugh despite her rejection. That smart mouth of hers will get her in trouble. I'd like to throw her over my shoulder, haul her to my old bedroom and fuck her smart mouth.
"Laughter? That's an unusual response coming from you." Flynn questioned my response.
I share the text with Flynn who laughs also. I ordered Barney, via text, to erase Mia's text messages to my phone so no one asks questions they shouldn't.
"A word to the wise," Flynn counseled. "Keep anyone who makes you laugh and look happy at her contact."
"I know laughter is not enough; Leila used to make me laugh. Anastasia brings out feelings I never knew I had. Keep me on the straight and narrow Obi Wan." I fervently beg Flynn.
XXX – 3PPOV
Elena's eyes narrowed when she saw Christian laughing with Dr. Flynn. Ever since he terminated with Susannah, she felt like he was slipping from her control. Since the WSUV and gallery pictures, too many society girls honed in on him. Including his damned assistant PA, Olivia Blandino. A picture of Christian dancing with Anastasia Steele at a charity event would be a ticking time bomb. He was easier to manage when he kept everyone, including his family, at arm's length. He was easier to manage when the public thought he was gay. She needed to remove Anastasia from Christian's life…but how? She needed one good picture of Anastasia screwing one of Christian's business adversaries to squash his desire for her.
XXX – 3PPOV
Eamon and Celeste approached the head table where the Grey family was seated. "You know the drill?" Eamon asked Celeste quietly.
"I take a chair next to Frannie and Grace. I show the Barbados pictures which are on my phone. I show the ones of Kate and Elliot first. Christian will be bored. You swoop in and talk business with him." Celeste recounted the plan.
"Go Team Kavanagh," he beamed and escorted Celeste to the Grey table.
"Grey," Eamon intoned and shook his hand.
"Kavanagh," Grey shook his hand.
"I'm surprised to see you stay so long tonight. You usually depart charity events after dinner and before the dancing. Nothing in your mergers and acquisitions world needs managed?" Eamon deliberately asked a question to needle Grey.
"Must we talk business?" Grey demands impatiently. "I thought GEH handled your company's fiber optics needs this week."
"We can talk business or be bored by Kate and Elliot vacation pictures," Eamon refrained from rolling his eyes. "I would remain at our table but there's only so much drama I can take."
"Drama?" Grey's carefully constructed persona slipped a little.
"We had an extra ticket for tonight's event because Kate is in Barbados. We invited Ana as a thank you for the hard work she and Ray accomplished at the condo this week. My god, the man is amazing! Installing doors and organizational units, painting rooms, repairing items, and building furniture. When Elliot has a short deadline and needs an extra hand, he is considering hiring Ray. Anyway, Ethan hoped tonight's festivities would help Ana get her mind off her job. While counseling Ana is good exercise for Ethan's future practice, so far none of his suggestions or her efforts are working. I'm seriously considering buying SIP so I can fire her asshole boss and make her life easier." Eamon sighed.
"Asshole boss?" Grey seethed.
" You know how taciturn Ana is. She doesn't talk about herself. Her boss invades her personal space to ask personal questions. Ray asked Ethan to help keep Hyde away from Ana." Eamon sipped his drink. "I predict Seattle Independent Printers will be in freefall before fiscal year 2013 begins. The emphasis on e-books will continue to erode Roach's publishing business unless he engages in serious reorganization. The business is top heavy with management. SIP's editors need educated in acquiring and promoting e-books to make SIP the publishing company in the Northwest."
"You're considering buying SIP?" Grey wondered why Kavanagh was so forthcoming.
"I am but several members of my board are promoting a different offer." Eamon shrugged. "I have preliminary information for a SIP buyout. I must make a decision and soon. Either a podcast with national play and an established fan base or SIP would fill a niche market for us."
"Is SIP a company which would interest me?" Grey and Ros planned to acquire SIP. He would exercise due diligence acquiring the information which Kavanagh prepared.
"Well, you buy and fix ailing companies. However, I don't know how Ana will react, considering how things are between the two of you right now. She might worry about you firing her." Eamon observed Grey.
"I would be more interested in turning the company around so she could remain gainfully employed versus buying SIP as a reason to fire her." Grey snapped. "How do you know how things are between us?"
"She told Ethan you two are taking a break. When you've only been together for one month, she offered a polite excuse for a terminated relationship." He observed Grey flinch. "If you're interested, I'll messenger our preliminary research first thing Monday morning. Unless you can meet tomorrow morning? If you come to my office at ten for coffee, you can examine our preliminary materials. If you decide acquiring SIP interests you, then you are welcome to take our preliminary materials. Tomorrow is Father's Day and I must act oblivious about Ethan's and Kate's surprise. I'm hiding out at the office in the morning."
XXX – TPOV
"Boss…" I showed him the tweet which announced his extended presence at Coping Together.
"Fuck!" Grey swore. "Call Ryan, tell him to meet us at the top of the driveway. We'll leave as quietly as possible, to avoid the paparazzi. We can stop at Grey House and pick up some work. I need to say goodbye to my family."
XXX – APOV
"Miss Steele," Sawyer appeared out of the dark. "Dr. Trevelyan asked me to escort you to the house to use the powder rooms there. She didn't want you to stand in line."
"Thank you, Sawyer, but I'm quite comfortable standing in the queue. At least this time I'm not drunk dialing Christian. I intend to use the facilities without a bodyguard standing outside the bathroom door. I think you guys draw more attention than necessary." I'm polite, but firm in my refusal.
"I'm sorry, but Dr. Trevelyan insists," Sawyer stepped close to me and lowered his voice. "You are flying under the radar with Katherine Kavanagh's ticket. Dr. Trevelyan doesn't want the media discovering you are here and take questionable pictures. Paparazzi are gathering outside the gates to the estate."
"Fine," I sighed. "I don't understand how anyone recognized me. No one here knows me other than the Kavanaghs, the Greys and Christian's security team. My place card says Katherine Kavanagh. I was introduced to the people at our table as Ethan's friend."
"Dr. Trevelyan guarantees you will not be accosted in any way. Mr. Grey does not know she asked me to escort you." Sawyer offers his arm, and I accept. There's no sense being a bitch when he and Grace are watching out for me. No one gives us a second glance as we stroll to the house.
"You look very nice in your tux and your mask." I compliment him.
"You have turned quite a few heads tonight yourself, Miss Steele." He grins and leads me to a pair of French doors which open onto the patio.
When I exit the powder room, I looked for Christian and his family. None of them are in sight. I checked my voicemail and emails. Kate may have heard from Mia and I was curious. I make my way toward the French doors where Sawyer stood outside, his back to the house. I am intercepted by a masked bleached blonde in her early fifties who eyes me from head to toe. Sliding out of a darkened room, she was obviously waiting for me.
"Drunk dialing Christian?" She sneered. "I hope he properly punished you when he rescued your drunk ass. I know he doesn't like drunks."
I hit the record conversation app on my phone. "Eavesdrop much?" I gave her the once over also. "Oh, that's right…you listen to everyone's dirty little secrets and confessions over the shampoo bowl, don't you?"
"Elena Lincoln," she purred at me, offering her blood-red tipped mangy paw.
I ignored her offered hand. Maybe if I kept my arms frozen to my sides, I wouldn't slap Christian's malevolent molester.
"Since you and Christian are no longer involved, would you be interested in working for me? I could offer you a lucrative contract. Of course, there would be a rigorous training period where you would develop acceptable manners to please my clientele." I recognize the look on her face, which mirrors Christian's joyful face in the RROP when he talked about reward and punishment.
"Rigorous training? Tell me, after a spanking by hand and then by belt…what is the next form of punishment? Whips? Canes? Followed by a hard fuck to show me who is the Master?" I snapped at her.
"If you were properly trained, you could make a great deal of money. Christian's standard gifts of car, electronics, jewelry and clothes were probably life changing since you just graduated from college and are working at your first real job. Too bad you didn't hang in there until he terminated with you. He would have paid off your student loans and given you a generous parting settlement to go away and never come near him again. You obviously hope he'll abandon his lifestyle and reconcile with you since you're attending a charity event you can't possibly afford socially or financially. How much is Celeste paying you to model this evening and do you keep the dress and the jewels?" Mrs. Robinson purred.
"I came as a friend of the Kavanagh family, not as a paid escort, Mrs. Robinson. Check with your boy toy…Christian will tell you I don't want anything from him. I left the car and electronics at Escala when I departed." I replied. Jewelry and clothes? WTF? OH, YEAH. 'If you follow these rules to my satisfaction, I shall reward you.' Obviously, the jewelry reference. I forgot he told me the closet was full of clothes and he didn't want to hear any arguments from me. Pay off my student loans...generous parting settlement? No wonder he doesn't have any problem finding women who are willing to 'play' in the RROP.
Mrs. Robinson laughed a twinkly faux laugh, often heard at cocktail parties in film noir movies Dad likes to watch. "Yes, Christian told me you called me that. I'm flattered, Anne Bancroft was an elegant lady."
"Mrs. Robinson is the politest name I can call you. Christian was fifteen when you molested him, not twenty-one like Dustin Hoffman's character." I elucidate. "Do you always prey on underage youth?"
"I would not be so dismissive. Your youth and inexperience were an aphrodisiac to Christian. I'm sure bedding a virgin and training her to his exacting tastes intrigued him. However, Christian is too busy running Grey House to train you, no matter how you pander to his ego. He needs an experienced submissive who knows how to be discreet." Elena's ugly face mirrored her ugly comments.
"Too bad I didn't demand a nondisclosure agreement to keep Christian's mouth shut! I'm not one of the submissives you vetted for him. He had NO REASON to discuss me with you!" I hope she understood my intention. "I'm not a submissive. I won't follow your commands or his."
"I told him you wouldn't understand our lifestyle!" She snapped.
"I understand more than you think I do. Christian ordered me to do the research. As a Summa Cum Laude graduate, I understand what I read. You used Grace to discover Christian's vulnerabilities so you could groom him. You lied about the lifestyle. You didn't tell him safe, sane, consensual, adult relationships don't have to be kept secret. You didn't tell him he could have hard limits and safe words. You didn't tell him he could terminate with you at any time without punishment or penalty. You blackmailed him into continuing the relationship by threatening to out him to his family."
"You don't understand our history…our connection!" She hissed.
"I understand you are a predator. You're no better than a forty-year-old man who wants to fuck a fifteen-year-old cheerleader." I watch the flash of annoyance on her face. "What you don't understand is: I'm not interested in either of Christian's lifestyles…the billionaire nor the Dominant. You are delusional if you think I'm interested in whoring for the sexual predator who introduced Christian to his BDSM lifestyle. I suggest you stay the hell away from me. My nondisclosure agreement will not prevent me from informing Carrick and Grace about you trolling for working girls and clients at their favorite charity event." I step away from the conversation heading toward Sawyer.
"You dare threaten me, you little mouse!" Elena jeered. "You are no match for me. I've been putting little girls like you in their place for a long time."
"Using a whip and handcuffs, no doubt." I give her one last dismissive look. "Let me give you a word of advice, Mrs. Robinson…make sure you don't accidentally fall down in those six-inch stilettos. Considering how much plastic surgery you've had…I imagine the bones and connective tissue in your face are quite fragile and will not heal properly. How long has it been since your old ass bagged a hot, horny teenage boy?" I exited the house, turning off the conversation app and saving the recording.
I wanted to piss Elena off…if Christian were here…I would stop at his table, grab a handful of those copper curls, tilt Christian's head back and plant a birthday kiss on his lips. I bet a picture of him getting liplocked by a masked stranger would sell a lot of copies and enrich Coping Together's coffers. Then I realized…if I don't want to kiss Christian because I need to feel his lips on mine…then I should not kiss him to aggravate Elena. I will not use him.
I asked Sawyer to deliver me to the Kavanaghs. I threatened a knee-jerk reaction to his private parts if he attempted to deter me from my friends.
"May I have this dance?" A tall, elegant man with a British accent asked. I sat alone at the table, watching Eamon and Celeste dance and laugh with one another while Carrick and Grace danced and laughed also. Ethan talked with Mia Grey.
"Thank you for asking, but I don't know you," I replied. "I don't dance with strangers."
"If we danced and talked, we wouldn't be strangers. I'd like the opportunity to get to know you better, Anastasia Steele," he smiled sincerely.
"Ah," recognition overwhelmed me. "The expensive charlatan…"
"At your service milady," Flynn bowed. "You can safely dance with me. Grey left. He won't be here to cut in on the dance."
"Christian left?" I scoffed.
"He said he had work to do," Dr. Flynn repeated Christian's excuse.
I couldn't help myself. I snorted in derision. "Work… his excuse for slipping away from events." But this time he doesn't have a submissive waiting in the red room of pain. I bite my lip. I shouldn't be so jaded.
"Do you think he's avoiding you?" Flynn studies my face; I find his examination disconcerting.
I dropped my voice to not be overheard again. "Christian goes to what he knows. Avoiding strong emotions is a specialty. He would rather have sex than talk. He'd rather buy me something than answer questions. He'd rather play in the red room of pain than socialize like a normal human being. Might I have your phone number? I have a conversation I would like you to hear." I sent him the conversation between Mrs. Robinson and myself.
His face blanched as he heard the recording. He was speechless when the recording ended.
"I can't be what Christian wants. I won't be what Mrs. Robinson wants. I just want to be left alone." Ethan joined our table again. "Chat with my friend. Ethan wants to join the expensive charlatan club." I left the table in search of the powder rooms. I just need to splash some cool water on my face and compose myself.
Sawyer tried to intercept me. "Don't even think about it." I hissed in his direction. "Grace said I wouldn't be accosted last time. Where the hell were you when that mangy cougar, Elena Lincoln, tried to recruit me for her stable since Christian and I aren't together anymore?"
"What did she say to you?" Sawyer demanded.
"Sadistic crap legitimized by flowery prose," I quoted Simon Tan from Firefly. "I think she is salivating to sell me to someone who will beat the shit out of me. I obviously pissed her off because I was briefly with Christian."
Sawyer gasped and reached for his phone while I queued in line for the luxury portable bathrooms set up for the event.
I'm glad the Kavanaghs wanted an early night and didn't stay for the fireworks. Cinderella was home from her first ball just after midnight. I wash my face, brush my hair into a ponytail, wear new pajamas and climb into my bed. The softness of my new bed linens seems decadent and luxurious to me. I will enjoy sleeping, by myself, in my own bed, in a room which hasn't housed fifteen submissives before me. My clean room feels warm and comfortable; not a cold white room in an ivory tower where the prince turns into the beast and beats my ass. 'I won't think about Coping Together. Welcome to your world…welcome to your life.' I thought wryly before drifting off to sleep.
XXX – CPOV
Taylor drives me to Grey House to collect paperwork. This is not how I envisioned this evening ending. We arrive at Escala just before midnight. I'm in the gym upstairs, running until my legs are rubber. I shower; I pour a glass of orange juice and go to the piano to play. My brain is on autopilot as my fingers caress the keys. I think of Anastasia that Saturday morning. I should have buried myself in her on the top of my piano rather than let the monster have his way. I'm supposed to be in control of myself, where did I go wrong? I find no answers and watch as the sky brightens the horizon and a new day begins.