Fandom: Victorious
Title: Point of View
Chapter One: Driver's License
Point of View: Cat Valentine
December 24, 2022, Three Pm
A/N: I don't own any of the characters from Victorious or SVU; if I did, Cade and Rolivia would be canon. Point of View will be a crossover fic between Victorious and SVU; however, most of it will focus on Cat and Jade. Points of view will change towards the end of this fic, so please pay attention to the top of each chapter to see which character is telling the story. Trigger warnings for rape, self-harming discussions, abortion, HIV/ AIDS, and Cancer.
"Thank God, we found her. We must be at LACH by six. How did you know she would be here, Cat?"
"Easy, Danny. It's all Jade has ever talked about since we turned fifteen last year, and all our friends started talking about getting their driver's licenses. Jade always said as soon as she turned sixteen and passed her test, she would drive to Beck's parents' house. Pick him up and take him to a fancy restaurant. In Jade's mind, it makes her cogent because Beck's parents keep telling him he can find a normal girl, one with the potential to become a woman with influential prominence. They've always disapproved of Jade; one look at her, and they write her off as psychologically damaged. She's heard them call her a loser, a selfish, sarcastic sadistic with no real future except jail or an early grave."
"Why does Jade care what his parents think about her?"
Twenty-Four-Year-old Daniel Valentino Valentine flips the hood of his dark green hoodie off his head, parking his Bentley Flying Spur in the far darkened corners of the street and turning off his headlights so my best friend Jade West doesn't catch on to the fact that we've been following her since she left the DMV an hour ago. I always look around and hope the paparazzi haven't followed us. These bastards are slick and find the deepest hiding places to camouflage themselves. I am always curious if we are safe. My breath is always stuck somewhere between exhaling and being afraid to inhale.
"She cares, my dear Danny boy, because she's in love with Beck, and when you are in love with someone, you want them to respect you. No woman wants a man who disrespects his parents, the people who gave him life, raised him provided for him. If a boy disrespects his parents, why would he be respectful down the line towards her, especially if he blames her for any strain between him and his parents? You earn the respect of his parents, you earn his respect, and there's a balance established between his two words."
Danny's fiancée Raelyn Taylor comments back to him, flipping her spiral blond hair over her well-defined shoulders. The coils bounce off her back as she leans forward, wrapping her arms across his massive biceps and resting her cupped hands over his chest. Danny grins, turning to face Raelyn. "Damn, I hate when you are correct."
"Well, better get used to that feeling, Danny, because I am always right. Right Cat?" "Aw, man, don't bring me into this. It's a losing situation for me no matter who I side with, one is my family, and one is my teacher. Soon to become my family."
"Fair point, Cat."
"No, Rae, don't give her an excuse. She needs to toughen up., Learn to pick sides, Cat; you can't live life in the passing lane. Innocence isn't always a virtue."
"What does that even mean, Daniel?"
"What it means, Cat, is some can take innocence as having little experience, being naive, and gullible."
"I'm not gullible or naive. I like to think having innocence is purity. It's finding myself within and finding my spiritual path...being who I am without the judgment of others holding me down. I am writing my life story, so why would I let someone else hold the pen?"
"That's right, girl, you tell him." Rae high-fives me from the passenger seat, winking at Danny, who groans, knowing he's lost the argument. "If I may, I am going to add a little something to this conversation." Seventeen-year-old Sutton Nicholas Valentine takes off his pear pod earbuds from his ears. "Some regard innocence as a person of holy virtue. I regard innocence and honesty as primary virtue because other virtue comes out of ego mind, conformity and may lack authenticity without innocence."
"Other virtues may take you to one person is good; others are bad mentality. People confuse these two qualities. Innocence is the pure mind with the absence of evil qualities and tendencies. Innocence is not ignorance. They are opposing qualities. You can successfully live an innocent life only with awareness and by coming out of ignorance. An innocent person should be aware of evil but not submit to it. Cat sees life through the eyes of a child because she is a child, but it doesn't mean she is stupid or naive. Children can be very observant but must learn how to express their observances. Don't mistake their silence as wilting roses in the moonlighting; they are just waiting for the right moment to bloom."
"Wow, that was deep, bro.'"
"Yeah, seriously, what the hell Sutton?"
"Einstein was known for his quantum theory of light call me a modern Albert Einstein."
"Shit, forget Einstein. I know I am living in California, but if this loser is about to do what I think he's going to do behind Jade's back, then you all better start calling me John Joseph Gotti Jr because I am about to go mobster on his ass."
Sutton slams his closed right fist into the open palm of his left hand as I turn to see his line of vision. Beck is shirtless, coming out of his parent's garage as a car pulls up the driveway. "Why does that car seem so damn familiar?" Danny mutters, squinting to see who comes out of the driver's side. "Who is driving the damn thing?
Getting out of the car, we quietly head closer to see if we can get a better view and get to Jade. Shit, it's so dark I can't make out anything." all I can make out is blond hair bouncing over the back of the girl who has gotten out of the car. "Whoever she is, she has impeccable taste," Rae mutters. "She has money because I could never afford the outfit she is wearing on the teacher's salary I make or from the royalties of any of my songs." The girl is sporting a complete Coco Chanel outfit white jeans which hug her lower frame and a white denim jacket with the two CC on the back in blue. "It must cost at least $3,653.10. No joke."
I watch this girl stroll up the driveway to greet Beck, who opens his arms, grinning. Is this girl behind the cryptic text messages Jade was receiving all day which replay inside my memory?
He's Lying to you, Jade.
Don't be a fool. Quit while your heart is whole.
Your heartbeat isn't his melody.
Walk away, or you'll regret it.
"Shit." "Aw, hell no!" Sutton and Danny both curse under their breaths as Beck picks the girl up, spinning her around; a squeal pierces the night air. We know that squeal, and we know who the girl is before her face is turned our way. Tears roll down my cheeks which I brush away quickly. "Beck baby! I've been waiting all day to see you! Ugh, it's so annoying to play cool while we're at school. Jade is always watching. She's so possessive." "I know, sweetheart, and I am sorry I promise I will break up with her after the holidays, but it's Christmas, and today's her birthday. What kind of man would that make me if I broke up with a girl on her birthday right before Christmas?"
Picking her up, he wraps her legs around his waist, bending her against her car and pressing his lips to hers. "Merry Christmas, baby. I've missed you." the girl slides her French-manicured nails across his cheeks. "It is now, Beck. You better break up with this bitch, or you won't get any of this until you do." Tracing her nails down his cheek, she trails them down her chest, which she puffs out, slipping off the jacket to reveal her red lacy bra; her nails continue to trace down her bare stomach as he sits her on the hood of her car. The street is a dead-end, with not a figure in sight.
I approach Jade from behind, knowing she's lost in an ocean of emotions and her guard will be off, which is dangerous to my life; a life I value and want to keep living. Jade's shoulders tremble her arms are crossed over her chest. It kills me to see her heart breaking even if I can't see the emotions playing across the shadows of her face under these sun rays. I can feel them through every shake of her body, every wobbling knee moment. Her voice is softly spoken as she talks to herself. "You said forever, Beck." "How could you lie to me?"
She never turns to see me there and doesn't acknowledge that I am now standing by her side. My black hoodie covers my 5'1 frame making me shrink on the corner of Coldwater Canyon Ave and Wixom Street. "I know we weren't perfect. What couple is perfect? What did I do to deserve this, though? How could you leave me standing here at the red light after all these years, all these promises? Why does she get to pass and go on the green? What does she have that I don't?" I know Jade doesn't want an actual answer which is good because I don't know how to answer her. All I can do is watch as Beck kisses the girl and runs his hands up her thighs, caressing her breasts, until she squeals, begging him to show her how much he misses her and loves her. He grins the same sexy grin which got Jade to fall for him two years ago. I watch in confusion as he unzips his pants and pushes her back harder on the roof of her car; she giggles, spreading her legs as he presses himself inside her.
What are they doing? I have no clue what is happening, but I can tell everyone knows Daniel has started cursing, turning away as Raelyn shakes her head, muttering some awful names, but it's Jade who breaks my heart, turning to the street to vomit. Finally, I snap out of my confusion, grabbing her hair as she coughs, gags, and heaves. "Is it because she's older? Is she prettier?" Jade wretched in the drain vent. The aftertaste of bile covered her tongue. It's making her gag again, trying to eliminate the nastiness. My stomach spasms sympathetically at the sight of my best friend tossing her lunch. "Did she promise him some big role?" "Are my legs too fat? Am I too fat? "Does she look better in a bikini? Dance better than I do. Her breasts are smaller than mine; he always told me he loved my big breasts. Was it so that he could get laid? What if I diet? I can get rid of these fat cheeks. Is it my short hair, Cat? I know Beck said he hated me changing my style. Do I look that horrible now?" She sniffles, looking up after she's done vomiting. Is she excepting me to answer?
"I'm sorry for being a drama queen. I'm trying not to be so insecure, possessive, impulsive, sarcastic, or so damn jealous. How can I be secure when he cheats on me every chance he gets?" "I don't get it, Cat; he kissed me as if he meant it. I gave him my heart, soul, and body, every damn thing. How could he betray me with her?"
She kicks the street sign her steel-toed combat boots leave a dent in the metal. Danny flinches, directly backing away from where he stands by the now-shaking sign. Quietly her heartbreak pours down in waves of grief, consuming her entire body, which shakes. Her chest seizes tightly. All I hear are ragged breaths which lead to a coughing spell. Reaching over, I touch her shoulder. When she doesn't pull away, I step closer and embrace her in a tight hug. "How long has this been going on behind my back? I feel like a freaking fool."
Turning our bodies so her back is facing them, I try to protect her from seeing the sight of them, but I can now see everything; the company frightens me. I've never seen a boy naked. Where is his vagina? What is that thing between his legs? I am so confused. Why does he have something so different than what I have, and why is it moving in and out of her vagina? Why is she moaning? Shock has ingurgitated my entire being. How am I so damn clueless as to what is going on? How do I know so little about the human anatomy?
The realization leaves me dizzy and nauseous, forcing me to sit down on the sidewalk, pulling Jade down with me. Glad she can't see what these two are doing. It's gross. I wrap my hands around her head, pulling her to my lips and gently kissing her head as I stroke my fingers through her hair, trying to soothe her. I'm helpless to take away her pain, converted into a rainfall of tears running at lightning speed down her cheeks. Her bottom lip quivers, pressed against my throat her shoulders drop in resignation.
"Jade, I am so sorry." Daniel's voice is soft as he comes up behind us, laying his hand between her shoulders. "Loving can be brutal. I was there when I was fifteen. The summer, I was visiting my grandparents in Ireland. I still remember how soft Sheeran's lips felt when they melted over mine like butter. Grafton Street in Dublin on Christmas Eve. She was the first girl I ever kissed; I fell in love with her as a fool and gave her my heart, trust, body, and soul. I trusted her with my aspirations and deepest fears. I was gutted when she left me twelve months later with our baby boy. Since her betrayal was gut-wrenching, I haven't heard from her; the idea that she could leave her baby behind was mind-boggling. Why wouldn't she want to raise him together? What was so wrong with me? Did I not love her hard, or was I not rich enough for her?"
"Jade. I drove myself crazy searching for the answers. The hurt drove me deep into the bottle, but my grandma wouldn't have that nonsense, so she sent me back here to live with my parents with my son. My parents wouldn't let me wallow in self-pity. They made me get a job while going to school full-time and caring for my baby. It nearly killed me trying to juggle it all. I couldn't understand how I messed up so badly and why I was paying for a mistake that took two people to create. Seeing how messed up I was, Father McCarthy took me under his wing; he taught me to look within and find the positive instead of looking at the negative. I lost a girl I was crazy over, but I gained a son. Someone who would look at me like I am his world. Sheeran leaving me helped me see I am a survivor."
"What does this have to do with my boyfriend cheating on me with our cousin, Daniel?"
"It has to do with looking around and seeing how many people showed up tonight when you took off after getting your driver's license; a happy time for any new sixteen-year-old, but a damn miracle for the baby girl who wasn't expected to survive her birthday. Beck couldn't be bothered to show up today, nor could Remi, but we were there for you. We are cheering for you, praying for you believing in you. Celebrating with you, except you took off, leaving us worried and scared. These two idiots might not care for you, Jade, but we do. We love you, and we hurt for you. It's time to let go of the people who are bringing you down. As scary and heartbreaking as that possibility is, Jade, everything has got to change at some point in our life."
"You aren't alone, honey," I whisper into her ear, bringing her closer to my body and caressing her arms. "You can learn to forgive even if you can't forget. I think it's time for some real moving on. It could be a blessing; I think you've stayed with Beck too long, and your relationship was never healthy for either of you. It's a dark road, the unknown everything will look different for a while, but we will get off this ground together, Jade."
"Hand in hand, we are not hanging around to see or hear any more of this transgressing. I know they always say tomorrow is a brand-new day—another chance to correct some wrong things. Well, today is a wrong, maybe not a wrong you committed, but tomorrow hell, even tonight, is a chance for you to start anew. Find the people who have your back to find a reason to smile, laugh, and forgive. I want you to smile, Jade; it's our birthday, and I want you to let go of Beck. You need to decide; I'm not hanging around from this moment, only forward bound; the only way I'm going to be alright is to put him in your rear-view mirror."
"Cat, it's not that easy. Some scars don't heal that easily. Sometimes my heart rebels, no matter what my mind decides. Sometimes my thoughts still dwell. Some memories hurt like hell, and some betrayals are too powerful to forgive and forget."
"Jade. It's going to hurt like bloody hell, but you must experience the pain to grow." Danny's Irish accent is more robust when he talks through his emotions. I can see it's hurting him to recall his journey.
"That's a load of rubbish. Why do people always resort to cliques? Beck kissed me on my 14th birthday two years ago today. We were at the movies. I can't remember what we were seeing, but I remember how he looked at me like I was the most beautiful girl in the world. Someday, babe, these screens will be flashing our faces. He made me believe in myself when so many people told me I never had a chance at being an actress."
"Beck knew I hated protecting, yet he always held my hand when we crossed the streets. I loved to race across the streets when the lights were green; it gave me a powerful feeling to defeat death when those cars were aimed right at me. He told me I was crazy but called me his red-light babe because I was unstoppable. I can't imagine how I could be so okay now that he replaced me; he's been a huge part of my teenage years."
Touching the necklace he gave her, I see her fingers tightening. My reaction is visceral when she rips it off her neck. "He gave this to me last Christmas and told me to keep it close. He said it was memories captured in time. Frozen, he told me to wear it next to my heartbeat so he would always be nearby. Liar, he was never thinking about me. He loved me, ha, it's a rumor. True love doesn't exist. It's just another lie I was foolish to believe was true. He isn't shedding any tears over me. Why should I waste any more time crying over this bastard?"
"You shouldn't, Jade. Tomorrow is Christmas. Today it's your birthday. You defied the medical odds and made it out when doctors told us to prepare to say goodbye. Don't let these two turn your victory into a tragedy. They do not get to rewrite your story, right, Cat? Tell Jade what you said earlier." I glare at my brother for putting me on the spot, but sigh; I repeat to her what I told them a few minutes ago.
"I'm not gullible or naive. Having innocence is purity it's finding myself within and finding my spiritual path...being who I am without the judgment of others holding me down. I am writing my life story, so why would I let someone else hold the pen?"
"I'm not innocent, Cat?"
"Yes, you are maybe not among the same people who would say I am Jade, but you believed in Beck's promises. You believed in the power of love. It takes an innocent heart to believe and trust. It's not a bad thing. It's beautiful, but it makes you vulnerable, and when we allow ourselves to be vulnerable, we open ourselves up for hurt. When we are hurt, we want to lash out or retreat. Instead of doing either of those things tonight. I want you to look inside and find something else to latch onto."
"What's that, Cat?"
"Hope."
"Hope seems like a damn joke to me right now."
"If you can only see the path in front of your feet, it seems hopeless. You must close your eyes and take the step of faith to know that Jesus is walking beside you—faith in your self-confidence and resilience. Hope, and hurt builds character hope teaches us the discipline of faith. Be consistent in your prayer Jade for Jesus watches over all of us, even those who sin. No mind has imagined the things God has prepared for me- for those who love God will never be forsaken. Hope is eternal."
"Hope encourages us to live in boldness. Christians celebrate Christmas as Jesus's birthday because December 25 was the winter-solstice celebration in honor of the beginning of the new solar cycle. The winter solstice was the most important date in the pagan circle of the year. Around Samhain, the year dies. You can see it. Birds are gone to the south, flowers and insects have died, leaves have fallen, and the first frost or snow covers the land in the deathly white of old age. All abundance of summer is lost. Then, at the winter solstice, rebirth happens. A new year is born between December 21 and December 25. Again, you can see it happen if you watch your garden closely. Suddenly, there is a slight change in all those buds. Early spring flowers like snowdrops might break through the surface in warmer regions. We live in a region where white Christmas is non-existence due to weather; we never get to see the cycle of life out here, Jade."
"Yet we know it exists. We see the bees cleaning their hives and birds singing. Life is reborn and will go through another cycle of youth/spring, fertile years/summer, ripe old age/autumn, and death/winter. Even if we never see the cold weather or the death of leaves. We've seen loved ones die. We know they cannot be reborn into this world as we once knew them, yet we do not know for certain they weren't reborn into another time or place. It may give you a false illusion that once someone or something dies, it can never be reborn simply because we cannot see them with our eyes. This is when we need to turn to hope, prayer, and faith."
"Christianity has nothing to offer that is as holy and VISIBLE as this natural spirituality. People continue to celebrate the circle of the year: I give presents to my loved ones at Christmas because I want to strengthen their vitality. I pray for those that have reached their life's winter: Please stay a little longer; please do not go. The small presents I will lay down at their graves are the last Christmas presents I can give: Every year, life is reborn. May a spark of you survive and be reborn, too. Just because this path in front of you seems crumbling and cracking doesn't mean you are falling. Have hope, Jade, and have faith in yourself and your friends who love you to help you. Have a little trust in Jesus."
Jade clings to me, allowing me to cradle her wrapping one arm under her armpits; I help her to stand slowly. Daniel tosses Sutton the keys to his Bentley. "Drive it home; I'll drive Jade's car. Home only, Sutton. Do not crash or scratch it; I swear you will be dead on Christmas morning. Got it?" Daniel's words are stern, meaning business. "Got it, Bro' So cool. I get to drive a Bentley!"
"You need food, Jade."
"I can't eat. My stomach is killing me."
"It wasn't an option. You need your nighttime medication dosage, and I know you need to eat with those pills. So where are we going to eat?"
"The cat & fiddle Pub and restaurant? Seems fitting since it was Cat who knew where to find her." Rae suggests. "If she hadn't loved her enough to follow her, we wouldn't have found her."
Jade squeezes me tightly; her hug is warm and comforting. "Thank you, Cat." I swallow the lump inside my throat "always Jade, it's what best friends are for, specifically birthday twins."
"Sutton. I see the look in your eyes. Do not take judgment into your own hands, lad. Beck and our cousin will receive their punishment when they face our Lord."
"Yeah, sure they will, Danny boy. Maybe judgment day will come earlier than Jesus excepted."
"Sutton," Daniel growls. I watch Sutton hold up his hands in defeat nodding at Daniel, "fine car-drive-home." Sutton turns angrily, glaring at Beck and our cousin, seventeen-year-old Remington Rain West. There's a fire burning deep inside his eyes, which worries me. Is he off his bipolar medication? Would he do something to make Beck and Remi pay?
"Jade!" A scream startles us. Suddenly a camera flashes in our faces. "How does it feel to have your boyfriend cheat on you with your cousin? Give us a statement!" Three grown-ass men with cameras leap out of the bushes. "Get the girls into the car now," Rae yells. Shoving us toward the car, Daniel wraps his arms around our heads, burying our faces into his chest. We pull our hoodies up, but it doesn't do shit to protect our eyes from the bright flashes. I can see one of the camerapeople racing to the driveway to ambush Beck and Remi. For a split second, I almost feel sorry for them until I see the look on Jade's face—the other two race after us flashing their damn cameras and screaming out the most horrifying personal questions.
"How long has this been going on?"
"How did you not see this happening?"
"Weren't their signs?"
"How does it feel to be played for a fool?"
"Why aren't you giving us a statement?"
"Don't be a bitch, Jade!"
"Cat, you're always open with us. How does Jade feel?"
"What did she do to cause Beck to cheat?"
"Jade, how are you feeling? Not only did he cheat on you at Christmas, but on your birthday and the anniversary of your mother's death. Just give us a statement, and we'll leave you alone!"
"Cat, are you worried Jade will use drugs like her mom?"
"How is her relationship with her father? Why didn't he take you and Ryan if he was spotted leaving the country with his new wife and their son?"
Daniel is sheering mad I can feel it in the way his biceps curls tighter around my shoulders. He knows better than to engage, however. There's a cost to fame that is largely invisible to most people. Many of the teens I go to school with want to be famous. They see fame as freedom from parents, poverty, and insecurity. None of them know the actual price of fame.
"Jade, would your mother be proud of you right now? If she was alive to see how fall you have fallen? Caitlin Ryan is still one of the most notoriously beautiful women ever to grace the red carpets of Hollywood. She never once had trouble holding onto a man. She must have taught you a trick or two. So, would she be disappointed or ashamed of you?"
"Are they breast enhancements? You must have had some form of plastic surgery. What did you do to grow from a B cup to a D cup suddenly? Tell us your secret!"
"Cat, has she told you? Why aren't you rushing out to get enhancements?"
Daniel slams the door and jumps into the car, throwing a blanket at us so we can cover up in the backseat. I can't stop shaking. How can they ask such invasive questions? It seems so appealing; for some, fame can be a fantastic tool. I suppose, but for many of us who aren't prepared for it, fame is a restricting force, limiting our freedom and mobility and forcing us to move with constant critique and constantly judged by others who feel as though they have the right because the famous are seen as privileged. There's a reason that substance abuse runs rampant among celebrities. There's a reason, so many celebrities crack under pressure.
Like Jade's mother.
Fame is the opposite of freedom. We're teenagers, and we are just begging to experience life, but we don't have the same space to live the way our peers make every move we make. Everything which happens in our lives is made public, sometimes instantly, like tonight.
How are we supposed to process our feelings when we are never given a chance to feel them before the demand to make a statement is issued?
Fame is suffocating. Yet somehow, we all still crave it. Why? When I look over at Jade and see the blank stare gazing back at me, I can't help but wonder why either of us who grew up in the spotlight is still so actively trying to become actors. We've seen the price of fame. We live it every day through no choice of our own.