Fandom: Victorious
Title: Point of View
Chapter Twenty-One
Point of View: Amanda Rollins
"Jade, how are you feeling?" She moans, turning her head to face me, her eyes barely open. Her face is colorless. She's facing the door, so she can see everything happening outside. Right now, Demi is on stage with Miley Cyrus and Tori Vega, and Pink is singing Raise Your Glass. "Sounds like a party out there. My mom would have loved it." Her voice is soft. Eyes reflecting memories of all the epic parties Caitlin threw during Jade's childhood. I was lucky enough to attend a lot of them.
"It is, and yes, she would. How is she?" I turn my attention to Lesley Shay, who has her stethoscope against Jade's chest. "Vitals are steady, fever's up 102.1, I'm hearing definite sounds of pleural effusion caused by pneumonia, she's better than earlier the shortness of breath has decreased with high-level flow oxygen, and her rapid breathing has decreased as well, but there's still the bluish skin coloration which worries me."
Shay lifts Jade's fingers, which show a blue tint under her now-removed nail polish on three of her fingers. Plus, Shay lifts the mask for a few seconds so I can see her lips. "I had her do a nebulizer treatment and prednisone inhaler, which seems to have helped for the time being. Jade informed us she was at the hospital earlier. They diagnosed her with pneumonia and did bloodwork. So, I suggest home care until she hears from her doctor. I highly suggest sitting out any ideas you have about performances tonight."
"Fat chance, Shay, It's my mother's celebration. I'll tone it down, though."
"Gabby, can you get Cat, Andre, and Tori for me, please?" "Sure thing, Chika."
Gabby squeezes her arm and kisses Shay's cheek before she gets up and heads over to get Jade's friends.
"Amanda, can you look at something for me?" "Of course, Jade."
She shows me her phone. "I started receiving these creepy text messages a few days ago." I glance at her phone.
He's Lying to you, Jade.
Don't be a fool. Quit while your heart is whole.
Your heartbeat isn't his melody.
Walk away, or you'll regret it.
Jade. I told you he was lying and isn't the only one. There are others. You can't trust anyone in this business.
The backstabbing isn't only in front of the cameras.
The people closest to you are your worst enemy.
You're putting your trust in the wrong people, Jade. Heartache is coming for you.
Someone paid me to kill you; there's an enemy out there more significant than you know.
Wire 13,00.00 to this account if you want to keep these pictures/ videos private. I'm warning you, Jade, this isn't a joke. I will publish these videos live if I don't receive the wire transfer.
Go to the police; you'll regret it.
Your body is beautiful; I know you are a slut. So, you may not care if these videos get released, but I bet that sweet little ass you tapped tonight would care. You'll take these threats seriously if you don't want Cat hurt.
I click on the video attached with the message and gasp, seeing Jade and Cat in bed having sex. She looks away, ashamed. I quickly squeeze her hands. "You are not going to pay these bastards a dime. I will take care of this, Jade."
The messages continue, and they get more threatening, making my heart race in fear. Shay looks over my shoulder, and I see her face visibly pale.
Sick freaks like you need to be wiped from this earth. How fucked up are you that you would sleep with another female. Your existence on this earth is a threat to the general public.
I am gay.
I am lesbian.
Bullshit, you are trash and need to be set on fire and killed as they do in Iraq. Americans are too soft.
You are not safe. You can not hide. I will hunt you, and I will end you dyke.
"Jesus Christ, Jade." Shay mumbles. "Do you have any idea who could be sending these?" "I don't know, I thought at first someone from school, but these kept coming today, and their vital is so hateful I can't see anyone in my school sending them. Whoever sent them has so much hate and anger it feels personal. I have no idea how they got a video of Cat and me having sex, either."
"I want police around you at all times. I mean, don't try to slip away." Jade coughs and nods as her friends come in. "Don't scare, Cat. Please." I nod, slipping her phone into my pocket. Cat races to her side, grabbing her hands. "I'm here, Jade. What's wrong?"
"Can't perform the song I wanted to. My lungs aren't up to it. I want to make sure my mom's tribute is special, so I need help changing this song."
"We got you. Jade. Whatever you need." Tori and Andre sit by her. I leave them to plan their new song nodding at Gabby and Shay, who follow me to the other side of the room. "I don't know who sent these messages, but they are nasty, and we can't shrug them off, not with all the hate towards the LGBTQ community lately." Gabby and Shay grasp hands. Gabby pulls Shay to her chest, looking lovingly at her wife and partner.
"We will do whatever we have to so Jade is protected."
"Good, I need to find Jacqui. I have no jurisdiction here, but she does."
"We got her." "Thank You." I hurry out the door and slip down the steps behind the stage as Inishmore takes the stage. Lively Irish music begins to play as the crowd is on their feet dancing.
Pushing through the crowd, I search for Jacqui, finally finding her doing a jig with Kayla and some of Jacqui's friends. I motion for her to follow me, but she's slightly drunk and pulls my hands to join them. It's too noisy to talk, so I resign myself to dancing, spotting Olivia swinging her hips and tapping her feet to the beat.
'Sé mo laoch mo ghile mear
Bonnie boy, while mear
You will be my gallant star
Oh heys to me mo while mear
In this land, this land unfree
Ooh, who will fein to unchain me
My children keyed in vain for thee
To break my chains for liberty.
I can practically feel Edele's gaze through my back as I turn, tapping my feet. From the stage, she's shooting me daggers. So, I clap louder and smile brighter as I twirl Jacqui under my arms. The six women all move with elegance and grace, their moves sharp and fast the way only Celtic Dance can be their jumps high as if they are still in their twenties. The current song they are singing ends the music fades softly, blending with the start of their next song. I wish I could still move the way they do. Between my arthritis and aging limbs, some days, it's a struggle to get out of bed.
"Amanda." Olivia slips her hand into mine and pulls me closer, spinning me away from Jacqui. "What do you think you are doing? Fucking with Edele is dangerous. "She's like the rising sun of hell; if you stare too long, she'll burn you with her glare to a crisp." Olivia's grip is firm, and her hips sway, exhilarating and lively. Sliding her right foot back and the other one forward, she dropped me so low that my hair brushed the ground, then we sprang back up again so quickly that she gave whiplash. I barely catch my breath as I grab her shoulders to keep my balance. She wiggles her hips, bumping her left one with mine, telling me to forget the games and capture the moment. Us here. Together. Not Working. Just existing peacefully. No Kids. No Drama. Just we and the music is moving as one, ideally in tune with the beat. Her dress spun around her, and for a moment, it looked like she was flying. I catch a glimpse of her legs, smooth and muscular, as her dress rises, and my heart soars as fast as her dress. Then the ground was beneath her again. My heart never comes down. It stays soaring. The realization hits me. I am in love with Olivia, my best friend, and my boss. The cold hard truth doesn't need alcohol to make my body feel dizzy.
The Dance does that all on its own.
"Now, our hit song, I know you all know it, so don't be shy, let's go! Get up and dance!"
Inish-Breeze
Verse One
The time has come; we must go.
I hope you will remember us when the night comes.
When daylight rises, we are not there anymore.
Don't cry for us because we are gone.
Celebrate our journey to our dreams.
Chorus
We girls are living our destiny
Blowing away from Aran Islands
With the Inishbreeze, we sail on wings of hope
Fire under our feet
Desire in our hearts
A new journey has begun.
So, don't you cry when daylight breaks?
Verse Two
Remember our Dance when you are sad.
Remember the dreams we sang upon.
We promise no matter where we go, the rolling hills of our youth.
We will never be far behind in our hearts.
I never promise I don't keep.
I swear on my heart. Ireland, you are always on my mind.
The time has come, and we must go gently now.
I was carried away by the swift Inishbreeze.
Bridge
Tell my ma' I love her.
Tell my daddy I will always be his little girl.
It's time for me to grow up and be my own woman.
Ooh, Ireland, so sweet; Ireland, you will be in my heart forever.
Verse Three
The years have rolled by, and I always remember my promises.
No, ooh, times have been tough, but I swear I never forgot the girl I used to be.
The girl who danced downside those rolling hills caught fish with her bare hands.
Who swore I would be on stage one Day singing about those simpler days
?
Today is those Days here. Do you remember me, Ireland?
Child of your eyes.
Everyone screams as their feet move with the fur of ferries on crack. Hands clap hard as the music gets louder and faster. The excitement fills the air beer mugs are raised as the crowd screams out. "Sláinte is táinte." The women on stage are laughing and bumping hips as they take each other's arms, swinging each other around. "Amanda, are you a little freaked out seeing this side of mom?" Kim is beside me suddenly, her feet moving in time to the beat. "Yes, a little, Kim." "good, it's not just me, okay? Carry on then, "Sláinte." She salutes me, laughs, and takes off dancing. "Very strange to see Kim out of jail and not high. How is she doing, Amanda?" "She seems okay, but one never can tell with Kim."
"I have to sit down. Liv. I can't keep going. I'm old and out of shape."
"You are not out of shape, Amanda. Your body is amazing." I feel a slight blush creep up my cheeks. "Aw, thanks. Liv. Do you think so? Some days I feel like my body is falling apart."
"Amanda, I have twenty-plus years on you. I wish I were as young and versatile as you."
"You don't look a day over thirty. Liv." "Liar." She hisses but laughs. We find a seat inside the lounge and sink into it, sighing. "Guinness, Miss?" "Why yes, I would love one. Thank you, Frank." The waiter nods and moves to the people next to us. Angelina Jolie and Tom Hanks. I have died and gone to heaven. My mom takes the mic breathing heavily.
"Thank You, everyone. It's been a pleasure to perform for you. Thank you to all our fans. I promise we will be back later in the show. Right now, though, I want to introduce you to my niece. Jade West. She's going to be performing a special song written by her and my nephew Ryan; joining them are some of Jade's friends from Hollywood Arts, including Aislin's daughter, Cat Valentine."
The crowd screams and claps louder and louder each time they applaud. Stepping out of the studio as the glass doors slide open, Jade bows with her friends and heads to the piano. Andre returns to the drums. Tori and Cat take the mics.
Heartstrings
Verse One
I have a memory locked into my heart.
I keep it safely tucked inside.
Previous to ever say out loud.
Today I did it, mom. I got my driver's license.
The Day you always dreamed about, and you couldn't be here to hug me.
But you are in my heart forever.
I took it all in, mom, all your fears and worries.
All your hopes and dreams for Ryan and me.
Chorus
We got each other. But we miss you every Day.
I promise I will watch over him the way I know you are watching over us.
You are in every beat of my heart. You pull the strings.
Your words are memories I have locked on repeat inside the chambers.
Every beat, Every breath I take, you are beside me—every day in every way.
You are my harbor. My light in the darkest times.
I never understood the depth of pain.
Until the Day I lost you.
Now I keep you in my heartstrings, and whenever I am lost, I listen closely to the sweetest melody.
Your voice guides me. Your words inspire me.
I know I have an angel watching over me.
My mother.
Verse Two
I remember when I was small.
You took my hand and told me, baby, close your eyes.
Dance to the music in your heart, and create your melody.
You are strong. You are brave, and you are beautiful.
You are the daughter I always knew I would have. I know you can achieve anything.
Mama, I never dreamed I would lose you when I was so young.
I hope I have made you proud of the woman I am becoming.
Ooh, it can be challenging to be good or honest in a cold world.
But I swore I would always try to hold my virtue high.
So, for you, I try every Day.
Bridge [Ryan]
Today I watched my sister blow out the candles on her birthday cake.
I promise you. I didn't hit her sixteen times, but boy, did I want to.
Mom, I know what you would say if you were here. So, I said it for you.
Jade, my daughter. I want you always to be authentic; I couldn't be prouder of the woman you have become.
Honest, loyal, Fierce, and ambitious.
It's hard to know who you will be in the years to come.
I want you to promise me. You'll never be afraid to fall in love.
Gender doesn't matter. Find the music which moves your heart.
Live like your heart is burning in its last days.
Build those memories. Love hard, and don't be afraid of heartbreak.
Those strings are more challenging than they sound.
I held your hand, mom when you lay gasping for air, and I promised you.
I would be kind.
I would be tough. I wouldn't cry. How do I keep those promises when most days.
I don't feel tough, and the tears won't stop.
You saw the best inside of me.
We had too short of a time together; I had more lessons I needed to learn.
Mom, you were my light. How do I say goodbye when I am afraid of the dark?
Chorus
We got each other. But we miss you every Day.
I promise I will watch over them the way I know you are watching over us.
You are in every beat of our hearts. You pull the strings.
Your words are memories I have locked on repeat inside the chambers.
Every beat, every breath I take, you are beside me. Every Day, in every way.
You are my harbor. My light in the darkest times.
I never understood the depth of pain.
Until the Day I lost you.
Now I keep you in my heartstrings, and whenever I am lost, I listen closely to the sweetest melody.
Your voice guides me. Your words inspire me.
I know I have an angel watching over me.
My mother.
There's a silence that can't be sliced even with a knife. Tears roll down everyone's faces as they sniffle back their emotions. Jade joins her friends and brother in the center of the stage, worry etched across her face, no doubt over the silence. CJ is the first to break the silence, clapping loudly and whistling. AJ and Noah follow, and the rest of the audience quickly finds the strength to put aside their emotions to applaud these fantastic kids. Relief washes over Jade's tired face as she hears the booming sound coming from miles and miles. Bowing, Jade covers her mouth as she buries herself in Cat's arms. The look of pride on Cat's face is pure love. It's breathtaking and heartbreaking.
"Aw, ain't that sweet. You all." My heart stops. My heart freezes. Remi's voice rises above the applause. Jesus, nothing can keep this kid down. How is she, my kid? I would've taken the hint hours ago if I wasn't wanted somewhere. She's like the phoenix constantly rising. Where is she? I can't find her, but her voice echoes across the audience.
"Applaud the little liar, why don't you? Jade's a liar. But if you are going to celebrate her then you should know the truth about her, shouldn't you? Don't believe me? Look for yourself. She's been hiding the truth about why her mother died all these years." The big screens suddenly crack to life. Videos of Jade holding her HIV medication appear on the screen, along with snippets of her and Cat talking.
"Did I play that scene okay, Jade? I never know how to portray my character. How can someone hate someone else so much simply because of a disease they didn't ask to contract? Why is there so much fear of HIV? So, much anger. I'm not HIV positive. I can't imagine not being able to go to school because I have an illness."
"Cat, you have to remember back in the eighties, public education about the virus was nonexistent; fears were rampant that sharing a bathroom or even a handshake with someone infected with HIV could spread the disease. Parents even began pulling their kids out of the school in protest. You played the scene beautifully. Yeah. You're right. You have no idea what it's like to be HIV positive, but I do, and let me assure you. I couldn't have played that scene any brighter."
"Look at Ryan White's story and let it help you be your guide. I can't tell you what it's like to live with people knowing my status because my mom was so afraid of the public's anger and hate from the epidemic's early days that she never let anyone know our diagnosis. I don't know what to do now. I've been lying so long; how could I ever come out and not be scrutinized for a choice I was never allowed to make about an illness I did nothing to contract."
"When Ryan finally returned to school after winning the lawsuit, his fellow students vandalized his locker and bullied him, often throwing homophobic insults at him. Outside school, the family endured slashed car tires and rocks thrown through their windows. I wish I could tell you times have changed, but I can't say for sure they have. So, I will do what my mom asked me to and keep quiet."
There's a deep pain inside Jade's eyes as she confides in her best friend, who reaches over and hugs her. Anger burns inside my veins. Did Remi take this video? How did she get it if she didn't, and why would she expose Jade like this? Could her self-esteem be so damaged, her heart so cold, and her jealousy so intense she would risk going to jail for illegally recording someone without their consent?
"Looks like Saint Caitlin wasn't a saint; she was just an ordinary slut who got a disease meant for sinners and sluts. It gets better though turns out she lied to Mr. West as well; I got the legal documents here from their father to prove Jade and Ryan aren't the children of Mr. West. They are just two of the more than 20 million bastard children in the USA who don't have a biological father. I also have a lovely note from their father. Shall I read it to you?"
"Where is she? The little bitch?" Jacqui mutters, searching for Remi along with Olivia and me. Even Edele looks humiliated. She's burying her hands in her hands as Aislin rushes to the sound engineer. "Shut the sound off!" Aislin is screaming.
"Try it, Aunt Aislin, and I promise I will send the video link of Jade and Cat having sex to every cell phone to every tabloid. That's right; your daughter is whore. Ooh, a lesbian whore, which is even sluttier."
Remi's voice gets more profound as she laughs. "Dear bastard children, your slut of a mother and I we weren't trying to conceive but weren't actively trying to prevent either, I always suspected neither of you was mine, but I was so in love with your mother when we first met I believed everything the whore told me. Ooh, and her money wasn't hurtful either. She lied her way through our marriage using drugs and sleeping around, but she was a good lay, so I tolerated it. I accepted the responsibility for you two because it was easier than fighting with her insufferable ass when she was alive. I was rising in my career, and a scandal like illegitimate children wouldn't help me get higher in the chain. I never loved you. You make me sick, and I hated being your father. Don't you ever wonder why I was never home or never wanted to spend time with you? You don't make me proud. You two are a disease, a shame on the West's good name. Just like the disease she caught from her deceitfulness, we never knew how she saw AIDS; it could be the drugs she so willfully injected into her veins or sleeping her way through all of Los Angeles. By the time we discovered, she was positive. Jade was two, and Ryan was born. We were in the process of divorcing. I thought about testing you two little rats, but again the fear of a scandal stopped me."
"I only found out the truth recently. A friend I met through my wife. This friend and I had a few drinks, and she said she needed to get something off her chest that she's been holding a secret for years and told me everything. I was shocked. My suspicions were correct. Caitlin was a whore; I ran my DNA test, and these are the results. Plain as Day, the proof is in the DNA, which doesn't lie, unlike your mother. I am not usually the one that handles you two bastards. I want you both out of my house by the time I return from my vacation with my wife and my only child. You make me sick, and I don't want anything to do with either of you. Ever Again."
"Sounds harsh, huh? Guess that's what you get when you live a life of sin. The sins of the mother are passed down to her children, huh? I will leave you with this little taste of Jade's latest sins; I've sent a link to everyone's phones for your nightly enjoyment. Except for my dearest, sweetest mothers Amanda and Jacqui. I'm not stupid."
Suddenly the screen comes to life with the video of Cat and Jade having sex. Their moans fill the screen as Remi laughs; I still can't figure out where she is standing. One look at Jade's face though it suddenly doesn't matter where Remi is. My only concern is Jade and Ryan, and Cat.
"Jacqui, find my little bitch of a daughter and bring her ass in now!" "Someone turn that video off; Jesus Christ, they are minors!" Aislin is screaming as I head to the stage to get Jade off. She's frozen, but she suddenly takes off before I get there. "Find out who is playing that video; get the feed cut!" Olivia and Jacqui have already begun to race toward the sound booth. My steps quicken as I approach the stage looking to see which way Jade ran. "Amanda!" Edele's voice catches me off guard. Her hands quickly grab me. "Our daughter is in trouble. Please, you have to help me."
"Help you?" I hiss. "You barred me from contact form the child I carried. You've never let me near her, and you filled her head with lies about me; now you want my help because the little girl you raised turned out to be the biggest bitch in Hollywood. Even bigger than you, unless you had something to do with this, Edele, Distributing child pornography."
"No, of course not; my god, I am horrified!"
"Good, you should be. Edele because what Remi did is inconceivable, and there is no justification for this. When we find her, she will face the swiftest of penalties. Rest assured; I will make sure of it—daughter of mine or not. Remi crossed a line. There is no coming back from this time."
"She did it to get your attention, Amanda. She's hurting. She wants a relationship with you but doesn't know how to reach you. I know, my daughter; this is all to get you to pay attention."
"Wrong way, Edele."
"It's the only way she knows, Amanda. She's damaged. I've tried for years to get her help. She won't listen. I'm afraid she's going to hurt herself. I'm afraid for her safety. Amanda, please listen to me; Remi is in deeper trouble than this. Please, no matter how you feel about me, she's your little girl. I know there's a part of you that still loves her."
"Don't you?" "I never stopped loving my daughter, Edele. How fucking dare you!"
"Amanda!" Olivia's voice cuts through my argument with Edele. "We have bigger problems than you two duking it out. "Split up, find Cat and Jade before they run into Remi, and we have world war fucking three on our hands. The media is already eating this shit up."
Mo Ghile Mear lyrics Songwriters: David Downes / Barry Mccrea / Caitriona Nidhubhghaill / Caitriona Ni Dhuill