"I don't understand what you're saying Jane," Richard Gansey III padded into the combination kitchen bathroom of Monmouth Manufacturing and wearily pulled open the fridge.
"I said, we should go camping," Blue Sargent repeated, only through a mouthful of toothpaste it sounded more like. "I med ve shouve oh amping."
"Camping?"
She rinsed audibly. "Just for the weekend. You, me..."
His heart rate quickened irrationally.
"Ronan, Adam, Noah-we can find a spot on the ley line to make it easier for him. What do you think?"
"Why this weekend? Is it some obscure holiday I don't know about?"
"No, but..." She paused, gathering her thoughts. "Summer's nearly over, and who knows what's going to happen next year," she almost sounded sad. It was odd to imagine: Blue standing sadly in front of her bathroom mirror, holding her toothbrush. He was about to say something when she cut him off. "With school and work I mean," she added, dismissing her melancholy.
"Right, okay," he said firmly, turning the conversation away from the feelings and back to the facts. Gansey selected a bruised apple and inspected it critically. "Well if Adam can get off work I don't see why not. I don't have an RV with..."
"Oh god Gansey, you've never been real camping have you?"
He froze. "What do you mean real camping?"
"I mean wading in mud up to your ankles, cooking potatoes and carrots in tinfoil, burning marshmallows, getting ridiculous amounts of bug bites, and piling up in a leaky tent made for four with eight other people. Have you ever been real camping?"
Gansey realized with a sinking feeling he had not been camping the way Blue meant. He remembered driving around in RVs with Helen and his parents during campaigns in an attempt to fully encapsulate the wholesome American family. Someone from publicity would build a campfire and snap staged Kodak moments complete with fake laughter and perfectly crafted s'mores.
Even now, after a day of trekking mountain paths and searching caves for Glendower, he always returned to the safety and comfort of Monmouth...of home.
"I take it you're an expert on real camping?" He could hear rustling on the other line. From the sound of it, he guessed that Blue was trying to brush her hair while keeping the receiver balanced on her shoulder.
"I can teach you a thing or two," she said smugly. He imagined her, lips curled into a sideways smile, hair half put up in a mess of clips and bobby pins. It was significantly more comforting than the image of her and the sad toothbrush.
"Whatever you say Jane. I'll let the others know." She hung up with a familiar click. The kitchen was quiet. Gansey took another bite of his apple and ran a hand through his hair.
It took him a moment to remember he was alone. Ronan left for Adam's the night before and hadn't returned. But that was unsurprising, and Adam had thought to text from Ronan's cell so Gansey wouldn't worry. Which he would've, he thought, palms sweating a bit.
"Noah are you here? Blue called," he leaned his elbows on the counter and waited for his dead friend.
"What did she say?" Noah asked, his smudgy expression bright. His form wasn't completely solid without the presence of Blue, or a ley line nearby, but he seemed too happy to care.
Gansey had a feeling he already knew. "Jane's invited us camping. Real camping as she put, with tents and mud and everything." He grinned, and Noah grinned back. They were both subscribers to the whims of Blue Sargent.
"I suppose I should call Ronan," Gansey continued.
Noah nodded. "I'll see if Blue needs any help," he said brightly before vanishing.
Gansey took another bite of apple before pulling out his phone.
It rung eight times. "Hello? Gansey?" Adam sounded like he'd just woken up.
"Good morning...well nearly afternoon now Adam," Gansey's face broke into a shit-eating grin.
"It's my boss's birthday," he said tersely. "I've got the day off."
Good, Gansey thought. He needs more days off. "Where's Ronan?" He asked.
Adam went quiet, remembering whose phone he'd picked up. "Oh, uh...he's um in the shower. We were uh..."
"I got your text Adam, as long as I know he's in good hands I'm not worried," Gansey said quickly. He'd practiced it, running through how exactly he was going to approach the subject they'd been avoiding.
It's fine with me, he imagined himself saying. You can tell me what's going on between you and Ronan when you're ready. I'm not going to push and I'm not going to get angry. Especially since Blue and I...
"Gansey? You wanted to ask something?" Adam's voice brought him back to the present.
"Right," he started. "We're going camping. If you want I mean, Blue asked us all. Can you get off work?"
"Maybe," he yawned. Adam sounded tired, but he also sounded like he'd slept-which was an improvement.
"Good. Will you let Ronan know? Is Ronan coming home today? Does Chainsaw need to be fed?"
"We've got it under control," Adam huffed, but it didn't have much weight to it. "Goodbye Gansey," he concluded, accent cutting in gently.
"Bye Adam," He hung up and the kitchen was quiet again.
Adam set Ronan's phone on the cardboard box that functioned as his bedside table and fell back into the futon. His limbs felt heavy, but strangely they didn't ache. One of the side effects of being moderately happy he supposed.
"What did he want?" Ronan Lynch came back in, damp towel draped around his neck, dressed only in his boxers.
"Blue's planning a camping trip." Adam sat up to get a better look at him.
Ronan smirked, edging on a genuine smile.
"How'd you sleep?" Adam asked, hands grasping at the thin sheets. Ronan hadn't spent the night very often. He wasn't used to having him so close, creeping into his space with dark laughter and thoughtful eyes.
"I didn't really come to sleep, Adam," he flopped down beside him. "No nightmares though."
Adam leaned over and kissed him, before he could say anything else. He'd forgotten, for a moment, that that was something they did: that that was something he was allowed to do.
"I think Gansey knows," Adam tested the words carefully.
"Well he was bound to find out sometime."
Adam fidgeted nervously, eyes trained on his hands in the sheets. They'd been doing whatever it was they were doing for nearly three weeks now. It began at the Barns with late night conversations and meaningful glances. It began with a mutually initiated kiss, quick and nervous but more than okay. It began with covert hand holding under the table at Nino's. It had definitely begun, Adam just wasn't entirely sure what it was.
"He's not going to give a fuck. I know he won't. He wants the same thing I want."
"What?" Adam's eyebrows furrowed. He was fairly certain Richard Gansey didn't want this it with him.
"To see you happy, fucker. We want you happy," Ronan finished.
Adam was going to point out that Ronan didn't have a very good "happy" track record either, but he saw the look on Ronan's face and thought better of it.
"So are you going camping?" Ronan asked. Sunlight bled in through the drab curtains of the apartment's only window. It caught in Ronan's eyelashes. The question lingered.
"I can switch shifts," Adam breathed. "And we can tell him-them, this weekend. If you want."
Ronan slung an arm around Adam's chest and pressed his face into his side. "Anything for you Parrish."
300 Fox Way was never truly quiet. Screaming tea kettles and off-key shower songs occupied the mornings. Orla's phone calls clashed with shuffling strangers tracking dirt during group readings in the afternoon. Late at night there were whispered conversations and the clacking of Persephone's knitting needles.
Blue Sargent sat in the kitchen and listened, because although 300 Fox Way was never quiet, it was quieter without Maura.
Blue's shift at Nino's didn't start for another couple of hours, and she'd already made arrangements for camping:
"Yes Mr. Pemberton I'll need one campsite reserved for Saturday evening,"
"What was that young lady?"
Blue sighed. She had regularly walked Cupcake, Walter Pemberton's mangy German Shepard mix before his tendency to bite and frequent bouts of fleas proved too bad for business.
Explaining why she had to let go of Cupcake the demon dog to Mr. Pemberton was difficult because of the sensitive nature of the exchange, and also because Walter's hearing "wasn't what it used to be." Blue was sure it was from blasting Elvis songs in his teenage years.
"A CAMPSITE MR. PEMBERTON. FOR BLUE SARGENT."
"Oh, Ms. Sargent, How is the uh...dog walking business?" he grumbled.
"Booming as ever Mr..."
"What's that dear? You'll have to speak up."
"IT'S GOING VERY WELL MR. PEMBERTON. I'M SORRY AGAIN ABOUT CUPCAKE."
"No trouble, you do what you have to do Ms. Sargent. Now what did you want?"
"A CAMPSITE FOR SATURDAY."
"Saturday was it? Is your mother back in town?"
Something welled up in Blue's chest. "IT'S JUST FOR MY FRIENDS AND I MR. PEMBERTON."
"Your blender guy?"
"FRIENDS AND I."
"Alright," he said hesitantly. Henrietta locals were quite right in their distrust of Aglionby boys.
"WE'LL TAKE GOOD CARE OF THE CAMPSITE MR. PEMBERTON. YOU HAVE MY WORD."
"I trust you Ms. Sargent, it's those boys that concern me. I suppose with you there it'll be alright. Goodbye Ms. Sargent. Say hello to your mother for me."
He hung up before she could say anything more.
The quiet became lonely when someone brought up what was missing.
"Does everyone have a sleeping bag?" It was hard to take Gansey seriously in his mauve polo. Although it was hard to take Ronan seriously either given that he was quickly turning the same shade as said shirt.
"Ronan and I do," Adam replied. "But he forgot sunscreen."
Ronan scowled, but was met with one of Adam's rare half smiles.
"I have sunscreen," Gansey replied, looking between them with a slight smile of his own. "Do you need any help over there Jane?"
Ronan couldn't see Blue. The only sign of her was the rustling of presumably camping supplies in the tiny shed at the corner of her backyard.
"I'm just fine on my own thanks," she said, unable to hide the irritation in her voice.
There was a crash followed by a string of swears. Adam looked uncomfortably at his shoes, and Gansey twitched nervously. Both were not particularly eager to aid a pissed off Sargent. "Fine," Ronan breathed. "But you owe me."
When he came in Blue was perched tiptoe on a rusty footstool, teeth gritted and hair wild as she strained for green bag on the top of some poorly assembled wooden shelves. The path to her was littered with broken flowerpots, punctured hoses, and a myriad of plastic lawn furniture.
"What happened?"
Blue turned to look at him. "I knocked a lantern off of the shelf and it hit my foot. I can't reach the damn tent and every time I try I knock something else over," she snapped.
It was hard not to laugh at Blue Sargent covered in potting soil and cobwebs, looking down at the offending lantern with disdain.
"Get out of the way, I'll get it," Ronan replied, weaving his way through the mess.
"Watch out for the rake."
"Who leaves a rake in the middle of the fucking floor?"
"Persephone," she said matter-of-factly. " You've been warned Lynch."
Ronan didn't need the footstool to reach the tent, it came down in a cloud of dust and dead bugs. "Why are we doing this again?" he asked after they'd finished coughing.
"Because Gansey's never slept in a tent, and Noah's never built a fire, and Adam's never had a s'more and..." she stopped, as if she was about to add something important but didn't know how to word it. "This summer has been a little..."
Ronan thought about the Gray Man, and the night terrors, and the 4th of July. "Fucked up," he finished for her.
"I want it to end in something happy, for all of us."
"Well aren't you poetic."
"Adam took a day off work, isn't that cause to celebrate?" Blue picked up the lantern and stuck it in a box of other supplies. She weaved her way around him and back out into the scorched grass.
Ronan smirked and lifted the tent onto his shoulder. She was right, it was.
"Okay, looks like we're ready," Gansey popped the trunk of the Camaro and Blue put her box in.
"Where's Noah?" she asked before he flickered into view beside her. He ran his fingers through her hair in greeting. Ronan put the tent in beside the box and watched Gansey try to mask his confusion regarding the small, dusty bag that was going to become their shelter for the night.
"You have the map right Jane?"
"Aye aye captain."
"Then you should ride shotgun," Adam said.
Gansey looked at Blue meaningfully. She shrugged and climbed into the Camaro.
"Let's get this show on the road," she said, unfolding her map and grinning.
"Here Noah, make me one," Blue handed Noah a skewer. He looked at it, a bit perplexed before she handed him a veggie dog and he remembered what it was for. She smiled, ripping another sheet of tin foil from the roll and handing it to Adam.
They were side by side at the picnic table, cutting up potatoes and carrots and wrapping them in bundles of foil to throw on the fire. Ronan was poking absently at said fire, swatting mosquitoes away and coughing whenever the smoke blew in his face.
Noah was tending to Blue's veggie dog, turning it carefully on the shiny skewer and lifting it from the coals to inspect once in awhile, ensuring that it didn't burn.
Gansey seemed the most maladjusted of their party. He, as he himself insisted, was in charge of setting up the tent. He'd been fiddling around with it for 15 minutes now, and nothing remotely resembling a tent had sprung up. Gansey was getting a bit flustered.
"Here, have something to eat at least," Blue nearly made him jump when she snuck up behind him with a hot dog and foil full of vegetables. "I can set up the tent if you want," she added.
"Not necessary Jane," he said, taking the food gratefully and sitting down on a tree stump. "I want the quintessential camping experience, therefore I should do these things myself."
Blue took a seat beside him and snagged a piece of potato from his foil. She tilted her head this way and that, inspecting Gansey's so called tent.
"As long as you figure it out before dark I suppose," she grinned, and moved so her shoulder was pressed to his. He stiffened slightly.
"Come on, we're going to show Adam how to make s'mores ala Sargent."
Noah inspected his marshmallow closely, prodding at it with a mostly visible finger before turning it to Blue for her approval.
"Well, the true Blue Sargent marshmallow is lightly charred with a mostly liquefied center."
"You mean burnt Jane."
"The burnt marshmallow is a delicacy Gansey."
Gansey had his glasses on now, contacts deemed too troublesome for the woods, and the dim firelight shone on his mussed hair and concentrated expression. "How are you coming along Adam?" He said.
Adam appeared to be going for perfectly browned, his marshmallow hovering above the coals.
"Would you hurry up Parrish? The chocolate's melting." Ronan said, though it was hard for him too look all that irritated with marshmallow on his face.
"It's my first one," he drawled. "It should be good right?"
"Right," Blue said, meeting his eyes. She'd been a bit surprised when she found out Adam had never had a s'more. But his family wasn't the friendly family outing type, and sleeping in a tent seemed to be more fun when it was in contrast to sleeping in a house. There was a lot riding on this s'more.
They all watched him take the first bite, and Ronan seemed especially amused when Adam's face lit up and his eyes went wide.
"How have I been missing this for 18 years of my life?" he mumbled through a mouth full of marshmallow.
"So what do we do next in real camping Jane?" Gansey said.
"Ghost stories?" Ronan suggested.
Noah rolled his eyes. "I'm not telling you any stories Lynch."
"We usually sang," Blue said. "My mom did I mean, everyone else just followed along."
They were quiet for a moment, and Blue felt her insides squirm uncomfortably. She focused her eyes on the fire as it popped and crackled, flames dancing languidly.
"Sing something Blue," Noah said, and she felt a smile curling on her lips.
And she did, her voice softening as it rose and fell. Noah tapped his foot, and Ronan looked like he was about to sing along.
"I didn't know you could sing," Adam said when she was done.
"That was beautiful Jane," Gansey said.
"I can feel the nostalgia," Noah said.
"You are nostalgia," Ronan replied.
"Let's sleep in the Pig."
"You know how weird that would sound out of context right?"
"C'mon Parrish it'll be more comfortable. And more fun."
"We're not having sex in Gansey's car Ronan, if that's what you're getting at."
Ronan rolled his eyes (probably to mask the disappointed look that indicated that that was what he was getting at.) "He left the top down, it'll be fun."
"Why the hell did he leave the top down? Someone could've stolen..."
"Is that a yes or...?" Ronan poked at the dying fire with a stick. Blue and Gansey had retreated to the tent an hour ago (expecting to be joined by the others), and Noah had vanished for the night. Adam wasn't tired yet, remarkably, and evidently neither was Ronan.
"Get the sleeping bags," he sighed.
Adam's neck was bent awkwardly over Ronan's arm. Their socked feet were tangled and scrunched against the car door. "This isn't comfortable," he muttered. "Or fun."
Ronan pressed a kiss to his neck, and repositioned his arm so Adam had more room.
"We went camping, when I was little," Ronan said. "It was fun."
"Yeah?" Ronan didn't talk about his childhood often.
"My dad would tell stories, and my mom would sing," he laughed. "Kind of like Blue."
"And Matthew would burn all the marshmallows and Declan and I..." he paused. Adam knew it was hard to talk about the past, when he and Declan were friends. "Anyway it was fun. Are you having fun Parrish?" He asked softly.
Adam thought about it for a moment. Fun and happiness were still concepts he was wary of. "I am, because we're all here together. I never got anything like that."
"I'm sorry...that you didn't."
Adam never talked about his childhood. He shrugged. "Me too."
Adam kissed him and suddenly it was all hands and and tongue and Ronan's spastic pulse beneath his finger tips. Ronan pulled at the hem of Adam's shirt. His fingers found the bruise. Adam winced.
"What? What is it?" His fingers stopped, the touch became gentle. "Where did you get the bruise Parrish," he growled.
"Everything's shitty at the garage. Accidents can..."
"What happened?" He replied through gritted teeth.
"I was reaching for a tool box on one of those ancient shelves and it fell apart. I got a wrench to the gut."
"Adam you can sue over that kind of dangerous shit! Are you okay?"
"I'm fine and I need the job."
"If their goddamn shelves just fall apart you can't keep working there! What's going to crap out on you next huh?"
"I'm fine."
"No Adam," his face was bright red. "It's not fine. I love you too much to let you keep working in that hell hole. That's ridiculous I can't..."
"Lynch..."
"Parrish this is not a fucking discussion, I love you and I can't see you hurt like...oh shit," he stopped.
"You love me?"
He looked embarrassed, eyes down so his long lashes were all Adam could see. "Well I said it twice just now didn't I?"
Adam scrambled out of the Camaro. "We've got to tell them."
"What? Now?"
Adam's heart was thundering in his chest, and his whole body felt warm and breathless. "You love me and I love you and I want them to know so it feels real. Because I can't remember the last time I was this happy."
He tapped on the tent. Ronan was laughing, his smile bright in the dark.
"Um Gansey? Blue?"
She could hear his breaths, soft and slow between the chirps of crickets. It was cold, and lonely all of the sudden now that he wasn't smiling or laughing or going on about Glendower. Her heart clenched. She'd have to get used to this feeling when he was gone.
"Gansey? Are you awake?" She heard herself say, shivers running down her spine.
"Yeah," he mumbled, voice thick with sleep. "What's wrong Jane?
"Nothing...I'm sorry, go back to sleep."
"No," he rolled over so he was facing her. "What is it?" He yawned and reached over his head for his glasses. "I can't see anything hold on," he whispered.
He shoved his glasses back on and met her frown with a dazed smile. "Am I doing this camping thing right?"
"Yeah," she nodded, voice cracking. "You are."
"What is it Jane?" He looked as if her sadness had startled him awake.
"Gansey I can't..."
"Is it about your mom? Because I'm sure she's okay."
It wasn't but it was easier than the truth. "How do you know? How can you be sure of anything?" His brows furrowed together with worry.
"I'm sorry. I don't have a reason, but for some reason I'm sure she'll be okay. I know it'll all be okay," he paused. "For you Blue, it must be alright in the end."
She shook her head. "Why do you have to say it like that?" She laughed.
"Like what?" He asked, mouth quirking up on one end.
"Like you're some sentimental old poet." They laughed and her lungs hurt and they'd left the tarp off the tent so they could see the stars. It was one of those nights where she wished more than ever that there was no prophecy. "Gansey," she wheezed, through a too wide smile.
"Yeah?"
"I would kiss you, if I could. You know that right?"
It was quiet for a moment, and she thought he might be feigning sleep to avoid confirming what she was sure he knew.
"I know," he said at last, his voice barely audible. "I wish we could."
"I do too." She slipped out of her sleeping bag, teeth chattering and legs dotted with goosebumps, and he unzipped his sleeping bag for her to join him. She did, curling up to the warmth of his chest and tucking her head in the crook of his neck.
They were good at this: silent gestures returned without need for words. She could tell he was nervous by the way his arms curled around her shoulders, hesitant and twitchy as he reciprocated the affection he didn't expect.
"Are you okay?" She whispered.
"I'm more than okay Jane," he squeaked.
"You should take your glasses off, so you don't break them."
"Right, yes, yeah I should..."
"Um Gansey? Blue?" There was a tap on the tent and they broke away with a start.
"Adam?" Blue asked, scrambling back into her sleeping bag.
"Yeah, can I come in?"
Gansey's arms were tingling from having Blue so close, and now Adam was staring at him with this wildly happy look he'd never seen on him before and his heart was hammering harder. "What is it?" He asked shakily.
"Ronan and I..." He laughed, and Gansey was startled again because Adam didn't usually laugh like that. His laugh was restrained, like his joy, but this was passionate and free. "We're dating. I love him. He loves me. We're happy, holy shit," he gasped. "I've never been this damn happy."
Ronan looked at Gansey nervously. "We needed to tell you."
"And I need you to know that I'm happy for you both," Gansey said, eyes meeting Ronan's. "And that I'm so glad you're happy. Because you deserve so much happiness," he looked to Adam.
"And you totally guessed it didn't you Gansey," Blue cut in.
"He did not!" They said at the same time. Adam was blushing.
"I had my suspicions."
"See," Blue shouted. "Now come here you guys and let me hug you."
The huddled in for a strange smushed group hug.
"You told them?" Noah materialized.
Ronan nodded.
"Cool," he replied, bobbing his smudgy head. "Can we go to bed now? In a big pile like Blue said?"
"Hell yeah," Blue said, meeting Gansey's eyes.
Right, he thought. Real camping.