AN: I do not own MGE

Let me be clear. I am single by choice.

I have not been, nor will I ever be, an incel. And can we use a better term than that? It's just insulting. Some guys rather be alone than date and there is nothing wrong with that. I mean, it's better to be lonely alone than to be lonely with somebody.

That's how I've felt for a long time now. I don't wanna get hurt no more.

My name is Johann. I'm 33 as of last week. Still single, which six years ago wasn't really a surprise. Most guys in their 20's are single and desperate for companionship. At least they were.

Then the invasion happened.

I was at a baseball game with my uncle when it happened. I finally took him to the All Star Game like I always promised. It was during the third inning when it happened.

Ohtani was at bat when the first portal opened. A big spider like creature stepped out first (later learned this was called an Ushi Oni) and it charged into the stands. A guy selling hot dogs was grabbed and dragged before anyone could react. Then, more came and chaos erupted.

Me and my uncle were on our fourth beers (but for our size, more like our seconds really, I was big then. Over 350 and he was too) and we started swinging. A family of four in front of us was terrified and we wound up helping them out and a few others escape from the chaos. I remember being out of breath but carrying two of the kids to safety. I ran at least a mile non stop. My uncle ran then whole time too, not once stopping.

In the end, we escaped the stadium and made it to one of the local bars to safety. It's when we saw Druella's announcement on TV. The world was being overtaken and we would share in the glory of the Mamo Empire.

I thought it was going to end in a nuclear winter but it didn't take them a week to take over. Magic and Lust really was a mother fucker (joke intended).

It wasn't bad. Peace was pretty much over night. No more war. National debt was a thing of the past. Pollution was gone within months. Foster care and orphanages were cleaned out around the world and kids everywhere had homes now. Best of all, no more politics! Thank god.

Still, wasn't all sunshine and rainbows. Men were now the main currency in the world. The mamo would see a man they liked and take him on the spot or stalk him and wear him down. It happened to my buddy Tom, he got abducted by Lucy right after a pick up basketball game. Literally, the Harpy swopped down and carried him off. They have two kids now and Tom isn't with his cheating bitch of an ex Mary anymore.

Tai met his wife Lauren at the gym. My brother in all but blood has always been a body builder. I was surprised he wasn't taken during the first wave but it worked out for the best. His Orc wife and him have a fitness blog and YouTube channel. He was able to retire in his 30's and they just started their working out while expecting series.

Royce met his wife on a speed date. He was one of 5 men meeting 25 mamo. The thing about speed dating is it's sort of a tax write off. Since the invasion happened there's been a single male federal tax implemented. It's 10% higher than all other taxes and Royce went on the date to get the write off. That's where he met Elisa, a Satyr, and they wound up going out for dinner right after meeting. He was the bachelor among us. Never settling. Now he has a house with a pool.

Me though, I'm single. I've been single most of my life. I had a girlfriend in college but it didn't last. It wasn't meant to and I stayed single rest of my five years there. Tried dating after but once you get rejected by over a thousand women on dating apps and over a dozen poor dates, you kind of realize the game isn't meant for you.

The invasion didn't change that either.

I continued to work my 9-5 everyday. HR is a never ending battle. I just had to adjust to some new things and learn new policies and guidelines. The harassment was worse and I had to help enforce no marriage at the workplace doctrine more than once. Thank you spray bottle!

I lost weight too. With everything going on and all the changes, I was able to clear up my diet and get a good fitness regiment going. I lost 80 pounds the first year and got down to 200 for the first time in years by the third. I've kept that weight and keep working out for me.

Again, that brings me to myself being an Incel. I hear that from time to time from cat callers (mostly Cheshires) when they taunt me. I'm a catch now apparently and I'm a menace to society for not getting married or dating. Some of my coworkers have tried hitting on me but I refer them to company policy on romantic relationships. HR is off limits.

The gym has been okay. Once in a while a Manticore or Hellhound likes to approach me in the middle of a set and offers to spot me. Unfortunately, I always carry a bottle of Holy Water and pepper spray on me. I never bothered women before at the gym before the invasion, I'd at least expect the same courtesy in return. Still, my cardio sessions are the best. I get to watch movies and anime freely during it.

Still, I hate the high taxes. It's not fun the singles tax but I do monthly speed dates for my government stipend. It helps before my tax return in March.

I put on black slacks and a polo to match. Since my weight loss sometimes I forget I'm the one staring in the mirror. I think to myself I could've been an actor or maybe I could've been a PJ but I shove those thoughts down. I was for and trim in my early 20's. I have no one to blame but me for running to food and soda and beer to drown my pain.

I wish I was stronger then.

I grabbed my house keys and wallet before leaving home and catching my Uber to the sanctioned speed dating area (read bar). I spend 15 minutes talking to my driver about the Giants and how they're in first place, looking to make a run at the playoffs before he drops me off. His name was Prakash. Married to his wife for 30 years. He was doing Uber to help pay for a Hawaii trip. I gave him a 50 tip.

When I get inside, I go to the government rep and give them my name and ID. It takes ten minutes for me to be signed in and set up at a table. There's four other guys waiting. They're all on their phones. Two of them have shit eating grins. One with a baggy suit says he's looking forward to losing his virginity. Another just cleans his glasses.

I guess they don't feel like socializing.

A Demon appears in a pool of hellfire after a few minutes of Temple Run and gives us a rundown of the protocol. I'm the only repeat visitor and everyone else isn't familiar with protocol.

1. Five minutes per person.

2. We have to go through all 20 dates.

3. Keep it classy.

4. No touching.

The college kids just nod their heads enthusiastically and the man with glasses gives a thumbs up.

The demon looks to me and smiles. "Maybe this time you'll go out with someone, Anon?"

I give her a smile. "No promises."

After that, the bouncers come in and so do the dates. The kids lose some of that bravado and eagerness. It happens when women have more than two legs or eyes.

I put on a smile and waive as the crowd makes their way in. I see an Arachne, a pair of Orcs, a Goblin, and a Bunny Girl to name a few.

My first date is a Mantis. Her name is Beverly. She works as a florist and she has three dogs. All of them are Beagles and named Tina, Bean, and Mandy.

"Are you against dogs?"

I shake my head, "No. I have one myself. He's fifteen."

She nods. "Mine are much younger. Lively."

I take a breath. "What does that mean?"

Beverly blinks. "They're much younger. You can meet them and become their new father."

I know Mantis' are a forward people. Still, lines were crossed.

The buzzard rang and Beverly was hopeful that I would chose her.

I wasn't.

Next, I spoke to an Arachne. Her name was Felicity and she spent the five minutes talking about my clothes and how she could make me something new to complement my looks.

When the buzzard rang, she paused to stare at me when she realized I didn't get a single word in.

After that, I spoke to one of the Orcs. Her name was Agnes. She was an elementary school teacher and taught first grade English. She likes pottery, Harry Potter, and Tequilla. We spent a few minutes talking about Roald Dahl BFG before our time was up. She was nice.

Then there was an Anubis. She was talking about her timeshare in Mexico and how I'd look servicing her by the pool. She said she had the perfect outfit for me. I bit my tongue and didn't say a word. She left a business card on the table and walked away smirking. I tore it in half when she turned around. I don't think anyone ever told her no in her life.

The rest were uneventful. A troll was looking for a husband to bring home to her parents on their Potato farm in Idaho. The Goblin was looking for someone to be her co-op partner in COD and help her remember to turn in her essays and midterms. A genie was looking for a master and wanted to rub his lamp. There were more but mostly a rinse and repeat of what happened.

By the time the event ended, I went to the Demon to check out.

The two college kids left with an Arachne and Bunnyip. The man with glasses wound up choosing Agnes sister, Gertrude, and was being hoisted on her should as she signed them out. The last man was the one I paid the least attention to. He was leaving with Beverly. The man was raving on how he'd happily help her raise the dogs.

The Demon was smiling until I came. She saw I was alone and she stared at me before she sighing. "Tell me, what was wrong with Agnes?"

"Nothing."

She rubbed her temples. "Then why didn't you pick her. I get why you didn't like Fatima." My guess was she was referring to the Anubis. "But why didn't you pick Agnes? You guys were talking nonstop."

I rolled my shoulders, "I'm not looking for love."

The demon hissed and formed a portal. She put her hand in there and pulled out a check. She filled it out before handing it to me.

"You're such a fucking incel."

I put the check in my wallet and walked out the door. There was no reason to talk back. It would be pointless. None of them would understand why.

I took an Uber to the Steakhouse and sat down for the game. Sitting alone at the bar, I ate my steak dinner in silence and washed it down with three Scotch Ales. I did my best to ignore the happy couples and first dates all around me. Some people deserve to have a happily ever after. I ordered a steak for my dog to go.

I stepped outside to get my Uber and rushed to it. The rain finally came while I was eating dinner.

"John," my driver asked. I found it easier to use the English version of my name for most things. This time my Uber was a Bunny Girl. She had a tanned complexion and had a Giants cap on with her ears sticking out from holes between.

I shook the rain out of my hair and buckled up. "That's me." I set the food on the floor and looked back.

She smiled at me and turned around. "Let's go."

This is part one of a short series I plan to write. It's focus on a male character in MGE world that isn't interested in relationships. Not a stereotypical scared guy but a man who just isn't interested in romance for his own personal reasons. They're to be revealed later.

I plan to come back and work on Protector's Wish and other projects.

This includes a Danny Phantom and Mist crossover, a Kotor Crossover with Justice League taking place where Revan lands on Earth where Aresia was successful on her mission during Fury.