Wounds to Bind Chapter 25 – 'Did it never strike your mind that what every woman says, some women may feel?' – Thomas Hardy, Tess of the D'Urbervilles
October 1, 2011 – 3PPOV
*******Seattle Nooz *******
In a rare press conference yesterday, Christian Grey, CEO, Grey Enterprises Holdings, announced the transfer of personally owned stock to Elena Lincoln (Esclava Salons), Mia Grey (restaurants and clubs) and Elliot Grey (Grey Construction, its subsidiaries and empty buildings). After the press conference, Grey and family (Carrick, Grace, Elliot and Mia) were spotted lunching at the Mile High Club where Grey introduced his previous partners to Mia.
******** Seattle Nooz *******
******** Seattle Nooz *******
Today was the Grand Reopening of Seattle Business Printing. A recent merger between SBP and Seattle Signs was facilitated by Grey Enterprises Holdings. SBP moved into the Seattle Signs facility, coalescing business equipment, staff, clients and finances. Christian and Mia Grey were in attendance at the reopening. Mia Grey's new company, Grey Calendars, coordinated the event. Christian Grey was on hand with the new CEO, Andrew Pardell, to cut the ribbon. Seattle Business Printing will still print business needs in addition to printing large posters, signs and presentation pieces for companies.
******** Seattle Nooz *******
XXX
'WTF! I'm tired of the God-complex Grey family! I tried to find out what Mia Grey was doing every few days at Grey Annex, and now I know. Ana had lunch with Mia every day she was at Grey Annex, but Ana never shares information. I'm not going through this anymore. Since Ana won't help…I'll bring Christian Grey to his knees by myself. That bastard is living the life I should have had…and I will end his reign as the brilliant boy billionaire.' Jack destroyed the Seattle Nooz articles from yesterday, burning holes in them with his cigarette.
Jack decided to recheck staff emails at SIP/GP. Perhaps Roach had decided how to invest his funds from the SIP/GP buyout. Elizabeth's whine about dealing with SIP insurance changing over to the GEH insurance holder warned him in advance to invest in the new insurance carrier. He made a tidy profit which came to him out of the blue.
Elizabeth was so easy to manipulate. Jack duplicated her office key the first chance he got. Hacking her computer was easy. She took the new laptop back and forth between her home and the job. He just needed to see her fingers skim across the keyboard one time to give him access to her password: Pendragon1. She was a fan of Camelot and Renaissance fairs. Once he had her security passcode, gleaned from kissing her neck while she entered her passcode for the elevator at work…he had what he needed to access HR files. Upon his advice, she sent staff a form on GEH letterhead asking for contact information, including passwords for computers and voice mail, in addition to security passcodes, in case of an accident or emergency.
Once Jack had Elizabeth's office key, her password and her security passcode… he accessed everyone's passwords and security passcodes. He was smart enough to save people's home IP addresses when he backtracked the emails they sent to and from their home computers to the office. Armed with IP addresses and passwords to emails and the server, gleaning information from everyone's computers and emails was a walk in the park. Gleaning information from Ana, verbally or by her personal emails was impossible, but he was a man with a mission. Her home computer firewall was as frustrating to break as she was.
Jack cursed himself. Knowing Ana was in proximity to Grey was one of the reasons he wanted her. She wasn't using work email for personal messages. She wasn't forwarding personal email received at work to a personal email account. She wasn't chatting with friends via phone or instant message on work time. His modus operandi didn't work with her. She wasn't afraid of him and performed her job well. She wouldn't give him a ride home, so he couldn't get to her that way. She parked in a secure spot at Grey Annex, so he couldn't tamper with her car, then offer her a ride home. With Mia Grey in Grey Annex, there was extra security in the building. He couldn't drag himself out of bed to watch her, Amber, Claire and Emily work out. The four of them in workout clothes would have been worth an hour on a treadmill. Travel had been curtailed at Grey Publishing. Grey Calendars would coordinate the author launch in Vegas – where Mia Grey would have security who would also watch Ana. He needed to devise a foolproof plan, and soon. Ana received meets standards for her thirty-day evaluation, so she didn't beg and offer to do anything to keep her job. Ana's ninety-day evaluation was eventually rated as exceeds standards. Elizabeth was furious about Jerry's interference in Ana's review. Her one-hundred-and-eighty-day employee evaluation would not be scheduled in the online calendar so Elizabeth could meet with Ana without interference.
Could he fake drunk and show up at her condo late at night, and have her invite him in? Jack's chances were slim and none. Ana had roommates, and Grey Security to watch the roommate's boyfriend. He just needed to watch and wait. She would be vulnerable, and he would pounce. He need Grey to be vulnerable at the same time for double the satisfaction.
XXX – 3PPOV
"You like," Elliot asked Kate. They just test drove a new Mercedes E350 Sport. "I don't like the grey color, I think you'll get lost on the street. Red is a police magnet. Black is not safe at night."
"The white one," Kate chose an Artic White color. "Dad's dealing with the insurance company for my previous car. Christian's dealing with the insurance company for the Audi A3. Dad gave me his bank information to pay for the car. I've never bought a new car before, Dad's always handled this for me."
"Well, watch and learn baby, you don't want a 2012 model. Buy one of the 2011 ones they have in stock. Good price and they're desperate to clear the lot of previous models. Besides, I need to make Dad points since the accident." Elliot leaned down to whisper in her ear, "We're finding a dark street and properly breaking in your new back seat."
Kate shook her head no.
Elliot shook his head yes.
The head shaking went on for a while…until Elliot grabbed Kate and kissed her until she was in complete agreement with him.
XXX – APOV
Laura and I had a great day, cleaning out one of Dad's storage sheds. We found half a dozen pieces which need minimal work before they can be sold. We inventoried and added things to his database. Separate parts of the database list tools, materials he has on hand, projects in progress, and projects completed. By attending Laura's class, Dad successfully developed an Excel spreadsheet for his work finances and one for his personal finances. Before the end of the year, Laura will work with him on using his spreadsheet primarily and his ledger as backup.
Tomorrow we are emptying another storage shed. Laura recommended using the two sheds close to the driveway for completed projects and the two sheds close to the shop for materials and projects in progress.
I taught Laura how to make Italian Beef Stew, which we loved. She taught me how to make rustic Italian bread which was great with the stew. I warned Dad and Laura to stay far away from my room, I was calling Mom. She is still not happy because I'm not dating, living with, or photographed with Christian. I told her about the fall wardrobe capsule. She was pleased with my increasing fashion sense. I didn't ask if she signed up for Google alerts about Christian. I seriously believe she'd stalk him if she lived in Seattle. Yet another reason for not inviting Mom for the holidays in Seattle.
Monday, October 3 – 3PPOV
Barney noted the traffic on the GP servers over the weekend. He shook his head. They were obviously still in the honeymoon phase with GEH. Many of the upper management checked their emails over the weekend in a flagrant attempt to curry favor. Scant few, like Miss Steele, accessed the manuscript database in their off hours on weekends. She read manuscripts on her way to and from work on Monday-Thursday. Sometimes she read at night until eleven o'clock. She uploaded three synopses of manuscripts at 4:45 each day. She locked out her computer each time she left her desk at work. She backed up her computer daily, not taking chances with inclement weather and power blips. She never sent personal emails or forwarded emails to her personal email. Barney appreciated her approach to sensible office computing. So many people opened a database or a spreadsheet and walked away, getting coffee or visiting the powder room.
Barney spent the weekend researching VDSL2 networks and manufacturers. VDSL2 was important to internet providers to increase broadband performance. The upgrades would also lessen interference for existing DSL users who didn't have broadband capabilities…yet. Barney located three companies who were in need of reorganization and financial restructuring. GEH could eliminate substandard manufacturing processes and equipment, giving the companies a chance to thrive. He sent those recommendations forward to Mr. Grey.
October 7 – 3PPOV
Barney felt guilty following Miss Steele to Swine and Wine, but his curiosity got the best of him. If Welch or Taylor asked, Barney learned Harrison was gay. Females aren't the only ones who talk in the bathroom. Barney called Spenser while in the bathroom, discussing what to do over the weekend. When he mentioned dancing at a private gay club, he saw a look of acknowledgement in Harrison's eyes. Yep… Harrison's 'roommate' was his partner. Now, did Ana Steele know she was being used as a skirt, or was there something else occurring? Maybe she was using Harrison as a beard so her slimy boss left her alone. He saw the man in action tonight and wished Hyde had been inappropriate with Miss Steele. He would have relished holding the bastard so Harrison could get in a few face punches.
Maybe Miss Steele agreed to be a surrogate mother for the couple. Miss Steele resembled Stanton's mother and Harrison's sister. Stanton and Harrison were both well-established at their positions. They could afford a child and an au pair. A surrogate pregnancy would pay for her to return to college to obtain a master's degree.
Maybe Miss Steele was considering a relationship with Harrison like he had with August and Spenser. He was lucky the two loves of his life liked one another and didn't mind being roommates. Neither of them acted jealous of the other. They acted more like brother and sister than Barney ever hoped. He was also lucky they didn't consider his bisexual status an impediment. He could shop with August and fuck Spenser. He could go to sports bars with Spenser and fuck August. She loved to go clubbing with them because she was guaranteed decent dance partners. She loved cooking with Spenser and Spenser loved doing house DIY projects with August. They shared Barney's three-bedroom home. August's only requirement for moving in with him and Spenser was she got the master bedroom and bathroom. Plus, she never had to clean their bathroom. For the joy of sharing his life and his bed with her, Barney was willing to soundproof all the bedrooms and pay for a housekeeper.
XXX
"So, how is work?" Jack pumped Harley for information.
"Busy – everyone's gearing up for the holiday season," Harley watched Ana pick up their order to go. "Cyber stores, fast food franchises, discount travel sites, high end food markets, furniture retailers, high end lingerie retailers, jewelers. Although gold and silver investments are always an excellent idea, they are even more so because of Christmas, Valentine's Day and June weddings. My clients don't buy stock in national clothing chains because so many of them have deep discounts after Christmas. Clothing lines are a tough way to make a profit."
"That's interesting to know," Jack was bored to tears. "Does Ana listen to your stock tips?"
Harley laughed. "She learned to tune out proprietary information from her roommate, Kate Kavanagh. I keep saying smart investments will help her finance a better car, or take classes, or a luxury vacation. I hoping to get her to invest her income tax refund, but I may not succeed."
"Are you interested in acquiring a new client?" Jack questioned Harley.
"If you mean you, I can't take you on as a client. I can't create an awkward situation with Ana. You're her boss and I am the significant other." Well, shit…neither he nor the SEC considered that scenario.
XXX – APOV
"I've been picking up items as I see them," Shawn explained. "A fabulous LBD for holiday parties, funerals, or dressy work dinners. A navy tweed and a navy wool pencil skirt, both fully lined. A cranberry cardigan jacket, with belt for cool fall days. A white brushed cotton long-sleeve, button-down shirt. My last find was a long-sleeve, white silk tunic, great with dark skinny jeans for dress down days. These are all great for a fall capsule wardrobe. They will keep Kate happy."
"And Mom!" I chortled.
"What are you doing for Halloween?" Shawn hung items on hangers in appropriate spaces. "I promised a friend at SPD to help with Safe Streets at WSCC. Hot dogs, cute kids in costumes, the pleasure of Harley and my company …and I already have our costumes. Harley and I are dressing up in vintage 1960s tuxedos… Bond, James Bond, baby. I bought a vinyl backdrop of a revolver and Bond, which is eight feet by eight feet. We're taking vintage martini classes and a thermos of faux martinis with us. You could dress up like Audrey Hepburn from Breakfast at Tiffany's."
"How can I refuse?" I struck a pose.
"Come to our place after work; I'll do your hair for you. The LBD I bought you will be perfect. I'll find the tiara, pearls, gloves and heels you need."
"Thank you for the offer. Kate always wants to dress slutty and visit all the local bars. I hope Elliot has other plans for her this year." I rolled my eyes.
"Like playing ghosts in the sheets?" Shawn laughed. "He'll be her trick, she'll be his treat."
"Not going there…" I shook my head.
XXX
"We've been tracking Hyde and his purchases, in addition to his stockbroker. We don't know where Elena Lincoln's getting her information, but her purchases haven't decreased very much. She's still investing in companies prior to their acquisition by GEH. Despite the announcement Grey is no longer her business partner, someone's telling her proprietary information. No-contact orders have been filed against her for the Greys and Trevelyans, along with businesses, residences, and known places they visit. She can't get within one thousand feet of Kate or you, especially when Elliot is visiting." Harley explained when they had a few minutes after dinner.
"Have you been watching the salons to see if anyone from those companies visits them? People tell their hairdresser a lot of things." I suggested. "She's practiced at the art of small talk and making clients comfortable. Is she still working on charities? If any of those women are in contact with Grace…Lincoln could be getting her information via third party contact."
"My boss wants to make arrests before the end of the year." Harley explained. "I will be out of touch the last half of November. Shawn and I are off work the eleventh through the thirteenth. I'm attending the Annual Government-Business Forum on November seventeenth. The forum is being held in DC, but our office is attending by videoconference. Then Shawn and I are taking vacation from November nineteenth through thirtieth. We're traveling to Buenos Aires for spring."
"I thought everyone went to Paris in the spring," I teased.
"Paris is best in the spring," Harley laughed, "but Australia or Buenos Aires are best in the fall…which is their spring. What are you doing for Thanksgiving?"
"Mom wants me to come to Savannah, but I'll be at Dad's in Montesano. Laura and I are cooking a feast and feeding friends and the freezer." I'd rather play with Timber and Tundra than fend off bitchy comments from Mom because I'm not thankful for Christian Grey taking notice of me.
October 14 – CPOV
I freeze. My heart rate catapults into overdrive as the darkness surfaces, stretching and tightening claws around my throat.
"Whoa…breathe," Sela took an automatic step back. "Look down at your chest… watch the rise and fall of your chest. In…out…in…out…rhythmically…in…out…in…out. You are here. You did not fall apart. You did not shatter. Just breathe…"
Several minutes pass. The darkness in me recedes. "We can begin again."
"Do I have your permission to touch?" Sela watched my face.
"Yes," I affirmed.
"Because of the stress you just experienced, I want to massage your shoulders, upper arms and neck, above the bandage. We can try your abdomen area and lower back next week. Is that acceptable?" Sela requested permission to touch.
"Yes." I agreed.
"I will play quiet, classical music," Sela nodded at John who turned on the sound system. "I won't touch in the area delineated by the torso bandage. Let's begin."
I lay there, my eyes closed, listening to the music, feeling Sela's touch as she massaged my front, my upper chest from shoulder to shoulder, across my collar bone, my neck. Her touch is easier this week. Last week I felt tense. When she finishes with my front, I turn over and let her massage my shoulders, across my upper back, my neck, down and up my upper spine with medium pressure…
Ana is here, we are dancing. She wants me to teach her how to dance. We're gliding back and forth before the wall of windows in my penthouse, looking out at the sunset glowing warm on our skin. We watch the sky darken and the stunning lights of the city bloom. I'm so lucky to have her dancing with me…holding my hand, holding my bicep, standing on my feet. I hold her against me and she watches the silly grin on my face as I stare down at her…
"Christian…" it's not Ana's voice awakening me. " You've been asleep for almost three hours. The experience has been enlightening." Sela announced.
"Did I talk in my sleep?" I yawn.
"No, I had a chance to observe you while you are completely relaxed. When you fell asleep, I did not touch you. I did not want you to experience a nightmare."
"Thank you…I haven't had a good nap like this in weeks." I sat up and pulled on my sweatshirt. "I'm sorry to have kept you for hours, John."
"Not an issue Christian, Sela and I caught up on a lot of paperwork." John replied. "I sent Taylor out for sandwiches and coffee. He was getting antsy about you not waking up. He asked if we drugged you into sleeping. When your blanket cooled, we replaced the cool one with a warm one. I think they kept you knocked out."
"How do you feel?" Sela asked.
"Refreshed, energized," I replied. "Taylor will probably be pissed, but I probably won't go back to sleep for hours. I'll be good and not play the piano. I'll just work in the home office. He can go to sleep in his quarters."
"No stress?" Sela reaffirmed.
"None," I am relieved to have experienced a calming sleep.
"Time us John," Sela handed John a small stack of index cards. "Questions for tonight." Sela stepped up toe to toe with me, her hands on top of my shoulders. My hands on her waist.
"Star Wars or Star Trek?" John began asking either-or questions. "E-reader or book? Book or movie? TV or read? Theatre or movie? Pool or ocean? Plane or car? RV or tent while camping? Email or letters? Watching sports or playing sports? Paint or wallpaper? Fly or read minds? Night or day? Sleep in or rise early? Be late or be early? Dog or cat? Lose all your money or lose all your memories? Breakfast or brunch? Coffee or tea? Cake or pie?"
"Chocolate cake…which reminds me to ask my housekeeper to make one for me." I practically salivate.
"You can't buy a bakery on your way hone?" Sela teased.
"Mrs. Jones makes the best chocolate cake I've ever tasted…and I've tasted good chocolate cake in hundreds of restaurants in the world." I explained.
Sela laughed, shook my left hand and sent me on my way.
XXX – APOV
"Come out and eat pizza, drink some beer and have a good time dancing," Kate urged.
"Thanks for the offer, but remember what happened the last time I went drinking with you and José? Just in case you forgot…I got drunk and fell into Christian's bed. Remember the outcome?" My refusal speaks volumes.
"Yeah, I got Elliot, for which I will be ever grateful to you. We will name one of our daughters after you." Kate promised. "Are you coming out willingly, or am I authorizing Elliot to throw you over his shoulder…"
"I've got things to do tomorrow, so I'm not drinking tonight. I'm not staying out until the bar closes and I'm the designated driver." I insisted.
"We can't stay out late anyway," Kate capitulated. "Mia wants us to go to the Emerald Club. She and Elliot agreed to go sailing with Christian this weekend. They're going from the club to Escala. Tomorrow is my dad's birthday so Ethan and I are at my parents' house by mid-morning. We probably won't be home until Monday night. José is spending the night. He has a meeting with a UDub graduate degree advisor on campus tomorrow. Once he's done at UDub, he's off to see his dad in Port Townsend before returning to Portland. So what's your weekend plans?"
"Clean the lint filter on the dryer, clean the refrigerator, clean the freezer, organize the cupboards, clean the closets and clean the balcony…" I made it sound as B-O-R-I-N-G as possible.
"Steele," Kate's voice threatened me.
"All right…clubbing with you tonight. However…don't go pushing me at José or Ethan! Just because I'm not with Christian does not grant matchmaker status to you, Elliot or Mia. If Christian accidentally shows up at the club…be prepared for me to leave immediately…without escort. Breakfast with José, you and Ethan…I'm not cooking so we have to go out somewhere. Book sale at the library, target practice at Target Rippers. Wash my car, drop clothes at the cleaners….which reminds me to take yours if you have them ready to go. Grocery shop and shop Pike Place Market…do you need anything? Batch cook, laundry, clean my bedroom, clean the main bath. Add my new clothes to the list of ensembles. Visit a fabric store. I need to hem my new LBD, and I want to change the brass buttons on the new cranberry cardigan jacket. Make a list of holiday plans. If I go to Savannah for Christmas, I need to book flights pretty quick for the best prices. Watch the Almost Austen Sunday on BBC America. Bridget Jones Diary, Clueless and Death Comes to Pemberley…what more could a girl want? I'll read manuscripts when I can." I put on club appropriate clothes: my great consignment jeans, my rose shirt, denim boyfriend jacket, denim hobo bag, denim wedges and a ponytail.
Saturday, October 15
During breakfast with my friends, we talked about our Thanksgiving and Christmas plans. José and his dad will come to Montesano. He can't stay for Thanksgiving weekend as he needs to work on his senior engineering project. Kate's family is flying to Aspen with the Grey family for Thanksgiving. She's invited to Aspen with Elliot for Christmas. Ethan is working at the psych clinic over Christmas vacation. I know I'm in Montesano for Thanksgiving, but my Christmas plans are undecided. José and Ethan don't seem pleased with my indecision. I tell them I've been invited to road trip with coworkers to Las Vegas for Christmas week. We'll spend New Year's Eve on the strip. They like that idea even less. Get a grip!
I'm off to the book sale at the library. I'm glad I brought a spare tote with me. I found a hardcover copy of Rebecca, The Tenant of Wildfell Hall and Dragonwyck. I bought a compilation of ten classic British short stories, which had An Imaginative Woman by Thomas Hardy. I also bought an anthology of classic poetry by women authors which includes the Brontë sisters, Elizabeth Barrett Browning and Christina Rossetti. Plus, I bought a handful of bodice rippers for Kate.
When I return, there is an envelope stuck under the windshield wiper of my car. I know I'm not supposed to touch, but I don't feel like alerting Dad, Taylor or the police. Who followed me to the library? I check my perimeter…and there's no obvious creepers. Once I'm secure in the car, I rip open the envelope and take out three pictures…of me…from last night. In the background of the pictures, a face is circled. The sticky note on the first one says, "Do you know you are being followed?" Yes, you stupid ass, I'm obviously being followed if you put this envelope on my windshield at a public library.
I put the pictures back in the envelope and have a good laugh. Sawyer wasn't following me. He is assigned to Mia's entourage. I wonder if Sawyer has been assigned to subs in the past? He and Leila seemed to know one another. We had a great time last night. I got lots of ideas from watching the food plates flowing past us. I think I could recreate some of those gourmet flatbread pizzas. I add some notes to the grocery list. I've got things to do – and I'm burning daylight.
XXX
***** Seattle Nooz *****
Amazing incendiary pictures were taken of Mia Grey at the Emerald Club last night. Some man, who thought Miss Mia was 'hot, hot, hot', sent flaming drinks over to the table she shared with her brother Elliot, Kate and Ethan Kavanagh and an unknown couple. The group didn't stay after midnight, citing weekend plans.
Miss Mia, who owns stock in the Emerald Club, attended a stockholder's meeting on Thursday, but last night was the first time she partied like a co-owner.
***** Seattle Nooz *****
XXX – APOV
I printed the Seattle Nooz online article and added pictures and note about mandatory fun with Kate and Elliot. I'll drop them in an interdepartmental envelope and send via interdepartmental mail to Taylor on Monday. Hopefully he gets a giggle out of it.
October 17 - APOV
I finally get home from work and slip off my shoes. I'm glad I wore flats and not heels today. Which reminds me to tuck a pair of black flats and a pair of black low heels in a tote and leave them at work. I don't want to need flats when I'm wearing heels and vice versa. Jack was constantly in my work space today. He doesn't mention the Seattle Nooz article, but this is the way he acts when I'm in the news. There's no picture of me in the gallery on Seattle Nooz. Since the article mentions my roommates, he must think I'm part of the unknown couple. Hopefully he'll think Harley was with me.
I'm emotionally off today. I struggled to maintain a pleasant attitude at work. I'm worn out from fetching coffee and from enduring Jack's inquisition about the manuscripts I have read. I cannot wait until our new clerical trainee is onboard and runs her ass off fetching coffee. Surprisingly, Ethan's at home. He's making dinner.
"Hi, Kate," Ethan answered his phone. He frowns and looks at me. "Sure, Kate wants to talk to you."
"Ana." Kate's voice is brusque and quiet, prickling my scalp ominously.
"What's wrong?" I asked. "You could have called my cell."
"Please check your phone; for some reason I couldn't reach you. Did you block connections from Escala?" Her voice contains a definite frown. "Christian and Ros never arrived in Portland."
"What? What do you mean?" I didn't know he was flying to Portland, but he hates to be late for anything. Not showing and not calling to apprise anyone of his delay is unlike Christian.
"His helicopter is missing. Taylor tried the transponder signal, and there's no response. Taylor and the security team pinged Christian and Ros's phones but they aren't making contact. They were due at WSUV at ten o'clock this morning. They never arrived at the helipad in Portland. Taylor was there, waiting for them." Kate relates Sawyer will use her email to send Ethan directions on how to unblock the Escala network from my phone.
"Charlie Tango?" I whisper as all the breath leaves my body. "No!" I'm cold. Bone-chillingly cold. The cold expands as I process the news Charlie Tango is missing. My bones feel frigidly cold. My hands are like ice. I hand Ethan his phone and go to my bedroom to put on sweats and thick socks. Where is he? I remember the flight from Portland to Seattle…our first night together. I can't be at Escala to offer comfort, help or a hug. Hot tears pour down my face as I feel what is left of my heart shatter.
"Ana," Ethan called out. "You need to see this."
When I go to the living room, the big plasma TV broadcasts the news: "CHRISTIAN GREY IS MISSING." I watch the news channel, but there's no news. There is a rehash of his life up to this point…including the fact he was the guest speaker at my WSUV graduation. There is a videotape of his speech and shaking hands with students…but neither Kate nor I are in the footage. The picture of us is never shown, and I'm never mentioned. I can only watch the news coverage for so long. The Portland news reporter interviewed WSUV staff who have not heard from Christian either. They express sympathies to his family…like the police confirmed he's dead.
"Do you want me to unblock Christian's network at Escala so Kate can call and email?'
I nod numbly and hand Ethan my phone. He brings me my laptop, and I open it, entering the password. I tuck my freezing hands inside my sweatshirt sleeves to try to warm them. Christian is not dead; I sternly tell myself. Surely, I would feel if he was? Was that why I felt off all day?
The Portland news reporter shows Taylor and Welch talking to authorities. The conference room in the Heathman is Grey Central until the situation is resolved. They are tight-lipped, not providing information to the gathering throng of reporters.
The fact is, he's missing. He's been missing for eight hours. No sign, no word from him. No one knows where to search – they've been over his flight plan. There's no sign of Christian, Ros or Charlie Tango. I can't bear to wonder where he is. I can't bear to think if he's hungry or hurt. Please God, please let Christian be okay. Please God, please let Christian be okay. Please God, please let Christian be okay. Please God…
Have I been a damned fool? Please don't cut his life short. He's trying to change – I saw changes at the Grey Publishing Open House. Please, please. We haven't had enough time; we need more time. Was I wrong to want him healthy, to want him free from his past? Was I wrong to need to touch him, to show him I was falling in love with him…yes, that hasn't changed.
Kate texts my phone. Sawyer's directions lifted the communications block. "No news, don't lose hope."
I text back: "Sending air hugs and prayers."
Mom calls and I don't answer the phone. I don't need her hysterics right now. Christian's disappearance probably just hit the ten o'clock news in Savannah. I don't dare talk to her. She hasn't forgiven me for taking a break away from Christian. I don't need her to advise me to dress up, make up, woman up and tell the world I'm Christian Grey's love. I walked away from him. I have no right to proclaim my confused feelings to anyone.
"They'll find him," Ethan says confidently. "I made pizza."
We sit there, nibbling at the pizza. I'm not hungry but Ethan insists I eat. I read, and write synopses while watching the news.
Kate texts me, "They've called off the search for the night. Get some sleep. I'll be in touch the minute we hear anything."
I tell Ethan good night, and go to my room, lying on my bed. I drift off to sleep…dreaming of Christian. I wake instantly when my phone rings. I don't answer Jack's call. I glance at the clock. The time is after eleven, heading toward midnight. Damn time! With each passing hour, I am preparing myself for the worst. I close my eyes and offer up another silent prayer. Please don't let Jack Hyde come here. I'll have Ethan turf him. Oh please, Lord, bring Christian back, please let him be okay. I'll go to church … I'll go to therapy and work out my self-esteem issues…I'll work hard to make the world a better place for someone who is hurting.
When I go to the bathroom, Ethan hears me moving about and follows me back to my room. He hands me a tissue and then clears his throat. "Ana, I know you won't believe this…but you wouldn't react like this if you didn't love the man."
"You're wrong. I care about him…I don't want him to be hurt. I don't want him to be dead…his family…they are wonderful people." I protest.
"Ana, I thought you were getting over him. I thought I finally had a chance with you…but I'm a selfish man. I know you will never love me or any other man the way you love him. Your words deny, but your heart is not convinced. I need to step away from you right now…or I will be the one with the broken heart." He kissed me gently on the forehead. "In time I will be one of your best friends…but right now, I can't be your confidante…this hurts too much." Ethan let himself out of my room, leaving me to cry and pray for Christian's safe return. I take my Charlie Tango balloon, from my memory box, to bed with me.
I think Ethan is right, I may still be in love with Christian. We're both emotionally immature...my Juliet to his Romeo. The time has come to fix my life.
I email Elizabeth and Mr. Roach, I need a personal day off work tomorrow. I apologize, but I'm cashing in one of the five days of paid leave Mr. Grey gave me for working during the relocation. As far as I'm concerned, if my day off is an issue – Elizabeth is cordially invited to fire me.
XXX – 3PPOV
Why isn't Ana answering her phone? This is fucking perfect. I can show up at her condo – a little buzzed and offer her a shoulder to cry on. Things will naturally progress. If by some miracle Christian Grey survives the helicopter crash, he won't survive her betraying him. Even if nothing happens. Pictures of us…naked, in her bed will shatter him and make her vulnerable to me. How fucking perfect. I can set my phone to video and prop on her dresser or something to film the whole encounter.
If Christian is dead –Elliot Grey will know Ana betrayed his brother on the day he died. Kate Kavanagh will throw her out of the condo. The next place Ana lives will be less secure…and no Grey Security! Jack shoved some liquid ecstasy and a ribbon of condoms in his pocket, grabbed his car keys and headed for the door. He wouldn't call again until he got to her condo. He wouldn't give her time to change her mind about company while she was waiting to hear news. Besides, she would be one of the first people the family notified. He would have the news firsthand. A fast eight-block drive from his condo to hers would be worth the time at this hour of the night.
WHAT THE FUCK IS HER FATHER'S TRUCK DOING HERE? WAIT…Grey must be dead. Okay…not bedding Ana tonight. But, sooner or later, she will have a meltdown over Grey's death, and I will be there to offer comfort and aide. The Grey family will shun her for betraying his memory. She might even be fired from Grey Publishing. Possible scenarios filled Jack's mind.
October 18 – APOV
Ethan is sleeping on the couch? The TV is on low. I go to the bathroom and come out. I am quiet, I don't want to wake him. When I come out of the bathroom, the body on the couch moves!
"Daddy!" I don't take more than three steps before he has me, holding me, telling me everything will be alright. I sob until I can't sob anymore.
"Annie, enough…calm down. Catch your breath." Dad hands me a tissue. "I either came here in the middle of the night, or Carla was throwing herself on the next plane headed toward Seattle. I needed to deliver some things to an antique store here in Seattle. Instead of waiting for the weekend, I came up last night. You were sleeping, Ethan let me in and gave me a spare key. He went to his parents' house."
"This is my fault," I sniffle.
"Christian?" Dad asked.
"Ethan. I don't love him, and he knows I still have feelings for Christian." I sniffled.
"Annie, I watched you around boys you went to school with, around Ethan, around José, around good-looking young vets, around my single available clients, around the men at the hardware store…you never wanted any of them. You are not at fault if they had hopes and dreams. If you didn't want Christian, then what he wanted would not matter, either." Dad sighed and hugged me, holding me close in his arms. "What do you want to do, little girl?"
"Church, I'm praying for Christian." I sniffled.
"I'll go with you," Dad promised.
I put on a yoga outfit Kate put in my closet. I brush and braid my hair. I put on sneakers, grab a wristlet with my keys, wallet and put my phone on vibrate. We walk to Christ Our Hope Catholic Church on West Second Avenue. They are open for morning prayers; their first service won't start until 9:30. I've been to Mass with Kate; I know what to do. I write Christian's initials on the prayer board before I light a candle for him. "Lord, please keep him safe. Please let him come home to his family who loves him so much." I repeat my prayers over and over until the sanctuary begins to fill with people. Dad and I are quiet as we return to the condo.
Kate texts me. "The search is back on. Taylor contacted a helicopter search and rescue team. They were up at seven this morning to fly grids. They are starting with his flight plan and working outward."
I text back. "I'm at the condo with Dad. I'm not answering the phone or door unless you, Ethan, etc. knock or call."
Kate texts me. "I'm heading for the condo now. Elliot, Carrick, Grace and Mia are flying to Portland with Sawyer. They will depart in minutes."
I text back. "Please tell them I lit a candle for Christian's safe return. I'm sending air hugs and prayers."
Dad and I make breakfast; Kate's incoming. Dad tells me about an estate auction for an older man he knew. He bid on a shed of stuff, sight unseen. He hoped some of the man's woodworking tools, etc. were in the shed. The shed was full of usable tools, antique tools, wood, antique furniture, antique doors and windows along with boxes of antique locks. He sorted the locks last week and kept a few dozen furniture locks. He has four totes of antique locks he arranged to sell to an antique store while he is here today. He laughed and told me the man used FoodSaver® bags to separate and store nails, screws, etc.
I thank Dad for coming today, but I want him to go home and go to class. Especially since his windfall from the shed needs itemized in his inventory database. This situation will sort itself and I won't be alone when Kate gets here.
Dad hugs me goodbye. He says Laura sends her love. He said he will call Carla and calm her down once he gets back to Montesano. Dad says I'm welcome in Montesano if anything happens and I need a shoulder to cry on.
XXX
Kate and I are quiet. The news channels rehash everything from last night. Kate and I cleaned until there is nothing left to clean. I clean methodically…one thing or task at a time. Kate's approach to cleaning is more sporadic…she's doing her laundry when she realizes the laundry center needs cleaned. After she cleans the laundry center, she realizes the cleaning supply closet needs cleaned. Midway through cleaning, she realizes the cleaning rags need laundered. She returns to the laundry center and puts her sheets in the dryer and cleaning rags in the washer. She returns to her room and ensuite to clean until she needs the sheets from the dryer. Her progression of tasks logically led from one to another, although her cleaning method seems scattered to me.
I clean the kitchen, dining room, living room and main bathroom. I made seafood Cobb salad, but neither Kate nor I are very hungry. I read manuscripts complete synopses, and try not to think about Christian. The TV is on low just for background noise.
Kate lets out a shriek when her phone rings. "Elliot," her brave voice quavers a little. "Really, when? Where? Call me!" She turned to me. "Air rescue spotted the wreckage, but there's no sign of Christian or Ros. The flight crew reported Charlie Tango is intact, but they think there's fire damage."
I send up a prayer for Christian and his family. I stay busy and try not stress, which isn't working.
XXX
I've fallen asleep, exhaustion overwhelmed me. Kate's shriek scares me wide awake. She answers her phone. "Elliot…" she listens and her face is blank. "Oh, thank god," she murmurs. "Call me back when they've arrived and you've seen him." She blew kisses at Elliot before she hung up.
"Christian got a message out. Taylor sent their coordinates to Air Rescue. They've spotted Christian and Ros and spoke with a ground rescue team. They will be at a hospital in Portland within two hours."
We both break down into sobs. Kate reaches for a bottle of wine. I reach for ice cream. Hours pass before there's a TV report showing Christian leaving the hospital with one arm wrapped around Grace and one wrapped around Mia. I can finally go to bed for a few hours. I put Charlie Tango away. He was my talisman. I don't want him damaged by my tossing and turning.
XXX – 3PPOV
Reynolds report to Jason Taylor: Miss Steele missed work today. Ray Steele in Seattle. They visited church, returned to condo. K. Kavanagh home today also. Ladies stayed close to home. R. Steele dropped off truckload of items to two places. Back home in Montesano before tonight's class started.