Wounds to Bind Chapter 16 – 'After all these years, I am still involved in the process of self-discovery. It's better to explore life and make mistakes than to play it safe. Mistakes are part of the dues one pays for a full life.' –Sophia Loren
July 19, very early in the morning – APOV
'I eat sweet things…' Christian kissed down my torso. His tongue is ruthless as he torments my slit over and over. I stiffen as his fingers thrust inside me. He makes me whimper with need. 'Come for me baby,' he orders before I detonate around him. His mouth eagerly sucks at me, kissing up my groin to my hipbones, to my breasts. 'See how good we are together? If you submit to me, it will be so much better. Trust me, Anastasia, I can take you places you don't even know exist.' Our foreheads touch and he stares into my eyes, 'Please say yes to being mine.' My body convulses…
…and I am awake. Jeez, I had another Christian Grey induced wet dream.
July 19, very early in the morning – CPOV
'Fuck the paperwork,' I growl, holding her hands above her head. I'm fucking her hard in the elevator, burying myself in her again and again. She feels amazing. She smells tantalizing. She tastes sweet. One hand holds hers, but she tilts her lips up to meet mine. She blushes, making me want her more. I grind into her, over and over. She cannot move, she moans as I thrust deeper into her. 'You. Are. Mine. Come. For. Me. Anastasia.' She moans, clenching me in that hot, sweet, wet, tight way she has…and I follow her lead, exploding. 'Fuck yes! This is what I want…'
…and I wake with a shout. Damn it… another Anastasia induced wet dream.
July 19 – APOV
The editorial staff meeting this morning leaves both Jack and me with a long list of work to do. We'll be working closely with Marketing and PR between now and February to plan the launch of a new book in Las Vegas in March. Jack insists we have a working lunch after the editorial meeting today. The Grey Annex cafeteria sends a sandwich cart through the building from 11-2. Claire calls me when the cart comes to our floor. I sign for our lunches, retrieve coffee for Jack and a bottle of cold green tea for me. Jack gives me a synopsis of what a book launch entails. We worked through action items, calendared meetings and covered the list of memos sent by HR, Fiscal, Editorial, Marketing/PR and Mr. Roach during our lunch hour. Additionally, Jack and I create a Skype contact list for all his authors. Jack orders me to seek a book conference we can attend in the next three months.
I'm instantly on high alert when Jack rises and closes his door. WTF?
"Ana, I know Mr. Roach insisted you attend the open house. I thought ordering you to stay away from the ceremony would protect you from unwanted interest by Mr. Grey. Please let me know if I'm misreading the situation." He opened the door and thanked me for working through lunch. He hands me the Seattle Times from yesterday and dismisses me.
I escape to the women's bathroom. What the hell was that conversation about? The Seattle Times has pictures of the grand opening. Christian Grey and staff at the Grand Opening of Grey Publishing. Prominently featured are pictures of Christian circulating during the Grand Opening. Included is a picture where I'm handing Christian a plate and napkin while Emily holds the platter of food.
Part of me thinks we look fabulous together. He's wearing a gray Brioni suit, white shirt and THAT tie. I'm wearing my charcoal gray linen dress with silver jewelry. My hair looks healthy and glossy, tumbling around my shoulders. The happy and healthy girl in the picture looks good in proximity to Christian Grey.
I'm even more confused when I return to my desk and check my email. There is an email from Dr. Flynn, asking me to come to his office on Wednesday night during Christian's regular session. He reminds me I claimed I had a busy schedule until July twentieth. I quickly reply and plan to delete both the received and sent email as quickly as possible.
Email from Anastasia Steele to John Flynn:
Thank you for the offer to attend counseling with Christian. However, I must remind you about contacting me at my place of employment. I gave you my personal email in my previous note delivered to your office. I will be available tomorrow evening, seven o'clock. I do not require directions to your office.
Elizabeth has yet to tell me about the parking spot. I would ask what her issue is, but I don't have the energy to deal with her bullshit today. I emailed the support staff. I explain I have an assigned parking place which I plan to use regularly on Friday and intermittently as needed. I asked if there is someone who would like to share the space with me. I get back a response almost immediately from the new support staff who works for IT.
Jessica works Monday through Thursday. She has Fridays off for computer labs on the UDub campus. She would love to use my parking space when I don't. She says if I need the space during the week to contact her before work. She'll park in general parking that day. She agrees to meet me at Security during last break. We will add her car information to my space so she doesn't get ticketed or towed.
I'm shocked when I meet her. We could be sisters. I wonder if she's an ex of Christian's. Then I remind myself…he swore he doesn't have sex with staff when he told me about Mrs. Jones. I'm now staff...I need to quit thinking about wet dreams with Christian Grey.
July 20 – APOV
Everyone is warned when they enter Grey Publishing about the section meetings today. At nine the editors will meet in one small conference room. Support staff in another. IT will meet in the IT main office. Mailroom staff in their main office. Mr. Roach will meet with the editors this morning for reassignments. He will meet with Finance, HR and Management this afternoon.
Amber led the editorial support staff meeting. There are six of us for eight editors. No one discusses why five editors are gone. Instead of genre editors, Grey Publishing now has a senior editor (Mr. Roach), developmental editor, commissioning editor, evaluation editor (who will supervise the four remaining beta readers), copy editor, content editor, data editor (who will fact check, examines tables, citations, legends and indexing), and style/structure editor. The editors are meeting with Mr. Roach right now. Amber distributes a list of the editor positions and the occupant.
When someone asks why Wendy is no longer with us, Amber replies we'll discuss that in due time. Amber segues into editorial assignments. She will continue with the developmental editor and provide additional support as needed to the senior editor, Mr. Roach. She will continue as the senior editorial assistant. I'm still assigned to Jack, the commissioning editor. Since Jack always insists I attend editorial meetings, I will be her backup for editorial meeting work. Amber assures me working lunches will be easier since we're in Grey Annex with a cafeteria and a sandwich cart. Amber covers everyone's work assignments.
Amber reminds us the archived manuscripts are in offsite storage. Manuscripts to be archived are sent to IT rather than the mailroom. Anyone who needs a hard copy of an archived manuscript submits a request form to IT, who has a working day to provide the manuscript. Amber finishes the meeting by discussing the new GP procedure manual. She assures us she discussed the procedure manual with Grey House HR. The procedures for the editorial assistants are current. We no longer have to save a clandestine copy on a flash drive. A blank copy of every form we need is included in the manual. Amber provides the link to find the forms folder on the new server. Amber's last words to us are a warning…fraternization between supervisors and subordinates is prohibited. Both parties will be terminated. Suddenly we understand why there has been a mass clearing of staff at Grey Publishing.
'I wish Jack Hyde's invasion of my personal space was included in the list of no-go activities!' I fervently wish. I take great pleasure in tossing Elizabeth's crap-filled procedures manual in recycling. I store the new one in its place. I wish Amber had addressed my ridiculous micromanagement schedule.
XXX
When the decision to Skype Dr. Flynn hits me…I spend travel time ensuring my room is clean and well organized. Bed made, closet doors closed, bedroom door closed. Christian will not see anything I don't want him to see. I wear one of my new casual Friday tops. I fixed my hair in a side ponytail and apply a swipe of lip gloss. I've put off connecting to Flynn as long as I can. Busy hands…calm mind…what bullshit! Nothing I've done calmed my nerves. I almost jump out of my skin when the Skype connects.
"I am attending tonight's little conclave by Skype," I announced to Christian and Dr. Flynn.
"Why," Christian clearly expected a face-to-face meeting, not an electronic one.
"I agreed to this meeting, but I feel more comfortable this way." I explained.
"Let's begin," Dr. Flynn greeted us. "I'd like to break the ice…"
"No," I interrupted. "I apologize for interrupting you, Dr. Flynn. Normally, I'm not a rude person, but I have something to say. I'm not wasting time playing word association games." I took a deep breath. "Christian, you said we had to be honest with one another to make this work. I don't feel you were completely honest with me. You said you exercise control in all things…but you don't. You don't control letting outside issues, events, or people affect how you interact with me."
Dr. Flynn holds up a hand to prevent Christian from interrupting while I vent.
"You use sex to avoid talking, or explaining issues. Do you know how much I was aggravated when you wouldn't talk to me…but you demanded to know every little thought which crossed my mind?" I state.
"Anastasia, I'm sorry, honest to God I am. I have a list of goals. One of them is to reconnect with you. I need to know you're not moving on with someone else." Christian pleaded with me. "If you need someone to talk to, Dr. Flynn is competent and he knows my history."
"I told you…I would never talk about us and I haven't. I need three things. I need you to listen to me. I've asked you over and over to call me Ana, yet you insist on formally addressing me as Anastasia. Ignoring my request tells me you don't listen. Anastasia is the name my parents use when lecturing me." I reiterate.
"Beautiful name for a beautiful girl," he shrugged.
"I don't like feeling intimidated!" I snap. "I need you to leave me alone, Christian. No security following me, no tracking my personal or professional phone calls or emails. I need your mother's good friend, Elena Lincoln, to leave me alone. I'm aware she's been cruising by my condo. I don't know why – but make her stop. That's my three needs: listen when I talk to you, leave me alone and make Elena leave me alone. They are, in your parlance, hard limits. We both need this break to work on our issues and consider our priorities. I'm not emotionally ready to work things out with you. Plus, I'm not emotionally ready move on until I understand and accept my feelings. Please forgive me," I ended the Skype, turned off the computer, and put my phone on the charger.
I should have known our relationship was the reason for a discussion with Dr. Flynn. Christian's crazy if he thinks I'm discussing my issues with his therapist. Then I laugh at the irony…until I break down and cry.
Harley is right, I must stay away from Christian until the SEC determines what to do. While I'm staying away from Christian, maybe I can get to know myself better. Until then, I need to keep myself busy so I don't daydream about him.
'Yeah right,' my inner goddess snarks. 'If you won't go wild on his body in real life…I'm welcoming him into our dreams and letting him dominate us as he pleases.' She moans and stretches suggestively on the bed. She's just embarrassing.
XXX – CPOV
Damn it! She ended the Skype without letting me reason with her! I want to break things, but I'm in Flynn's office. I must maintain control until I get home to my gym and kick box my aggressions away. Right now, I'd give anything to turn her over my knee and apply several hard strikes to her…whoa…whoa…where the hell did that thought come from? I never punished my subs when I was angry. Get control Grey!
"What was that thought?" Flynn seemed startled. "Seriously, your face went from insecure to enraged to shocked faster than I've ever seen you change moods."
I hung my head. "I was insecure because she didn't give me a chance to reason with her. I wanted to take her over my knee and spank the hell out of her. Then I was shocked because I never punished my subs when I was angry."
"Breathe Grey! I call bullshit on your assertion you have never punished subs when you were angry. Half your issues in the playroom were punishing little brown-haired girls because they reminded you of your birth mother. You're still angry with her not protecting you. I believe until you move past calling her a crack whore, you will not come to terms with who she was and the importance of her in your early life. Additionally, I think there was anger at the Leila situation which made you apply a belt to Anastasia's ass with a lot more force than the situation warranted." Flynn writes notes on his tablet.
I sat back, shocked at his assertion. I ran his points through my mind. I am angry at the crack…Ella. I'm angry with her pimp. I'm angry with…myself for hurting Ana and making her leave me.
"Elena Lincoln didn't teach you everything you should know about the BDSM lifestyle. If you research, the way you asked Ana to research, you may discover most Doms need a connection with their submissives. BDSM is not all play and showing off your latest toys, furniture or kinky skill set. I know you wanted your submissives healthy, safe and obedient. I know you terminated with them when they wanted 'more'. You have no experience about how relationships work between men and women. Trust me…there's no contract in Elliot and Kate's relationship, or in your parents' marriage, or in my marriage to Rhiann. There is love, honor and negotiation. You will work to understand the emotional connection you have with Ana."
I started to argue about Ana and other men.
"Shut up Grey," Flynn ordered. "Your single-minded pursuit of getting into Ana's panties races from your brain straight to your cock. However, the rest of the male population don't think that way. You've quizzed Elliot about the men in Ana's life. Ana is not moving on. Ana gave you three tasks to complete before you can be in her life – listen, no tracking her and keep Elena Lincoln away from her. What will you do to complete these tasks?"
"I'm still working on ideas to remove myself as Elena's business partner," I admit.
"Do you believe no longer being Elena's business partner will eliminate her from your life?" Flynn asked.
"If necessary to keep her out of our lives, I will reveal Elena and my relationship to my parents. I will not reveal the BDSM aspect of it. They just need to know I was fifteen when we began and twenty-one when we ended. I will end her involvement with charities for underprivileged youth. I will ask Mom, Mia and Grandma to stop patronizing the Esclava Salons." I explain.
"Well, I have an assignment for you. Research handling romantic breakups. Research how to effect romantic reconciliations. We'll talk about how to do that. If you come unprepared to sessions, we'll spend your time researching the internet together." Flynn warned. "Relationships take time. Relationships take work. Stay healthy. Stay active. Stay away from social media. Do not haunt Kate Kavanagh's Facebook page for news and pictures of Ana. Do not bug Elliot to bug Kate about what Ana is doing."
He observed my impassive face and continued.
"Your second assignment is to become more involved with Coping Together." He noted my grimace and continued. "Yes, your donations are needed and welcomed. However, you need to understand how to help families cope with addiction. You need to see other children in the same situation you were in so you understand the issues it left in your life."
July 22 – CPOV
"Good evening," Sela greeted me with a left handshake.
"I didn't want to come today. When I saw Ana driving away from work, I knew I had to come." I disclosed.
"Why didn't you want to come?" Sela asked.
"I had a rough night last night. I didn't know if I could bear to be touched tonight." I will not admit my nightmare was a replay of Ana leaving me. I will not admit I'm as gutted today as I was when she left.
"Today's schedule is work-related touching. We will begin with shaking hands, power handshakes, and handshakes accompanied by a shoulder pat or tap. I will sit beside you while you open the website for Grey House. You will talk to me about your company. Occasionally I might guide your hand on the mouse to another web page. My knee might brush against yours. I might get into your personal bubble by leaning in to look at a web page. A really good web page could earn you a pat on the back. We will play Twister again tonight. Our ten-minute hold session will be favorite smells. Before the end of the session, we'll practice left handshakes. Left handshakes are an unusual feel for you…and you must think before you complete the gesture. Left handshakes are not an automatic response. We'll practice as many times as necessary for left handshakes to feel natural. If you are ready, let's begin." Sela offered me a chair at a conference table before an open laptop.
XXX
"A," Flynn read the first popsicle stick he drew.
"Apple pie," Sela replied.
"Apple blossoms, apple orchards, apple butter, fresh apples and Ana's hair." my mouth ran away with me.
"C…"
"Coffee…"
"Mia's Coq au Vin…Mrs. Jones' chocolate cake…citrus groves in California…citrus furniture wax… Leila's citrus perfume." My mouth has no filter again.
"Leila?" Sela questioned.
"His longest submissive. The one who slit her wrist in front of his housekeeper. The one who ran away from the hospital. The one whose boyfriend died in January," Flynn answered. "We're trying to find her to get her help," both Flynn and I chorused. "N," Flynn doesn't wait for Sela to comment about Leila.
"New car smell…"
"Nature…ocean breezes…fog in the forests when Elliot and I mountain bike… falling leaves…fresh mowed grass…Grandma Frannie's lilac bushes…Mom's rose garden…lavender fields in Oregon…the smell of pine trees in the Pacific Northwest." Again, my brain goes blank and my mouth runs unfiltered.
"W…"
"Seth's woodsy cologne…warm towels from the dryer…" Sela exhibits her ability to free associate.
"Wood fires…fire pits…campfire smoke…Dad's BBQs…" This isn't a bad exercise…yet.
"V"
"Vanilla cookies…vanilla candles…" Sela comments.
"Mom smelling like cookies the first time we met…" I add. I don't continue with the thought of hospital smells.
"F…"
"Freshly bathed babies…flora…fauna…falling snow…" Sela's answers are evocative.
"Fall…fir trees…fresh cigars…Formula One racetracks…fishing with Dad and Grandpa Theo…fine print like the smell of new books or a newspaper stand…" I feel like I can smell the reading room at Barnes and Noble.
"P…"
"Peppermint soap…peppercorns…papayas…pepperoni pizza…" Sela's words wake me.
"Pancakes…paella…pecan pie…pumpkins…Pinot Blanc…" My stomach growls. "Aren't we done yet?"
July 23 – CPOV
I dreamt of Ana again last night. Ana is the siren of my dreams. Her soft hand in mine. Her blue eyes assessing me. Her soft, breathy sighs as we sit on the verandah of my Aspen house, watching the sun set. We do not talk; we just hold hands. The dream was calming and so much more wonderful than any dream I've had lately. Any dream with Ana beats night terrors.
I wait until breakfast to ask Taylor if he wants to go sailing. I don't want to bounce off the walls all weekend. I remember thinking about Cabo and Ana's eyes. Taylor calls Mac, telling him we're incoming and to prep The Grace for two days at sea. Mac recommends a leisurely sail to Vancouver, BC. He asks if he should plan to co-pilot and I say yes. I may want to sit and stare at the ocean which reminds me of Ana's eyes. Taylor and Mac work out logistics of supplies and sleeping arrangements. Taylor strongly suggests this be a dry cruise…no booze, no beer, no wine. I applaud his thinking…a drunk, maudlin boss on the ocean…that's a recipe for drunk dialing someone.
Taylor packs clothes for us for two days as I pack the laptop and briefcase. I pack a box of reading materials: the Wall Street Journal, the New York Times, the Seattle Times and the current Industry Week, Manufacturing Business Technology, Forbes, Fortune, and Harvard Business Review to keep me busy when I'm not piloting. I also have thirty-five background checks on some of Anastasia's…Ana's ex-classmates which Striker emailed me. When I get restless, I can walk circles on the deck or I can swim until I'm exhausted.
I email our itinerary to Dad. I ask him to not tell anyone where I am, just to explain I'm out of town.
August 1 – APOV
We had a great birthday party for Claire during lunch. We ate in the cafeteria with balloons, cupcakes and ice cream bars. I found a fabulous mango-colored silk Infinity scarf for her birthday on Amazon. She decided to wear the scarf with a turquoise shirt and dark skinny jeans for her birthday dinner date. She has mango shoes and purse to accessorize. I wish I felt as comfortable with colors as she does.
I help carry her balloon and floral bouquet to the reception desk. She has her arms full. While she's putting her presents away, I take a picture of the picture of her and the boyfriend which is on her desk. He looks familiar, but I can't place him…which makes me nervous. Can I give the picture to Harley to research the guy? I take two quick pictures of the bouquet to cover. "Mom would love those exotic purple flowers." I shove my smart phone into my pocket. "Do you know what kind they are?"
XXX – 3PPOV
Barney found two press releases from Grey Publishing over the weekend. The first press release announced two new, first-time authors who agreed to representation by Grey Publishing. The second press release announced a book launch in Las Vegas, Nevada in March for one of their authors. That author is assigned to Jack Hyde. The news disturbed Barney. Miss Steele's potential travel to Las Vegas was a logistical nightmare. Barney forwarded the press releases, background checks on the two authors and noted the GP staff assigned to them.
Barney reviewed Jack Hyde's file again. Commissioning Editor at SIP/GP. Princeton graduate who attended on a scholarship. Graduated from a Catholic high school. His Princeton transcripts were included in his SIP employment file. President's List every semester. Work study reviews exemplary after his first semester on campus. He worked in the college library. SIP poached him from an East Coast publishing company where he worked for five years. He has been with SIP for five years. His performance reviews glowed with praise. Barney started researching the previous publishing company. He hoped to acquire Hyde's personnel files from them.
Hyde was 32, single, ice blue eyes, red hair, five-foot-ten, 200 pounds, and clean driving record. Normal deposits in his checking account. His money market account balance was over $750,000. Barney tagged the money market account for further scrutiny. One credit card, zero balance. Previous charges for food, books, clothes, gas and liquor store were paid off monthly. Mother, deceased from cirrhosis of the liver, buried in a charity grave at a Catholic parish in Chicago. Unknown father and unknown relatives. Barney shook his head. Hyde's cover story had gaps. Barney was determined to find Hyde's backstory.
Barney sent Welch the information he had on Hyde. He would need to conduct a deep cyber search of Hyde's information. The man had nine interns in five years. Miss Steele was number ten. From what Barney could tell…she would be out of a job by Christmas if Hyde followed his previous pattern. That situation required an explanation. He included his suspicions in the analysis to Welch.
Barney sighed because he had another task from Mr. Grey. Barney had to search the Grey Annex CCTV to find footage of Miss Steele. Grey apologized to him for assigning such a mundane task, but Barney understood immediately. Grey was obsessed with Miss Steele and the heart wants what the heart wants. She was a very pretty girl. He enjoyed working with her the week of the move. She was smart, funny and kind. Part of him wished she worked at Grey House. He would not mind being work buddies with her.
The installation week at Grey Publishing had been difficult. Miss Steele's coworker, Emily, made him uncomfortable. She constantly flirted with him, brought him coffee, and asked a plethora of tech questions. Friday afternoon when she finally suggested they have a drink together sometime…Barney didn't brush her off like other people in the past. He carefully explained he was a married man. A very married man who adored his wife…and was besotted with his husband. He showed her the picture in his wallet of Amber, Spenser and him. She stared at the picture…surprised, shocked and silent for the first time all week.
August 2 – 3PPOV
"Good evening," Laura Dennison distributed the syllabus to the twenty people in her class. "This is Beginning Web Design. I will teach you how to create websites for your personal or business use. Tonight, we will talk about HTML, the computer language which is the foundation of web pages. You don't need to be proficient at HTML to build a web page, but you need to have an idea of how webpages work."
"I will teach you about Editors, which are the tools you can use to create websites. I will teach you about Hosting, which is how to find a home or a server for your website. I will teach you how to Publish, which is how to upload your site to the Internet so people visit it. Tonight, I will teach you a basic understanding of the infrastructure which makes up the Internet. You need to know what a server is, how websites exist and how people gain access to them. The Internet can be intimidating for anyone who had a life before Windows 95." Laura almost laughed at the class reaction.
Ray and the man sitting next to him in class, groaned.
"I heard that. We'll create consulting groups. You will bounce ideas off them. Starting here," she pointed at the first desk next to the door. "Count off by fours. Begin now please, and once the counting is done, retake your seats. Ones, please take the first row of seats; twos, the second row; threes, the third row; and fours will occupy the fourth row." Ray found himself in group two, with three men he knew from the VFW.
"The groups you are in are your consulting groups. Please retake the same seats in future weeks. You will depend on one another to tell you if a picture isn't right, if the text is too small, if the colors are too garish. Here are examples," Laura began a PowerPoint presentation.
"Yikes," one of the men exclaimed at the slide example of a website using hot pink print on a dusky purple background. The next slide was equally bad – red print on black background. "How is a colorblind person supposed to read that?" One of the men grumbled. The next slide was white text on a pale blue background. "How are our old eyes supposed to read that?" Another person in class asked.
Ray forced himself to watch the presentation and not stare at Laura's legs. You are a student tonight; she is the teacher tonight. Tomorrow, when you are Ray and Laura, you can stare at those denim-clad long legs and her fine, fine ass. You can play with her dark flowing hair and kiss those lush pink lips. Until then…pay attention in class and don't embarrass yourself.
August 3 – CPOV
"I've avoided Elena's phone calls and emails since Coping Together. She insists I interview her potentials. I'd bet last month's profits at least one or two of them have BLUE eyes. I can hear her voice now: You need a trained submissive. This blue-eyed brunette will be everything you want in the playroom ...minimal hard limits...well trained…excellent stamina…knows her role in your life and doesn't expect a relationship." My voice is not as bitter as I feel.
"Does Elena believe you will only have contractual fuck buddies for the rest of your life?" Flynn suggested.
I sighed. "I don't want another submissive. I want Ana."
I dream of Ana and I wake up harder than I've ever been in my life. Erections are more painful than when I was sixteen. I balanced books on my lap at night while I studied in order to keep my cock under control. I want Ana, and once I have her, I will not let her go. I love her hair. I love her eyes. I love the little 'v' frown she has. I love her giggle. I love the way her silky skin turns pink under my hand…fuck, I'm getting hard again. I want her to know me physically more than any other woman…and to do that…I must learn to be touched.
"How is your list of tasks progressing?" Flynn referred to his tablet.
"I'm working on Mia's new company. My M&A team is researching Elliot's subsidiaries. I am invested in a construction materials recycling company, a large storage shed complex, a green lawn service which uses solar-powered lawn mowers and composts lawn wastes in addition to rainwater reclamation. I'm invested in a green junk removal company, a property damage evaluation and restoration company, a commercial cleaning company and a closet fabrication company. Additionally, Elliot's most recent subsidiary manufactures grey-water reclamation units. The Spokani Eden construction site using some of the grey-water reclamation units."
We talk about how GEH helped merge two floundering companies into a new printing company. They will reopen as one integrated unit after Labor Day. Grey House PR and Communications are excited about the merger. We are considering other possible merged companies.
We talk about events from this week. I destroyed a phone when Welch told me about three more interns who are less than forthcoming about Jack Hyde's history. I explain about the background checks on previous SIP employees and Welch's investigation into Hyde's previous interns. I tell Flynn I didn't like the way Hyde leered at all the women at the GP open house.
"Change isn't easy, but you need to find ways of coping with your anger other than destroying phones. You need to find ways of releasing tension and anger. I'm not talking about besting Bastille or exhausting Taylor. If you must throw something…I recommend footballs or tennis balls. Maybe take tennis lessons at your parents' house on weekends. Your mom and Mia play tennis; you would have partners," Flynn advises. "Focus on what you want, where you want to be."
"You don't want to hear about that," I sniped at him. "You know I want to be in bed with Ana."
"Patience, grasshopper," Flynn quipped. "Mia's company, Elliot's company, and Grey Publishing don't cover the Elena issue."
"I'm working on three possible scenarios for removing myself from her sphere of influence," I admit. "I'm not ready to talk about my options, but they are almost complete. I want to make a decision by the end of the month and then move forward quickly to the resolution."
"Very well," Flynn conceded. "Now let's talk about Ana."
I groaned and put my head in my hands. "Ask away. Let's discover how much I don't know about women."
"First, you know what caused the breakup. Second, work on acceptance of the breakup. Begging her to reconcile won't work. She departed Escala two months ago." Flynn outlined the stages of breakups and reconciliations. He stated I never experienced this process as a teenager and now I must play catch-up on my emotional education.
XXX – 3PPOV
Leila visited her stash of cash and withdrew $800. She stopped at a store and purchased a supply of soups and canned goods, instant rice and pasta along with bottled juices, sodas and water. She purchased coffee and coffee filters, individual packets of cream and sugar. Part of her missed not having a real kitchen in her motel room, but a kitchenette was an additional $400 a month. As she planned to be back at Escala before fall…paying for extra amenities was not worth the money. Besides she had a small microwave, toaster, hot plate and a coffee pot. She had a mini refrigerator. She could make do until she had a chance to contact Sir. He would approve of her work to secure her lodgings with the dowel rods and the key-operated chain lock. He would not approve, however, of her lack of personal hygiene. She needed an appointment at a salon, and she needed one before seeing Sir.
August 5 – APOV
Claire is miserable. I picked her, Emily and Amber up early to work out in the Grey Annex gym. She split with her boyfriend, Ryan. He gave her a gold wire cuff bracelet and took her out to dinner for her birthday. She's absolutely crazy about bracelets. However, Ryan claimed the relationship had no sparks. He felt they should end the relationship while they were still friends. We bash men while we exhaust ourselves at the fairly new gym. We all wear new/nearly new gym clothes in flattering colors and styles to garner our fair share of hard body attention. LOL. Part of me hopes there is a CCTV in the gym and Christian watches me live a normal life with girlfriends.
Tonight, we're attending happy hour at Swine and Wine… because Ryan is a swine and Claire needs some wine. We're designated wing women for each other. Amber watches me, I watch Claire, Claire watches Emily, Emily watches Amber. No one leaves with a stranger. No one drinks anything purchased by a stranger. I'm the designated driver. Just to make our lives crazier…I'm hosting a sleepover night at our condo. Tonight, Ethan and Kate are at their parents' house. Everyone brought sleeping bags, pillows and pajamas. We'll order in pizza, drink more wine and watch some of my favorite period dramas. When we are functional on Saturday, we're hitting our favorite consignment stores. Then we're having a late lunch at Hard Rock Café. Claire swears their outdoor patio is a great place for watching men.
Tomorrow night Kate is on a date with Elliot. I invited Harley and Shawn to dinner with Ethan and me. Ethan is grilling dinner Saturday night. I will do all my household chores early Sunday morning. I can lounge on the balcony Sunday afternoon and get some sunshine while I read, read, read. Elliot is grilling for us Sunday night. I will challenge my roomies and Elliot to not mention family members or work. Losers cook or buy dinner one night this week and do the dishes that night.
XXX – CPOV
I'm leaving Grey House to meet with Sela. When Taylor drives past Swine and Wine, the restaurant and bar on the corner, I spot Ana's car. I email Striker for an update. He reports Ana attended happy hour with coworkers. One of her coworkers was dumped by her boyfriend on her birthday, consequently the coworkers share an I Hate Men moment. Striker has two female operatives in the bar. They will keep men away from Ana and her group if necessary. He explains Ana doesn't drink; she is the designated driver. Striker reports Hyde is in Las Vegas this weekend, talking to the author whose book launches in March 2012. He and Elizabeth Morgan flew to Vegas this afternoon. They are scheduled to return on the red-eye Monday morning.
Ryan has not been compromised. Claire has been dumped. Ana is socializing with coworkers while unknown security in place. Hyde is not there. Plus, I get to play touchy-feely with Sela. When I return to Escala, I'm working until I drop. I will wreck some stupid CEO's life. I will make someone else as miserable as I am.
I send Jerry Roach a strongly worded email about the curtailment of editorial travel. If editors can't email, Skype or video conference with their authors – then the authors must travel to Seattle on their own dime. Grey Publishing is not paying for any editor to long-distance drive or fly anywhere in the USA for an author meeting. Barney hacked the editorial calendars and negated seven potential trips, all within the next twelve weeks. Any purchased reservations for planes, cars or hotel rooms have been vacated, with request for the funds to be returned to Grey Publishing. I stress Grey Publishing will not reimburse any editor who pays for plane, train or travel on their personal credit card.
The replacement CFO for Grey Publishing, promoted from SIP staff, was fired with cause. He has been temporarily replaced with financial staff from Grey House. That CFO will adhere to the no-travel policy or be terminated. I fire off an urgent order to Grey House HR to recruit and hire a responsible CFO for Grey Publishing. I'm still aggravated and still have Sela therapy. I'd better calm down and practice breathing.
"Tonight, we're working with physical forms of hello and goodbye," Sela introduced tonight's lesson.
Sela and I both agreed air kisses were absolutely fake and a way of controlling people in your personal bubble. Flynn helped with some gestures. Sela and Flynn would demonstrate and then Sela would work on the gesture with me. We talked about the hellos and goodbyes I experienced with my family. When we discussed hugs, I explained I usually held Grandma Frannie and Mia at their waist to control the length of the hug. Sela and I have been practicing shaking left hands for a month now, and I still feel awkward.
Tonight's holding exercise is business by alphabet sticks. Sela says I cannot name Grey House subsidiaries, but I can name companies with whom I do business. Flynn pulls alphabet sticks and if I can't name a business, I must view touch therapy DVDs which Sela owns. Sela changes our physical stance. We still stand toe to toe. However, my hands rest at her waist and her hand touch my biceps. Flynn pulls a B stick and we're naming companies. "Boeing Field," I list. "I keep company aircraft there."
"Bravern Center. Seth and I like Wild Ginger restaurant." Sela offers.
Flynn pulls L…and I'm lost for a minute. "Lake Union Park," I finally say.
"You struggled for an answer," Sela watched my face. "What was the name of the business you would not name? I don't judge…so if you were to name Lady Lucy's Lucky Love Nest, whatever…I don't care."
Flynn observed me. "Locke and Keyes?" He questioned.
I nodded, humbled because Sela can see through my poker face.
"What is Locke and Keyes?" Sela is curious.
"A BDSM social club owned by the husband of one of his ex-submissives," Flynn explained.
"Do you socialize there?" Sela inquired.
"No, I don't go to clubs. I'm not a member at any either. My lifestyle was conducted in the privacy of my home." I know I can maintain a secret if I don't take chances.
"A topic for you and Flynn to discuss. My L answer is Lighthouse Restaurant and Lounge. We like their outdoor patio which has views of the water." Sela replied.
We managed to get through ten minutes of listing businesses without my being penalized.
"I'm glad we broke at ten minutes. Who manufactures your sweater? I want to buy one for my husband. I've never felt a man's cashmere sweater so thin and luxurious. I was close to being inappropriate," Sela admitted.
"Malo, I get them at Barney's in New York when I'm there on business. This one was a present. Mom said the color reminded her of my eyes. I always wear it with black jeans." I'm a bit embarrassed about my cashmere sweater which feels luxurious against my skin.
"She picked well. So, are you up for a game of Twister?" Sela challenged Flynn and me.
"As long as you don't spend your time feeling up my sweater," I laughed.