Sometimes… it just doesn't work out
Whenever he saw them together, he couldn't help but wish it was him. Every time he saw them together, the pit in his stomach sank deeper. Every time he saw them together, it felt like his heart was cracking all over again. His only wish was to see her happy, to see her safe, to see her recover from the wounds, old and new. And his desire was being fulfilled wasn't it? Then why, the only thing going through his head was that he wanted to be there, to be instead of him. To hold her, hug her, kiss her, and give her all the love in the world. Because she deserved every bit of it and more. But it could not be him, it wasn't possible. He had lost the chance, or to be more precise, he didn't have any in the first place. Somewhere in his mind, he had always known, that it wasn't possible, they had no chance, but he held on to hope. All he had was hope, hope that something would happen. But hope is a dangerous thing to play with because it either carries you along till you reach your goal or destroys you on the journey because the final goal was unattainable all along. And he, he had been thoroughly destroyed.
He had tried everything to make him stop thinking, to distract his mind, but nothing worked. Every second of the day, whether it was waking up or going to sleep, whether he was busy or not doing anything, she came across her mind. That was the case before too, she was always on his mind. But it was a totally different feeling now. Back then, every thought of her made him smile, every talk with her made him happy, and every interaction with her just made him love her even more. Now? Even now a thought or message from her made him grin before that smile was replaced by a painful look. Because right after her, came the painful reminder of what was never going to be. Their image had imprinted itself in his mind like a burnt CD, and it didn't look like it would go away any time soon. He had tried getting rid of these feelings, to talk to other people, to escape the imprisonment of his mind over his heart. But he could not muster up any energy to actually do so, just a single thought of her made him feel sick, that it wasn't him, and it could never be him. He knew he loved her, but he had actually fallen so hard you could not even see the bottom of that abyss. And now, there was neither a treasure at the bottom of the abyss nor a way out of it. The only thing he was left with was his thoughts, oh the ever-tortuous thoughts. They ruined his sanity, they made him sick, sometimes literally. They only brought him sorrow and kept his mind focused on the one thing it shouldn't be focused on.
Time would heal him, he realized it. But every second felt like an eternity, passing so slowly. He couldn't help but think about every possibility, every chance he had that he ruined. Even now, he held onto that bit of hope, that something might happen, if not now then in the future. But that ray of light in his heart was the very thing destroying him. He couldn't let it go, because no matter what it was she was his first thought and first concern. But her happiness was his first priority, a long way ahead of his. Because she was all he had left after his mom, and he couldn't live if he lost the most important part of his universe. And if that meant suffering and learning how to let things go, learning how to recover, then he could bear it. She had already suffered enough pain, now it was her chance to be happy and he wouldn't interfere no matter what. Because he realized one thing if nothing else, sometimes it just doesn't work out. And even if he is hurt, he is fine with it, because Annabeth is Percy's everything, and he would die before causing her any pain, even if that meant he had to travel through hell.