Fandom: Victorious

Title: Point of View

Chapter Eight:

Point of View: Cat Valentine

Dec 24th 2022

"Thank You for meeting us, Dr. McMullen; I understand it's last minute."

"No need to thank me, Cat. Meeting patients is my job, no matter the hour. I'm sorry you aren't feeling well, Jade. It sucks any time of the year, but it's truly awful at Christmas."

"Yeah, it hasn't been fun." The nebulizer in her mouth softens Jade's words. "Well, we know you have pneumonia now, so hopefully, with the antibiotics, you should start to feel better in a few days. We're waiting on the bloodwork, which I put a rush on, so in a few hours, you should hear something."

"Catarina?" My mom's voice startles me as she slips inside the trauma bay Jade is currently sitting inside. "Hey, Mom. Thanks for coming over. You didn't have to. I know you are busy upstairs on the unit getting ready for the filming."

"Cat, there's no place I would rather be than with Jade when she is sick. How long has this been going on, Jade, and why didn't you say something to me?" Where was this concern for me yesterday when my dad attacked me verbally? Where has this woman been my entire life? Why show respect now? I glance over my shoulder and feel my anger boil; of course, she's fucking filming.

The only reason she suddenly cares. Ratings.

"A couple of weeks, Aunt Aislin. I thought it was cold. We've been so busy with recording and school. I pushed it aside, hoping it would go away with over-the-counter medication."

"Jade, you know you can not take chances with your immune system. You should have come to me right away or your father." Jade lets out a sharp laugh. "My father could care less."

"Well, I am not your father, and I do care even if I was on the road—I'm one phone call to me. I would have contacted Dr. MacMullan and gotten you an appointment. You know I am godmother, and I am listed on your chart as one of the grownups with legal rights to make decisions for you."

"I didn't want to bother you; as I said, I thought it was something simple like a cold."

"Except it isn't Jasmine Devyn West now, is it?" "No, Ma'am. It isn't. I'm sorry, you're right. I should have taken it more seriously."

"Yes, you should have, but that's history now. Dr. MacMullan, what are we looking at? Have you gotten any results?"

"As I told Jade before you came in, her chest x-rays show acute pneumonia; we're testing her sputum culture to figure out what type of pneumonia she is fighting. We're also waiting for her bloodwork to see her levels; until then, we can give her breathing treatments and antibiotics to fight the infection.

"

"Is she cleared to go upstairs? We need to get the interview with the children who are nominated done before tonight's show goes live." "Her nebulizer results are promising, and her vitals are stable. So, it's okay; if she wears a mask and stays close to you and the family. I don't see why not."

"She'll be by my side the entire time, Dr. MacMullan you have my word." Rating hog, I silently seethe to myself. She was using Jade to get the sympathy vote. Pathetic. Staying silent, I follow my mom and Jade out of the room. We know this hospital like the back of our hands; we've spent our entire lives coming here for Jade's treatments and hospital stays.

When we are in the elevator, away from the camera, my mom relaxes her grip on Jade's arm, allowing Jade to lean against the yellow wall of the elevator. "We have quite the mess of damage control, Jade. Little Remi did a number this time; the producers want to interview you about what she and Beck did tonight. She's already working the angle of heartbreak and loneliness, the lying and cheating, which were all on Beck's part. She claims he told her he already broke it off with you earlier in the day. She's innocent about the pain she caused you. Always the little bundle a serve pain in my ass, the conveying little slut, every bit the bitch her mother is, ugh!"

"Why was she so heartbroken and lonely?"

"Remi claims her boyfriend broke up with her last week because she's too busy to spend time with him, so she was lonely and called Beck over to work on their health class project. Remi claims Beck hugged her to comfort her, and he kissed her and told her he was single, so she let things get carried away. Beck, of course, didn't bother to show up. Jade, she has them eating out of her hands up there. When you get up there, I need you to be in control and not give in to her taunting. You are the one everyone will be watching."

"Is Aunt Edele already here as well, mom?" "Of course she is Cat. Playing my daughter is being made into a monster angle because the press and the fans made her the villain."

"God, tonight will suck ass." "I couldn't agree more, Catarina, but we are ladies of stature. We will hold our heads high, smile into their eyes, and never give them the satisfaction of knowing they hurt us. Jade, you tell your truth, but do it with class and dignity. Whatever the press twists your words into, so be it; you will not cover for her. Yes, Beck betrayed you, and it hurts, but he is only a boy who does not control your heart. You do, Jade, and he will not break you. Remi has never been loyal to you, so don't waste tears on either of them. Understand?"

"Yes, ma'am." Jade coughs heavily into her elbow. My mom rubs her back, looking sadly at her. "Don't hide it when you are sick from us; we can help you. Jade, you are not an army of one. We are your family, your soldiers."

"Thank You. It looks like we are here."

The elevator dings we brace ourselves as the doors slide open. Taking Jade's hand into mine, we step out onto the children's oncology unit. We're doing interviews with the kids being treated at this location for a special event airing tonight in honor of Caitlin; today marked the anniversary of her death five years ago and the 35th anniversary of our mom's group's first single Inish-Breeze, so BHD is doing a special edition of the show and using footage from tonight's performance all the members are going to be here except Jade's mom, so I know she has mixed emotions about tonight. The event takes place tonight at nine at her mother's estate.

This year is one of those years. I pray there will be no drama.

Jade and I are performing with our friends Tori, Andre, Triana, and Robbie. Her cousin Amanda came from New York with her fourteen-year-old twin boys Chase Jagger Reagan and Aaron Jameson Reagan.

Stepping off the elevator, my mom's assistant, Sarah, greets us. "Glad you are here; the producers want an interview with Cat and Jade regarding tonight's anniversary. Of course, they are itching to talk to Jade about the scandal. They want you to do the interviews with the children first, though, Jade."

"Sure, why not." Sarah leads us to the first assistant director, who hooks us up to the microphones. When we are done getting wired up and having our makeup touched up. Jade flashes me a smile, takes a deep breath, and dives into the thick of the crowd.

"We're ready for you, Cat." Katelyn, the producer of BHD, signals for me to head over to where she is set up with her camera crew. I take a deep breath and see my mom nod as I head over to the seat. "Merry Christmas, Cat; let's take a deep breath; today has been crazy, huh?" We both let out a shaky laugh; if she only knew how crazy today was, she would shit herself if she knew I kissed Jade and loved it.

"Yeah, it's been something alright."

"Cat, let's start with some hard-hitting questions right off the bat. Tonight is the thirty-third anniversary of Inishmore's first single, so how does it feel to be the daughter of Hollywood Royalty?"

I pause at the question. It always takes work to answer these types of questions. "I mean, your mom is a pop icon, a supermodel, an academy award-winning actress, and an Emmy award-winning artist. She's done it all, producing, directing, creating, performing, and creating her own company from the ground up; now, she's paving the way for future generations. So how does that shape your life personally and professionally?"

Biting my lower lip and sighing, I stroke my right arm as my nails dig into my left arm. "Difficult," I whisper, debating on how much I should reveal because once these words leave my lips and air on TV, they will take on a life of their own; it will create feelings of jealousy and anger traits which run in my family throughout every generation, the press will amplify them, weaponized them.

The press had been vile to me through the years; I know I should be used to it since I was born into it. Sometimes I even asked for it and brought it on myself. People just rolled their eyes whenever I complained about it, privately or publicly. They said I was whining, said I only pretended to want privacy. I've been called spoiled and ungrateful. So, I hesitate to answer further. My mom always warns me about airing dirty laundry.

You give the press an inch. They take a million miles. But as I sit here and play war of words with my mind. I remember what a fan said a few days ago when I was getting coffee. "You inspire me, Cat because you are always so honest. Sometimes I find it hard to be myself because I am afraid of being judged, and then I watch you on BHD, and I am reminded how beautiful honesty is, so thank you." Jade's words from earlier also come back to my mind. "You are stronger than you give yourself credit for after what you told me yesterday. I wanted you to have something to remember when you had another day like yesterday. There's a greater truth than what you allow yourself to believe. You are more powerful than you know."

Katie was waiting for me to answer, so I took a deep breath and chose the truth no matter the consequences. "Difficult because, as a little girl, all I wanted was my mom. Someone to advise me when I failed a test or didn't make the team. When my father was overseas, and I was scared he wouldn't come home, I wanted my mother's arms to reassure me it was a nightmare, not reality. Instead, I got nannies. Every little girl wishes for their mom when they are sick or hurt. My mom was never around because she was off touring, inspiring other people's little girls. I wished for my mother when I went through my painful menstrual cycles, but she was always too busy working."

"Even when she is home, she isn't home mentally; her mind is always on the next project. She's in her studio creating or filming this show, fixing scandals, or hosting charity. Fans flock around her when we go out, and I again become invisible."

"Gowning up wealthy, there's a lot of pressure. It takes work to live up to those standards. Some days it feels hopeless and makes me unmotivated. My parents fight a lot. I'm constantly scared for their marriage. I've had anxiety and depression for years."

"My parents never notice they are too busy fighting and working. Please don't get me wrong; fame comes with perks, private jets, and no worries for your financial future. Going to amazing places and getting into concerts for free, meeting other famous people attending elite parties, but it's like living in a fishbowl."

"The world's always watching, judging, snapping pictures in private situations. Making up rumors staring at you, there's no privacy or sense of security. I feel pressure to be skinny like my mom: taller, more beautiful, and bigger chest size. I don't know who wants to be my friend for me or my last name. I'm guarded. I'm a normal teen in so many ways. I go to public school. I hang out with my friends, but I live an extraordinary life. There's a price to pay for everything. I never asked for fame, I was born into this lifestyle, and I had to choose to let it control me or use it to advance my life. I chose the latter. The latter comes with a price. One no one else understands except my mom and Jade, and Jade is going through the same things I am, and it's hard to ask her for advice when I know she feels as lost as I am some days. I need my mom on days like this, but she's never here mentally."

"Can you think of anything positive you inherited, Cat?"

Cameras are all around me, shining bright lights into my eyes; there is a lot of noise in the background, making it hard to think. How do I compress sixteen years of life into a few-second clip?

"Sure, I can, but do people want to hear the positive things? People feed on drama, I can list a thousand positive, beautiful words to describe my mom, but you know the clips which will be made into reels on social media and aired on tabloid shows me talking negatively about my mom, me telling my truth which they will twist into some spoiled rich girl temper tantrum. But sure, you want the positive things so that you can say you asked and toss them on the editing floor. Here we go."

"My mom built her career from the ground up; she's become one of the most successful women in pop culture from the time she was ten years old; she has been attending dance rehearsals, writing sessions, executive meetings, promoting and touring, creating music and embodying characters which she brought to life on screen and working runways all over the world."

"She paved the way for immigrant children to have music careers in an industry that laughed at the Irish until then. Award shows shunned Irish artists for decades until Inishmore broke through the scene. In terms of record sales, she's regarded as the best seller female solo artist of all time. The Guinness World Records hails her as the 20th-century top female in the top number-one singles."

"Aislin Moore is a polarizing social and cultural artist. She's led the way on social issues and protests. She doesn't take shit from anyone. She's bold, knows her dislikes and likes, she's been labeled and judged and learned not to give two fucks; my mom is a badass, a rebel with a cause; her contributions to the industry are untouchable. I'm very proud to be her daughter, and I get my work ethic and toughness from her. I like to think I get her creativity, ambition, and brains from her; I know the music industry inside and out, and I believe it's because I spent all my time with her in studios, on tour buses, behind the scenes of concerts, and on sets. She taught me a woman needs to be able to produce, write, and arrange. She needs to be a leader, a woman who knows her mind and isn't afraid to take charge or know her self-worth. Even if it means being labeled and judged, I control my work, not producers or managers. I and I alone. No passing the buck because I am the buck. I am proud of my mom one hundred percent as an artist and a woman who inspires, but I wish she cared half as much about being my mom as she does to inspire other little girls."

"Thank You for your honesty, Cat. I can tell I hit a nerve with some of these questions."

"I'm human, not a robot; you ask invasive questions. Yes, they hit a nerve doesn't take a rocket scientist to figure that bullshit out."

Katie smiled tightly at me. Good, I made her uncomfortable maybe she'll think twice about her stupid questions. "This year marks 33 years since Inishmore started and five years since Caitlin has been gone; how has her death affected the group, your mom's choices in life, and how do you think it's had an impact on Jade as her best friend you know her best. How did it affect you?"

Fuck.

Another bullshit, invasive insensitive question which I am expected to sit here and answer like a good little girl. How do I answer this question without Jade killing me? Damn, I need a drink.

"Caitlin's death was a tragedy. I never thought we would see Caitlin die so young. It was surreal. It was just like something was missing; it's humbling because it made me think, wow, if she can die so young, this woman who is larger than life in the industry and our lives, then what chance do I have? She was so pleasant and wonderful."

"She was a delight to be around, always singing and dancing. She loved the old Irish songs; I remember having a sleepover the weekend before she died. She was so full of life working on the next album that she made us stand at the piano while she worked on cords. We sang with her, laughed, and made cookies later that night. She took my mind off the fact my dad had deployed a few days before, and I hadn't heard from him; she made me feel loved and special, and then three days later, she was gone. It's amazing. I can't wrap my mind around it."

"Caitlin was an icon. A symphony still being written. Forty-two years old seems like a decent life, but it's too short. Some days I think of all the beautiful creations she was working on, which never became a reality. I feel like I can't breathe. It's traumatic to lose someone you love so young. Losing her mom changed Jade. How could it not? Clutching your mother's hand when she's lying there gasping for breath, I can still hear her when she took our hands, her voice barely above a whisper as her body lay hooked to machines."

"Goodbye, my loves, her last whisper, her soul's first step from this world to the next. Her soul was too big to live in a body. Maybe, she was meant to be on the other side of life. Maybe she's still here and saying goodbye when warm rays hit our cheeks in the early summer mornings. I can't answer those questions. I know the changes I've seen in Jade's eyes and demeanor. She's quiet now; she doesn't laugh loudly as she used to. Her eyes no longer hold the delight of a sunset or the wonder of a sunrise. Jade has learned not to trust because trust means vulnerability, and when you are vulnerable to the world. You allow the chance of being hurt."

"Jade has learned to shower in cold water because warmth is for the ones who can feel. Jade has become numb and cold. Numbness keeps her awake after a long night of not sleeping because the night is when her mom left, and she's afraid she won't wake up if she sleeps. She's learned to drink black coffee because she needs the caffeine from no sleep. She's learned to function on tired feet."

"Jade has learned to count the calm winds to listen for the echoes of memories. She's learned to like the dark because sometimes she can still hear her mom's voice singing; her mom always stays up late to work on music. She drinks whiskey instead of milk because milk is for little kids, and she hasn't felt like a kid since her mom died."

"We've learned to speak so calmly when our hearts would like to scream and shout, and we learned to stop and breathe and smile at each other because we are the only ones who know what Caitlin was truly like in the privacy of her home, silly, funny, adventurous, loving and soft. We've learned to look at Ryan and realize we are the only ones to tell him what his mom was truly like because he was so young when she passed. We've learned to hold our life inside and never let it out. We've learned to live and die and then to live every day as if it's our last because we can never know when our time on earth will be over."

"Jade carries a lot of pain and rage inside. We all do. She lives with regrets, abuse, and fear every damn day because the one person who was supposed to protect her and loves her unconditionally is dead. Nothing is the same when you lose someone you love. For my life, I can't think of anything else that breaks the human heart other than loss. Jade battles depression and anxiety; she feels unloved, but she must keep going for Ryan and for the promise she made to her mom in her final moments. She's shut herself down to the world but feels a thousand times worse when she's alone than most people who lose someone."

"My mom? It changed her way of thinking; she became more aggressive and ambitious in her view; time wasn't promised, so she wanted to do it all, fit it all in whatever time she was granted here. Looking back on it now." I lick my lips, feeling my throat swell. "I feel like my Aunt Caitlin's death was the breakdown of my relationship with my mom."

A gasp from my left startled me. I don't have to look to see it's my mom. I don't bother to look, but I can feel the camera zoom to catch her reaction. "After she died, my mom threw herself into keeping her memory alive. She got the group back together, except my aunt Edele."

"They organized a fundraiser for cancer research. Which became an annual event; once the group started performing again, they realized how much they missed each other and performing. My mom never looked back, you know. My mom saw it this way the duality of love and loss is the contrast we hold within our humanity. In this contrast, we shine brighter, live louder, and move more profoundly through the troughs of life's challenges."

"The worlds of love and heartbreak are mingled forever together. Bring loss to your listener. But also bring them forgiveness, reprieve, redemption, and more love. She created albums around all these words. She's touched millions of fans through her music, books, and acting roles. She felt if she could somehow keep Caitlin's memory alive, she could make some sense of her loss."

"She feels lost in some ways, guilty that she couldn't save her. So, she's pulled away from her family because if she failed her best friend, what chance of being a proper mother does she stand? In her mind, I theorize that her kids will fly on their wings or fail to make their own choices. Either way, she's cleared of guilt. It's a fucked-up way to live because what chance do we have without the guidance of a mother?"

"Losing Caitlin is a heartbreak none of us will ever recover from. It makes our heads feel cloudy, our hearts feel heavy, and the world seems lifeless and gray at first; I did anything I could to keep myself from thinking of her, but even then, I remember falling to my knees and howling at the sky because of the way I'd been hurt."

"People exhibit depression in different ways based on their personalities. Some people spend all day in bed. Others drink in their bedroom all day. Some go to bars and try to fuck anything that moves. Some use drugs. Some cut themselves. Some binge eat. I lived my life the way she wanted us to, through music and dance. She became my song of hope. I threw myself into music because when I closed my eyes and listened closely, I could hear her singing to me. She crossed the Irish sea in hopes of living her American Dream. She left behind her family and friends and the life she knew at a tender age, and she accomplished her dreams even though she lost her way for a while. She never stopped hoping, believing, striving, and loving. I can't think of a better way to honor her memory than to follow her example, especially if it gives her daughter the hope to keep dreaming and living."

"Cat, that was beautiful. Thank You so much. Jade will need the strength to recover from today's scandal. Can you tell us how she is doing after seeing her boyfriend having sex with your cousin?"

"Katie, there ain't enough whiskey in Ireland to give me the strength to answer this question without punching you in the face. So, I suggest ending this interview before I get arrested."

"My daughter is correct; tonight, we are here to raise money for cancer research, so why don't we focus on why we are here and meet some of the patients." My mother is suddenly beside me, hand on my shoulder, her way of telling me to chill out.

"Why is everyone so concerned about Jade?" Remi's voice sheiks out behind me. I turn hesitantly, seeing her with her cell phone out, filming herself as she gets into my frame. "She is a liar! Why isn't everyone trying to figure out what secrets Jade is keeping? No lie is justifiable. Lies hurt and cause emotional turmoil. Good relationships can only happen when there's trust, and without trust, there's no need to continue. I challenge everyone on my social media to uncover her lies and secrets. Jade isn't a victim here. I am! It's time to take a stand because I am tired of being labeled the slut, the bitch."

"The truth will set you free, Jade. But not until it is finished with you. So why don't you tell us all the truth for once in your life." "Why don't you ask Beck why he couldn't stand being with you? If it was sex he wanted all along, why didn't he say it instead of wasting your time? I can tell you, Jade; Beck wanted a woman who wasn't all about secrets and lies. That's right, honey, he told me all about your big secret. Now it's my turn to tell the world. Unless you tell the world first. I give you twenty-four hours bitch. Unless, of course, my fans can uncover it first. Start the guessing; drop the comments in the comment section of this post. If someone guesses right, I will DM them, and they will win a role in my next music video for my newest song, which is sure to set the charts on fire. You got till tonight at nine pm. I will go live, and if there's a winner, I will announce it there. If not, get ready, world, cause Remi's World is about to get real. Merry Christmas to me, bitches."