Third Wheel
By KingoftheJungle1993
February. A month filled with the anticipation of the single most romantic holiday known to man. Valentine's Day. Now even though the entire second half of the month after February 14 was Post-Valentine's Day and the hype of the holiday would settle down for most, there was still one couple that always celebrated February as if the whole month was Valentines.
That couple is Norbert and Treeflower.
When most couples would settle back from the Valentine's Day spirit once the holiday had become past tense, Norbert and Treeflower's undying love for each other would still be very much present throughout the entire month, and throughout the entire year. There was no expiry date on their love, and there never will be.
And that's where our story begins.
On the cold and wintery day of February 21, 1998, beaver brothers Norbert and Daggett were on the couch watching television. A bowl of oh-so buttery and salty popcorn sat betwixt Norbert's feet for the brothers to share while they watched their movie. The movie in question was "The Return of The Crawling Spleen", which is a sequel to the original Crawling Spleen film that Norbert and Daggett watched when they first moved into their dam two years prior.
"Pfft! They'll never defeat the newly resurrected Crawling Spleen! Now that it's got an opposable thumb AND a kneecap!" Daggett scoffed as he questioned the intelligence of the characters on screen. He had no control of how smart the characters would be in the film. That responsibility was for the writers. And in Daggett's eyes, they had failed.
"Are they dumb or what, Norby?" Daggett asks his brother.
"Oh, I've seen dumber." Norbert remarked while stuffing his face with popcorn.
"No way."
"Yes way."
"No way."
"What's that on your chest?" Norbert asked while sticking his pointer finger out at his brother's chest.
Daggett couldn't help but look down to see what he was talking about. Unbeknownst to him, it was a trick. Norbert flicks his nose, making Daggett feel foolish and upset.
"Hey!"
"What's that on your chest?"
"Eh?"
Daggett looks down again. He falls for his trap twice and gets nose-flicked by Norbert again.
The doorbell rings.
"Hey!"
"Who's at the door?"
Daggett expects this not to be another trap, as his brother did not specifically fool him into thinking that there was something on his chest. However, people always have ulterior motives. Because right after, he gets his nose flicked a third time by Norbert, causing him to fall down onto the floor. At this point, Daggett is just easy prey for Norbert.
"HEY!" Daggett fumed.
"Ac-tu-ally. That should be my heart-throbe Treeflower at the door." Norbert informs as he picks up a framed photo of him and his girlfriend as he sinks into the couch sighing contently.
"Ahhh, my soul jumps for that woman…"
"Yuck!" Daggett retorts.
"SO, don't do anything to em-barrass me."
Daggett glared at his brother whilst walking to the door and opened it. Standing at the doorway is Norbert and Daggett's father Leonard Beaver. He has his eyes covered, almost as if he is playing "peek-a-boo" of sorts. Daggett, being the astronomically unintelligent beaver he is, sees no one at the door and looks to the side of his father to try to find whoever could be knocking. He shuts the door and takes his first few steps back to the couch, when the doorbell is heard again.
He opens the door again, still not noticing his father standing in the doorway practically taking up the entirety of it. Daggett does the same procedure as before, still not noticing. Norbert, however, can very much see his father out of the corner of his vision.
"Dad?"
Norbert averts his attention from the framed photo of him and Treeflower and looks to see Leonard and an unknowing Daggett at the door.
Daggett shuts the door once again, but for a split second, Leonard finally shows his face to his son and Daggett not noticing due to the door being shut at the last half-second.
However, a second later, Daggett finally realizes and does not hesitate to open the door right back open. Only now he sees his father at the door, his face now uncovered.
"Dad!" Daggett gasps happily, eager to see his father.
"Ya found me!" Leonard cheers to his son.
The last time Norbert and Daggett saw their father was when they both got kicked out of their old dam due to their mother giving birth to their little sisters Stacy and Chelsea, and they haven't seen their old man since then. Granted, they have seen and talked to their mother Rose multiple times since then, but not their father.
"Hey there, boys! I almost thought you were gonna leave your old man hangin' out there forever!" Leonard greets his sons in his usual western accent.
"I was just showin' all your friends your naked baby pictures!" He announced as he pulled out a long stack of photos from his wallet, presumably of the boys.
"WHAT?!" Both of the brothers screeched, horrified.
Leonard couldn't help but let out a hard wheezy chuckle from their reactions.
"Just kiddin'!"
Norbert and Daggett sigh in relief.
"Now let's get this party started!"
He threw off his hawaiian shirt themed jacket as it landed onto Norbert, completely covering him.
"Hey I know what we should do first!"
"What, dada?" Daggett asked his father, eager to know what he has planned.
"It would be hilarious if you were screaming at the top of your lungs, bouncin' off the walls, and spinnin' in circles until you're so dizzy you think you could walk on the sky!" Leonard suggests.
"Ohhh I can do that already! Watch! WAAAAOOOOOOOOHHHHHHH!" Daggett screeches as he does just that.
Norbert hops off the couch and can already see the damage this could cause.
"Uh…don't do that."
Norbert and Leonard watches as Daggett runs all over the walls and screeches like a dying banshee until. Crash! He crashes into something offscreen as Norbert and Leonard flinched at the sight.
"Somethin' wrong with that boy." Leonard remarked as he makes his way over to the couch.
"What the?!"
Norbert looks over and sees a sight that immediately boils his blood.
"He's sitting in my spot." Norbert fumed through gritted teeth.
Leonard casually sits right in his oldest son's spot on the couch, while Daggett continues bouncing off the walls and the couch cushions as well, still hyperactive as ever.
"Ooooh! He's sitting in your spot!" Daggett points out.
"Oh, I'm sitting in your spot now. Is that it? Eh?" Leonard teases his son.
"No it's okay, dad. Please…sit."
Norbert attempts to make his way back on the couch and back into his original spot. Lucky for him, his father scoots to the middle of the couch to let his son sit back down on it.
"So, dad…great to see you. But…why the sudden visit?"
"What? Do I need an excuse to see my two boys?"
"Well…"
"Dontcha miss me? Huh?" Leonard pokes his son's nose.
"Well yes but-"
"Well then get over here and scratch your old man's corn! Haha!" Leonard insists as he brings his very crusty paw to his son's face as Norbert's nose gets a terrible whiff of his father's almost toxic foot odor.
Norbert gives in and very hesitantly scratches his father's paws, as Leonard sighs contently.
"That's the spot. You do it just as good as your mother does it."
Norbert cringes at this.
"I tell you, that woman pleases me like no other. She can do things to me that exceed my expectation of happiness." He chuckles.
"Don't need to hear that."
"Makes me just want to pinch her and-"
"That's okay dad." Norbert starts getting antsy and twiddles his thumbs around, clearly not wanting to hear about the more "risque" details of his parent's relationship.
"And then I give her my-"
"I DON'T THINK WE WANT TO HEAR THIS!" Norbert thunders as he covers his ears, right before blushing hard. He knows full well that he has done all of that stuff to Treeflower before, and does not want to think about how his parents do it.
Norbert blushes out of embarrassment, catching his father's attention.
"Hey, are you blushin'?"
"NO! N-no, not at all." Norbert claims as he pulls himself together.
Daggett pops up from behind the couch and begins taunting his brother.
"Norby's embarrassed!"
"AM NOT!"
Leonard interjects.
"Well I'd be blushin' if I had a big chunk of jalapeno pepper hangin' from my face."
"Wh-wha?! Food on my face?! Where?! WHERE?!" Norbert hurriedly rushes to the nearest mirror, trying desperately to find it.
Leonard cracks a snicker before breaking the news to his son.
"Just kiddin'!"
Both he and Daggett let out a big hearty laugh at Norbert's gullibility.
"Oh that's…that-that's real funny, dad. A real knee-slapper." He sighs angrily.
Norbert sighs angrily at his father and his brother's combined idiocy. How long must he suffer this?
The majority of that day was a challenge for Norbert. Having to deal with not only his brother, but his father was no picnic for him. After all, his family was the reason for all his pent-up stress that Treeflower had finally helped him vent out. But now he could feel it coming right back with each second he spent in the vicinity of both of them.
And things would only get much, much worse for him from there.
It was later on in the day, 3:19 PM to be exact. Norbert was attempting to try to relax with Leonard in the middle of the couch and Daggett at the far end of the couch watching horror movies still.
"Dad, when are you planning on leaving?" Norbert asks.
"Whenever I feel like it. You got a problem with me, boy? Huh?" Leonard taunted his son again.
"No, dad. I don't have a problem."
"That's good, son."
Norbert lets out an irritated sigh. Could this day get any worse?
The doorbell rang. Norbert immediately remembers that he had previously planned a date with Treeflower at 3:30 that same day. And now she's here.
"Treeflower?! I FORGOT ALL ABOUT HER!" He hollered while shaking his head worriedly.
"I'll get it."
Leonard hopped off the couch and started making his way to the door to answer it.
"NOOOOOO!" Norbert screeched.
Leonard made his way to the door and opened it covering his eyes again, just like he did to Daggett earlier that day.
Standing at the door is Treeflower in her typical hippie outfit that she always wears during her days at work with her band The Friendly Chartreuse Bubblegum Machine. She had just gotten off of work to spend her date with Norbert and she wanted to look her very best for her boyfriend. Unlike Daggett from before, she actually sees Leonard.
"Hi there! Are you Norbert's dad?" Treeflower asks.
"Why yes I am! Pleased to meet you! Come right in!"
Leonard brings Treeflower into the dam as Treeflower follows behind him.
"I was just coming to spend the day with my cute little Norby." She giggles while noticing her boyfriend.
"NORBY?! Wait a minute…Is-is this nice young lady your girlfriend?!" Leonard asks excitedly, very much eager to hear his son's response.
"Well…um…I…uh…erm…uh…" Norbert stutters, trying to say "yes" but very nervous due to being under pressure.
Treeflower blushes hard at this, thus being a dead giveaway to Leonard that his assumptions are correct. She is Norbert's girlfriend.
"Aha! I knew it! Norb, you never told me you were a ladies man! This is just rich!" Leonard layghs.
"Um y-yeah…yes it is." Norbert says.
"How'd you two first meet?"
"We first met at The Beaver Pond Rock Festival two years ago. And it was the best day ever for both of us…" Treeflower reminisces.
"And here I always thought Daggett was the ladies man! This is just hysterical! Hahaha!"
"Ugh…" Norbert sighs.
"Hey, why don't you spend the day with us?" Leonard offers.
"Oh I'd love to! I'd love to know more about you, sir!" Treeflower graciously accepts.
Leonard, Norbert, Daggett, and Treeflower make their way over to the couch as Leonard and Daggett sit back down, while Norbert sits where he was before. There appears to be almost no room for Treeflower.
"Um, sorry there's no room for you, babe. My dad kinda takes up the whole couch."
"It's okay, Norby, I'll just sit on your lap like this…"
Treeflower gets up and sits on her boyfriend's lap with her arms wrapped around his neck. Norbert blushes but ultimately accepts it, before wrapping his arm around his girlfriend's body while the four of them watch the movie.
On one hand, Norbert is happy that his girlfriend is cuddled next to him on the couch, but on the other hand he is still not happy that his obnoxious father is there with him at the same time.
At this point, Leonard is basically a third wheel to Norbert.
The scene fades to hours later at 7:48 PM, where Leonard is conversing with Treeflower about Norbert while Norbert sits with his arms crossed and an irritated expression on his face.
"And here's Norbert's baby pictures. Ain't he just adorable?" Leonard pulled out the same stack of photos from when he first arrived and shows them to Treeflower.
She sees the photos of the infant version of her boyfriend and immediately blushes with how adorable he looked.
"Awwww! He was cute then, and he's still cute now!" Treeflower cuddled her boyfriend closely.
"Uck…" Norbert winced.
Just then, Leonard's flip phone rings and he pulls it out of his pocket to see who it is. Turns out, it's his wife Rose calling.
"Scuse' me boys, I gotta get this."
Leonard hops off the couch and heads outside of the dam to take the call, leaving the three of them on the couch and finally giving Norbert some privacy with Treeflower.
"Your dad seems like quite a good guy, Norby." She smiles.
"Yeah, I guess so."
"I wonder what the rest of your family is like."
"Well my mom is a nice woman and my little sisters are just the sweetest little things. I should invite you over to me and Dag's old dam some time to show you to them."
"That sounds nice, Norby." She smiles.
Then, Leonard arrives back in the dam.
"Welp, better get back home before your mom comes back."
"How come?" Norbert asks.
"Well your mom brought your little sisters to your grandma's this weekend…and, well…it got very lonely in the dam without her and I just didn't wanna be by myself."
"So that's why you came here?"
"Yep."
"You're just kidding, right?"
"Fraid' not, son. I love that woman so much. I still remember our first date. I gave her that shoelace as a gift and she loved it so much she's been using it to floss her teeth ever since."
Norbert pauses for a bit and is reminded of the doorstop that Treeflower gave her at the rock festival all those years back. He realizes that Treeflower's love for Norbert and his parent's love for each other were very much similar, and him being separated from her for only just a weekend brought him feelings of loneliness. Hence why he came to his sons' dam in the first place.
"Awwww! That reminds me so much of me and Norby…" Treeflower stated while smiling.
"Yeah…but luckily they're on their way home now so I should be headin' out before she arrives home."
"Oh. Well bye, Dad." Norbert farewells his father.
"Bye, Dada!" Daggett farewells as well.
"Bye, you two. Biiiig hug!"
"Hey that's my li-" Norbert interjects before being cut off by his father squeezing the life out of both him and his brother. He always does this to Daggett, and the only person to do this to him is Treeflower.
"Later, boys!"
"Bye, Dad!" Norbert and Daggett farewelled.
"Bye, Mr. Beaver!" Treeflower farewelled Leonard as he finally walked out of the door on his way back to his dam.
Norbert finally lets out a big sigh of relief, now that his father is finally gone and now it's just Norbert, Treeflower, and Daggett by themselves again.
"Well now that my dad's gone, we have some privacy for ourselves now. You wanna spend the night with me?" Norbert asks his girlfriend.
"I would love to, Norby…"
Norbert and Treeflower make their way back to the couch to snuggle up together, now with much more room than before. Norbert lies down on the couch with his head resting on the couch arm, while Treeflower rests her head on her boyfriend's chest while she gets her hair played with by him. She cuddles his furry chest sweetly and lovingly while she blushes.
"Wanna order take-out for dinner later on?" Norbert asks.
"That sounds nice, sweetie…" Treeflower smiles.
Daggett looks over at them and winces.
"Yuck…get a room you spooty lovebirds!"
Norbert simply glares at him, not wanting to ruin the intimate moment between him and Treeflower.
All in all, today was a pretty wild day for Norbert. But at the end of the day, he still enjoyed it somewhat. Even if today didn't go as he had planned, his day was improved once again by Treeflower.
She really is his guardian angel, and the best girlfriend Norbert could ever ask for.
The End.